Life at Canterlot High

by Down with Chrysalis

Episode 17: Trap'em! Film'em! Get The Proof!

True to form, my inquiries were merely met with more awkward silence as their pea sized brains began to reboot. I didn’t know why they chose now of all times to confront Shimmer, but the timing couldn’t have been worse. Plus I was still pissed at Rainbow for even considering I was guilty (for some reason I couldn’t fathom) and that I didn’t want to deal with any of Pinkie’s or Rarity’s shenanigans. For their part though, they did seem to become more subdued when I appeared…but Pinkie seemed off. She looked upset, but not to the point of crying, and her hair seemed straighter than normal.

I wouldn’t even be surprised if her hair responded to her emotional state, I thought tiredly just as Sunset broke the silence.

"About time your ass showed up Bacon! Tell your loser friends to take a hike before we lose anymore daylight,” she commanded in a huff. In the corner of my vision, I saw Derpy and Hindsight shrink even more behind Sunset as Pinkie and her friends returned their gazes back towards the bully.

Huh, almost looks like she’s the one protecting them, I thought at the unusual scene before I responded back with my usual snark.

"Well excuse me princess, if I had known these three were here I would have just stayed home and avoided all this hassle."

"Did...did you seriously just reference that Legend of Zelda cartoon?" She said with a tone dripping with disbelief.

"Wait, you actually got that reference? Did you actually watch that stupid show?" I asked with a raised brow, which only caused Sunset's cheeks to flush in embarrassment.

"What!? No of course I didn’t! But every stupid parody video on Youtube has it in some way or another,” she pointed out.

“…You watch stupid youtube videos too?” I asked in complete surprise.

“I’ve actually seen the actual cartoon, it’s terrible,” Hindsight spoke up.

“Really? I’ve seen some episodes online, I thought it was pretty good,” Derpy said meekly. She then let out a slight eep when all three of us looked at her in scrutiny. "What? I meant what I said! I like anything with Link in it!"

“Derpy…” I said in disappointment as me and Sunset shared a disappointed glance. “You can like a character, but that doesn’t mean you have to like the worst version of the-“

"WAIT A MINUTE! What are you all talking about?!” Rainbow shouted, interrupting our discussion.

"Oh right, the Pinkie Brigade is still here," I muttered to myself as I turned back towards them. “We’re talking about horrible 80’s cartoons Skittles. The real question is, what the hell are you doing here?”

“What am I-We came to rescue you you dolt!” she growled.

“Huh?”

“A lot of people saw you in her car with Derpy and…whoever that guy is,” she said pointing to the nerd.

“I’m Hindsight,” he waved nervously, but was ignored.

“So we came to get you before she tortured you or whatever,” she finished.

“Are you serious?” Sunset groaned and I failed to stifle a chuckle.

“See, told ya I’m not the only one to think like that,” I quipped and she frowned even more before I turned my attention back to Rainbow. “But seriously Skittles, Condiment Head isn’t kidnapping or torturing anyone…physically at least.”

"Bacon!"

“But mental warfare isn’t something you need to worry about, so please kindly leave before she turns the sprinklers on or something,” I finished, and the three girls just looked at me in shock. Rarity at least took that threat at face value and immediately scampered off the grass nearer to Dash’s death mobile.

"Wait...so you’re all here willingly?” Rainbow asked dumbfounded and I rolled my eyes.

“Yes Rainbow. Unlike you and Pinkie, Shimmer doesn’t take people anywhere against their will,” I jabbed and felt some satisfaction in seeing the two of them wince.

“But I…” Hindsight started to speak up, but was silenced by a double glare from me and the red headed mean girl.

“I…Wha…But she…” Rainbow’s mouth sputtered as if I’d shattered her entire world view.

“See, it’s just like I told you Dash, now get your stupid car off my driveway!” Sunset ordered, feeling vindicated.

“But Mr. Bacon, why would you willingly go with her?” Rarity asked as she looked just as lost.

“Because we’re trying to clear our names and find out who framed us, duh!” I bonked my forehead mockingly for emphasis and she grimaced.

“Framed? Her?” Dash sputtered in disbelief and Sunset glowered even more.

“Mr. Bacon, we know your innocence is assured, but are you suggesting she had nothing to do with the crime?” Rarity asked.

"For the last time you snobby bitch, I would never mess with the Wondercolt!” Sunset bared her teeth and the purple haired girl flinched back. “I am loyal to it and the school just as much as you!”

Spoken like a true cultist, I mentally quipped.

“Oh, like you have a right to talk about loyalty for anything!” Rainbow snarled back.

“I concur. We all know you would throw anything under the bus to save your pride,” Rarity agreed, and Sunset’s fists clenched tightly as her face started to become as red as her hair.

"Alright look you two, Shimmer didn't mess with the stupid statue you all love so much, okay?!” I interrupted with a bit of heat. “We both got framed and now we both are one step closer to figuring out who actually did it, so cut it out with your little lynch mob tactics!”

They all looked at me, surprised by the anger in my voice. They weren’t the only ones.

Huh...where did that come from? I wondered as I looked back at a shocked and grateful looking Sunset. Was them hounding on her even though she’s innocent what got to me…? Nah. I’m probably just annoyed about their time wasting… I rationalized.

“She…didn’t do it?” Pinkie all but whispered in a hollow sounding voice, far from her usual tone.

“No, she didn’t,” I said with finality and she looked back down at her feet, looking guilty again.

“Mike, why are you defending and being all chummy with her?” Rainbow asked as if she couldn’t grasp what was happening. “Even if she didn’t do it she’s still a massive jerk who helps the Dazzlings all the time!”

At that statement, Sunset looked about ready to hop off her porch and tear Rainbow’s neck out with her teeth, so I got in front of her before a homicide could occur.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, she hates the Rejects even more than I do.

"First off Skittles, me and her are anything but chummy. We're just tolerating each other till we clear our names, which would be a lot sooner if you hadn’t of come here full of piss and vinegar. Secon-"

"Wait, you guys figured out who messed with the Wondercolt!? Who was it?!”

Pointedly ignoring Rainbow's interruption I sent her a glare as I continued,

"Secondly, none of this is your business. So hurry up and leave already, we've wasted enough time as it is."

"Not our business!?” she growled as her confusion was replaced by anger. “We're your friends Mike, so you getting framed for a crime you didn't commit makes it our business! Do you have any idea how worried we've been?"

“Uh, no?” I said truthfully which caused her eye to twitch.

Although I’m pretty sure Applejack is anything but worried. Probably hooping and hollering or whatever country girls do in celebration, I thought. Before Rainbow could say more, Sunset began to laugh mockingly, which earned her ire.

"And what's so funny Shimmer?" she demanded.

“Besides your face? Nothing much except that bold faced lie,” she guffawed causing Rainbow to heat up.

“What lie?!”

“The part about you being his friends and being worried,” she handwaved. “I mean really? Do you actually buy that?”

“Yes! That’s not a lie!” she stood her ground and Sunset rolled her eyes.

“Oh please, the closest thing this guy’s got to a friend is her,” she dismissed pointing to Derpy who shrunk back again. “She’s done more to help us than anyone, and even then it’s only because Mr. Distorted assigned her to be our babysitter.”

“Uh, that’s not the only reas-“ Derpy started, but was promptly ignored.

