• Published 2nd Feb 2015
  • 16,305 Views, 1,159 Comments

Clueless in Equestria - David Silver



A middle aged human ends up in Equestria dropped in the middle of nowhere. He wanders into town and quickly discovers pony folk are kind folk. Maybe there's a life to be made here.

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6 - Welcome Home

With breakfast settled, David and Rough left the tavern. "Well," said Rough. "You're not living at the clinic anymore, so I'd better show you my place." He trotted at an eager pace through the small town with 'his' human following behind him. They soon arrived at a small one story house parked at the edge of the town. It looked like it could stand a new coat of paint, the aging blue hue peeling up in many places. The room was angled slightly towards the road with tar panels on top. Rough pranced up to the door and grabbed the handle in his mouth before swinging it open, "My house is your house."

David stepped up and peeked inside. It was a mild explosion of unorganized mess. Papers were strewn about and various things appeared to have been knocked over and forgotten about. There wasn't any food laying about, and no unpleasant odors. It wasn't... dirty, just cluttered and messy. "Huh," said David. "It's like my own room expanded out into a house."

"You didn't have a house?" asked Rough, sounding surprised. "I always figured you'd have a small one like I do." He pointed at his house before entering it behind David and nudging the door shut behind.

"I live with family," explained David, "Er, lived, I guess. Hope they're doing OK."

Rough tilted his head one way and then the other, "Not sure how to check on that. Let's talk about adventure instead." He cantered off to return with a map of Equestria. He unfurled it across the dining room table and reared up, his fore hooves resting on the table as he looked the map over. "You have to want to look at everything."

David nodded at this as he stood beside Rough, "Well, I do, sort of."

"Sort of?" asked Rough.

David rolled a hand, "Just being here is pretty exciting for the moment." He reached to start petting Rough Draft behind the ear where he had discovered a sensitive spot. "It's nice having a friend that wants me around all the time."

Rough started to lean into the petting before David's words brought him to a halt. "Oh... uh..." He glanced away before looking back at David again, "You were lonely too huh? I guess that makes sense. We are two peas in a pod." Rough reared up to his full height, matching David's own and gave him a sudden hug. David froze for a moment, but soon returned the affection. It became quiet as the two awkward souls found comfort in one another before Rough gently drew back, "Ok, enough mushy stuff. Come on, adventure! I know you want some."

"Alright alright," said David as he held up a hand, "Just don't get me killed. I don't have any amazing powers or fighting skills if you're hoping for those."

Rough looked him over a moment, "About that... Uh. Promise not to be mad?"

"What should I be or not be mad about?" asked David with a slowly raised brow. "You're not turning me into a pony are you? That's cliché."

Rough blinked at that and tilted his head, "Cliché? But this isn't a story... I bet you'd look like me if we made you into a pony, but that's not what I meant."

"Uh, can you do that?" asked David curiously. "I mean, you know, fanfiction goes on and on about that kind of thing, but I didn't see any evidence that such magic existed beyond temporary things."

Rough blinked as things continued to veer off course, "I... don't rightly know. I suppose so? I'm an earth pony, magic's not really my thing." He pouted a little and sat on his haunches, "Are you upset that I'm not a unicorn?"

David's hands found Rough's cheeks and rubbed them gently as he would a dog, getting a similarly positive response, "You are adorable just the way you are. You don't need a horn. Now what were you getting at before?"

Rough's ears perked as he started, "Oh! Yea, I kind of... had Patch put a spell on you?"

"You're sounding especially unsure about that," noted David. "Did she or didn't she, and what spell? I don't feel different."

Rough shrugged, "Well, that's the thing. I asked her to make you stronger, but I don't see any difference either."

"Not that I mind the idea of being stronger," said David, "Shouldn't you have asked first? When did you even do that?"

Rough shrank in on himself, "After you went to sleep..."

David rolled his eyes and reached in to plink Rough across his lighter brown snout, "Bad pony. I'm not likely to say no, but ask first? Besides, if it does something, I'd rather be awake to feel it, good or bad."

Rough rubbed his snout with a fetlock as he looked at David curiously, "Even if it hurt?"

"I'd rather hurt and know what changed," said David defiantly. "If you're asleep during it, it's almost like you died and some other person woke up in your place."

Rough slowly blinked, "That's... heavy. Are all humans like that?"

David snorted loudly in a half chuckle, "No. I'm an oddball that way. That makes two of us, right?"

Rough's expression brightened into a smile before he turned back to the table, "I, at the least, want to bring you to a convention."

"They have conventions here?" asked David, "Wait, what do you write?"

