Kitty and Razor
Fluttershy stretched and yawned as the spring sun shone through her open bedroom window, casting a warm glow across her smooth butter-yellow face. She beamed as she sat up, taking a deep breath of fresh spring air, damp with dew and the smell of grass and flowers. "Good morning, Angel!" she sang to the rabbit curled up in the basket next to her bed. She turned to address the field mouse nibbling sunflower seeds on her desk and the hummingbird pecking at a seed bell that hung in the open window. "Good morning, Mr. Nibbles! Oh, good morning, Ms. Tweets!" She slid her bare feet over the edge of the bed, wriggling her toes. "How are you all today, my wonderful animal friends?"
A loud yowl from the bedroom next door was her answer, followed by a string of foul language that made Fluttershy cringe and cover her ears.
Fluttershy's door slammed open, and an irate Aria Blaze stood in the door frame. Her hair was tangled, her eyes were bloodshot, and she wore a light, loose green tank top and a ratty pair of denim shorts. In one hand, she held a hissing, spitting cat by the scruff of the neck. "One last time, Flutterbutter, keep your mangy hairballs out of my face!"
"Oh, but Mr. Fuzzy-Wuzzums just wanted to say good morning to you!" Fluttershy protested meekly. "And, um, it's Fluttershy."
"Whatever!" Aria snarled. "The next time I wake up with your nasty pussy in my face, I'm setting fire to it!"
"The things I hear in this house in the morning," Fluttershy's father said from behind Aria. "Now, Fluttershy, I don't mind if you want to pursue an...alternative lifestyle? But—"
"GAH! Dad! NO!" Fluttershy yelped, face flaming. "ARIA!"
Aria snickered. "Okay, the whole thing with the stupid cat was worth it just for that." Tossing Mr. Fuzzy-Wuzzums into the room, Aria turned and padded back to her room.
A second later, she reappeared. "Oh, and by the way? I call first dibs on the shower," she said.
"You always do," Fluttershy huffed as the door closed behind Aria. "Oh, are you okay Mr. Fuzzy-Wuzzums? Oh, just...please, don't...OUCH! Mr. Fuzzy-Wuzzums! I am NOT a scratching post!"
Two weeks earlier...
Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk sat in front of a desk, behind which sat a middle-aged woman in a black robe with a severe but concerned expression. On either side of the three girls sat Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna. A bailiff stood by the door, and behind the three girls stood a young, ivory-skinned man in a navy blue police uniform, his shaggy electric blue hair sticking out at odd angles from under his cap.
"Well then," the judge said. "You young ladies are in quite a bit of trouble." She peered at them over her half-moon spectacles. "I wanted to discuss this situation in my chambers instead of in a hearing because of the...unusual circumstances." She glanced at Celestia, her lips pressed into a thin frown. "Honestly, if Celestia and I weren't such close friends, I would never have believed a word of any of this."
"I've learned in the last several months that there are some very strange things in this world that science and logic just don't explain," Celestia said. "Heck, I have a girl attending my school who, as I understand it, isn't even human."
"Hmm," the judge said. "Yes, I've been meaning to ask about that Sunset Shimmer girl..."
"Please don't," Celestia said imploringly. "She's...she's in a better place now. With friends. She's a good girl. I don't want to see her end up in here."
The judge frowned thoughtfully, then shrugged. "For you? Fine. But you owe me." She returned her attention to the Sirens. "Now, as for you three. As I understand the situation, you've been exiled from your country of birth, with no possibility of return. You've been living here among us under false pretenses, using a form of mind control to get by." Her nose wrinkled. "I'll admit I prefer that, as strange as it is, to the prostitution cases I usually get in a situation like this." She coughed. "Now that you've lost your mind control abilities, your situation has changed."
"Yeah, we got kicked out of our home," Sonata said. "We barely even got to take any of our stuff with us!"
"We're being sued by like, a whole lot of people," Aria complained. "And the bank froze our accounts."
"And then this jerk hauled us in like common criminals," Adagio said, jerking a thumb at the cop standing behind her. "Just because we decided to help ourselves to something to eat..."
"You were shoplifting," the officer said.
"Thank you, Officer Armor," the judge said. "The court is aware of the charges against these girls. All of the charges." She shuffled papers in a folder on her desk. "What exactly is it you want me to do here, Celestia? I mean, by law, these girls should either go into the system or, more likely, to juvenile detention."
"I don't WANNA go to jail!" Sonata wailed, clutching her balled-up fists beneath her chin. "They DO stuff to you in jail! BUTT STUFF!!"
Everyone stared at her.
"She watches a lot of TV," Aria said, rolling her eyes.