“But that’s not true, we all-“

“Rainbow, just give it a rest would you? You know she’s not wrong,” I said with a tired sigh. A look of utter betrayal and shock overtook Dash’s face at that, which momentarily took me off guard. “S-So just leave this to us alright? Go on home an-“

“Now wait just one minute Mr. Bacon!” Apparently I must have touched a nerve, or just finally reached the limit of Rarity’s ability to deal with my assholeness, because she stomped uncomfortably close to me.

“Now while it is true that I haven’t been exactly keen on being your friend, that holds no meaning when it comes to your affect on my friends!” Rarity angrily said as she got up in my face.

Whoa! Too close, way to close you prissy annoyance! Back off! I thought angrily, but of course, she wasn’t a mind reader.

“My friends care about you even if I can’t wrap my head around why! Twilight has been a nervous wreck, Rainbow has been glaring daggers at the air nonstop for the entire week and Pinkie...” Rarity loosely gestured behind her at the disheveled and unhappy girl, “has been like this the entire time! Even poor Fluttershy seems more nervous than usual.”

But why though? I’ve been nothing but an asshole to you guys! And who the hell is Fluttershy!? I thought in panic as I took a few steps back and she continued her advance. Eventually my back hit Sunset's porch as Rarity moved in for apparently the final blow.

“So like it or not Mr. Bacon, this whole Wondercolt travesty is our business. The sooner you’re proven innocent the sooner the others can stop worrying over a brute like you!” she finished, poking me in the chest for emphasis.

I was honestly at a loss for words. Of all of Pinkie’s friends, I would have expected it to be Rainbow Dash or Applejack to come at me this hard, not the fashionista.

“I…” I blathered as I fought to untangle my thoughts, but before anything else could happen, a hand snatch Rarity’s finger and yanked it off of me.

“He gets it!” Sunset said dangerously as she glared eye to eye with Rarity.

Wha…? I became lost once more. Did…did she defend me?

“Hmmph! Does he?” Rarity huffed as she pulled her hand from Sunset’s grasp.

“Yes,” Sunset seethed. “He said he doesn’t want you here, and I wholeheartedly agree.”

“But he doesn’t know what he’s talking about Sunset!” Rainbow called out.

“Oh I’m sure he does. And please, you’re worried about him? You’re all just pissed like everyone else because of the Wondercolt,” she argued.

Y-Yeah…that sounds right, I thought in agreement as I got my mind under control.

“That’s not the only reason,” Rarity countered.

“Or maybe they just felt they had to walk back their stupidity because they bought that B.S. Dazzling gossip about me being the culprit,” I said with conviction as I got off from the porch and moved forward while Rarity’s eyes widened. “Don’t try to deny it, I know all of you did. And now you’re doing this ridiculous play to ease your mind after doing nothing about it.”

"Oh come on man! You know that's not fair!" Rainbow blurted out.

"Fair?” I said mockingly. “What do you mean by that?”

“What do I mean by that!?" Rainbow squawked in outrage as her hands curled into fist. "We tried to apologize to your dumb ass this whole week, but you kept blowing us off whenever we tried! You can't just act like we all just decided to ditch you over it! I mean, I realized I was wrong as soon as I talked to you about it!'

Wow, she really doesn't know when to quit huh? Talk about being as stubborn as a mule.

"Please, like I wanted to listen to a bunch of half-assed apologies just so you all could keep face," I rolled my eyes.

"We-I wasn't trying to apologize to save face you jerk! I still feel bad about doubting you! You can't just think our apologies were going to be fake without hearing us out."

"Right, and Adagio isn't bitchy evil incarnate,” I scoffed with a shake of my head. “No one ever gives a sincere apology, they’re just excuses to keep a person’s social standing high without looking like a major jerkoff."

Instead of another angered reply like I was expecting, Rainbow instead seemed to lose her fire as she just stared at me with a dumbfounded look.

That's right, be confused by my sudden shoving of the truth into your ignorant face! I thought smugly with a small grin...which I almost immediately lost when she and Rarity looked at me with pity.

"Dude...you don't think that's really why people apologize right?"

The hell’s with that look? I'm just speaking the truth of society here, not like I just spilled some crappy sad backstory!

Even still, both she and Rarity looked at me as if a bus had just hit me. Even Derpy, Hindsight and even Sunset were giving me disbelieving looks.

“Mike…” Rainbow sighed with pity.

"Look it doesn't matter whether you can accept the real world or not. I know you guys like trespassing on my property but I’m sure Sunset won’t hesitate to call the co-AH!” I cut myself off with a yelp of shock as I came face to face with sad blue eyes. "What the, how did you get behind me!? I-that doesn't-how!?" I stammered out in confusion as I looked back and forth from where Pinkie was before and where she was now.

There's no way she could have gotten behind me without me noticing, I was practically staring at her and her little group this whole time! But once again, no one even batted an eye at this seemingly teleporting girl, although at least Hindsight had the courtesy of giving a double take.

“No really, how did you get behind me?” I repeated as she just stared at me with tired, sad eyes. “I looked away for less than a second and you-AGH!” I was interrupted for what felt like was millionth time, but not because she spoke up. Oh no, it was far worse the way she managed to interrupt me. See pinks for brains decided to pull me into a hug, which was not as bone crushing as in the past, but was still majorly unwanted!

"Dammit Pinkie! What did I say about hugging!? You better let me go or I swear I'm getting a restraining or-"

"I'm sorry Mikey."

And just like when Sunset pried Rarity’s fingers off of me, I was at a loss for words. Not because she apologized, because I figured she would do that at some point, as was her custom, but because of how she said it; a dull, genuine tone full of somberness and regret with not even a wisp of her usual cheer. The same tone that came from my phone after The Party.

A tone that I, for some reason, did not like coming out of her usual chatterbox of a mouth.

"Uh..." I responded oh so eloquently, which thankfully ended the hug.

"I know it was wrong for us to jump to conclusions like that, especially since we've been trying so hard to be your friend,” she said with that same tone. “I know you probably won't accept this apology since you don’t believe in them but..." She closed her eyes and gave a sad smile as she finished, "I hope you can at least think about it and talk to us again."

“Uh…” I drawled out again, my snark and comebacks failing to rise to the occasion. Sensing an opening no doubt, Rainbow put a hand on my shoulder and said in a similarly hollow voice,

"Yeah Mike, and besides, I'm the one who set you off in the first place, so if anything you should just be angry at me and not the others. I'm sorry too man, and I mean it."

They…they sound like they mean it too, I thought in a moment of weakness, before I was thankfully saved by Sunset again.

"Look, can you save all this mushy crap for later, or at least do it away from me? You can all have your happy pow-wow later, we're in the middle of something and we've wasted enough time on you losers!" Sunset said sounding very annoyed, her face looking like she was physically pained to see the sappy after school special. She had apparently made her way back up her porch steps since stopping Rarity, but I didn't pay much attention to that at the moment.

"Darling please, can you not ruin the moment? Have some tact, if you have any in that cavity of rudeness you call a brain!” Rarity insulted.

"Oh you wanna talk smack you prissy hussy?! Why don't you come over here and say that to my face?!"

And thanks to their little outbursts, I came back to my senses.

