Daring Do travels off to a distant land where she hopes to uncover a city lost beneath the desert sands, but in doing so runs into a foe more dangerous than she could ever imagine, that foe being none other than Daring Do herself.
(Note: As I was a brony only a couple of weeks when I wrote this there are many errors with names, locals, and such. I apologize)
Good concept and good writing, but I would recommend working on your descriptions and dialogue. As is, the characters feel somewhat wooden with the blunt way that they're speaking. Try to pepper the narrative with some imagery involving their mannerisms and subtle actions. That will allow for them to breathe and seem less mechanical.
U best finish it.
702250 Good Advice. Thanks!