"If you sent these three to juvy, they'd be running a girl gang by the end of the first week," Luna said.
"Damn right I would," Adagio said, buffing her nails on her shirt.
"I don't see an orphanage as a viable alternative either," the judge said with a frown.
Celestia made a pained face. "I had hoped to offer a more...unconventional method of rehabilitating these girls."
The judge leaned forward. "Explain."
"Well, you see..." Celestia hesitated. "There's a group of girls at my school. The Rainbooms—well, that's what we call them ever since they started their own band."
Adagio's eyes widened. "Oh no."
"The five main members were instrumental in rehabilitating Sunset Shimmer after the Fall Formal incident."
"Oh please God no."
"I was thinking, perhaps if we were to place each of the Sirens in the care of a different member of the Rainbooms, and let them guide these girls..."
"JAIL! JAIL! I WANT JAIL!" Adagio screamed, shooting out of her chair. "LOVELY, STONE-WALLED, LOCKED-CELLS, COCKROACHES-ON-THE-FOOD JAIL!"
Everyone paused and stared at her as her chest heaved.
The judge smiled. "Celestia? I think I can work with that..."
* * * * *
Fluttershy hummed to herself as she padded barefoot down the hall to the bathroom. The humid air and slightly corn-chippy smell told her Aria was finished. She stepped in, turning on the ventilation fan, and slipped off her bathrobe, hanging it on the hook on the door. She pulled back the shower curtain, grimacing at the thin layer of grime on the shower floor. With a sigh, she raised a foot to step in...
Then frowned at her leg. "Maybe I need a quick shave," she said to herself.
She opened the medicine cabinet and paused, frowning. Her razor wasn't where she'd left it last. She reached for it, lifted it up, and yelped as she found a coarse purple hair sticking out from between the blades.
"Oh, she didn't," Fluttershy hissed, narrowing her eyes. With a disgusted sigh, she put her razor back, opened the cabinet under the sink, grabbed the bag of disposables, pulled out her shave gel, and went to work on her legs.
After her shower, a freshly-scrubbed Fluttershy with tiny round band-aids stuck to several nicks on her legs arrived at the breakfast table, not completely dressed for school yet, and sat down at her place. She cleared her throat to get the attention of Aria, who was reading a comic book on the other side of the table. "Excuse me, Aria?"
"Yeah?" Aria replied disinterestedly, not bothering to look up. Fluttershy's dad reached for his coffee, face hidden behind the morning paper.
"Why did you use my razor to shave your—" Fluttershy faltered slightly. "Umm, bikini area?"
A stream of coffee flew across the table.
Aria shrugged. "Mine sucks. I like yours better."
"But it's my razor," Fluttershy said. "That I use—well, USED to use—to shave my legs. Do you have any idea how disgusting it is to find another girl's no-no hair in your razor?"
Fluttershy's dad made a "gaaah" noise from behind the paper.
Aria smirked. "'No-no hair'? Seriously? Are you five?"
"Aria! I'm serious! You can't just go around using my stuff like that!"
Aria raised an eyebrow. "But isn't that part of the whole magic of friendship thing?" She made air quotes. "Sharing and all that?"
"Sharing is very important, yes, but not my razor! Not when you have your OWN razor, and definitely not when you use it to shave YOUR pub—"
"BREAKFAST!" Fluttershy's mom sang rather loudly, scurrying up to the table and laying out plates. "Aria, how about after school, we pick you up a NEW razor? One that you maybe like better? And Fluttershy dear, I'll pick you up one too, of course."
"Thank you, Mom," Fluttershy said primly.
* * * * *
"She makes me so mad I could just...I could just scream!" Fluttershy took a deep breath and...let out a tiny squeak barely louder than a mouse.
The Rainbooms sat at their usual table, eating lunch together. Sonata sat with them, next to Pinkie Pie; ever since the sentencing, the two had quickly become fast friends. Rainbow Dash often complained that having Sonata around was like having a second Pinkie Pie. Adagio and Aria stayed away from the Rainbooms at school as much as possible. Adagio had struck up a narcissism-based friendship with Trixie, and Aria tended to hang out with the punk kids.
Rarity patted Fluttershy's hand sympathetically. "Now, darling, you simply must calm yourself! You are the kindest, most patient person I know. If anyone—"
"Aria's a lost cause," Sonata said cheerfully, scraping the sides of her pudding cup. "I should know, I had to put up with her for a really long time."
"Shucks, Ah bet Fluttershy'll turn her right around inside of a month," Applejack said, swinging a fist.
"It can't possibly be worse than living with Adagio," Sunset said. "The landlord's getting sick and tired of me calling him up to pull hair clogs out of the drain. I'm seriously tempted to shave her bald in her sleep."
