Why is it so dark? Am I dead? No. No. It's not that. I would be freezing if that were the case. I just feel warm and...and like I'm floating in some strange slime...Moving around doesn't seem to help. Actually, I can't seem to move at all, let alone breathe. I would most definitely be hyperventilating right now if it wasn't for that, but that doesn't mean I can't feel my heart throbbing like drums. What's the last thing I remember? What's the last thing...
My name is Gregary Oltondie. Good. I remember my name. I'm just an Average Joe. A Simple Sam. A Common Carter. An Everyday Nathaniel. That's a good sign although that doesn't put my uniqueness into aspect and doesn't bode well for my personality, or possible lack thereof. I...I'm married and...I have two kids...I think. Why can't I remember THEM? Isn't that something important? Maybe I didn't have a very good marriage relationship...or maybe I just can't remember them for some other, horrible reason. They might come back to me later when I encounter scenarios pertaining to them. Where was I before all this? I...I was at the store. The...The Kilimanshoppo. Nothing out of the ordinary aside from the stupid name...or was it clever? A huge store with several dedicated aisles, large white tiles on the floor with advertisements stuck to them. The roof was covered in long lights and the crappy, removable tiles made of white and black specks, and I was in the aisle checking for ketchup. So overpriced. Fifteen quid for five small bottles? Bloody rip offs.
Then...my chest started to hurt, and I blacked out. The last immediate thing I remember after that is waking up in a hospital room with a doctor in a white coat and sporting gray hair standing next to a nurse in a white dress. My vision was still blurry and the edges were still black, but I'm certain of what I saw. I think they mentioned something about putting me into a coma, but I don't remember it all in detail. Aside from those details, I can't feel anything. I must be in purgatory. I thought they said that this place would be full of fire or something which makes me question its separation to Hell. Less gay demons? Whatever. I never read the bible. I don't believe in all that 'gods and deities' stuff. Wait...I can feel movement...and now there's a light appearing near the end. That was fast. I'm so pure I can be the next messiah! (Blasphemy!)
"Push, my snowflake! The child will exit soon and enter our domain!" a male voice cheered on.
A female voice could be heard panting and gasping for air while other strange sounds chimed in the air. They sounded like bells and gentle gusts of wind. Just a few minutes later a young fawn was born into the world. A very small bundle of brown fur. Nothing more, nothing less. It was so...cute...but it wasn't breathing.
"Doctor?" the first male voice asked.
"Give it time. It IS of your blood and velvet. It must take in the energies of the snow and ice to take proper life."
Nervousness left way to comfort and relief when the fawn started to cry.
"I...will repress this memory for millennia to come. Why am I crying? I feel so...weird."
"..."
"What was that?"
"...betrothal to a pony..."
"Haha! Betrothal. What a stupid thing to say."
Little by little, Gregary's eyes began to open and the blur blinding his vision started to fade, clearing his view of what was around him. The floor was made in some sort of white substance that might've been marble but did not have its specks or any sort of distinguishing features of stone. No. These things were extremely smooth and almost a pearlescent white, if anything. The walls were another thing, however. Rounded, half-cylinders bulged out of the white walls and were painted a distinct shade of red. Furthermore, all the walls were covered by golden vines that stretched and twirled everywhere. The stained, glass windows depicting various different kinds of scenes rather than just a single individual were akin to those seen in ancient, gothic architecture. One of them showed some sort of deer standing on its hind legs and emitting what appeared to be white light from its horns at an amorphous, black mass that had arms and several red eyes placed randomly on it. The roof was in arcs and rounded domes, like many Gothic architectural buildings. Strangely enough, it was only as tall as buildings made with Roman architecture,conflicting with the gothic masonry. It was a strange compromise to say the least.
"Must be some sort of weird cult. They better not sacrifice me to their curry god or something!"
Gregary felt himself being lifted by two long sticks and found himself face-to-face with the most terrifying looking reindeer he had ever seen. Its antlers were like bones and frost gently descended from them while various different ice crystals formed then dissipated to leave place for new ones. The main fur of this abomination was a vanilla-tinted white while the face had pure, white frost extending from the horns to the eyes, then down the entire white muzzle, and stopping at his mouth. His eyes were black and had white iris, making him look extremely weird.
"So this is the newest addition to my family and the one that will help us all."
"It talks?! And what does it mean by 'newest addition to my family'?"
"What shall we name it?"
"I don't know. By the way, I think he's enamored by your looks, or at least terrified by it."
"Huh?"
The stag looked back to see his child staring at him with enormous eyes. It seemed like he would cry were the stag to move in the wrong way.
"Ha! His sister did the same thing, but she cried loudly."
"Damnit. Siblings?"
"He just stares. He will be promising for sure."
