Chapter 3: Fire-Watch
-3-
Speed hummed aloud to himself as he jabbed several poles in the ground as accurately as possible. He did his best to match what everyone else was doing as he didn't really know how to make his hooch. He didn't really know how to make one, but he knew what a hooch was. A hooch is a makeshift shelter. Eventually, after Bullet realized that he didn't actually know how to make a hooch, Speed's duties passed on to laying the cloth over the top of the skeleton of his temporary house.
The, what the other ponies called, 'Camp Site' was in the middle of a forest. It was in a slight clearing off the beaten path and well out of sight. The officers had a way of keeping the camp safe to talk in until the quiet alarm was sounded. The higher up officers ordered a guard rotation called Fire-watch, which rotated around the hooches. Speed was in the fourth hooch away from the planning one so his tents inhabitants must be the fourth to be out on guard, and when it was his turn it was nearly midnight.
At about the time they had just finished there hooch they were, much to there displease put on guard. This gave them some 'quality time' to spend together and maybe even get to know Bullet or Cloud. Cloud Kicker looked the most annoyed about the fact of fire-watch out of the three of them, and this was a surprise to both Bullet and Speed. No one had ever really seen Cloud angry yet, not even the people he knew well most. Yes they saw him sick, sad and concerned but never actually angry and this anger... you could see the fury in his eyes.
They, eventually, for what seemed like an eternity got to the road side. they all positioned themselves behind a small mound that separated the road from the forest. They slightly poked their guns and bowl shaped helmets above the mound peeking for any sign of activity. After a quick peek Cloud Kicker slammed his rifle in the dirt beneath him.
"Nothing," said Cloud Kicker nearly beginning to shout "Of course there's bucking nothing,"
"What's with you?" Speed asked hoping that Cloud wouldn't shout,
"Why are we guarding here? Bullet, Speed? No?" He questioned beginning to start sounding insane, "There's no reason, is there?"
"There's no point, not in the slightest, we're miles behind our lines under great defense and we have to guard our bucking camp in the middle of the woods!" He ranted
"I never knew you didn't like orders, everyone likes orders," Bullet said as sarcastically as he possibly could,
"I may be an officer Bullet but i hate these orders just the same, not all officers love orders," He snarled back.
Sure they don't speed thunk to himself.
"Urm.. can we not argue i don't wan't to sleep in the same hooch as two angry idiots," Speed said only mildly irritated by it.
Before they knew it their shift was over and they returned to their hooch to sleep. Before speed fell asleep he wanted to know the time. Out of his pack he pulled out a pocket watch. It was a very old watch, passed down the family from his great great grandfather who originally owned it. He checked the time 2'O'clock. Speed drifted off into his dreamland with the watch clutched tightly in his hand.
The next day after he was awoken quite suddenly by the bugle player sounding off right outside his hooch. Speed dropped the pocket watch out of sheer fright and the watch nearly smashed there and then. The watch landed face up and he could see it the time.
"Bucking six in the morning!" Speed announced before anyone else had a chance to say anything. Today they all grumbled at this.
"What was the point of guarding the camp if we were gonna do that?" Cloud mumbled as he stepped out of the tent shrugging his coat on.
After breakfast, the usual porridge or gruel sort of stuff they were told to get into a squad in the middle of all the tents for an announcement. Speed and Bullet were in the mid-front of the squad meanwhile Cloud rather sleepily commanded it.
"Everypony," Announced one of the higher officers, "I know that you have had a rough night and early day today," He paused for a moment,
Sure you do Speed thought
"But today," The officer boomed on, " we move on to Apple Loosa."
-3-
Thanks for reading
Please Criticize, within reason.
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6000134 Just commenting on a few things (story looks interesting):
A: Well, here's not pointing anything out, just I salute you and your family for protecting this country.
B: 1: Maybe Equestria's military terms are different?
2: Wow. And I think my 1-hour normal school classes are bad enough.
And no offense to the military or anything, but hooch is a wee bit of a silly word. As I said, no offense.
3: "My cousin's out fighting dragons, and what do I get? Guard duty."
4: Even with my limited knowledge of the military, I know that's true.
5: War is just a game that we, as humans, are stupid enough to play.
6: Like I said, different world, different customs.
6000306
...Okay, add that one to the list of things I wish I never heard.
Makes sense. After all, we won against the British during the Revolution; at that time, Great Britain was the most powerful country on the planet. And besides, that statement is true; the only war we "lost" was Vietnam. Even so, we withdrew, so it wasn't a loss loss, but just a mission failure.
A.) Summarize the definition of firewatch. Is it scouting or something along those lines?
B.) Yeah, if you went up to an Equestrian soldier and asked them about the U.S. military, they'd probably say, " What's the United States?"
A.) What. The Hell. Are pink fluffy caterpillars?
Oh my God...
B.)
Seriously, I'm a huge American patriot. I would literally march right into North Korea, Pakistan, Iran, etc. right now, and scream that I love being an American. I don't care if I would be shot or jailed; I am from America.
6000621 A.) Like I said, I ain't in the military (Hell, I don't have the mental or physical prep, nor am I of drafting age.), nor do I plan to be. That's actually very dutiful.
B.) Okay... So, those caterpillars f
ck around with your head or something?
Meh, I can't stand insects anyway.
Where is your FOB, anyway? Middle East? What country?
6000405 Where is it? I'm in my own little world - as usual - and i say to myself, i say "What if, ok , Equestria is an island? Ok. so in my alternate universe where ponies Rule the world!, They rule Earth.
yep, bet no one saw that coming. Also thanks for commenting 
6002802 Royal Navy
6000134 Also, i shall fix the 'hooches' and 'fire-watch' but i do realize training in this greater modern era includes much much more, but in Our 1914-1918, in Britain at least, the training was a short course consisting of not much, but a lot of not much. I have family members - clearly dead - who fought in this war, I have a very military family - as you do also thank you for commenting!
6003468 Yes, indeed so, but who knows whats beyond that? I certainly don't! Also when i said Royal Navy, i meant i'm in Her Majesty's Royal Navy - you know the one from England -
6003517 No, that's not what i mean
I am part of the navy.
6003517 Also so true, land boats are awesome!
I'm going to be honest... I'm more confused then anything.
So.. first chapter... He decides he needs money, so he goes to sign up. Talks with a receptionist.
....What happened after that? I'm really not sure. Did he... get signed up? What? What happened?!
I really don't know what is going on, and I think that is your problem. The beginning seemed well, hardly having errors and also leading into the story. But after the receptionist, I have absolutely no clue what happened.
And to be honest, I was skimming it, but even then I should be able to grasp what happened. I don't know what's going on... this story is unclear and boggling...
There's not enough depth into it is what I'm saying. It's all happening so fast that I'm unable to comprehend it. Did he get into the army? I dunno, it's unclear.
Also, I'm not an army expert, but if he is in the army, didn't he have to go through some sort of training exercise first? Or at least an examination? I saw nothing of that sort.
Other than the unclear format of the story, the grammar and spelling is decent, for the most part. Several noticeable mistakes, but not everywhere in some stories I've seen.
Overall, I feel like this story has the potential to be good, but isn't for the way its executed. It goes too fast to understand what happens.
What I suggest is that you spend a little more time to give it more depth. Explain what needs to be explained, give solid conversations, and overall, think it through. If you just go through with something as you go, nothing will turn out well.