Fair warnings had been given not to try Luna�s patience. But after Celestia and her army had trespassed on her land, laid waste to her outer villages and threatened forceful take-over should she not comply, Luna and her people could no longer look the other way. She needed to defend her people from the tyranny that came with Celestia�s reign. She needed to remind her that the world was not hers for the taking, and that her people would not bow to one that they themselves have sworn no allegiance to of their own free will.
(Gore rating just in case) Also... before you 'dislike' the story because it's human form, wait until the end when it's explained...
Chapters (2)
Well, this is interesting!
I don't quite understand the back story to this, though. Also, try separating your dialog into paragraphs. It makes it much easier on the eyes.
There were a few other grammatical errors, but nothing too major.
Otherwise, good job! This could be an interesting story!
638384 Yeah, the dialog WAS separated, but the site screwed it all over when I transferred it. But I appreciate that you enjoyed it thus far, really helps to know
638423 it good but its a wall i had a hard time reading it
get some spacing in there makes it easer to read
1023265 Fixed
1023468 much better