"That won't work," Sonata said. "Adagio's hair can't be cut by any known blade, razor, shaver, or clipper."
Sunset stared at her. "You're kidding."
"Her hair ate three stylists last year," Sonata said with a wide grin.
"Oh my," Fluttershy said, eyes wide. She shook her head. "Anyway, it's...it's not just the razor thing, although that was disgusting. It's just...she's determined to try to make me angry, and she isn't even trying to be nice." She glanced at Sonata. "How did you ever put up with her?"
Sonata shrugged. "Constantly insulting each other, hair-pulling catfights...oh! One time, I took this aluminum baseball bat, and clobbered her SO HARD she didn't wake up for a week!"
Everyone, even Pinkie Pie, edged away from Sonata.
"I'll...um...take that baseball bat thing under advisement," Fluttershy said.
Sonata giggled. "Yeah...good times. Good times."
"Man, am I glad I didn't get stuck with one of those crazy girls," Rainbow said, shaking her head.
"Look, Fluttershy," Sonata said seriously, leaning forward. "The one thing about Aria is, you can't let her walk all over you. And, don't take this the wrong way? But you're kind of a doormat."
"She is NOT!" Rarity said. She paused, then added, "Well...not all the time."
"I know they stuck her with you because she's the meanest of us and you're the nicest of the Rainbooms," Sonata said. "But with Aria, you gotta push back. Seriously. She crossed a line, right?" She grinned. "Get even."
Fluttershy gasped. "I...I don't know if I could ever do something like that..."
"If you don't, there's no telling where you'll end up finding her pubes next, or which of your animals she might do something nasty to."
Fluttershy's eyebrows drew together. "Hmm..."
* * * * *
When Aria returned from school after detention and shopping, she found Fluttershy sitting at the kitchen table with a large, delicious-looking ice cream sundae in front of her, covered in gooey chocolate sauce and whipped cream. She licked her lips and grinned.
Fluttershy was just about to spoon up some of the creamy chocolatey goodness when Aria swooped in and plucked up the sundae. "Thanks, I was starving," Aria said.
"Aria! That's MINE!" Fluttershy said.
"Eh, make yourself another," Aria said. She dug the spoon in, spooned up a heaping amount of ice cream, syrup, and whipped cream, and slowly shoveled it into her mouth, her eyes fixed on Fluttershy's pouting face the whole while...
Suddenly, Aria's eyes went wide in surprise.
The sundae clattered to the table, the spoon ringing against the edge of the bowl.
Aria started to cough and wheeze. "Hot, hot, hoHAAAAAAH...ack...grgle..."
"Too spicy?" Fluttershy asked. She reached under the table and pulled out a bottle labeled "Dirty Bastard Sauce". "I only added a couple of tablespoons of this."
"YOU LITTLE gaaaah...grk...hrgle...what..."
For almost a minute, Aria coughed, hacked, and wheezed, before spewing a thick, disgusting hairball onto the kitchen table.
"Oh, THAT'S where that went!" Fluttershy said cheerfully.
Aria glared at her, then stomped off to her room, slamming the door.
With a smile, Fluttershy cleaned up the table, disposed of the trap sundae, and made herself a real one, whistling a happy little tune.
* * * * *
After dinner, Aria was lying in bed listening to angry punk rock and reading a magazine when Fluttershy walked in, carrying a bowl, a spoon, and a napkin. She glared up at her, rolled her eyes in disgust, then went back to her magazine.
Fluttershy reached out and plucked Aria's headphones off. "HEY!" Aria snarled.
"Here, this is for you," Fluttershy said, offering her the bowl and a smile. Aria frowned and looked inside. It was chocolate ice cream. "It isn't poisoned, there's no hot sauce or hairballs. It's just plain ice cream." Fluttershy smiled encouragingly. "To apologize for earlier. What I did to you was pretty mean."
Aria scowled, but accepted the bowl. She dipped the spoon in and took a tentative test bite. After nothing bad happened, she took another. "No chocolate syrup or whipped cream?" she asked.
"No, just plain ice cream," Fluttershy said. "Good girls get sundaes. You're not there yet. Not by a long shot."
Aria snorted. "So how much trouble did you get in wasting so much ice cream on that bullshit prank?"
"Oh, none at all," Fluttershy said. "That was my own personal ice cream I bought with my own pet-sitting money. It's mine to eat, share, or waste as I please."
Aria stopped eating and frowned. "You wasted ice cream you bought with your own money just to mess with me?"
"Let that be a lesson to you," Fluttershy said. She motioned to the ice cream in the bowl. "And this came from my own personal ice cream too. Friends do share, you know. Just...not razors and toothbrushes and things like that."
