Rainbow hovered mere feet away from an immensely sweaty Applejack. She watched as her friend struggled against gravity by reaching up and wrapping a hoof around a sturdy-looking tree branch. Applejack grunted as she pulled her body up a few more inches, and Rainbow matched her height by flying up a little more. Perspiration poured out of Applejack in copious amounts, and being so close gave Rainbow a front row seat to a stench that she could only describe as overly ripened apples.
Flapping her wings, she put some distance between her and the radiating smell. “Come on, AJ, just a few more branches to go.”
Applejack ground her teeth in determination. “Why are ya rootin’ fer me? Ya realize if Ah make it ta the top, then it’ll be mah turn ta come up with a dare.”
“Yeah, I know.” Rainbow waved her hoof dismissively. Glancing down, she saw the sixty feet of tree that Applejack had already conquered. “But it’s been pretty awesome to see you make it this far. Besides, it’d really suck for you to fall.”
Unconsciously, Applejack’s eye darted down. It was only for half a second, but the sheer magnitude of her height sunk in. “Ah reckon you’re right ‘bout that.” Her next grab for a branch was shaky.
Tilting her head up, Rainbow saw the marginal distance left before the top branch. There was no denying it; Applejack was about to conquer the largest tree in all of Ponyville.
“Remind me to come up with a more challenging dare next time around,” she absent-mindedly thought out loud.
Applejack snickered. “Assumin’ that ya can even do mah dare, that is.”
Rainbow moved up some more so they could be eye level again. “I know I can handle anything you can think of.”
Reaching for the last limb, Applejack grinned and hoisted herself up. “Whoo… made it,” she panted, sitting on the branch. For her effort, Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves together.
“Nicely done. So what are you going to dare me to do?”
“Let… me catch… mah breath, Sugarcube.” Applejack breathed heavily with exertion.
Rainbow sighed. “Fine, but don’t take too long. I actually want to get a turn today, otherwise how am I supposed to prove I’m the most daring pony?”
Applejack snorted. “Ah–” There was an unmistakable snap of a tree branch, and suddenly she was falling. Her body fell into the leafy limbs below as a loud scream escaped her mouth. Rainbow swooped down and reached for her. Applejack collided with a branch and the impact sent her hurtling out of range. Cursing, Rainbow flew faster, but couldn’t reach anywhere near her top speed with all the branches in the way. The ground was racing towards the both of them, not leaving a lot of time for mistakes. Grappling with all her strength, Rainbow managed to latch onto one of Applejack’s hooves and slow down.
“Thanks, partner.” Applejack smiled, and then looked down. “That was a little too close fer comfort.”
“I’ll say.” Rainbow slowly lowered Applejack until she was safely standing on the ground. “You all right?”
“Mah back took a pretty nasty hit.” She rubbed the spot on her back that hit the branch and cringed. “That hurts somethin’ fierce.” Face still expressing pain, she looked at Rainbow. “Think maybe we could go ta the hospital?”
“That’s probably a good idea, but don’t forget you owe me a dare.” They started walking towards town.
“Ah’ll think of one on the way there,” Applejack promised.
“Good, I’m itching to do something exciting.” She saw Applejack experiencing some discomfort just from the mere act of walking. “You know, Fluttershy’s place is probably closer than the hospital. She could patch you up, or whatever.”
Applejack shook her head. “Ah don’t want ta go ta Fluttershy fer something like this. She’d just get all… apologize-y.”
Rainbow raised her eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Knowing how close Rainbow and Fluttershy were, Applejack chose her next words carefully. “It’s just… she keeps on apologizing fer every little thing, especially when it ain’t her fault. If we went ta her, she’d probably be all ‘Oh my, I’m so sorry that you got hurt, Applejack’. It just annoys me sometimes, ya know?”
“Well… I guess. But no pony’s perfect. I mean, Pinkie’s a lot fun, but I can only handle her in small doses.”
Applejack nodded. “Same here. Ah don’t know how anypony could keep up with her.”
“And while Twilight’s a great friend, she’s way too much of an egghead. Half the time I barely even know what the heck she’s talking about.”
"Hey, Twi's a great pony. Ya shouldn't complain 'bout her just 'cause ya aren't smart enough ta keep up." The practically angry way Applejack said the words made Rainbow raise her eyebrows in shock.
"Geeze AJ, I didn't know you had a soft spot for the egghead."
Color flushed onto Applejack's cheeks. "Ah don't, I just–"
"Sure you don't." Rainbow smirked.
"Ah don't," Applejack insisted, grumbling towards the ground.
