This story is a sequel to Sonic and Rainbow Dash PORTAL TO EQUESTRIA
What will happen when 6 ponies and a dragon recreate a magical white teleporting mist to see a old friend and end up in a new world themselves?! Join Pac-man, Rainbow Dash, AppleJack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Narrartor, Cilly, Spiral, and many, many more on this quest to save 2 worlds!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm not even willing to try reading this until you spell check your description.
5571184 oops... I didn't relize that... Sorry
I couldn't finish this. Please got a proofreader and an editor. There were many things wrong with this:
1. The pacing way WAY too fast. Slow down a bit okay? Take some time to let the scene play out. Seriously, you didn't take the time to even describe when this even took place. Was it right after season 3 of MLP? Then Twilight would be an alicorn unless this is an alternate universe. After season 4? Then the time traveling would begin in the Castle of friendship. You had mentioned it was a castle they were in, but I nearly missed it with all of your rushing.
2. Make sure your story actually makes sense. I got lost at the part where Pinkie Pie sings. There was no reason for the singing right there.
3. Be more descriptive. I went into this story blindly, and was confused to see Sonic in it. Why was he there, what did he do there, and why/how/when did he leave? Also you have quite a few unnecessary scenes, such as the A.K. Yearling thing.
There's plenty more, but my PS3 has a word limit.
5571389 1) I will soon and it is after season 4.
2) the sighing was there because pinkie is pinkie, k?
3) read my last story... I cancelled it but sonic left a few mounts ago and everypony and spike were gonna visit him.
5571969
1. It's good to hear that your going to. This story has a lot of potential, but needs to be executed correctly in order to be considered a 'good' story.
2. Although Pinkie seems to be random, she has a reason why she does what she does. For example, in the episode 'Swarm of the Centry', Pinkie seems to randomly play a trumpet but she had mentioned it earlier in the episode and hadn't used it on the parasprites, so she expected that ending. She's not just a crazy pony who does things blindly with no meaning. She's just clever and uses that cleverness to add to her comedy.
3. You don't have a link to the previous story, which makes people jump right in this one. You did not mention that this was a sidestory/sequel at all. Also, even if you said so, the sequel should briefly recap what happened in the previous story, because there will be people who go blindly regardless of any warnings. It could only be a paragraph or two, it doesn't matter, just as long as your audience isn't confused.
5572071 1) thanks!
2) I know it just fit at that moment
3) oops I'll go fix that
5626384 thanks:)! I love both shows too!
When i poop it makes me happy but my butt sad.....im a troll
5630544 >:( not cool
5626384 Some of the voice actors for Pac-Man and the Ghostly adventures voice characters for MLP;FiM
Ashleigh Ball voices Pinky the Ghost and in MLP, she is Rainbow Dash and Applejack
Cilly is voiced by Andrea Libman
Erin Andrews is the voice of Pac-man who also voices Little Strong Heart (the buffalo) from Over a Barrel (confirmed by Ashleigh Ball in an Everfree Radio interview.
5690196 Lee Tokar and Richard Ian Cox voice Snips (Tokar) and Snails (Cox).
5690211 It was a miny (auto correct sucks...) chapter before the real chapter.
Here's a little something I wrote to give you a little example of how a crossover with PAC-Man would go if I wrote it.
Outside of the Carousel Boutique, there was a rustle in the bushes. Inside, a small lavender dragon had many pins and needle stuck in his back. It didn't hurt him, due to his tough dragon scales, but he was sad that his crush, the beautiful white dressmaker unicorn right in front of him seemed to ignore him most of the time.
Rarity's eyes were drawn to the window, and her ears perked up as the bushes shook once more.
"Spike, darling!" she called to the little dragon, batting her eyes. "Could you be a dear and check outside? I heard a rustling, and I'm very busy right now."
"Sure!" the lovestruck dragon smiled, and headed outside as the bushes rustled once again. Spike stepped back cautiously, but he had to be brave. For Rarity.
Suddenly, a dark figure with glowing blue eyes floated from out of the bushes, Spike backing up in fear.
"Come at me! You w-wanna fight?" Spike tried to fight against the ghostly figure, but it simply smirked and wooshed at the hapless dragon.
Spike lay on the ground for a while, but then he slowly stood up, now wearing a small red bowtie, his eyes glowing light blue.
"Now I will finally have my revenge..."
5630544 DA FUDGE
MORE PLZ
Keep going and add power berry forms to the Mane 6 and Spike. I LOVE IT!!!