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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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you draw that your self. because it's a nice picture.
5421111 Nah, the amazing cover was made by Faith-Wolff, she's awesome. I cannot draw to save my life
Hmmmm...only two chapters in and it's already looking VERY interesting. This is one I'll definitely be following.
Now, that was an entertaining twist!
I am also impressed by how subtle the clues were leading to it: the strange fascination with examinations of other races, the proficiency of her acting skill, the willingness to work with the most morally corrupt of the wasteland.
Our protagonist may be the most fascinating character to grace this setting, and she easily has enough potential (an inner conflict, an established and uncompromising set of ethics, a curiosity that cannot be sated) to make this one of the best of the side-stories.
However, for all the efforts that go into covering plot holes and other narrative gaps, it seems that the slavers seemed to be a little too ignorant of some peculiar coincidences. It feels like you were forcing the other characters to look the other way.
A minor complaint. I hope to read more!
Very interesting, you have definitely piqued my interest.
5421117
I don't like criticize your work Borsuq but could you give more details on the ponies? As the color of the tail and mane and fur in the next chapters. If you could answer me at least Whip Crack, Apple Core and (Cutter: just the color of the tail and mane) That'd be nice
5428259 I believe I mentioned through the chapter that Whip Crack was dark brown, Apple Core light brown (bordering on orange-yellow), and Cutter was gray. Though I did not mention anything about their manes, probably... Well, they have a darker or lighter color of their coats as their mane's colors, probably
I demand more psychopath! There's plenty of sociopaths, but far too few psychopaths.
Well, if you count raiders as sociopaths.
Now, is that a Ditzy Doo in the cover art? I shall now expect greatness.
Looks awesome
A strong voice and fresh perspective. I find it humorous that most wasteland "adventurers" would had tried killing off all the slavers at the start, and pat themselves on the back for a job well done. This approach is much more realistic, while keeping the moral fate of her victims ambiguous due to their "Slaver" status.
Keep up the good work! Definitely putting this on my list ^^
Woah,this side-story is nearly completely different with other side-story,this one have a protagonist that just too smart,just look how she faking Cutter's death and use him as test subject,also the storyline don't have too much violence and gunfight.
I have one question
is Angel a mad doctor?
Woah,this side-story is nearly completely different with other side-story,this one have a protagonist that just too smart,just look how she faking Cutter's death and use him as test subject,also the storyline don't have too much violence and gunfight.
I have one question
is Angel a mad doctor?
Woah,this side-story is nearly completely different with other side-story,this one have a protagonist that just too smart,just look how she faking Cutter's death and use him as test subject,also the storyline don't have too much violence and gunfight.
I have one question
is Angel a mad doctor?
5475322 Well, I suppose that depends on what one means as "mad", doesn't it?
I like the looks of where this is going, so I'll give it a favourite and a follow. By the way, I LOVE the cover.
5475326 Why of course not. What madman would go get a doctorate for it? That defeats the purpose!*
The scientifically correct term is "mad scientist". It comes with repetitive experimentation seen as unwise or frivolous by society.
I wonder what the main plot driver will be...
Hmm, a mad scientist under slaver employ. I think I see where this is going. And I like it.
*And now for a word from our sponsor; Headmaster Discord!
Intriguing!
Enjoyed it very much so far!
Do you mean
While I was reading this story, I had 'Desert Wind' from the original fallout series playing in the background...
It was fucking awesome!
I really like the atmosphere in this fic, not many side stories seem to be able to nail that right. I hope to oneday release my side story with as much detail you described in the setting.
Also, I love Angel!
I'm going to stalk this story!
"canalization"
Interesting. Why did you choose to use that word? Is that a more direct translation of the Polish for "plumbing"? Some of your article usage I also find curious from a linguistic perspective.
"Mudhill (Original)"
What is that second part meant to mean?
Strength of 1? Wow.
I feel like the special at the bottom is rather unnecessary. From the perspective of the old games, your character would struggle with carrying basic things. 3 is the point of being deficient in something. For example, A character with 3 intelligence can only communicate with grunts and gestures rather than complex language. If you have 1 strength you can't use guns. In the end, it doesn't really matter because you don't have to go off of the games' rubric for what is allowed in a character.