Ugh! I forgot Pinkie was a master manipulator! Quit trying to draw on emotions that aren’t there! I mentally shouted…but I still couldn’t voice those thoughts. Even though I knew her mind games and her ruthless determination, a part of me just couldn’t insult Pinkie while she wasn’t smiling. Whether from fear of making her cry again or something else, I couldn’t do it. God damn it, this town is getting to me. I can't believe I'm doing this..but at least I can lay down the rules on my terms.

“Alright, alright, I forgive you and stuff,” I relented with a sigh that even stopped Rarity and Sunset’s argument. “There, I said it. Now tell the others to not hassle me about it okay?” Even though I had only given the bare minimum of emotional effort and clearly sounded disingenuous, they both smiled at that. And like a switch Pinkie's demeanor did a complete one-eighty as her hair got poofier and she regained her annoyingly bright smile.

Did her hair just inflate? What th- "ACK!"

I once again found myself in one of Pinkie's death hugs as she jumped up and down like a kangaroo.

"Oh I knew you'd forgive us Mikey!" She cheered while gripping me tighter. "Well, not really forgiven with that tone and all, but at least you’re talking to us again which is great cause then we can bond and slowly make you forgive us for real over time and-gasp! We should totally throw you a 'Talking Again With My Sorta Friends' party an-"

"Uh Pinks, you may want to let him go before we have to throw him a 'Afterlife' party."

Pinkie blinked owlishly at Rainbow's comment before looking at me, and seeing that most of my face was now an unhealthy shade of blue.

"Hehehe...sorry about that Mikey,” she chuckled nervously as she dropped me like a sack of potatoes.

Oh sweet oxygen, never leave me again!

“Pinkie dear, you really have to pay attention to these sorts of things if you want to make any progress at all,” Rarity admonished the pink sugar factory.

Yeah, no kidding!

And while I was slowly getting back up on my feet while breathing deeply, Sunset was clapping slowly and sarcastically.

"Great, you're all pals again,” she deadpanned. “And since there’s clearly no reason for you to be here now, get in your car and-“

"Nope!" Pinkie interrupted brightly causing all of us to look at her incredulously.

"…I think I might be hearing things, but did you just say 'no' to me you pink little psycho?" Sunset asked sharply.

“No, I actually said ‘nope’ just like Big Macintosh would,” she giggled and Sunset got even redder. “But in all seriousness, we’re not going to go. Mikey’s still in trouble, and we’re going to help him in any way we can.”

“Uh, Pinkie, it’d be more helpful if you let us-“ I tried to interject but was interrupted like usual.

“Even if it means working with you Sunset, we’ll do all we can to prove his innocence…which might be a bit tough since we thought you were one of the schemers…”

“Oh for-I don’t need your help! We don’t need your help!” Sunset emphasized while gesturing to me, Derpy and Hindsight. “We’ve already gotten enough evidence on our-“

“Evidence! That’s right!” Pinkie interrupted, frustrating the bully. “We’ll look for clues and stuff like real detectives! We’ll be The Super Investigation Team!”

“That’s alright, we don’t-“ I uselessly tried to say again.

"But we can't be the Investigation Team, we don't have any Personas,” Derpy spoke up and Pinkie pointed at her.

“Hmm, good point,” Pinkie conceded.

Wow, I didn’t even think of that, you’re sure quick on the references Derpy, I thought impressed.

“Um, why can’t we be called that?” Hindsight asked the blonde girl. “It’s just a game name right?”

"Copyright infringement is a really serious thing nowadays," she said as if it were obvious.

"Wha-what does that have to do with any-" Sunset started to say, only to interrupted by Pinkie who now had a rather thoughtful look on her face.

"Oooh! I know, how about the Mystery Incorporated!?"

“That’s literally Scooby Doo Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash pointed out.

"Oh, then how about Pinkie and the Wondercolts?"

"That’s also too close to a cartoon name,” Rarity responded.

Of course Rarity would watch that show, I thought with a role of my eyes.

"Okay, how about the Clue Club?"

"That’d be too hard to say fast," Derpy criticized.

"Drat,” Pinkie snapped her fingers in frustration. “Hey Dashie, you got any ide-"

"UGH! Enough already, why do you keep getting us off track you annoying pink nutcase!?" Sunset shouted.

“I ask that question every time I talk with her and I still am no closer to finding out the answer,” I muttered to her.

"Oops, sorry about that Sunset,” Pinkie giggled before a stoic look of determination crossed her face. “But whatever we’re called, we’re going to help our friend, and there’s nothing you can do to stop us!”

Once again it looked like Sunset was going to chip a tooth with all that grinding, but I couldn’t exactly blame her. Pinkie was persistent and there was no chance of getting her to leave now.

Maybe I should have waited to kind of forgive her? I thought in dread as I imagined her wasting all of our time till the very end where Luna would lead us to the gallows.

“How many times do I have to say it?!” Sunset seethed. “We. Don’t. Need. Your. Help!”

"I don't know Sunset,” Derpy spoke up, pulling on her sleeve. “I mean what if there’s more framers than what you, Me and Michael can handle? It couldn’t hurt.”

Sunset's head snapped towards Derpy as she growled out,

"Well if I wanted your opinion Derpy I would...have...."

For some reason Sunset slowly trailed off as Derpy let out an eep and hid behind a very disturbed looking Hindsight. Sunset blinked a few times at that before she let out a long, exhausted sigh.

"You know what, fine! Whatever! We could use the extra muscle anyway. Maybe Pie’s laughing will drive them insane,” Sunset grumbled out with a voice dripping in defeat as Derpy smiled.

Huh, looks like Derpy's become a weak spot for her...not that I'm one to talk either.

I wisely kept that thought in my head as Pinkie let out a squee and ran up the steps of Sunset's porch and grabbed both of Sunset’s hands.

"Oh I knew there was still some niceness left somewhere in your dark heart Sunny! We are going to make the bestest mystery solving team ever!"

"First off, don't touch me," Sunset growled as she shoved Pinkie off of her before continuing, "And secondly don’t call me Sunny like we’re friends. You’re a tool and a pawn, nothing more.”

Pinkie just gave Sunset a cheery grin as she said with a mock salute,

"Whatever you say Sunset! Let's catch those nasty perps!"

"I'm staying too," Rainbow said with a similar look of determination that Pinkie had, causing Sunset and I to groan.

God damn it, Rainbow no! Just let the situation end!

“Of course…” Sunset sighed and shook her head. “Still the same lemmings, following sugar high here when she willingly jumps off a cliff repeatedly.”

“Better than following you again…” Rainbow said tersely, and the both of them glared intently.

Again? I wondered briefly, but Rainbow continued.

“But even if Pinkie wasn’t here, even if it weren’t for Mike’s sake, I’d still like to get back at whatever jerk messed with our Wondercolt and maybe teach them a lesson or two,” she said with a cocky smile while cracking her knuckles.

“You know, if you keep doing that, you’re gonna have really bad arthritis in the future,” I warned with a roll of my eyes at the stereotypicalness of her attitude.

“Pfft! That’s just an old wife’s tale,” she waved off as I facepalmed. With a glance back at Derpy, Sunset sighed again.

“Fine, you can help punch them. But I get the first shot got it?!”

"Deal,” Dash said without hesitation.

Oh great, both of them pointed at a common enemy. Felonies are definitely being committed soon, I thought with dread.

