Thorns
The flowers were blooming, the birds were chirping, the garden was warm…
And still Blueblood could find something to complain about.
It’s not that Luna didn’t like her nephew. He could be charming in his own way. He was smart, and quite good when it came to politics and government.
But he was just so stuck-up!
1000 years on the moon tends to humble a pony, Luna thought. She was quite down-to-earth after her banishment, and loved mingling among her subjects. Apparently, such was a task that Blueblood despised.
It wasn’t the that she was annoyed at him either. Of course he got on her nerves from time to time, but she wasn’t annoyed. She saw herself in the way he acted.
And she feared what his future might be if it turned out like hers had.
Blueblood huffed and turned his nose up.
“This garden is filthy, auntie.” He complained. Luna sighed and grimaced. “I don’t understand why you brought me here.”
Luna rolled her eyes and walked down the stone path through the gardens. Her obsidian shoes clicked against the path and nudged her nephew along with her wing.
“We simply believed thou spend too much time alone in thy room.” She explained.
“I like my room.” He protested.
“Yes.” Luna sighed once more, “We know. We did the same as you many years ago.”
Blueblood gave her a confused look.
“I do not understand what you mean, auntie…”
“Pay no mind.” Luna quickly added. She walked along the path and stopped in front of a bed of roses. She smiled softly and plucked one from the bush. Blueblood watched the rose twirl in the air in his aunt’s magic and huffed.
“So how have you been recently, auntie?” Blueblood asked, kicking the dirt beneath him.
“Fine.” Luna responded, levitating the rose up to her nose to smell it. “How have you been, dear nephew?”
“I have been okay auntie.” Blueblood said, a bit nervous. He could tell Luna was annoyed about something. “How has auntie Celestia been?”
Luna smiled and giggled softly, “Oh, you know our sister. She is overworking herself as always, though she is quite content.”
Blueblood nodded idly and looked at the rose bush in front of him.
“What are you doing with that rose, auntie? You could prick yourself on it’s thorns.”
Luna frowned and sighed.
“We are simply admiring the garden.” Luna said, looking up the bright, cloudless sky. She smiled at the warmth of the day and opened her wings a little. “1000 years on the moon, and you too would miss the flowers.”
“I suppose that is correct…”
Luna frowned once more.
“Do you remember the gala?” She asked.
“Of course.” He replied, brushing a hoof on a rose and smelling it.
“You remember Rarity, do you not?”
“Why yes, I do.”
“Quite the lovely mare, is she not?”
“I suppose.” Blueblood sighed and looked up at Luna, “Where are you going with this?”
“We are simply curious as to why you treated her so horribly.” Luna grumbled, brushing her mane back. The recent gala was a disaster, but Rarity’s tale of Blueblood’s cruelty was by far one of the worst things she’d heard from the night. Blueblood was supposed to be a fine gentleman, and although she had hardly known her nephew for a few months, he did seem stuck up.
Blueblood rolled his eyes and sighed.
“She herself was quite rude to me.” Blueblood turned his nose up and away from Luna. Luna had never wanted to smack somepony so much in her life.
“We do not believe that, nephew.”
“Oh, so you would believe that harlot?”
Luna recoiled and stood up, extending her wings.
“A harlot, you say?! Thou think much of thyself. For thou art a pig, dear nephew.” Luna huffed and fluttered her wings.
“A pig? A pig am I?” Blueblood was practically bursting with anger. “You spent 1000 years on the moon for high treason, auntie! You have no ground to insult me.”
Luna snarled and lifted the rose she had in her magic.
“Twas our own stupidity that lead to our banishment. We repented for our mistakes, and were forgiven by our loving subjects. Can the same be said of you and the lovely Rarity?”
Blueblood grabbed the rose in his own magic and yanked it from Luna. The rose was a symbol of his bloodline. He was descended from Princess Platinum, and as such his bloodline was associated with roses and beauty.
“It is not my fault if she does not find me charming, aunt.” Blueblood stated, staring the intimidating princess in the eyes. “Every rose has it thorns, and it seems Rarity found the way to prick them.”
Luna sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Every rose has it thorns, yes. But it does not go about trying to prick others. Should it prick somepony, it apologizes with it’s sweet scent and lovely petals.” Luna said, tapping Blueblood’s horn with a smirk. “It seems you still have much to learn, nephew.”
Blueblood stared at Luna with an open mouth. She stood up tall, walked away from him, and took off into the sky, most likely to raise the moon for the night.
He picked up the flower again and looked at it closely.
He knew what he had to do.
Rarity watched as her magic levitated a few spools of thread over to her. She smiled as she continued her work. She was making a lovely red dress for a customer in Canterlot. It was due in 3 days, and Rarity still had much to do. She expected an all-nighter or two should be in order.
