Laughter is Lonely
It was a typical, peaceful morning in Ponyville. The sun was rising at its normally rapid rate, the birds chirped and the animals slept undisturbed in their burrows. A pink flash zipped through the main Ponyville road, coming to a sudden halt in front of a giant floating cloud castle in the sky. Rainbow waterfalls fell from the roof of the building, collecting into a delta at the base of the cloud. A clear path wound it’s way around to the front door, and pillars of cloud vapor and water stood proud, supporting the large roof. The flash appeared to be a pony, wearing a pair of green hypnotism-glasses, a red clown nose and a fuzzy black moustache. An arrow-through-the-head headband was on her forehead, and a she was blowing a blue party horn repeatedly, creating a squeaking noise that rang up to the sky. Just a normal day in Ponyville.
“Rise and shine, Rainbow Dash! We’ve got a brand new day of pranking!” The flash called, staring up at the cloud with her neck craned back. Pinkie hoped her cyan friend Rainbow Dash would come out soon, she was really bored and wanted to get pranking!
When a face did finally appear, popping out from behind a cloud, it wasn’t a Pegasus- actually, Pinkie Pie didn’t know what it was! It had shaggy white feathers on it’s head, chest and neck, but sky blue feathers dappled in the white like salt and pepper. It’s eyes were golden, but had flecks of rust at the edges, like a magnet had pulled them there. The rest of it’s body was brownish-tan, furry but not feathery. For some reason, it had two claws for front feet and.. lion paws for back feet? It didn’t make any sense to Pinkie Pie! Why would a lion-bird thing with ginormus brown and beige wings be up in Rainbow Dash’s house? The thing’s pupil shrunk down to a slit, and it disappeared momentarily. She let out a “oooh” in surprise.
“Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie was relieved to hear the familiar voice of her best friend Rainbow Dash calling to her from her castle. A cyan blur shot out from the bottom of the cloud, landing next to Pinkie Pie with a splat. Pinkie Pie squealed and hugged her best friend briefly and bouncing away, running her mouth and trotting about.
“So, who are we going to prank today?” Pinkie Pie asked, hopping circles around her friend.
“Well, actually, Pinkie Pie- I wanted you to meet somebody. Gilda, this is my gal pal Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow Dash called up to the cloud, and it flew down, landing on all fours. It lashed it’s lion tail and looked over at Pinkie Pie, unimpressed.
“Sup.” The thing asked, brushing back three out-of-place feathers in it’s forehead. Pinkie Pie waved a hoof at the thing, blowing the party horn a couple of times.
“Pinkie Pie, this is my Griffon friend Gilda.” Rainbow Dash introduced her friends, and they exchanged a quick nod.
“What’s a Griffon?” Pinkie Pie tilted her head, looking Gilda over.
“She’s half lion, and half eagle!” Her feathered friend explained, taking a step towards the griffon. Gilda gave Rainbow Dash a side hug and growled playfully.
“And all awesome!” Gilda gave the Pegasus a noogie, scratching her head with her sharp black talons playfully. Rainbow Dash laughed, pushing her friend away from her. Pinkie Pie giggled, snorting and slapping the ground in laugher.
“Me and Gilda were best friends at Junior Speedster flight camp.” The cyan Pegasus’s eyes lit up, and she nudged the Griffon with a blue hoof. “Remember the chant?”
“Ch’yeah, they made us recite it everyday.” The griffon rolled her eyes. “I’ll never get that lame thing out of my head.” Pinkie Pie watched in confusion as Rainbow Dash looked the griffon in the eyes, raising her eyebrows and gesturing to the sky. “Only for you, Dash.” They both floated up a couple of meters and began to sing,
“Junior speedsters are our lives!
Sky-bound soars and daring dives!
Junior speedsters its our quest-
To someday be the very best!” They swooped down, landing in front of Pinkie Pie and waving their arms. Pinkie Pie broke out into gigglesnorts, patting the ground with her front hoof and blowing the party horn again and again. Bashfully, the griffon smoothed the feathers on her forehead and Rainbow Dash scratched her forelock.
“Ooh, that was awesome you guys!” Pinkie Pie choked out, in between giggles and snorts. “And it gave me a great idea for a prank!” If Rainbow Dash had been embarrassed, it certainly didn’t show now when a smirk of excitement crossed her muzzle. “Gilda, you game?”
“Well Pinkie,” The griffon began, “I groove on a prank as much as the next Griffon. But Dash, you promised-“ Her wings stretched to full-span, flapping impatiently. “That we’d get a flying session in this morning!” The smile disappeared off the cyan pegasus’ face, replaced with a look of surprise. The griffon began to fly up towards the nearest cloud, not looking back to see if her friend was following.