You have an interesting character that differs from my other stories, but I do agree with Amethyst's point that your character is talented in a lot of things. Being talented isn't a problem necessarily, so long as they have struggles, but there are a number of areas she breezed through. She is clearly an arrogant sort of character with some of the things she tries, having an absolute faith in the rightness of her knowledge, but that can be a dead give away. Also, it may pay off to learn a thing or two about some of the area's your character is talented in. I know if my sisters (both nurses) took a look at some of the medical things in this story they would tear it to pieces. That being said, you can get away with a lot in fiction. It really is just something for making a more convincing story. Going realistic with various qualities is a choice and not one that every story has to do.
The wasteland is certainly full of infinite potential, but it is funny seeing a stable dweller seeing this. It is a wastelander's play ground, and it seems the character might do some interesting things.
I'm sensing a moral horizon rapidly approaching.
Modesty is a virtue, Angel. You should learn it.
Dear Gawd!...the lab is in ruin!
...oh yeah, and there are dead bodies in here-BUT THE LAB IS IN RUIN!
Oh the equinity!
A true psychopath...why don't we have more protagonists like this?
I love it! Finally, a story where the main character is just, literally so happy to be in the real world, and just has no problems working with those who are considered evil. I love it all! Lovely first chapter. Favorite, and a follow.
The story was going so well! Main character with questionable morale, check! Charismatic talker, check! Plans to take control trough cunning guile, double check... And then does Angel find a statuette in the first chapter... You were the promised one! The one meant to bring health back to the Wasteland! And you do something like that... Sniffle I say, sniffle! I had expected more from you!... Even with Fluttershy having a damn good reason to give her statuette of herself away, still dosn't make up for stat boost in the first chapter!
First time that I see a strength 1 char, and a wasteland doctor that wanna experiment so much, so color me intrigued!
Nitpicks:
Too bad that no one have commented on these mistakes before now... I mean the story seems to be half popular, so one should have thought that others had caught these small things as well.
" the mare I was heal finally asked what all of them must have been thinking." healing
"shouldn’t they have been found if somepony was smuggling to Equestria illegal drugs? " Maybe is it my Danish brain, but I think it would sound better with the words switched around
"relieving me and everypony else at the clinic for a few hours ," Delete space
8981168
Yeah, Angel doesn't lift much ;p
Thanks for pointing those out^^ Actually, I think both ways are correct, but now that I read "illegal drugs to Equestria" a few times, it sounds better in my head^^
Oh I like this mare already. Nice change of pace to the average main characters we see in these stories. I am intrigued. Amazing writing.
Ah!
A very interesting character....
ok. you were seriously interested in me now. interesting stepping stone from typical foe stpry type. and a really nice beginning ... and how well we know thats usually the hardest part of story ...
And when the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!
Anyway, that's how I got banished from my stable.
God**** angel!
I saw when the lamb opened the first seal, and I heard as it were thunder, one of the four beasts say, come and see... and I saw, and behold it was a white horse... and hell followed with her.
If you get that reference you are a true gamer
I love that you skipped the usual “here is the Vault and all these characters that won’t matter once the protag leaves” section. Even better that you made it clear that Angel was worse than she outwardly portrays and saved the reason for her banishment for a fantastic reveal at the end. Mad scientist definitely fits for her lol.
Many people note that Angel is much more antiheroic than other heroes of the Wasteland, but to be honest, I don't see this. Almost everycreature in the Littlepip team doing... let's call it morally ambiguous actions. Take, for example, the scene in which Calamity shoots at a raider foal without feeling any remorse.
They are heroes, but the Wasteland seriously changes the morality. Virtue is the little that is possible and needs to be preserved, but everything else goes by the wayside.
Again, in the setting of pre-war Equestria or Stable 8 - she could safely be called a villain, but the Wasteland-suggests that even the heroes had to do more than once or twice not one-sided actions.
Pooling?
Oh damn... I didn't expect her to be this mental
At first I thought it was bad writing or she was naive, approaching a bunch of raiders like that. But by the end of the chapter, I realized, oh no she is just a psychopath, or at best a sociopath lol.
Spent
But
Begun
in the* or in my* PipBuck
They'd*
Sisters*
Dashites*
For them to* raid
I'd*
'find shackles in a slaver/slavers' town'
Affects a* pony's DNA
Interesting story, having the protagonist be actually turn out to be a megalomaniacal psychopath obsessed with her own obscure goals is an interesting premise for a Fallout Equestria story. (Granted I've only read the original and The Chrysalis.)
She still says 'sweetie' way too much, which just comes off as condescending... which I suppose is the intention, she is being condescending. Still, you'd think a skilled manipulator trying to pass herself off as harmless would try to avoid that. (And it also just simply annoys me a little ngl)
Maybe that's why her charisma is 8 and not 10