An Enchanted Midnight.

by FOXTrot2

A drop of Moonlight.

It’s dark, so dark. Nothing but darkness surrounds me, I get up on all four hooves and breathe out. I can see my breathe and it’s very cold. I start to wonder if I’m dead. The possibilities flood into my mind as I start to panic. What if I’m dead!? I think to myself. But wait a minute…I don’t feel dead. Her ears perk up when she hears a bird wail outside. Outside…I’m in a cave, I think to myself as I start looking for a way out. And then I find it, moonlight projects a beam onto the caves misty surface.

It’s just then I realize I’m standing in a shallow pool of water, and it feels cold, like everything. I slowly inch towards the illuminated patch of water, cautiously looking around. I walk into the ray of light blue moon light and look up at a bright waxing moon. It’s midnight. I think to myself gazing at the captivating moon, just then a sparkle of light flashes across the star painted sky.

The silhouette of a bird flies across the bright sky. The sight of another living thing excites me and I frantically think of ways to get out.
How am I gonna get out? How am I gonna get out!? The mare was starting to sweat from anxiety now, and her horn was sparking pale magenta magic, though the mare did not notice. Panicked notions run through her mind, then her horn finally peaks and--- the dark purple mare disappears in a brilliant flash of magenta light-and reappears above ground.

The panicked mare quickly looks around, scanning the area. How in…in…where am I? I ask myself, then notice the round hole to the cave she teleported out of, approximately one-and-a-half yards away. Then realized: I did it! I did it! The elated mare begins to excitedly bounce in circles, but freezes in place.

Her eyes go wide when she hears a rustling sound come from a nearby bush, unsure of what vile creature could be lurking about. Out of impulse the mare picks up a stick in her magenta aura feebly waving it at the bush, as if to intimidate the creature hiding inside. Then… a little grey bunny hops out, looking at the paranoid mare quizzically. It hops off to vanish into another bush. The mare lets go a sigh of relief that she didn’t realize she was holding. She then looks around again, check marking the area before trailing off into the dark unknown.

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After trailing in the dark hollow woods for a little over forty-seven minutes, she stops to rest. Sitting her flank on the dry black soil, she looks up at the moon again.

A question knocks on the backdoor of her mind “How did I get here?” the mare asked aloud as if expecting to receive an answer.

But her only answer was the chilling silence of the forest trees. She breathes a sigh, gets back up on all four hooves and continues her trek into the darkness. She only made it a few hoof-steps before she heard something, a voice, as low and calm as the wind. Curious but still cautious the mare ventures off of her seemingly endless trail and decides to follow the sweet voice.

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Deep in the forest a Pegasus mare, of a light soft green, sang into the silent night. Sitting on the inviting ground, letting the cool swaying grass gently caress her body, and letting the moist air soak in her bare fur.

The luminescent butterflies glowed in the dark like miniature night lights. She was content and alone, no pony could bother her here, she told herself. That is until she heard a pony cry out “Ahhhhhhh!!!” No sooner than she looks up a pony lands on her with a heavy “oof!”

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The dark purple mare followed the voice to a small clearing in the forest. There, a light green Pegasus lay singing her harmonious tune into the still air.

Excited to see another pony I gallop over there. One of my back hooves trips on a wayward rock sending me tumbling comically down the hill and over a conveniently curved branch. Launching me in the air screaming “Ahhhhhh!!!” as I come falling out of the air like a rock in a pond, crashing into the alarmed mare.
-
-
“Owwwwwwww,” we groan in unison. Sitting upright to re-stabilize ourselves, our dazed gazes meet and we both let out a little *yelp!*

“Oh, I’m so, so, so, so sorry! Did I hurt you!?” I half ask, half panic.

“W-Wuh?” the still dazed mare responds. “Oh-yeah, I’m ok, I think. Wait, why did you crash into me? You’re not part of the imperial squadron are you!?” she asks, this time sounding frightened.

Imperial Squadron? ”Umm no? At least I don’t think so,” I reply, which seems to calm down the mare. “I sort of tripped and fell off that hill,” I say pointing a hoof at the treacherous hill.

“Oh…well, what’s your name? I’m Honeycomb.” she says, extending a hoof of greeting. But I don’t take it.

How do I not know my own name!? I start to feel a stream run down my face. “I-I don’t know,” I say.

The cheerful sanctuary lost all comfort. Honeycomb a little surprised and sympathetic, puts a hoof around the mares shoulder to bring some comfort to her.