“O- oh yeah, you don’t mind, do you Pinkie? Gilda just got here.“ Rainbow Dash fluttered her wings, backing away from Pinkie Pie slowly. “We’ll catch up with ya later, alright?” She turned around and flew after the griffon, also not looking back.
“Oh. Um, well sure, no problem. Have fun you guys, so I'll just catch up with you-“ She sighed. She blew the party horn, but the sound didn’t come out as happy and exuberantly as usual. It sounded lifeless and hollow.
“..Later..”
Pinkie Pie wandered aimlessly through Ponyville, bored and lonely. She dragged her feet and hung her head. Rainbow Dash and Gilda were probably having the time of their lives up in the clouds.. too bad she didn’t have wings. But hey, she could roll solo for a while.. right? It’s alright, Pinkie! She reassured herself. Dashie is still your partner-in-pranks and your best friend! She’s just hanging out with an old bestie, that’s all! Feeling better, she looked around for ponies to talk to in the meantime. An orange pony with a straw hat caught her eye. There’s Applejack! She quickly returned to her classic Pinkie-bounce, hopping her way over to the cowpony. When she was close enough, she called out,
“Hi AJ!” The orange pony saw her, trotting over to her magenta buddy.
“ ‘Ey Pink! Whatchyou doin’?” Applejack tipped her hat, and the two proceeded to exchange small talk: How the weather was so nice that day, future parties Pinkie was planning, how stressful the Apple family harvest was going to be. The orange cowpony frowned, interrupting Pinkie as she was explaining a great idea for a party that involved three zebras and two giraffes.
“Pinkie, that’s nice and all, but I’m a might busy. I’ve still gotta move these apples to my new apple cellar, and Big Macintosh hurt himself again. So I’ve gotta buck all the apples by myself today!” She made a move to leave, but Pinkie Pie blocked her, a smile on her face.
“Ooh, can I help? I’m super extra-lonley today, because Rainbow Dash is off with a friend!”
“I- ah don’t know, Pinkie..” Applejack fumbled, eyes flickering from side to side nervously. Pinkie Pie? In her farm? This was either going to end extremely well, or terribly.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase?” Pinkie Pies eyes widened, pupils dilating and shiny. Her cyan irises turned into pools of pleading, pools that Applejack simply couldn’t resist.
“I- okay.” Applejack gave in. How bad could it be? “But Pinkie Pie, when you’re bucking you—“ But Pinkie Pie was long gone. In her place was a cloud of dirt that lead to Sweet Apple Acres as the crow flies. The green-eyed mare stared after her in bewilderment, chuckling and following after her. There was no explaining Pinkie Pie.
“Applejack! What took you so long!” Pinkie Pie whined when Applejack finally arrived. She was standing next to two wooden barrels, each almost taller than her. One was almost overfilling with bright, shiny apples- all a deep red in colour. However, the other one was only half-full of applecores. All trees within a 10-foot radius of Pinkie Pie were bare, no apples on them at all. Pinkie Pie was standing in a few applecores. The orange cowmares jaw dropped.
“Pinkie! What happened to all the apples!” She demanded, staring at the mess. Humiliated, Pinkie Pie looked down, pawing at the ground and taking a step back.
“I- It was hard work bucking the apples and running here so fast..! I just took a snack!” Pinkie Pie blinked, staring at Applejack. Oh no.. she’s not going to be my friend anymore! She hates me..! Applejack looked at the mess and shook her head.
“Pinkie Pie, I’ll give ya another chance. But this time, no eatin’!” The orange pony shouldered Pinkie Pie, then got to bucking apples, walking away from Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie looked around, walking to the nearest apple tree. She faced away from it and bunched up the muscles in her forelegs, tightening them until they hurt. Then Pinkie Pie exploded with a blast of energy, kicking the tree and sending a shower of apples down. She picked up the apples and dumped them in the half-full barrel, eating a couple on the way there. She continued to do this, finding herself getting hungrier and hungrier. All this work is making me hungry! Pinkie Pie said, chomping away on an apple as she dumped half of her harvestings into the other barrel(she had filled up the first one by this time).
“Applejack! I’m hungry!” The orange pony turned to look at Pinkie Pie in surprise.
“Are ya done with ya’lls part?” Applejack asked, walking over to the barrels. They were both full, but every tree between Applejack and Pinkie Pie was bare- and then some.
“Where ah the rest of ‘m?” The cowpony looked around, her gaze searching the whole farm and then resting on Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie smiled, guilty.
“You ate them, didn’t ya?!” Applejack snapped, stepping towards Pinkie Pie, who in turn took a step backwards.
