Who says girls don't play video games?
Trixie returns to Ponyville to revisit Twilight Sparkle, ever since she became the Princess of Friendship, she craved and longed for power. This time, Twilight was going to obey her commands then, all of Equestria.
Will the Mane Six and Spike save Equestria before it's too late? Or will they fall under Trixie's spell?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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One of my biggest pet peeves is the hypnotized character calling the hypnotist Mistress/Master without being prompted.
This was extremely basic as hypnosis stories go; she just shows up, there's the cliche "hypnosis isn't real" line, the induction lasts all of 5 seconds, and there's a basic trigger.
Still, more hypnosis stories is always good, and so is more writers.
This chapter was a nice improvement in content; Rainbow Dash's mind changing from her perspective was nice.
But then an OC shows up out of nowhere in the role of the apparent protagonist. That's probably one of the worst ways to introduce OCs possible.
Also, unless something really dark is going to happen in future chapters, the dark tag should go and this should be in the "Everything Else" section of the mind control group, not the grimdark one. That's for stuff like death, rape, trauma, and general grit.
6487670 wouldn't be too sure to say this 'lovely heart' is an OC...perhaps it's...possibly Rarity?
6487685
Whoops, forgot that Dash wasn't taken in her cloud house. I'd assumed it was a pegasus.
6487712 Yeah. plus, said mystery character's magic is glowing a blue color? we all know Rarity's magic in the show glown Blue. with the exception being that whole time she went nuts due to the inspiration spell....where it was a freaky green...
To Arzoo,
Thanks for the help, I'm changing Mistress Trixie to just Trixie.
-nerdyGAMERgrl
Twilight says that hypnosis is an old mares tale. five minuets later she gives
Trixie a book about hypnosis that is not label in fiction. Good one Twi.
6487853
Well, she could've bought it earlier thinking it was fiction. :3
6487674
Don't worry, a death or SOMETHING will happen later. Trust me, it'll be awesome.
6487723
Oh, that's one of my O.C's her name is Lovely Heart if you read ahead.
Plus, usually magic is the same color as their eyes and/or cutie mark.
Examples Are:
Cadence's Magic: Blue = Cutie Mark
Rarity's Magic: Blue = Eyes & Cutiemark
Flim & Flam's Magic: Green = Eyes
Gives her a trigger for waking up, but doesn't use it?
Hey, I love this story are you going to continue it?
OH NO!!!!Joy stick is gonna be hypnotized!Someone must tell lovey heart!
Also good story.