“It’s ok, it’s ok. We can come up with a name…it’ll be fun!” Honeycomb says, trying to cheer up the now openly sobbing mare.

“O-Ok” she says wiping away the river running down her cheeks.

”Hmmm…how about moonlight?” Honeycomb asks with enthusiasm.

”Hmmm…-,“ I roll it over in my mind, ”-Um, no.” I say still wiping at my face.

”Oh…what about Midnight?” Honeycomb asks, this time with a little less enthusiasm.

‘It’s Midnight.’ I think to myself, gazing at the captivating moon.' ”Yes, YES! That’s a great name! Thank you so much!” I say before giving Honeycomb a big bear hug. ”So what now?” I ask.

”Uhm, you could stick with me?” Honeycomb says. Not really an odd request, just an odd way to ask.

”Ok,”I reply.

So we leave the little crash zone and head deeper into the night, with the moon our only guide.

”So where are we?” I ask, after a long silence stretches too far.

”The DrakeWood Forest,” Honeycomb replies nonchalantly, as if everypony knew.

”No-I mean…Where?” I ask again, trying and failing to find the right words.

”You mean the country?” Honeycomb asks sounding confused.

”Yes.”

”Marethage,” Honeycomb replies, in the same conversant tone.

”Th-thanks,” I reply, slurring a little. Why do I feel so light headed all of a sudden? I slow down just a little, my vision swimming.

“Is something wrong?” Honeycomb asked, with concern semi-clear in her voice.

”N-no no I’m-,“ I collapse on the ground, pooling blood from my sides. My wings falling limp onto the ground. It’s just then that Honeycomb realizes I’m an alicorn (because my dark shade hid it from view in the night).

Shocked, confused and worried at the same time, Honeycomb plops me on her back and gallops back to her town in breakneck speeds. Only one thought ran through her mind. I’ts the prophecy!

Author's Note:

Remember when Midnight tripped on that hill? Well a few twigs and rocks impaled her wings and numbed them. But she didn't even know she had wings, so it was a surprise when she fainted of blood loss.

Comments

[Fractured Note]

First step looks decent. Now make sure not to turn this into a shameless insert or a terrible Alicorn story. Nothing wrong so far, but I've read a lot of stories that crash and burn because of plot Alicorns and such. It looks good, just make sure the Alicorn doesn't get insanely OP and this could turn into a good story over all. First story though isn't that bad.

[FOXTrot2]

So if I plan to make midnight a monarch...and give her supreme rule over marethage?

[JumpingShinyFrogs]

This story does so many things wrong. It introduces OCs and places in the most confusing way possible, there's an amnesia cliche, and your OC is somehow royalty and amnesiac at he same time. Your grammar is horrendous, there's no sense of pacing and for the love of all things holy, why is your OC an alicorn? No one likes an alicorn OC.

6750048 That will not help in the slightest. That in fact makes it worse. As another point of note, when replying to a comment, actually use the reply button, or else they won't see your comment. It's the little button in the top right corner of the comment with two arrows on it (>>)

[FOXTrot2]

6750247
thank you that makes me fell so much better.

[JumpingShinyFrogs]

6750418 Your story is not good. I am not obligated to be nice to you. Instead of whining about how I'm not all 'hugs and kisses', why don't you listen to what I said and use it to improve your story?

[FOXTrot2]

6750446
I intend on making this a 100.000 word long story.
So give me time to explain "why the alicorn?" and u may just change your opinion.

[JumpingShinyFrogs]

6750863 There's almost never a good enough reason for a character to be an alicorn right off the bat. It would be far better if the story started out with her as a unicorn or something, and then over the course of the story she earned her right to be an alicorn. It isn't something that's freely given. It would be much more beneficial for her as a character too if over the course of these 100,000 words we were given a chance to grow to like her and know her as a character, like Twilight. Instead, you've just said "Well, my OC is so awesome that she's just started out as an instant alicorn." In doing that, you've more or less implied that you think your character is above other characters in terms of virtue, status, and power. In essence, you've created a fledgling Mary Sue.

[FOXTrot2]

Just so you all know it may be a while before the next chapter.
I made the next half but got stuck in the middle.that and its my first story.

[FOXTrot2]

Ok...I'm going on vacation from this story for a loooong time
Not at all because I feel like adding to it once in a blue moon.

[Eyes]

I’m gonna read this now, and silently judge you - out loud.

[FOXTrot2]

8216116
You do that. And I will silently scruitinize your commentary- out loud