Aria ate some more ice cream, then looked up with a frown. "Why do you spend your own money on ice cream?" she asked. "Couldn't you just ask your mom and dad?"
"Oh, I could," Fluttershy said, "but I prefer to buy it myself, because I like the expensive kind. You see, I...I need my ice cream sundae every afternoon. It's kind of my thing, you know? Every day after school, I come home, I feed and water my animals, and I make myself one ice cream sundae. I've been doing that since I don't know how long." She paused. "I think...I started doing that right after Sunset Shimmer showed up at school. Back then, when she was a bully and, well..." Fluttershy trailed off. "That ice cream sundae was what I looked forward to every day. It was the one thing that was all for me, the one thing nobody could take away from me."
Aria paused. "And I tried to take it away from you," she said.
"And where did that get you?" Fluttershy asked with a smile.
Aria rolled her eyes and snorted. "I won't touch your ice cream without asking anymore," she said.
"Thank you." Fluttershy turned to leave.
Aria watched her, then finished the ice cream, shaking her head.
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Oh my...
Fluttershy getting even is amazing.
Five hours before getting approved? That has to be a new record. (I put it in my tracking library when you gave everyone a sneak-peak. I like it.)
6355810 I feel if any story ever got approved after one minute, that would be an all-time record (never gonna happen though).
Holy god this is gonna be amazing.
AND IT HAS BEGUN!
This isn't a clop fic is it? I don't really read that stuff but the rest of the plot seems interesting enough.
Woo! Its here!
I'm excited!
They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but in this case I think it was better served flaming hot. 41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxuyq4hERJ1r3k1m8o1_500.png
Let the war begin
And it begins. Let's see where this goes, though I think we all have a pretty good idea of the options...
6355828 the combination of Sex tag and Teen tag denotes otherwise. If it had actual depictions of sexual acts, it would be Mature.
Faved.
How interesting. This Fluttershy is becoming my favorite one, though I wouldn't have thought she'd be so forward. But I'm not complaining! Show her who's boss, Fluttershy!
6355799 I've seen it take longer, but yeah. The approve queue was moving pretty slowly yesterday.
6355828 If it were, it'd be rated Mature.
6356126 I've noticed that the Equestria Girls Fluttershy is overall more assertive than the pony Fluttershy, and has a distinctive bitchy streak. Her claws come out more in two movies than her counterpart's did in four seasons.
6356247
Hmm, now that I think about it, they might have tried to correct the mistake of keeping Fluttershy's character so complacent over the seasons by making Fluttershy from Equestria Girls more assertive. Who knows. Either way, I think I can agree with you.
That line right there automatically makes me put this in my favorites.
6356247 When the pony version of Fluttershy DOES get mad though, things go south. And the fact that it only happens occasionally makes that even scarier.
If I had to choose one to deal with, I'd rather take her Equestria Girls counterpart.
6356259 If you look too deeply into it (as bronies are wont to do), it could be a combination of her age and different hormonal makeup compared to her pony counterpart. Not to put too fine a point on it, EG Fluttershy is younger and has a human reproductive cycle, with all the hormonal and emotional baggage that brings. Even the nicest, most polite girl on the planet can have her moments, and it isn't always her fault. (Nor is it necessarily biology. She could really just have a slightly different temperament.)
Biology and hormones or not, though, she IS younger than her pony counterpart, and that accounts for a LOT.
6356270 Agreed. EG Fluttershy's mood swings are relatively subtle and benign compared to her pony counterpart.
6356308 Although, now I wonder which of them would actually win in a fight...
That would definitely make for an interesting scene.
6356312 I don't think they'd fight, because EG Fluttershy would be too busy squeeing and brushing pony Fluttershy's mane, and pony Fluttershy would be too busy enjoying being the pet for a change.
6356315 Yeah, probably.
If any pairs were to fight it would most likely be the Rainbow Dash's, and even then it probably wouldn't go too far.
Oh, goodie, a bit of sociopathic comedy. Funny up to a point, toxic afterwards, imo. Will just have to see where this goes, I guess.
EDIT: In light of the new ending to the chapter... Wow, that was actually kind of touching, Fluttershy's little sentiment with using sundaes to cope with the old Sunset, how they probably found new foundation when Aria showed up. I wish to redouble my See Where This Goes statement.
6356247
That's why I didn't pass up the fic, thanks for clarifying.
6355826 *Begun. It has begun.
Why would Adagi hang out with Trixie?
