- Member Since 13th Nov, 2014
- offline last seen Sep 25th, 2015
Drake Razorfang
Brony from Washington, not sure what to do with his life at the moment, might as well try fanfiction.
Drake Razorfang
Joined 13th Nov, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Wolfie702 · 11k words · 187 9 · 5.2k views
- WhyteKnyght · 139k words · 406 21 · 8.9k views
- RandomChance · 11k words · 491 41 · 9.4k views
- Thecorpsmancolt · 12k words · 145 6 · 2.8k views
- Radiant Dawn · 47k words · 245 19 · 5.3k views
- coolcatnate · 19k words · 246 26 · 7.6k views
- SkyShrieker · 15k words · 217 21 · 9.8k views
- KingdomBrony16 · 269k words · 28k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.08 seconds
Total duration
550 users online
1,105,766 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This story seems interesting.
Good to see that three more characters will join. You have a fav and a like from me.
5571738 Same here
your story is underapresiated
i like it hope 2 c mor
This is a good read
This chapter's progression was a bit rushed, and at times sudden.
When writing AJ, just keep the words simple to understand but if you want that southern accent, use a bit of slang on only some words.
There are portions in this chapter that are unnecessary or under explained, needs a bit of work
Been reading since the first chapter, my conclusion? You make is seem like a TV show but you have to remember that it's not.
There was a lack of description in some areas while others need it less.
The pacing was adequately made although some chapters leave more questions to be addressed.
A better chapter so I'm giving a like and a fave
Two words, Line Break.
Separate scenes with are line to indicate a change in scenery or a skip in time.
A good chapter, but now your going to have to explain why there are so many people who visited him. That left me a bit confused, more so as to why Blue blood came to visit because it made no sense at the time.
Also I just remembered, why was he so affectionate with the mane seven in the earlier chapters? Seems unrealistic even more so when they seemed not to mind.
If you're trying to go for the harem route there has to be a build up of affection before things can move on to romance.
You also have to explain why there are some who hate magic despite having a pair of sort of goddesses walking among them.
5787184 Thanks for the feedback, it really helps!
I'll see what I can do about explaining things in the next few chapters, hopefully to clear up any confusion.
As for why they're all affectionate, at this point in the story, Will has been running the hostel for upwards of a year, so he's been able to build such affection over that time.
If I get a spark of inspiration, I might even write a couple of flashback chapters about his early days there, when everything is delightfully awkward. we'll see.