“I-I-“
“I told ya no eatin’, Pinkie Pie! You ate almost all of them! How am I supposed ta explain' this ta Big Macintosh and Granny Smith? Get off mah farm!” Applejack chased Pinkie Pie, who ran away as fast as she could. Dashing off the farm, Pinkie Pie didn’t stop running until she reached a large, purple building that resembled a two-tier cake. It had stained glass windows with beige curtains, and to top it all off was a small red flag on top. Carousel Botique? Trotting near it, Pinkie Pie eyed it curiously and debated whether or not to go in. Maybe Rarity will be want to play with me than Applejack did! Pinkie Pie smiled just a little bit, trotting inside the purple door.
“Raaaaaaaaaarity? Rarity?” Pinkie Pie trotted along the pale linoleum floor, looking from side to side for her white unicorn friend.
“Ah, yes! Hold on, dear. I’ll take just a moment.” A purple tail was poking out of a small closet that Pinkie Pie had never noticed before. The rump attached to it was wiggling around, probably searching for something. Rarity emerged from the closet carrying a square of golden silk. Turning tail, she walked over to her sowing machine and placed the silk down, then began walking over to Pinkie Pie.
“Oh! Pinkie, it’s you!” She said, surprised. “I thought you were someone else. Is there something I can help you with?” Rarity asked, walking back to her sowing machine. Pinkie pie bit her lip, thinking for a moment.
“No. I’m just really bored because Rainbow Dash is playing with her new friend Gilda, and I don’t know what to do!” Rarity’s face lit up in curiosity. The white unicorn zipped over to Pinkie Pie, eyes aglow with interest.
“Who’s Gilda?” Pinkie Pie couldn’t understand why Rarity enjoyed gossip so much, or why she wanted to know about the griffon. But Pinkie Pie didn’t mind her asking.. much.
“Oh, she’s a griffon. They were friends at—“ Rarity cut her off, her eyes sparkling.
“A griffon! Oh, they’re so rare! I have to meet her! What’s she like?” Pinkie Pie thought back to the meeting that they had had. Well, we didn’t talk a lot. What do I tell her? The first thing that came into Pinkies mind about the griffon shot out of her mouth.
“Oh, she was really mean, actually! I wasn’t surprised, because I hear that Griffons eat ponies! I didn’t say anything about it, though.” Pinkie Pie immediately regretted the lie as soon as she said it. Gilda hadn’t shown any signs of being a mean griffon, and if Rainbow Dash liked her.. then she couldn’t have been that bad!
“Oh my!” Rarity exclaimed, her mane bouncing to the dramatic movements that the unicorn was making with her head. “I never expected that! I hope I don’t run into her- She sounds like an absolute brute.” Pinkie Pie was about to explain she actually didn’t know when the phone in Rarity’s boutique began to ring. The unicorn’s horn glowed with grayish-pink light as she pulled the phone over with her magic, pulling up the headpiece and answering it.
“Hello? Oh, yes. Yes, definitely! Really, by next Thursday?” The pony engaged into conversation, waving Pinkie Pie away with a rather rude gesture. Pinkie Pie’s ears drooped. Another friend I can’t play with. And with that, she left the boutique.
Walking about, the small pink equine pondered the possibilities. I can’t go to Applejack now, she’s all angry at me! And Rarity’s being a meany-pants.. Rainbow Dash is busy- I know! I’ll go see Twilight Sparkle! The frizzy-maned mare bounced off in search for her flowery unicorn friend.
Pinkie Pie hopped through the door of Twilight Sparkles tree house, trotting past the downstairs library and whisked up the stairs. She found Twilight sleeping in a cozy-enough looking bed, looking exhausted. A pile of open books were on top of her, and she was snoring louder than Pinkie Pie thought she was capable of. Her messy purple fringe fell in her face, and her lavender body was scarcely visible under the pile of duvets she was under. Her face looked extremely disconcerted, Spike was curled up in the crook of her stomach, their purple colours schemed perfectly. The green spines on his back were flat and his tail was curved into his stomach. He looked much like a sleeping puppy with his owner. Pinkie Pie smiled, a feeling of warmth igniting within her from seeing this adorable sight. I’ll just wait for them to wake up.. Pinkie Pie grabbed a pink-and-green book off Twilight’s chest, flipping it over to a random page and beginning to read it.