"Humanway, an expansion on the game Ways and Travels," explained Rough Draft, "Why play as a pony when you can roleplay a humanoid like, well, a human." He pointed at David, "Or an elf or a dwarf! I made up a bunch of humanoid races to choose from."

David laughed, quickly working down to a chuckle as he shook his head, "Ah man, it's like looking into a furry mirror. Do you know what Ponyfinder is?"

Rough shook his head, "The artist added that part. I thought she was just being cute."

"It's also an expansion game," said David. "To play ponies instead of humanoids. In my world, humans and elves and things are the defaults."

Rough Draft clopped his hooves together a moment, "So, uh... wait. Does this mean you want to be me and I want to be you?"

David roughed up Rough's mane gently, "A little. If we find a unicorn that knows a temporary mind switching spell, we can give it a try. Just expect to fall over a few times. Two legs takes a while to master."

Rough Draft snorted, "As if four legs are easier!" His defiant tone was less impressive than it could be as he leaned into the petting. "Let's see you get things done without those fingers of yours. Why are you so... accepting of these ideas?"

"Which ideas?" asked David.

"Like turning into a pony. You're a human, shouldn't you want to, you know, be human?" asked Rough, leaning forward.

David shrugged, "Doesn't stop me from wanting to know what it's like. This is a world of magic. Where I came from, it was technology or bust, and we didn't have any technology quite far enough to let someone consider being a pony. So, yea, if someone offers a chance to find out, why not? So long as it's not forever."

Rough Draft shook his head with confusion, "Well I'll keep an eye out for you, but that kind of thing is major magic as far as I know. It's not like we have a princess around to cast spells for your amusement."

David rolled a hand, "There's a good question. I'm assuming everything works like I thought it would, but assumptions are dangerous. What princesses are there?"

Rough tapped his chin, "Well let's see. There's Celestia and Luna of course. Then there's Cadence, but she's up North. Oh, and Twilight Sparkle, but she's new. She's to the West."

"Luna... oh!" Suddenly a memory returned. "Awesome. I saw her in a dream. I think she helped get me to town in her own way."

Rough Draft looked a little surprised but nodded, "That's where you're most likely to see her. I wonder why she picked out your dreams to be in. Were you having a nightmare?"

David shook his head as he looked at the map of Equestria then, "Where are we on this?"

Rough Draft quickly pointed to a spot just north of the Foal Mountains, "Right here."

David pointed to the Foal Mountains, "Pretty sure I was here then, and came down the mountains to get here."

"Huh, lucky," said Rough Raft.

"Why is that?" asked David, "I saw some parasprites, but nothing too dangerous."

Rough Draft chuckled, "Dragon territory. If it had noticed you, that would probably be the end of you. You're just full of luck. That reminds me, how did you get... here." He gestured widely with his hooves, "To Equestria. You said you don't have magic, so what was it?"

David shrugged, "I don't really know. I was just taking a walk, to get healthier, and bam, big black place. Some writing in the void asked some questions and then there I was on the mountain. Not how I thought it'd go. A mystery letter or email would have worked, and a chance to grab some extra clothes would have been nice."

Rough Draft moved for the sink and soon had himself a mug of water. David watched as he used hooves and mouth together to get things done, marvelling as the earth pony balanced the mug between hooves and walked back to the table to set it down and begin sipping from it.

"I'm going to guess," said David, "That since you're a mirror of me, you don't have a girl, mare? friend."

Rough Draft shook his head, "Never got to that... I could any time."

At his defensive tone, David gently brushed the stallion's neck, "S'ok, I know the feeling. The pegasus at the tavern defended you. I think she'd be into you if you gave her a chance."

Rough Draft went dark red in his cheeks and nose, "What!? Greasy? I mean... we're friends..." He stammered and sank to his haunches, looking more lost by the moment.

"Deep breath," advised David. "Just ask her if she wants to go to a movie, or, uh, festival. You guys do festivals? If she says no, no loss, but if she says yes?"

Rough Draft slowly nodded, "A movie, a trip into the city... Yea. I know!" He pointed at Manehatten to the east along the rail way, "I'll invite her along to the convention." He shuddered and looked up at David, "You'll be my wingstallion right? Come on, help a brother out."

David nodded as he flicked one of Rough Draft's ears, "We're closer than brothers in a way. I'll do my best, but you should know I'm as clueless as you are when it comes to ladies. It's easier to give advice than to do it yourself."

"Well great!" exclaimed Rough, nodding his head, "You advise, I'll... do."

Author's Note:

David and Rough Draft learn more about each other, and then the shipping begins!

Spot any typos or get any ideas? Leave them below! I feed on comments!