• Published 2nd Feb 2015
  • 16,294 Views, 1,159 Comments

Clueless in Equestria - David Silver



A middle aged human ends up in Equestria dropped in the middle of nowhere. He wanders into town and quickly discovers pony folk are kind folk. Maybe there's a life to be made here.

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3 - My Creation

David was becoming bored of looking at the ceiling and deprived of his usual electronic means of distraction. The bed still being short was the final straw, and David soon stood back up and began pacing. He noticed that the bed that had been occupied was no longer so. All of the beds beside the one he had slept in were neatly made for the next patient. He spotted a bookcase and he wandered over and ran his finger along the spines while reading. To his relief, the words appeared to be understandable enough. He silently thanked the fates that the English writing of the show translated over.

Most of the books were at least tangentially medical in nature and dry reading, at least as far as the average pony was concerned. David plucked one up about unicorns and parked his butt on the edge of the bed, starting to read about maladies that could afflict a unicorn. He hoped he could learn more about how their magic worked, if only through the many ways it could go wrong. As it turns out, unicorn biology was much more complicated than he would have given credit for at a glance.

"Interesting choice," came the familiar voice of Patch up. "Plan on an exciting career in medicine?"

David looked up from his book, "Huh? Nah, just reading."

She rolled her eyes, "I couldn't pay most the ponies in this town to read through that, and you're doing it for fun?"

David shrugged a little, "Just curious, uh, Patch right?"

"You forgot already?" she asked, "Yes, that's my name. Patch Up." The book David was holding wrapped in the green magic as Patch lifted it from him, "And you are going to take a nap."

"I'm a little old to get that order," protested David, "I mean, thanks for everything, but I'm not tired."

She raised a furry brow at him, "You're not tired? You should be achy all over from that."

David gave a 'huh', "I thought that was from hiking for almost two days straight."

Patch nodded hesitantly, "And that's not enough to sit down?"

"I am sitting," he pointed out, "But I'm not tired."

Patch approached and reached up a hoof to poke a dangling green thing at his belt. "Is that your job?"

David looked down at it. Hanging from his keychain, besides a key, was a green bit of plastic that read 'Ponyfinder'.

"What sort of ponies do you find?" asked Patch with a hint of dubiousness, "Are you a bounty hunter?"

David shook his head, "Nothing like that, really! It's just a thing I made."

"A thing?" she asked.

He thought of how to explain it. "It's a game," he started. "Have you ever heard of roleplaying games?"

She nodded hesitantly, "Not my kind of thing. The little ones play pretend all the time."

He shrugged at that, growing slightly embarrassed, "Well, where I came from, adults do too. Ponyfinder is a game about pretending to be a pony and going on adventures."

She stared at him a moment before snickering laughter escaped her, "Celestia save me! Now I'm picturing a whole herd of you... humans? on all fours like a bunch of foals playing make believe."

David went quiet, embarrassed into silence. He would think of a thousand witty comebacks later, but for the moment, he just wallowed in his shame. "Uh, it was... kind of popular."

"I bet it was," came Patch with her amused smile still worn, "You're a curious pony, David. Do you have a second name?"

"Silver," replied David.

Patch brightened at the news, "There's a proper name. What is a 'David' anyway?"

Sinking deeper into shame, David replied, "An old king, back where I'm from. Also means beloved."

"Huh," said Patch, "beloved silver. I can work with that. Do you work with silver?"

He shook his head, "Nah, I made games. I'm a writer."

She seemed to consider this a moment, "Never played a game that needed a lot of writing. Well, I can't force you to sleep, but take it easy, OK?" She trotted off with a soft whistle as she retreated into her office and closed the door behind herself. David glanced at her retreating rump. Her swaying straight haired tail seemed to cover most of the objectionable bits. He noticed a lighter shade of orange ran down the middle of the otherwise red tail.

With her gone, he stood up. He was still barefooted as the cold floor made clear. He got down slowly onto all fours and peeked under the bed, finding the shoes and socks peeking out at him. He reached underneath and grabbed hold before he hefted himself back to a seated position and starting to get dressed again. Feet covered, he moved for the door. Deciding to err on the side of caution, he opened it slowly but surely, resisting the urge to toss it open or act like he had something to hide.

The small town had mares and stallions moving about. Most seemed to have clear destinations, but a few were parked beside the road, sharing idle conversation. Most of the ponies came up to his midsection while on all fours, though he imagined they would be at least as tall as he was if they reared up onto hindlegs. David felt a sense of wonder at this place. It was as fantastic as he'd hoped, and yet, mundane. These ponies were clearly not enraptured by their own lives.