“Great!” Pinkie cheered happily before we all looked to Rarity who just chuckled nervously. She had walked back over to Rainbow's car during the last few confrontations, and looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Oh no, you don't have to worry about me Darling. While I would love to see the scoundrels behind this heinous act brought to justice, being a detective isn't my style. I think I'll just have Rainbow take me home while you all bring these ruffians to justice."

"Oh come on Rares!" Rainbow exclaimed, "You’re telling me you don't want to give these jerks a piece of your mind?"

"I'm afraid not Darling, getting rough with some hooligans just isn't my thing,” she said with a shake of her head.

“Awww, but you said you’d help Mikey as well Rarity,” Pinkie pouted.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d be willing to help a friend of a friend Pinkie…but having to cooperate with someone like Sunset Shimmer is…” She didn’t have to finish that thought, because they all understood the implications.

“Heh, leave it to the hypocritical premadonna to bail out as soon as things get rough,” Sunset taunted.

"And what, exactly, do you mean by that?" Rarity demanded with hollow, dangerous eyes.

Sunset lazily looked at her nails as she dully said,

"Oh nothing, just that a prissy girl like you wouldn't dream of getting her pretty little hands dirty even if it meant catching the culprits who messed with our schools precious mascot."

"Oh it! Is! On!" Rarity growled out as she stomped towards Sunset's back towards porch, "A lady of my class will not stand aside while her honor is insulted by someone like you! Count me in on your little culprit hunt, and I'll show you just how willing I am to get my hands 'dirty!'”

“Hooray!” Pinkie cheered as she hugged her friend. As she did so, I caught a faint glimpse of a sly grin cross Sunset’s lips.

What? You goaded her into this? But why? I know you don’t want them around just as much as I don’t. Do you already have a plan Condiment Head?

Shrugging my shoulders and shelving that thought for later as I made my way up Sunset's porch steps, Rainbow following right behind me as I said,

“Alright, that may have taken like three days to get settled, but we’re all on the same page now. But since it’s our butts on the line, Shimmer and I are in charge okay?”

“Of course,” Pinkie said happily.

“As if there was any doubt,” Sunset rolled her eyes as she got her keys out of her pocket. "First I'm setting the ground rules for entering my home, then we can see which Crystal Prep snobs are getting a very unwelcomed visit from yours truly."

"CRYSTAL PREP!?" Pinkie, Rainbow and Rarity all yelped at the same time with wide eyes, nearly blowing out my eardrums.

"Oh right, you girls are going to love this. I'll tell you once Sunset finishes explaining the 'laws' of her castle."

---

"Those backstabbing bitches!" Rainbow shouted as she paced back and forth in the kitchen. In order to save precious time that had already been wasted on them, Sunset had revised her commandments to just one. Nobody went into her room period, though Derpy was an exception apparently because she had to help drag the evidence board down for the others. And while they did that, I gave the rest of them the rundown, and needless to say, they were less than pleased.

"I knew those Dazzlings were trouble, but even I didn't think they would stoop so low as to let someone take the fall for someone from Crystal Prep," Rarity said with a dazed look, yet still somehow sounding sophisticated.

I wonder if that's natural or if she had to train her voice to constantly sound like that?

"Are you kidding me!? They just broke the number one rule of the whole school! If they think they can get away with this scot free then they've got another thing coming!" Rainbow angrily growled out, looking like a rabid chihuahua.

“If Sunset and I go down, then yes, they will get off scot free and even get a parade because of their blackmail scheme,” I nodded as I tightened a knot around the chair armrest.

“Well we’re definitely not going to let that happen,” Pinkie said with conviction. “Those meanies at Crystal Prep are gonna be in sooo much trou-Oof! Hey Mikey, that one was a little tight!”

“I know,” I said without care as I finished the last of the knots securing Pinkie Pie to the chair. “But don’t whine, you’ll have enough blood flow and stuff.”

After securing the pink haired walking disaster per Sunset’s suggestion, Rarity seemed more than a little disturbed.

"Are you absolutely sure the rope is neces-"

"Yes!" Sunset interrupted as she came down the steps with Derpy. “The last thing I need is her running around my house breaking stuff!”

“Yeah, and I really don’t need Sunset going away for murder right on the cusp of proving our innocence,” I played devil’s advocate, helping her set up the evidence board. Not much was changed on it, besides the fact that Hindsight's picture was now on there along with the Dazzling's picture being moved off to the side with a Crystal Prep logo taking their place in the prime suspect circle.

“Well even so, you have to admit this is kind of a strange scene if someone were to see,” she muttered and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh it’s okay Rares!” Pinkie reassured. “It's kinda like we're playing a game and I'm the hostage telling the secrets of my organization to the enemy! Now quickly, someone start tickling me so I start giving out the secrets to the perfect gingerbread house!"

“…Is this not the first time you’ve been tied up?” I asked a bit weirded out and she smirked at me.

“Who knows? The only way I’ll tell is through torture!” she giggled and I backed up from her.

“…Kind of regretting I didn’t let you grab that straight jacket you mentioned,” Sunset muttered to me, equally weirded out.

“Why do you have that again?” asked Derpy.

“For this exact kind of scenario! It’s not weird!” I defended.

“EEEP!” we were all broken out of our discussion by the Flubber-esque cry that came from Hindsight as Rainbow glowered over him by the sink.

"And you!" Hindsight let out a eep of fear as he held his laptop up like a shield while Rainbow continued to growl out, "You actually let those Dazzle traitors do this just so you could score some date with Aria Blaze?!”

Hindsight gulped slightly before he stuttered out,

"W-Well when you pu-put it like that..."

"Alright Rainbow, reign it in and save it for the Dazzlings, Hindsight knows he screwed up, no need to add any salt to the wounds,” I said in a calming tone.

Rainbow let out a huff of angry air as she stormed over to Rarity and plopped down in the seat next to her.

“Mr. Bacon is right Rainbow Dash, there’s no point in harassing another for their gullibility,” Rarity soothed patting Dash’s back in an attempt to calm her down. Hindsight winced at that totally accurate statement before looking at me with gratitude.

"Th-thanks Michael," he sighed as his shoulder’s relaxed.

"Don't get too comfy man, I'm still pissed at you too,” I warned giving him a glare which ended his momentary feelings of peace. “So you better get to setting up that drone audio before I let Rainbow at ya.”

"R-right! I'll get right on that!" he stuttered as he set the laptop on the island counter and plugged his SD card into it.

“Oh hey Sunset, maybe we could bring your speakers down and plug them into his laptop for better audio?” Derpy suggested sweetly and Hindsight looked up at that.

“Oh, you have a speaker set up?” he asked with intrigue. “That actually would allow us to-“

“No! We’re not using them! It took us forever to set them up perfectly yesterday and I’m not going through that again!” she shot down and he winced.

“Er-Alright, alright, sorry,” he apologized and went back to his screen. At Derpy’s pout though, Sunset grimaced and shook her head.

“It wasn’t a bad idea, but it’s not…really convenient right now,” she excused and Derpy nodded, accepting the answer.

“Wow it’s strange to see her act like that,” Pinkie murmured and Sunset’s head snapped to her.

“What was that?!”

“I said, ‘Wow that’s strange, what is that?’” she gestured with her head out the kitchen sliding door towards the backyard.

“I believe that’s a step ladder Pinkie,” Rarity answered.

“LADDER! It’s just a ladder! No adjective is needed!” I shouted and they all looked at me funny.