The page appeared to contain some sort of spell. It was in the older Equestrian language, but Pinkie Pie could make out but a couple of words- The word dream here, the word future there, the word ancestor dabbled back and forth. Luckily, it was illustrated(Pinkie Pie didn’t know Twilight read picture books!). There was a picture of a unicorn, seemingly casting some sort of spell. Another of the same unicorn curled up in sleep, and the last one at the bottom was much like the one above it, except the unicorn had a thought bubble on top of it and a picture of a very old unicorn inside it. Hm.. future, ancestor, and dream? Is Twilight trying to see the future? Pinkie wondered, glancing at her purple pony pal. She looked very content now, her face settling into a small frown, her cheekbones obtuse and her eyes squeezed tightly shut. I wonder what she’s looking at? Pinkie Pie took a step towards Twilight, resting her chin on the unicorns chest and watching her flanks rise up, down. Up, down. The curly-maned pony sighed. This wasn’t how I wanted to spend my day.. The earth pony just watched Twilight Sparkle, staring at her eyelids. She kept in this position for what seemed like forever, but in actuality was only an hour and a half. During this time, Pinkie had inched closer, and closer, and closer to Twilight until she was touching muzzles with the pony, keeping her gaze on her eyelids. The pair of purple blinds fluttered open, revealing a pair of deep indigo eyes. The lavender unicorn sat up straight in her bed, pushing both her Amethyst duvet and the pink earth pony off of her, shouting in surprise.
“Ahh!- Oh, Pinkie Pie! ..What are you doing here?” Twilight slowly got out of the bed, looking at Pinkie Pie curiously.
“Oh, you’re awake! What was that suuuuper-cool, uber-neat spell you were doing in your sleep?” Pinkie Pie asked excitedly, beating around the bush of Twilight Sparkles question.
“Oh, it’s a—“
“Is it a spell to see the future? Huh huh huh?” Pinkie Pie took three steps forward, pressing her nose against Twilight Sparkles. The surprised unicorn took a step backwards, only finding the wall of her tree behind her.
“Yes, actually. I found a spell in one of my books that supposedly shows you the future.” The lavender pony restated everything she had learned from her slumber.
“I also learned that by next year..you’llbedead.” Twilight trailed off at the last part, mumbling softly. Pinkie Pie frowned, bouncing closer to her.
“What’s that, Twilight? I couldn’t hear you!” She angled one ear towards the unicorns mouth, listening closely.
“By next month you’ll be dead.” Twilight covered her face with a hoof, half expecting Pinkie Pie to lunge at her. Pinkie Pie shook her head, her ears flopping from side to side.
“Twilight, I still didn’t hear you!”
“By tomorrow you’ll be dead!” Twilight flinched, taking a step back. The pink earth pony just laughed nervously, her sky blue eyes shimmering uneasily.
“Haha! That’s silly. There’s no reason for me to die!” The unicorn frowned.
“Look at the evidence, Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy’s gone. Who next?” Her tone was serious. Oh no, she’s not kidding around! Pinkie Pie turned around.
“Okie Dokie Lokie! We’ll just have to see, I guess.. Buh-bye Twilight!” Pinkie Pie hopped down the stairs and out of the treehouse. That was odd. Oh well, Twilight can’t be a smart smartie-pants all the time! A smile crossed Pinkie’s face as she bounced along, passing through the town square. It was quiet. Too quiet, actually. The town square was full of ponies- why not loud, too? Ponies were all gathered around, and they seemed to be talking about something- something urgent. Pinkie Pie spotted a purple-and-white coat, she dbounced over to Rarity.
“Rarity, what’s going on?” The magenta mare asked, curious. Raritys eyes lit up in delight.
“Pinkie, I’m glad you’re here! I was thinking, and I thought that we could drive that revolting griffon.. Grina, was it? Ah, no matter. Drive her out of Ponyville!” Pinkie Pie’s mouth dropped. Oh, no! This isn’t going to turn out well! Not. At. All! Looking up, Pinkie Pie could see a brownish figure and a blue figure soaring through the sky, both settling on the cobblestone street outside the town square. Rainbow Dash exchanged a few words with the griffon, then took off again. The griffon began to walk towards town square, curious what was up. As she walked, the crowd of ponies parted to let her through, horrified expressions on their faces. Murmurs of “It’s the griffon!” and “Pinkie Pie said that she was a monster!” Rang throughout. The griffon picked up on every phrase said- most of them containing the name of a certain frizzy-maned pony.
“Who’s this Pinkie Pie I’m hearing about?” The griffon demanded, growling angrily. How dare they talk about her like that! The ponies all pointed at a small pink filly with frizzy maroon mane, her eyes reflecting the colour of the sky.. and fear. “You dweeb! How could you talk about me like that? You’re so lame! At least Rainbow Dash was cool! I thought all ponies were nice, but you’re just a loser!” The griffon roared, blowing Pinkie Pie’s hair backwards. Said pony stepped forward to the griffon, rage crossing her face.