They’d crossed into town at this point, and Rainbow had to start focusing on the road as there was a sudden surge in traffic. Ponies of all colors ambled about, and she dropped their conversation in favor of not bumping into somepony.
“What about Rarity?” Applejack asked, after they’d passed the bulk of the crowd.
“Huh?”
“Well, ya said nopony’s perfect, so Ah was wondering what yer gripe with Rarity is.”
“Besides the fact that she never shuts up about fashion?” Rainbow gave it some thought. “Well… not too much, I guess. She's uptight, but at the same time really frickin' hot. I’d totally do her.”
“What?” Applejack froze in the middle of the street. Rainbow took two steps before realizing this and back pedaled. “Come again?”
“I’d do her,” Dash reiterated.
“You mean…”
“I would nail her. Bang her. Buck her. Call it whatever you want; I would do Rarity if I had the chance.”
Applejack's expression suddenly changed from mild discomfort to shock. “Uh, Rainbow…”
“I mean, who wouldn’t? She’s got the curviest set of flanks I’ve ever seen, not to mention her–”
“Rainbow, ya should really stop.”
“I gotta say, it wouldn’t suck to hop into bed with her and shove her face between my–”
“Ah’m serious! Put a sock in it.”
“I bet I could even make her squeal.” Before Dash could continue, she heard somepony clear their throat directly behind her. Every muscle in her body tensed up in recognition, and she cringed. Applejack wore an “Ah warned ya” expression on her face, but looked just a little worried herself. Slowly, and ruefully, Rainbow Dash turned around to face a seething, red-faced unicorn. “Heeeeeey, Rares.”
“How dare you.” Rarity’s scowl could make minotaurs wilt in fear. Her voice was like a knife, cold and sharp. Surprisingly though, she wasn’t shouting, and didn’t really seem angry. Yet.
“Funny story. You see, I was talking about a completely different–”
“HOW DARE YOU!” She was definitely shouting and angry now. Her knife-like voice had become a chainsaw. Rarity marched forward, and in turn Dash scrambled to back up. “You uncouth, degrading, vile, egotistical, brute!”
Rainbow held up a hoof. “In my defense–” Rarity’s hoof moved so fast even Dash didn’t have time to process it.
Crack.
Dash reeled from the slap, taking a few steps backwards from the sheer force. She moved her hoof to her stinging face. “Oww…” Then the full force of the pain made it to her brain. “Oww, buck!”
“Hmmph!” Rarity whirled her body around so fast that her tail caught the other side of Rainbow’s face. As she huffily trotted off, she called back, “As if I’d ever do such things with the likes of you!”
Rainbow spat indigo hairs from her mouth, still attempting to nurse her whacked cheek. For a moment, there was silence. Then Applejack burst out laughing.
“Bwuhahahaha!” She fell to the ground, rolling on her injured back. “Haha – ow – hahaha!”
“It’s not that funny,” Rainbow muttered embarrassedly.
“You're right!” Applejack wiped a tear from her eyes and paused. “That was hilarious! Ahahahaha!”
“Shut up,” Dash growled.
As the laughter fit calmed a little, Applejack sat back up. “Ya really bucked that up, didn’tcha?” Rainbow grunted in reply. “On the bright side, Ah finally thought of a dare fer ya.”
Her eyebrow arched. “Yeah? What is it?”
Applejack smirked viciously. “Ah dare ya ta make Rarity squeal by the end of the day.”
“WHAT?”
Yes.
I must have more.
Rarity's totally into it.
Lol, I'm jut sitting here like:
Ya'll fuckers be prepared, 'cause I know how shit is gonna go down.
Oh shit!
Rainbow probably has an entire array of bad pick up lines to try.
"I heard Rarity squeal What you Do R.D.?"
"Wat you talkin about AJ?"
"See you tonight ,My precious scales"
"What are you two giggling about now?"
Okay, this is a lot of fun.
Needs a prereader, though.
I agree with 5521975 that this could use some pre-reading. The prose could stand to be tightened up a bit in places. I've got a real soft spot for the sort of shipping comedy this is shaping up to be, though, and I think you've done a nice introduction here. In particular, I was expecting some sort of immediate jokey pay-off to Dash's statement, and very pleased to see that you're setting up a real conflict instead. There's not a whole lot of indication to where you're going with this yet, but you've done enough to catch my interest—so nice job!
Ohhhh, Dash. You done messed up.
(In more ways than one.)
In other words, girl, that was a serious case of "open mouth, insert hoof".
All the way up to your elbow.
5521648 Spoken like a fabulous cat.
I think you misplaced a space.