“That was…” Rarity trailed off and Sunset sighed.

“Yeah I know, don’t even try to change his mind,” she shook her head.

“Okay, but why is that, er, thing going into your neighbor’s yard?” asked Derpy.

“Cause it’s quicker for him to get here than going around the block,” she answered and her eyes widened.

“Wait, Michael, that’s your house?” she asked in surprise.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Where do you think I went to drop my bag off when we got here?”

“Oh…huh, I guess that does make more sense,” the wall eyed girl agreed.

“Hold on a second here, you two are neighbors?” Rainbow asked snapping a bit out of her rage stupor.

“Unfortunately,” both me and Sunset said at the same time before looking at one another incredulously for the jinx.

“You didn’t know that Dashie?” Pinkie asked with a quirked brow. “Didn’t you recognize the back of Mikey’s house?”

“No, because I haven’t been back there.”

“Really?”

“Pinkie, you’re the only one who’s broken into my house from multiple entrances,” I scoffed. “And I find it creepy that you knew that that was my house with barely any details.”

“Eh, what can I say, it’s a gift,” she tried to shrug, but my ropes kept her from doing so.

“And you wonder why I avoid you guys,” I rolled my eyes, before making my way to the fridge. “Hey Condiment Head, you got any root beer left?”

"No Chicken Sauce, you drank all of them last night,” she scolded.

“Oh, right,” I said, remembering chugging a few down after she and I returned from our meeting with Sonata and planned out how to confront Hindsight.

“Wait a second, you were here last night?” Rarity asked in surprise.

“Yeah, most of the evening really,” I answered absently looking through the fridge’s contents.

“…And there’s a ladder connecting your yards?” she said slowly.

“Yes! We’ve been over this!” Sunset said in exasperation.

"Yeah, get with the times Rarity,” I scolded before my eyes lit with delight. “Oh sweet, Cherry Coke!”

“What?! No! The root beer was one thing, but not the Coke!” Sunset grunted, but I ignored her and cracked it open.

“Oops, my finger slipped. Better not let it go to waste,” I said in mock innocence as I started to drink.

“Oh screw you you wiry little weasel!” she huffed as she immediately reached around me and grabbed another can before I could get to it.

“Rather be a weasel than a hoarding pack rat,” I smirked as I took a sip.

"Bastard,” she insulted while pounding back her drink.

"Bitch,” I replied nonchalantly.

“Er… you two aren’t going to fight right now are you?” asked a nervous Derpy.

“Or, you know, something else?” Rarity asked with an insinuating tone.

Something else? I wondered briefly.

“Nah,” Sunset answered and walked away from me to the pantry. “If I fought him over all of his dickish ways, then we’d never get anything done.”

“I…I see…” Rarity said with narrowed suspicious eyes for some reason.

“Now, I’ve got some cookies and mixed nuts, you want anything fancier, you order it yourself!” Sunset declared.

“Oh boy, cookies!” Pinkie tried to bounce in her chair. “Dashie, toss them into my mouth like popcorn!”

“On second thought, no cookies,” Sunset changed her mind.

“Awwww,” Pinkie pouted.

"Okay, it’s uh, it’s ready,” Hindsight’s voice interrupted and we all looked to him. “I’m ready to play the audio when you are Ms. Shimmer.”

"About time, hurry up and play it so we can figure out whose ass needs kicking."

Hindsight nodded his head nervously before pressing play on his laptop. Almost immediately the room was filled with sounds of leaves rustling in the wind.

“So…tree people did this? Like Fluttershy’s hippie friend?” Pinkie asked dumbly and everyone shushed her.

“Just listen up, it’s coming…” Hindsight said as he looked at the timeline.

A few seconds later, a low, muffled voice was picked up, and god damn if the voice didn't sound very familiar.

"Honey, can you please hurry it up with those undergarments? I’ve gotten mustard on my new shirt."

Both mine and Sunset's eyes widened in recognition simultaneously at the haughty male tone.

Oh you have got to be fricking kidding me!

"Darling you know it takes time to knit perfection. Besides those peons at this school won't show up for a few more hours, we have plenty of time,” another familiar voice responded.

"Yes, well even so I'd rather get this washed before it becomes permanent. Father will be most displeased with me if I sully this silk, even if it was in pursuit of putting those two hooligans back in their place.”

Sunset looked like she could barely hold back her rage, while I wasn't too far behind her as my fists started to shake.

“Are you sure it’s wise to single them out? A prank on all of the Canterlot Clowns is one thing, but-“

“Don’t worry about it my dear, the love birds are simply getting their just deserts. Now hurry along, this filthy horse doesn’t deserve your best.”

After that there were a few moments of silence before Hindsight spoke up once again,

"Before and after that most of the audio was corrupted so that's the best I could get. I hoped that hel-Yikes!" Hindsight suddenly recoiled in shock, upon seeing our faces. We were both bleeding killing intent with such an intensity that it looked like we were ready to murder someone. Two someone's really.

"Uh...Mikey? You okay?" Pinkie's concerned voice reached my ears, but I still seethed.

"THAT'S WHAT THIS WAS ALL ABOUT?!" Sunset bellowed as she dug her fingers into her scalp.

"Sheesh Shimmer, warn a girl before you start yelling!” Rainbow scolded, clutching her chest.

“Oh dear,” Rarity muttered as Derpy grabbed Hindsight by the shoulders and slowly walked him back as Sunset began to vibrate.

"My reputation! My perfect record with the teachers! My revenge against the Dazzlings! All of it is at risk, BECAUSE SOME RICH ASSHOLES COULDN'T HANDLE BEING BEATEN ONE GOD DAMN TIME!" she screamed in anguish, and I was surprised she didn’t flip the table. After that outburst though, she squeezed her eyes tight and began trying to calm her breathing down.

“Uh, Michael, you guys recognize the voices?" Derpy asked me tepidly.

"Yeah...” I growled low, crushing my empty soda can. “You remember that stupid video of me and her in the theatre?”

Derpy nodded her head and Rarity's eyes widened in shock as she said,

"Wait, you don't mean those two were-"

"That moronic Crystal Prep couple from the video? Yeah, Ascot and Haughty Bitch,” I nodded as I sat up and walked to the evidence board.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me man!” Rainbow stood up from her chair. “These punks desecrated the Wondercolt because you got them kicked out of a movie?”

“Seems that way,” I grunted before looking to my fellow victim. “Sunset! Hey! What were those douchebag’s names?”

“I don’t know! All those upper class twits bleed into one entity for me!” she shot back as she huffed and puffed.

“It was Jet Set and Upper Crust if I remember correctly,” Rarity spoke up and I looked at her in surprise.

“You know them?”

“Well…more know of them,” she said sheepishly. “They’re acquaintances of Suri, so I’ve spoken with them before…not favorably I should add.”

“I wouldn’t think so,” I grumbled before I took out a pen and wrote their names in the prime suspect circle.

“I mean, I’ve done far worse and never had this kind of response! These twits are so petty!” Sunset still seethed. Through either shear bravery or stupidity, Derpy placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be alright, we know who it is now,” she said soothingly, and miracle of miracles, Sunset stopped panting as hard.

“Exactly,” Rainbow agreed. “And they are going to pay! Mike has been the school’s punching bag for a whole week because these jerks lost an argument they started!”