"Then should we name after our ancient tongue?" the female voice suggested.
"Hmm...That's a great idea. How about...Stelimus Anglacite, son of the God-King of reindeer?"
"I would like that, but get rid of the 'god-king' part. We don't need you getting a big head."
"But I am a god!" Anglacite complained in a childish manner.
"Deities certainly don't exist, but what about this guy thinking he's king?"
Another voice poked out from behind this weirdo who claimed himself as a 'deity' and a 'king'. "Your highness, if you can consider yourself as a god, then certainly you can accept Princesses Celestia and Luna as deities of pony-kind."
It was an equine creature with a yellow coat and orange-lime mane and tail. He was wearing a brown coat, boots, and hat, seemingly to protect himself from the cold.
"NEVER! They will NEVER be deities! I am the only true deity in this world!" The stag's voice boomed through the temple, forcing everyone to cover their ears and startling the equine.
'King' Anglacite cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Stelimus, that you had to witness that mere minutes after your birth." He turned to face his wife as well as rotating the fawn to see her. "I will show him to the deer. I want them to see him first and be assured of our future and his strength."
The doe in question was brown all over, but she also had the same frost decoration on her face, and her eyes were orange. She looked completely exhausted and was lying down on a pile of straw with a white blanket covering her. Another deer with antlers and a blue coat and surgery mask stood in front of her and just looked at me with ambivalence.
"Alright, but give him back to me afterwards. I wish...let him feed."
I felt myself being moved towards a pair of two doors that were opened by a gust of wind and frost that, surprisingly, did not chill me. I was blinded by the sun's pure light, but it didn't prevent me from hearing the loud roaring and cheering from an unknown source. I was lifted up, and when my eyes cleared, I could see nearly hundreds, if not several thousand deer below, and they were VERY far below. The light was still too bright for me to distinguish the buildings, but I could definitely see that the deer were all in some sort of town square.
"Fellow reindeer of the north, the new son is born!" A cheer resonated throughout the air. "With his birth, our futures are assured! I know that we shouldn't be forced to resort to such...actions, and it pains me as well, but if we are to survive, we need this newborn. The ice flows strong in his spirit even just after his birth, so he will most certainly become even greater in the future and represent our people perfectly, ensuring our superiority to pony kind!"
"Superiority? What is this, the nazi regime? Uh oh. Godwin's law just took effect."
King Anglacite waved to his people then somehow closed the doors again and face the few occupants of this room, and looked at his wife with a honeyed smile. She returned the same, but hers had a motherly additive to it.
"I return the little one to you to feed. I must return to speaking with my advisers."
"Alright," she answered.
The stag nodded then walked towards a door on the right of the wall right in front of the bed of straw and left. Meanwhile, I started to sweat and panic. I think the doctor noticed. His eyebrow went up, meaning that he's either questioning my mental capacity or that his eyebrow is alive. I'm going with the latter.
"Alright, Stelimus. It's time to nurse you. I'm certain you are already hungry, and I intend to make you a strong and healthy stag for the future."
"Oh dear God no. Doe. What are you doing? No! STOP!"
FINALLY a story with deers. I can say that will be an interesting story
6504183 Yeah, well, seeing it's current reception and lack of feedback (as always) you can expect me to update it very slowly, like all my other 'current' stories.
Looks very interesting!
The premise is certainly interesing, in my opinion. You have my curiosity.
6504809 First, your curiosity. Soon, your organs.
Well, somedeer certainly seem arrogant XD
Definitely following this story.
6505208 Oh, you'll love him quite a bit.
I love me some Deer stories, is this the first?
I'm looking forward to more, though I'm a bit saddened that so little was put up for the publishing.
6505241 I already love him
6505262 What do you mean?
I'm surprised there isn't a comedy tag for this fic, the disembodied human's reactions and thoughts cracked me up a few times. I do hope we get to see more soon, I have expectations for this story.
EX.PEC.TA.TIONS....cue dramatic lightning effect.
6505355 Updated with comedy tag. And so many comments from so many different people.
6505330
Just 1.8k words is a very small amount to judge a story on, considering the description advertises a lot.
6505375 Ooooh. I did think of making a second chapter, but considering that my stories don't exactly get much attention nowadays, I'm kinda non-plussed about the whole thing. Don't worry, though. All these comments from several different people got me to start the next chapter.
This will be good, I can tell.
6505536 HOW CAN YOU TELL? ARE YOU LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE?! A witch!
6505410 thanks man it may look bad to have so little attention for your story, but it's orginal and I myself would be very happy to know what will hapen next.