A knock on the door snapped her out her stupor.
“Who is it darling?” Rarity asked loudly. When no answer came, she checked the time. 10:30 pm. Who would be at her boutique at this hour?
She stood up and opened the door a crack.
“Sweetie Belle, if this is a prank again, it’s not funny-”
Rarity looked out the door to see no one there.
She frowned in confusion and looked down to see a rose, with the thorns cut off. A shiny red ribbon was tied in a bow around the flower, and a note was set under it.
She picked up the rose and smelled it, smiling at the sweet scent. She set it down on a nearby table. She looked back at the ground. It had an unmistakable compass rose, the cutie mark of a stallion she wanted to forget.
Nevertheless, Rarity picked the letter up in her magic and went back inside to read it.
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This story, in my opinion, quite interesting and very sweet in its self. It's brief and too the point but is don't very well. Have a like; this story is one of my faverites!
There are just a few grammatical errors:
At is with
Her obsidian she's clicked against the path and she nudged her nephew along with her wing.
Get rid of the with.
Wow. That was sweet. And awesome.
I really like how you handled this prompt! Some people have trouble trying to write a story that reforms Blueblood, but you got everything spot on. He learned from someone wiser, had a push in the right direction, and we can see that he's still on his way. It's not an instant reform, but the first step, and the ambiguity at the end seals the story nicely. Well done! Have a fave and a like!
But now I feel compelled to nitpick the grammar in this story.
Let's do this.
*puts on Grammar Nazi helmet*
Numbers are written out, so this should be:
This shows up in another place too.
Should be:
If a pair of quotation marks surrounds a sentence/paragraph, and the sentence would normally end in a period, a comma is used in place of a period if there is a, "he said" or "she said" immediately after the quote closes. Also, the "he said" "she said" is never capitalized. Never
Not sure if I explained that clearly... but what's the fun in making sense?
Feel free to tell me if that was confusing.
Uh... perhaps there's a better way of saying that? "Out of the zone" is something people say, but IT DOES NOT BELONG IN NARRATION OR FORMAL WRITING!
You may be new to the site, but you definitely have some writing skill. I could barely find any problems with this story grammatically or otherwise.
Again, well done!
6617927
Thank you for the critique. I'll be sure to watch out for that next time!
I like how Luna acts in this. She doesn't seem to be moping about her past actions, but standing tall like she's fully moved on, not dwelling in the past, but never forgetting it as well.
But I was never the biggest fan of Blueblood realizing his mistakes. I always like imagining him as a complete jerk, and the butt of every joke. Like comic relief, and that one character you want to get rid of, but you can't.
But still, I'm giving this a thumbs up!
Luna forgets one thing. The roses don't actively look for hurt, but they don't want to be bothered either. The thorns are there to keep itself safe. Those that go after the roses are the ones risking the thorns and if they get pricked it's their own fault...not the rose's.
These are two characters that I don't often see interact, and yet there are good possibilities to be had from featuring them together. Nicely done!
6618424 Blueblood is the one who approached and struck up the conversation with Rarity while she was admiring a rose bush. He saw a mare who was interested in him, picked her up and assumed that she be thrilled to be with him no matter how he behaved.
6618857 Rarity when to the Gala for the sole purpose of meeting Blueblood and getting him to fall head-over-heels over her. Plus, she went out to that garden because Blueblood did. It was Rarity's own fault. With all the gossip columns she used to read, she should have found something about Blueblood other then him being a prince.
6618986
It was not Rarity's own fault at all... That's blaming the victim. By that logic, a person is entitled to treat anyone who is interested in dating them like crap.
The only person responsible for bad behavior is the one who behaved that way.
6619104
6618986
I think they're both at fault.
Rarity was trying to attract Blueblood for status/appearance instead of anything substantial.
He was a jerk.
Rarity was being very short-sighted.
He was a jerk.
Rarity learned that having class doesn't make one classy.
Blueblood should be hanged for mistreatment of a lady.
See? Both are equally at fault here!
6619104 If you go looking to date a celebrity for no other reason than that person is a celebrity, AND that celebrity is known as a jerk, yet you didn't know that (and could have easily found out), then, yes, you do deserve to be treated like crap.
6619242 Hanged? Seriously? No.
6619305
Fine...
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!
Oh yeah, and have Rarity subjected to three straight days of Twilight Friendship Lecture Time.
6619242 Rarity learned nothing.
A few seasons later, she acts the same way towards Trenderhoof.
6620196
To be fair to them both, Rarity read his articles before they met and Trenderhoof really wasn't a jerk. It wasn't that she found out she didn't like who he was, because she did know this time. She just wasn't his type. Just like he wasn't Applejack's.
Me gustaría que le hubiera dicho que Rarity era una trepadora.
and