“That’s why Adagio felt confident in squeezing them for all they’re worth,” Hindsight said, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“With a motive this petty and utterly ridiculous, I should say that harlot could have them at her beck and call!” Rarity declared in outrage.

"Ridiculous? That's an understatement if I've ever heard one,” Sunset growled before she looked at me with a very malicious smile. “But they’re gonna regret messing with me. They’re going to wish they were blackmailed when we're done with them!"

“Oh definitely Condi, but we have to be smart about it too,” I pointed out. “Otherwise we’ll only be lashing out as we sink.”

“What are you two talking about? You’ve got the evidence, and you know who it is right? Why not take this to Vice Principal Luna tomorrow?” asked Derpy perplexed.

“Yeah, what she said Mikey,” Pinkie nodded. “You’ve got proof, so you shouldn’t hurt them on top of it.”

“But we don’t have good enough proof,” Sunset responded.

“Huh?” Rainbow gaped.

“We have about 20 seconds of choppy audio from some guy who can’t exactly prove his drone was where he said it was due to not coming forward immediately,” I said shooting a side glance at Hindsight. “Luna’s tits are being twisted by the school board, and they won’t believe just this audio, especially since it points to a school you all hate like a rival gang.”

“But it’s clearly the truth,” Rarity argued.

“The truth can be twisted every which way but loose. I know this all too well,” Sunset handwaved. “So no, we may recognize the voices, but others might not. We don’t have enough.”

“So where does that leave you guys? Taking revenge while you still get punished?” Rainbow asked at a loss.

“Oh hell no. We’ve still got three days Skittles,” I belittled. “And didn’t you notice the insane gleam in Condiment Head’s eye? She’s already got some ideas.”

“More like the outlines of a few ideas, but Chicken Sauce is right,” she nodded. “The only way we’re going to beat them, and give them some extra comeuppance, is if we get them to confess and for a wider audience to see it.”

“Heh, hit them with a viral video after that’s what started this whole mess…I like it,” I nodded with a smirk. “But how do we draw them out?”

“Remember what I said before about the skill for the tag?” she inquired.

“Yeah, you said it was expert level,” I answered.

“Exactly. And why would a rich boy have that much skill with spray paint, unless he was a part of a certain club that honed those talents?” she insinuated and my eyes widened in understanding.

“The Tagging Club…you think he’s got something in the exhibit?”

“Someone that stuck up and who loves to be the center of attention, there’s no doubt,” she nodded.

“Um, what do you guys know that we don’t?” asked Rainbow Dash and I looked at her right in the eye.

“We know where he’s going to be in two days,” I answered plainly.

“Really? Where?” asked Rarity, but it was Derpy who answered.

“Oh right, that Grafitti Art Competition thingy!” she chirped before looking to Sunset for assurance. “The one that our branch did the all nighter and proved they weren’t suspects right?”

“Exactly,” Sunset smiled back. “So we’ve got till then to set up a trap…”

"Yay espionage!" Pinkie suddenly cheered as she wrapped her arms around Derpy and Rainbow with a goofy smile.

There were a few moments of silence before I asked,

"Uh...how'd you get out of the rope Pinkie?"

Pinkie just smiled innocently and said nothing, leaving me both annoyed and genuinely afraid of the pink girl once more.

---

THE NEXT DAY

After another torturous day of school, we all got down to our prep work which we’d outlined the day before. Call it fortuitous, or just plain lucky, but Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity all had access to something that would bring our plan to fruition.

“Pay attention snob! If you’re going to fool that Preppie Douche, then you have to feel as though my arm is yours! Pretend you’re the one holding the spray can.” Sunset ordered from my backyard next to a canvas.

“Ugh, is this all really necessary?” Rarity complained as she stood next to Sunset.

“Yes,” Sunset said plainly as she drew a red line down the canvas with her spray paint. “If you’re going to be claiming this piece as your own, you have to give off the impression of the work that went into it. Anyone could look at the finished project and nod, but between two artists, it’s important to know the process.”

“Would Jet Set even pick up on that?” Rarity huffed and Sunset glared her down.

“Okay, let’s look at it a different way. When you show off one of your dresses to another seamstress, don’t you chat them up with all the different material and stitching and what not?”

Rarity’s eyes became enlightened by that as she finally understood.

“I see, so painters are the same way, and if I just boasted without details they would smell something fishy.”

“Exactly,” Sunset nodded and went back to spraying. “So watch as I make this fading shadow. The key to doing this without excess drips is to hold it at an angle and to slowly but surely ease on the pressure.”

“Remarkable. To think that such detail could come out of a simple can…” Rarity beamed, finally getting into the spirit.

I observed all of this from my own kitchen as I pulled some pizza bagels out of the oven.

“You know, it’s really weird how in synch those two are getting despite hating each other’s guts,” I pondered aloud.

“I know what you mean,” Hindsight nodded as he watched the two painting as well. “For one thing, I don’t think anyone’s seen Shimmer being cooperative like this for a long time either.”

“Eh, mutual threat of annihilation and all of that,” I shrugged as I gathered a plate of the snacks and motioned for the skinny boy to follow me back to the living room.

“I don’t think it’s just that,” he said academically, sitting down on my couch.

“Well if there is more, it doesn’t matter, we’re all on the same page for saving my skin,” I waved off and sat on my recliner. “Now, let’s get back to this experiment.”

“I told you, I’m better at RPG’s than fighting games,” he complained as he picked up his controller and we started playing Tekken.

“Yeah, well those aren’t two players. Besides, everyone’s got their own fighter that they excel at, we just have to find yours.”

And just like we’d been doing for the last hour, we began playing videogames because our roles in the pre planning were over till the next night.

The plan we’d come up with was pretty ingenious, and quite devilish if I say so myself. The Tagging Club’s art competition would be hosting a viewing for the different district pieces. Through some internet sleuthing (stalking) we found out that our dear Jet Set had indeed entered a piece and would be attending. And then the conspiracy formed.

Because while the group piece deadlines had been the day Sunset and I had been framed, the individual entries were allowed right up until the day of the expo, and we just so happened to have an expert on tagging in our midst.

“AGH! My Shoe!” Rarity shrieked.

“I told you not to stand there!” Sunset groaned.

“I really hope her acting is good because I doubt the only time she’s ever touched paint is on her fingernails,” I rolled my eyes.

“I guess, but why even claim it’s Rarity since Sunset already knows so much?” Hindsight asked.

“Because while Condiment Head may be an expert, her temper is as fiery as her hair. Also, the last thing Ascot is going to do is confess to one of the people he framed. Since Rarity can speak snooty, he might let his guard down when she pushes him.”

“Oh…I guess that makes sense,” he relented before wincing as I once again KO’d his character.

Since the fashionista had passing knowledge of our target, she’d been chosen to be our point woman in getting Jet Set to spill the beans. We would have her gush about the painting that would be entered under her name, and subtly argue with Jet Set till he fell into our trap.

“Wait a minute, the imprint and outline from your foot just gave me an idea!” Sunset said in elation.

“Oh well bully for you! These were designer brand I’d happened to get on a generous sale and-Ooh, that is interesting,” Rarity flip flopped and me and him shared a perplexed glance.

“…Well, at least it isn’t Pinkie Pie being shown the ropes,” I shrugged and started a new game.