6505796 It's mainly due to my need to share my ideas with everyone and to hear what they think that drives me. That's how I was able to release three chapters in two hours for one of my other stories from a year or two ago. When I don't get those reactions, I lose interest in the story. I've already gone through that depression, so it doesn't matter to me anymore, but it does mean that the story will only be updated erratically.
orig13.deviantart.net/6334/f/2011/289/b/4/_canon_name___shrug_by_glitterypencils-d4d1sok.png
6505804 I know the pain I am stuck with my story because of this shit even if I startet it like a lightning it quickly burned out and is going very slowly.
How very interesting! You wrote a really good first chapter to this story, you got me interested in reading more. I can already tell this story is going to have some unique world building in it, which is always nice to see in stories. I like the bits of characterization that you established, it's going to be interesting to see how they will develop later on in future chapters (man that Anglacite certainly has a bit of a... God complex doesn't he? I also like how you portrayed the main character, he actually has character, and his reactions to the events in the chapter were pretty darn hilarious) . Your writing style is quite nice, good grammar and punctuation, it is always a nice thing to see in a story. I also like how you actually describe the characters and the atmosphere of the areas in the story !
This chapter is a really great start, and I have a feeling it will be quite a grand story in the future (that is what my gut tells me anyways).
6506063 You can thank all the people and editors that have corrected me over the years for my spelling and writing skills...While I did correct a bit of the spelling, if you want to see how much of a train wreck I was when I first started, you can read my very first story. *deep inhale*
I would give it a
[youtube=04Jkoa8nXT0]
Oh yes. I do love my world building. *serious face* I love it a lot, and I'll be able to create even more monsters to fit here. I've barely made any since I became obsessed with creating a monster class above Titan to classify my Nyum-Bunet.
[youtube=JfUM5xHUY4M]
And thanks for the compliments. I'm almost done with the newest chapter. You'll like the ki-...Wait. You made a punny. *slaps you*
6506080 Why, yes...yes I did make a punny , that was quite deer of you to notice my pun!
On a serious note, I will say this again, great first chapter, can't wait for more
6506099 i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc12/sirkillsalotlol/hitler-takes-off-glasses-o.gif
(almost done with next chapter)
6506105 derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/12/1/775539__safe_rainbow+dash_pinkie+pie_meme_animated_upvotes+galore_happy_reaction+image_cropped_artist-colon-drawponies.gif
(This is exciting!)
6506110 The Illogic aims to please, and so do I!
6506131
33.media.tumblr.com/06cdcf5cbf141c01e6e926ab4588c755/tumblr_navzwsvEMm1rdr926o1_400.gif
(My brain is ready for the sweet illogical pandemonium!)
Well, female reindeer usually DO have antlers.
Well that's definitely a unique way to begin a story.
Sorry you didn't read my mind it's impossible to read trust me people have tried
I read "Oh deer God no." the first time! This story clearly has an influence on me.
The second story where I read that the protagonist turned X undergoes a birth. It is an interesting concept to start this age at the very beginning.
I better keep reading.
I just want to go back to this chapter then play this.
Hail the new born king!
The king is born.
Oh, if you think that's bad then you'd love it here.
I think you should check if they are FLAME-boyant.
*loud boos all around*
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
and there it is! Phew. I was starting to think you were going all sane n me for a second there.
You mean like this:
https://youtu.be/h0iWJDx66Mc
Boy Angioseps, has quite the ego oin himself, don't he?
Jawohl, Fuhreer Anglosacs. We will exterminate ze lesser kind. Hail Angalamadingdong
Oh yeah. What's gonna happen in the next Darkrim chapter? Hmmm
Okay, first chapter, so far so good. You have established the characters very nicely and Gregary is quite interesting. Judging by the fact that he has quite the wide understanding of the 'real world' I would assume he is like a reincarnation of someone else (or something like that). The Angputyourowncleversuffixhere seems like a really strict king. Like the type that wants to RULE THE WORLD!
(obvious meme missing)
All in all, I am intrigued. Can't wait to read more. It really has that Psycho strange feel (you're one of the rare writers that CAN write a BIRTH from babay's perspective).
You can read my mind? You poor fucker.
1) Prove it, 2) Are you going to ask the Queen of England "what's with you thinking you're a queen?"
7425057 You can't prove a negative; prove your God/gods exist, then we'll consider your religion.
7425057
1)anything in possible in Equestria,but he doesn't know. 2) I kinda see what u mean...
I CAN READ YOUR MINDS.
The fact that you aren't currently in a mental hospital babbling incoherantly proves that you haven't read my mind.
I'ma just gonna leave this here . . . *Skitters away Whoop whooping*
rule 1 of new universes: reincarnation is a bitch
10860474
He's not really reincarnated as his actual body is only in an artificial coma.
Holy Shit... Thats a first one. First being a Deer, also firdt being born in a Superiority Sociathy...
Shiiit...