Most of them didn't seem to pay him much mind, aside from the occasional glance at him before returning to what they were doing. Suddenly David was slapped on the shoulder. He went rigid even as he jumped, body protesting at the shock of it.

"Woah there, partner," came the familiar voice of Wet Hoof. "I didn't mean to surprise you." He fell back to all fours from where he had been standing. "I just saw you there taking in the sights and thought I'd come say hello."

David looked over the pony and the name came to him thankfully easily, "Damp hooves?"

Wet snorted, "Close. Wet Hoof. Good to see you up and around. I was starting to think you were going to stay down."

"Huh?" replied David, "It isn't the day after?"

He shook his head, "Add another day."

David frowned a little, "I... I mean, I appreciate it, but how am I still, you know..." he wobbled a hand before gesturing at his clothes, "dressed?"

Wet Hoof shrugged, "Patch Up says she's treated diamond dogs, and they get real upset if they wake up without their clothes if they went to sleep with 'em, so she just put them back on you each time. Must have worked, you look alright now."

David nodded a little, "Yea, that was actually kind of cool of her to do... So... what is there to see in this town?"

"Not too much," said Wet, "But we got plenty of work. Speaking of, I should get back to it. You're not going to stop me from reaching the fishing hole this time."

David waved a hand, "Promise, but what do ponies need with fish?"

Wet shrugged softly, "Trade, fertilizer, hay, some ponies like it as delicacy, but I think that's more common in the cities. Don't know no ponies in town that buy m'fish for that."

Having answered the question, Wet gave a parting wave, and moved out towards the direction of the dangerous water hole. This left David to resume his wandering. There, parked on a stool, was a dark brown pony who was furiously scribbling with a white quill held in his snout. Without the advantage of a horn, it seemed ink was a common casualty of this pony, with splotches on his face, sides, and even the blue saddlebag he wore.

David approached this pony, becoming more certain that he knew it with every step. Just about fifteen feet away, the pony looked up at David, and stared at him with widening eyes.

"My human!" he exclaimed as the book he was writing dropped to the ground, quill fluttering after it slowly.

"Uh, my pony," replied David, suddenly nervous. The pony did not share this hesitation, rushing up and circling David quickly.

"You're just as I imagined you!" He reached up and batted the ponyfinder keychain, "Even the little details. Luna be praised, my dreams have come true." Feeling all the confidence that David had lost, the earth pony began to inspect his 'creation' intently, butting his snout and hooves all over the stunned human.

"Woah, I mean, hold on there," complained David, backing up a few steps. "I'm --"

"David," said the pony before clapping his forehooves together, "David Silver, right?"

David nodded at this, "And you're Rough Draft, right?"

Rough bobbed his head, "That's me! How did you get here? Aren't you supposed to be living in the great city of Oak Town, with all the other humans?"

"Oakland," corrected David, "And I was, until I had a chance to visit. I thought you'd be in Everglow, not Equestria."

Rough Draft snorted, "So we're both a little off on where the other lives. I'll forgive if you forgive."

David nodded as the stallion suddenly offered a hoof. He took the hoof and gave it a light shaking. Rough Draft apparently wanted more of a shake and accelerated the motion.

David recovered his hand, then considered. Of all the ponies, his OC was the one most likely to agree. "May I?" he asked again, reaching for Rough Draft. Rough didn't object as David petted over his ears and ran fingers through his mane, "Thanks. I've wanted to pet a pony for too long."

Rough snorted out a snicker, "So long as you return the favor. Are you on an epic quest or something? Going to save the universe?"

"I hope not," said David honestly. "I'm not exactly in shape. I think you know that."

Rough shrugged, "So get in shape."

David pointed accusingly, "If you're anything like me, you're not much in shape either."

Rough Draft patted his belly with a hoof, "I could stand with one less doughnut with breakfast. But that's beside the point! My creation is standing in front of me! This has to mean something huge, it has to!"

Other ponies stared at the two of them as they talked, confused, curious, but moving along. David noticed their passing interest and asked Rough, "Do you always act... this way?"

Rough tilted his head, "What way? Excited that my creation from another universe just dropped in to say hi? Buck yea!"

David patted the friendly pony on the head, "I'm staying at the, uh, clinic, I think?" He pointed back where he came from. "Want to hang out a while? I don't want to get Patch Up worked up by staying away too long."

"You couldn't pay me to stay away," spoke Rough Draft. He quickly gathered his dropped book and quill, stuffing them into his saddlebag before hurrying after David.

Author's Note:

David runs into his pony counterpart and both are just as awkward in their own way. At least the ponies are getting more exposure to the human and haven't formed a torch squad yet. Things are looking up!

Rough Draft isn't big on editing, let me know if he left any typos scattered around.