“Oh she knows how to paint…just not artsy types though,” Hindsight defended weakly as he reluctantly chose another character.

Speaking of Pinkie, she was out right now handling her part of the plan. When we’d talked about capturing the confession on video and uploading it, Pinkie Pie had pointed out one major flaw. None of us had enough of a following to make a video go viral overnight.

“Wait, do YOU seriously not have internet followers?” I’d asked dumbfounded and she’d only smiled and shook her head.

“Nope, aside from sending out party invitations…I don’t really upload videos…”

That had surprised the hell out of me, since I figured someone as energetic and in your face as her would be vlogging about every single meal she ate.

“But there is someone in school who does have that kind of clout…” she’d said conspiratorially.

“I just hope that DJ chick agrees to go to the art show. From the videos I’ve seen from her, it doesn’t seem to be her jam,” I expressed with a bit of worry.

“Oh don’t worry about that, Vinyl got a lot of her gigs from Pinkie Pie, so there’s no doubt she’ll agree,” he reassured but I still scrunched my face up.

“And yet again, more weird names. Vinyl Scratch? That’s got to be an alias right?”

“Oh no, her stage name is DJ PON3.”

“I just…what is up with the names in Canterlot man? Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Upper Crust, these aren’t normal names! Why did your parents name you Hindsight?” I demanded and he flinched back.

“I don’t know, why did your parents call you Michael?” he countered.

“Because it’s a normal damned name! Ugh!” I grunted in exasperation, letting my guard down and allowing him to actually win a round.

“Hey, I did it!” he cheered and I rolled my eyes.

“That was a fluke, we’re playing Soul Caliber now.”

“Awwww,” he whined as I changed the games, but he continued playing despite his protests.

When it came to Hindsight, he had found a layout of the building where the art would be displayed with his freaky computer skills that I didn’t even pretend to understand, but other than that, he didn’t have much else to do until the day of the ambush came. Neither did I for that matter, which is why I was kind of unofficially watching over him. If the Dazzlings had found out that we’d gotten him to switch sides, then our plan would have fallen apart. So at the behest of a very convincing Sunset, he had called in sick. To avoid potentially curious inquiries from Adagio, after school Rainbow had ferried him to my house.

Speaking of Rainbow, even she had more to do than I did. Since she was loud, boisterous, and all around stupid enough to do so, she was currently taunting Crystal Prep students in person, boasting about how ‘Canterlot High’s art was going to kick their’s asses,’ or something like that. The main purpose of this was to rile the rich kids’ up, and to hype up Rarity’s entry. Using her name, the info would spread amongst her “acquaintances’ there and surely reach Jet Set.

If it were anyone else, I’d be certain they’d get their asses beat, I shuddered, remembering how eagerly she volunteered for that task.

“Oh, marvelous darling! It gives the impression that it’s shining like diamonds!” Rarity cooed from outside.

“Well if those jerks are gonna believe you made this, it’s best to give it some credibility. You’re all about shining jewels,” Sunset replied humbly.

“I still can’t believe you agreed to let them paint in your backyard,” he said.

“Agreed is one word for it,” I sighed, remembering how adamantly Sunset pushed me into allowing it, since my yard only had dirt, while hers was full of grass and plants that her parents would get upset if they got paint on them.

“Well even still, she asked first. Usually she just demands and goes ahead no matter what you say,” he pointed out.

“Yeah…she is acting a bit differently this last week,” I nodded. “Could just be the stress getting to her.”

“I don’t know,” he disagreed. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was acting how she used to. Back before that incident last year.”

“I keep hearing about that. Some vague event that changed everything last year that nobody’s willing to really explain. What happened?” I inquired and he stiffened at that and frowned.

“A lot of things happened that day, and not everyone knows all the exact details. But one of the big things that happened is that Sunset showed her true colors.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“Well…she didn’t used to be all mean and nasty. She used to be all nice and happy and always smiling because she was the most popular girl in school,” he explained.

“Condiment Head used to smile all the time? For real?” I gaped and he nodded.

“Mmhmm…but then on that day, everything changed. She publicly broke up with Flash Sentry, started revealing secrets people had told her, and then of course the worst thing…” he narrated.

“Which was…?” I pushed and he looked me dead in the eye.

“She made Pinkie cry,” he said plainly.

“…What?!”

“Yup,” he nodded. “After that, we all knew exactly what kind of person she was. The pretty popular girl was all just a façade.”

“Are you freaking kidding me? That’s the big event?!” I exclaimed as my brain began to hurt.

“Part of it,” he nodded.

“But…I…If you all cared about Pinkie that much, then why the hell does no one go after the Dazzlings?” I asked at a loss.

“Simple, they’ve never made her cry directly,” he explained.

“What?!”

“A lot of us in school know that they’re not exactly the nicest, but they’ve never hurt Pinkie.”

“The hell they haven’t! Remember that party a few weeks ago where I got feathered? That was Pinkie’s party! They hijacked it from her and no one cared! She even called me on the phone sounding on the verge of tears afterward!” I growled, causing him to sink back further in the couch in fear.

“W-Well…I wasn’t there you see, but uh…there’s a reason for-“

“How come they get a free pass for that?!” I demanded and he gulped.

“Because…their aggression was at you, and not Pinkie Pie,” he said and my eye twitched.

“And that means?”

“Uh…not a lot of people like you,” he admitted and I frowned. “I mean, the very first day you showed up, you made Pinkie cry, and not everyone was quick to forgive that.”

“Oh for-UGH!” I pulled at my hair and turned away from him. “Those are some stupid ass semantics right there!”

“Yeah, but it’s how a lot of people feel,” he continued. “And unlike Sunset, they don’t fear you because you stick to yourself. That’s why they were so quick to believe you were guilty.”

“Well, I guess despite that fear, they’ll take any excuse they can get to throw her and me under the bus,” I rolled my eyes.

“…A lot of people have wanted to do that to Sunset especially since last year,” he continued in a frank voice and I looked to him. “You made Pinkie cry for sure, but everyone knows that Sunset did far worse when she did it.”

“Because she openly did it instead of trying to decline an unwanted friendship?” I guessed and he scrunched his face a bit.

“There was that, but it’s also because of the betrayal factor.”

“Betrayal?” I asked and he looked at me inquisitively.

“You didn’t know?” he asked.

“Know what?” I asked gruffly.

“They used to be friends.”

I stared at him, not even trying to hide the shock on my face at that statement.

“…You’re kidding.”

“No, not at all,” he admitted.

“Pinkie and Shimmer?” I asked in disbelief.

“That’s right,” he nodded. “And the rest of them too. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, all of them were a squad since middle school. They all drifted apart before the incident, but Pinkie was the last to stick around.”

“I…that…that just doesn’t fit…” I said as my mind was blown, imagining Shimmer getting along with the walking headaches.

“What, you never noticed that they’re the ones beside you that are the most hostile to her?”

“I…Huh…” I thought back to their words and attitude about her and how it differed from the other sheep. “I guess my apathy just didn’t register that.”

“Yeah, well, there you go,” he shrugged as we began another match. “After the blow up, the dynamics in the school hierarchy changed, and then Twilight Sparkle came and Pinkie’s group kind of took her in as a replacement Sunset you could say.”

“Alright, I got to ask, why do you know so much about this?”

“Huh?” he said taken aback.