“I’m not the loser! YOU are!” She walked forward, sizing up to Gilda and pushing her backwards. “Because you’re stealing Rainbow Dash from me! You’re just a big, fat, mean… MEANIE-PANTS!” Pinkie Pie growled with the same tone the winged lion had used, her blue eyes flashing with blinding rage. Without thinking it over, the pink pony lunged forward and bit the griffon on a paw, twisting it and flipping the lionesque creature over. The griffon screeched in pain, but got to its feet anyway. While Pinkie Pie was attached to her paw, Gilda raised her up and slammed her into the ground, her legs shaking with the effort. The two creatures soon became a writhing, screaming, dust-spraying cloud of claws, beaks and hooves.
“You stole her!” Pinkie Pie screamed, latching onto Gildas tail and pulling it as hard as she could. Gilda pulled her tail(and the magenta equine) out in front of her, slamming her into the ground.
“I did not!” She growled as they tussled. “You’re just a stupid, dumb, DWEEB!”
Rainbow Dash kicked out the last cloud, watching it evaporate into dust and water vapor. Ten seconds flat! She thought proudly, floating easily towards Ponyville. Looking down, her eyes widened. In the town square, ponies were gathered in a circle, all seemingly chanting something. Their expressions were unknown to Rainbow, as she couldn’t see from her point of vision. A party? Without me? The Pegasus fluttered her way over.
The ponies in town square were all cheering Pinkie Pie on, but despite the encouragement, she was losing. Gilda picked up the weak equine, flapping her large wings once, twice. The two animals soared up, higher and higher, until they reached the cloud tops. Rainbow Dash looked over and saw them. Gilda? What’s she doing with Pinkie Pie? The sky-blue Pegasus shot over, arriving just in time to hear Gilda whisper in Pinkie Pies ear,
“Sweet dreams.”
And then she dropped.
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Interesting concept, especially for someone that likes Grimdark like me...but it needs a LOT of work. Chapters 1&2 are the same; probably a minor upload error. The actual writing isn't necessarily poor; your descriptive ability is pretty good. However, the characters are a little off. Applejack snapping on Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie eating an entire orchard...it's all just a little overdone. Reign their personalities in a little. As for the plot...it seems like you're just summarizing episodes with a grim twist at the end. There's nothing wrong with AU, nor written recaps of episodes...but it's just not interesting when there's nothing to distinguish the AU from the source material except a random, unjustified death. Maybe adding in a few twists or so to explain why the story diverges from it's original path in a dark direction would be beneficial...? However, it is your story, and you're free to do what you want.
A beta reader would be a good idea to catch small errors, as well as let you know when you're getting out of character or being excessive. Not trying to tear you down or anything...just a couple of suggestions. Good luck. : )
336
No, thank you! :D The interface on this website is hard to use, which is probably why I screwed up with the chapters. XD The advice you gave is sound, and I'll get working on it. But as for the beta readers.. o.e I haven't been able to get any. Literally I've emailed a handful of people and none seem to like ponies. XD
If it's supposed to follow the canon timeline, maybe you should post chapter 3 before 2, and change the current chapter two to match the fact that Pinkie's probably gone.
This hasnt been updated for a long time...
fashion-writings.com/img/vo/other-guy-in-jizzed-in-my-pants/I_jizz_in_my_pants_by_HOLIMOUNT.jpg
354 I'll beta. GRIMDARK might not be my favorite genre when dealing with the Mane 6, but... FO: Eq and it's branches of stories are a great love of mine, heh heh. So, I could Beta for you. (Don't really know what it's like to beta, PM me with any details you'd like to discuss beforehoof!)
Yeah...Gilda is not the read meaniepants,PINKIE IS
I wish you would continue this endeavor. It's interesting. But I also feel I can guess the deaths of those left. Rarity barbecued by dragon(you can guess why), Applejack, probably a fight with a buffalo endin with her headfirst on some train tracks. Twilight's end would probably be a magic explosion. Eprove me wrong...I dare ya.
Um...when you gonna finish this buddy? I'd like to see what you've done.
4 stars...only because you havent uploaded in quite some time, other than that im following and reading along
, even if the stories take place in different episodes, like chapter 2 taking place after 3, it felt a bit weird to read the 2nd chapter where rainbow dash "supposedly" dies, and shes in the 3rd, i think they need to be reversed.
I freaked out big time.
Why you ask? Because I'm that type of person who is overprotective of a cartoon character.
In this point, Pinkie Pie.
Did I mention that my step sister had to pin me down for about 10 minutes due to my gigantic freak out?