6356701 That was a shout-out to Justice4243's The Dazzlings Are Insane.
6356898
Hmm okay. Trixie just doesn't have that "control" behavior, unlike Adagio or old Sunset. And honestly, she was rather dumb in Rainbow Rocks. So only way I see Adagio being around Trixie - only to use her for something.
6356922 As it says in-story, it's a narcissism-based friendship.
6356938 Not sure what exactly it means, but Adagio should think about Trixie as someone pathetic. Seriously, you are an illusionist in a school that has real magic. On my scale of miserability that will be "pretty pathetic", and I'm sure on Adagio's too.
6356994
Adagio is narcissistic. Trixie is narcissistic. The joke is they have this in common and bonded over it.
6357002
No, I undertand what termin means. But they are narcissistics for different reasons. Trixie think that she is better than others because thinks that she is better and talented than everyone else, which is not true. Adagio thinks she is better because she is smarter than most people and could manipulate them, which is, well, rather true. Trixie's level is somewhere around Aria's, and I don't see why would Adagio should be interested in her. In that way, I rather see Adagio hang out with Sunset, despite hating her :|
alright, that was pretty friggin' hysterical. Fluttershy's dad really pushed it over the top.
I'm glad you acknowledged Sunset's equally-illegitimate situation, and brusquely cast it aside - more room for fun! I absolute loved that scene, and burst out laughing at least twice. That Adagio saw it coming was literally breathtaking.
Then Sonata... "Everyone, even Pinkie Pie, edged away from Sonata."
6357028 Could wanting to see Adagio hang out with Sunset be because you ship them together ultra hard?
6357682 Got me.
6358121 Judge Mint.
No, the judge is nobody. She's a blank character. There for one scene, we'll never see her again.
OH MY GOD, the revenge is too sweet...or spicy as it were
But something tells me this isn't going to work out in Flutter's favor so quickly. Though I wonder if she'll ever bust out...The Stare
So yeah, already loving this. I'm hooked.
Oh also, I really love the baseball bat thing with Sonata. Just so matter-of-fact about it. Though I guess the context being they were immortal and supernatural at the time? Not sure I'd advocate that now
6357885 I admit, you raise a good point. I thought about it after I left the house for a bit and have to agree. I'd expect Adagio to want to hang out with someone like Trixie because Trixie herself is so prone to antagonistic behavior toward the Rainbooms (but looking in from the Rainbooms' perspective, their shared narcissism is a good-enough write-off reason).
I read the beginning and died laughing.
Nice job...
6357028
Really? Adaggio seems pretty pathetic in convincing people without her jewel.
6361612 We've never seen her convice people without her jewel, therefore we don't know how good she is without it. She seemed to at least be capable of getting Aria and Sonata to co-operate, most of the time.
Yeah season 5 fluttershy
6361612
Have you seen her doing it without gem? Where? Sunset doesn't count obviliosly, because she is just as smart\strong as Adagio.
So, if Fluttershy didn't shave, would her legs turn pink, or just a more fuzzy yellow? Given the weirdness of technicolor humanoid biology, either possibility seems likely.
In either case, quite enjoyable thus far. Fluttershy's passive aggression should make this incredibly enjoyable to watch. Also, descriptions of Fluttershy's parents would be nice.
Ok, the sundae thing was amazing. Maybe a tad bold for Fluttershy, but I'm not complaining!
Some of it is a tad crude for my tastes, but I saw the tags, and read anyway, so it's fair enough.
Overall, a story I'll be keeping tabs on for sure!
Is anyone else wondering how Fluttershy eats a fancy ice-cream sundae every day and is thin as a rail?
6358526 this had at your nasty pussy.
"JAIL! JAIL! I WANT JAIL!" Adagio screamed, shooting out of her chair. "LOVELY, STONE-WALLED, LOCKED-CELLS, COCKROACHES-ON-THE-FOOD JAIL!"
That right there made me laugh, not gut busting laugh but laugh none the less. I also have to admit the (cough) "shaving" part did surprise me, I mean I figured it would be used to shave her own legs or something but not.....that. I give you kudos for originality on that area and it makes the contrast and conflict between the two quite enjoyable.
I also liked the second chapter, though it was pretty hard to read and even worse when you learn there are actually people out there who are really like that, well Matthew Mcconaughey said it best as "pistol whipping a blind kid."
Jokes aside I did enjoy this story and I'm really hoping you'll do one to show the other sirens living accommodations.
Overall this was an enjoyable story and I hope to see more of it
OH WHAT A FIC WHAT A LOVELY FIC
6370423 Clearly, she works off the pounds by walking dogs.
I don't know what I expected.
I was thinking "Vinyl has a brother?!" before I realized it's Shining. Those two ponies really are pretty similar.