I liked it. It was a fun little story.
My implied TwiJack senses are tingling.
Oh, and you better bump this up to mature. I want to see ponies frick.
All right then.
Oh this could be good...
Tracking.
: “You uncouth, degrading, vile, egotistical, brute!”
: "She wants me."
Okay, a lot of comments sprung up when I wasn't looking. Now I'm going to try and reply to them all.
5521567
You shall, the next chapter should hopefully be up sometime today.
5521623
5521648
Just make sure you don't spoil anything, or else Fluttershy will get pissed.
5521653
Already mentioned this with Derpator, but the plan is for the next chapter to be up today.
5521712
I know it's not quite what you said, but it was the closest I could find on short notice.
5521901
"Hey Rares, great legs. What time do they open?"
5521913
Nice one.
5521975
I've been talking to my editor about this one. He's got a lot to do right now, but he'll be getting around to this story eventually. Until then I'm just going to have to rely on my terrible eyesight to catch any errors.
5522034
Okay then...
5522261
Glad you're intrigued.
5522298
Agreed, but at least it's going to be fun to watch her do damage control.
5522308
A (very) fabulous cat.
5522449
Thanks for the catch. I'm glad you like it so far.
5522690
I don't really write ponies fricking, so that's kinda a no for mature. However, do keep that implied TwiJack in the back of your mind. It may make a resurgence.
5522815
Yep.
5523188
Hopefully you'll like the end result.
5523335
"Oh yeah. She wants the D(ash)"
5521901
: "There may be a lot of precious jewels around here, but you're a diamond. Now can I get in your rough?"
*Gets coat*
5523512
5523513
Hey, Rarity. That's a great looking dress you're wearing. It'd look even better on my floor.
I hate to see you go, Rarity, but I love watching you leave.
Hey, Rarity. Is that your horn or are you just happy to see me?
5523577
"Hey Rarity, that dress is very becoming on you."
"Oh... why thank you, Rainbow. What a lovely thing to–"
"Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming too."
"..."
5523614
Hey, Rares!
Oh Celestia no! Just go away, Rainbow!
Wait. I wrote you a poem. Erhmm... Roses are red. Violets are blue. Get in my bed. So I can do you.
5523512 Thank you.
And this is true.
Whatta ya wanna bet she falls flat on her face in the trying, though?
And in a very spectacular manner?
5523728
You'll find out later today.
5523790 oh boy did this make me laugh. great job dude as always. I'm interested to see how this turns out
5523790 Cool. I'll be on the look-out for the next chapter.
All...these...sex puns... they hurt. But i can't stop laughing!
5523577
5523614
i.qkme.me/35oer5.jpg
5524414
exactly.
Damn, why couldn't this have more tags, make rares squeal like a pig.
This could turn out badly.
Especially if Rarity finds out that it was a dare.
5524472
Cue the banjo music from Deliverance.
Wooooo dogggy!
5524414 Okay, I suppose one more can't hurt.
"Hey, Rares, are your legs made of Nutella?"
"What?"
"Cause I'd love to spread 'em."
"...Get out."
5524706
I was tempted to post that one.
: "Rarity, wanna play carnival?"
: "How do you play-?"
: "You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh."
You had me at "implied Applejack crush on Twilight."
Can't wait to read more!
Make Rarity squeal? Just tell her that polka dots and pinstripes are in this year. By the way, hot tip Rares, Rainbows are gonna be in you.
derpicdn.net/img/2014/3/5/566946/large.png
a necessary addition to this comments section
Raridash must Dash it is the fate of the world
yay, more Raridash.
5526080
Rainbow really put her hoof in her mouth this time.
Why would she kick her
5528006 buck is the ponified word for... Well, replace the first letter of 'buck' with an 'F'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN2vMceH_i8
5528006 Sir there are 2 meanings for buck it's kicking somethings or fucking something.
Some small typos
Remove "to"
And in chapter 2
- past
- scrub
Missing words x2
- its
- if
This is gonna be good.
"hurdling"
hurtling.
Hehe
Just curious but is Rainbow actually gay or was she just being Rainbow?
5529878 Everybody's gay for somebody.
5529878 I'm pretty sure Rainbow is as straight as her name suggests.
5529991 Holy shit i just realized how true this is.
Also, the only people to dislike to comment is the haters who realized the same .
5529991 We need to come up with a name for that.
The Neil Patrick Harris effect?
The Fabulous Theory?
5528748
Now, now. No need to fight over me,
But sh-
He-
If you both behave I will spend the night with both of you
Uh, sis? What are you doing?