“You’re just a computer club geek right? How come you know so much about the inner workings of the school cliques?”

“It’s not like it’s not common knowledge,” he pointed out. “Literally everyone in school knows this except for you because you don’t talk to anyone.”

“Yeah, and for good reason, it wasn’t any of my damn business, and two I didn’t care,” I scoffed.

“But, I mean, you’re kind of in the middle of it now,” he responded and I sighed.

“Because I got dragged kicking and screaming into this mess. If Pinkie had just left me alone that day and let me read my Manga, I’d just be a fly on the wall.”

“I mean more because you’re dating Sunset now, and you should really know all the baggage,” he chuckled and I looked at him with a blank stare.

“The fact that I can’t tell if you’re joking or not really hurts my soul man,” I deadpanned and he smirked.

“I’m just saying, the way the two of you go at it sounds like the bickering of an old married couple,” he laughed and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, well that old stereotype is assuming the married couple hate each other’s guts, and that’s what it is, mutual hatred,” I explained. “We’re stuck working together because ‘Enemy of my enemy’ logic, but once this is all over, things will go back to normal. Her trying and failing to bully me, and me pissing her off by throwing her failures in her face.”

“…The way you say that so coldly and with certainty is disturbing you know?” he said with a pitying glance.

“Because I’m a realist, and optimism is more of a suggestion than anything else,” I waved off and he frowned.

“You know, if you were a more friendly person, you would be the envy of most of the school,” he shook his head in disappointment.

“Ha! Me? Yeah right,” I dismissed as I knocked his character out of the arena.

“It’s true,” he insisted. “For crying out loud, the short time you’ve been here you’ve constantly been surrounded by some of the prettiest girls in school! Not to mention you’re next door neighbors with Sunset Shimmer and have access to her house.”

“Yeah? Well guess what buddy, that hasn’t exactly worked out well for me now has it?” I argued with a scowl. “And I thought you all hated Condiment Head?”

“Well yeah, but she’s still like in the top five,” he defended and I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“Hindsight, buddy, you’re a smart guy right? Maybe you should start thinking with your bigger head more often?” I insulted and he scowled. “The only reason you’re wrapped up in this is because you idiotically thought you could score with Blaze after all.”

“Yeah, well…She’s hot,” he defended weakly, not meeting my eyes.

“That’s a lame excuse and you know it,” I scolded. “Look, I can admit that Blaze has got some legs for sure, Hell I can admit that the other Rejects, Pinkie and her friends and even Shimmer are attractive, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to be rid of them. A shiny sports car looks nice on the outside, but inside it could have rotten torn seats, sticky floors and garbage lying all around.”

“I know what you’re getting at, but come on man, look at me! Girls aren’t exactly lining up outside my door like they do for you, so I’d take any opportunity I could get,” he said pitifully.

“Again man, think more with your brain. Accepting an impossible dating offer from the school mafia is dumb no matter who you are.”

“Yeah, yeah I know…” he said guiltily and looked down. “I know I messed up and I’m beating myself for it…but I am just a guy.”

“That’s another lame excuse,” I scolded.

“Yeah I know, but come on. Haven’t you ever done something stupid for a girl?”

“Hurry up Mikey, he’s looking the other way, put it in your pocket.”

My hands clenched tighter around my controller making it creak as her voice echoed in my mind.

“No.” I answered tersely as I looked back at the TV.

“I, uh…Okay,” he gulped noticing my change in demeanor.

We played a few more rounds in silence, and he was no better at this fighting game than the last. But even still, I took no enjoyment from it as my mood had soured.

“I’m getting a drink. You pick the next game,” I grunted as I stood up and went into the kitchen.

“…Okay,” he said sounding a bit dejected. “Sorry…”

Sighing, I poured myself a glass of water and looked out at Sunset and Rarity as they created whatever passed for art. The both of them looked…carefree, as if they were enjoying themselves.

“Hi Sunset, Hi Rarity! Wow, that’s coming along nicely” a bubbly voice interrupted them as Derpy’s head appeared over my fence.

“Oh hey Derpy,” Sunset greeted. “And thanks. It’s gonna need a lot more touches, but it’s going to look amazing.”

“That it is,” Rarity nodded before holding the ladder as the blonde girl climbed over. “And hello Ms. Do, I take it you were successful then?” Rarity asked.

“You betcha! Mr. Distorted said he’d be happy to come along and see it all go down!” she said excitedly.

“Awesome!” Sunset said energetically. “But he is a loose cannon, so you’ve got to make sure you keep him in line tomorrow night alright?”

“Roger that!” Derpy saluted and began to giggle, which caused the other two to laugh as well.

There’s that laugh of hers again, I thought absentmindedly as I stared at the try-hard “bully”. What Hindsight had said, about her being friends with Pinkie and the others, for a moment I could believe that. She looked comfortable and non-aggressive around them…

But she showed her true colors before, I thought coldly as I downed my water. People don’t change, they just adapt to ensure their social standing. When this is all over, they’ll be back at each other’s throats, because that’s how people are.

Frowning, I left the false scene in front of me and walked back into the living room, knowing that the only real change that would occur after all this would be whether or not I was still a student at Canterlot High.

THE NEXT DAY, PONYVILLE ART CENTER

“Where is that bastard? It’s been hours already!” Sunset seethed beside me.

All of us had arrived early to ensure we had the best positions in which to take Jet Set down, and for me and Sunset that meant hiding outside one of the windows in the bushes. After a lot of deliberation and debate, it was the only option that made sense since we were social pariahs to any other Canterlot High Students, and the last thing we wanted was for Ascot to see us and clam up. Still, that meant Sunset and I were hunkered down essentially playing hide and seek for hours with nothing to do.

“He’ll come, his social image demands it,” I said as I read some manga on my phone.

“Well he better do it quick, I don’t know how much longer the psycho can keep the DJ here,” she bit at her nails.

I looked through the window at that at said DJ, with her electric blue and white hair and her large sunglasses that hid her eyes, and saw her look at her watch.

“Oh, but Vinyl, look at this one!” Pinkie said desperately as she pointed at a canvas that just had the word “Crab” spray painted on it. Judging from her posture, the internet personality was not amused.

“Heh heh heh…” Pinkie chuckled nervously and sent a worried look in our direction.

“Ugh! Some of these entries aren’t even REAL art, of course she’s gonna be bored!” Sunset warbled with worry as she clutched at her hair.

“Just calm down and be quiet, we might miss Dash’s cue if you babble over it,” I warned and she began to breathe harder.

Rainbow Dash, after successfully stirring the pot to some yuppies the day before, was now in her car in the parking lot, waiting to blast her horn the minute King Douche showed up.

“If he doesn’t come, then this whole thing was a waste, we failed, game over,” she hyperventilated.

“Panicking right now won’t make him show up faster Condiment Head, so take a deep breath and-“

“I can’t afford to lose!” she yelped and I couldn’t help but flinch at her tone, mostly because the desperation outshined the anger. "I can't afford not to catch this prick! Do you know what my parent's will do to me if I get blamed for this!? They could disown me, or force me to move schools! I can't afford any of that Bacon!"

Whoa...this is sudden, I thought nervously as she began to have a meltdown in front of me. I, uh, I can’t let her break down now. What if she has a seizure or something and ruins our spot? How do I stop this?!

“I just…I just can’t lose. This is all I have left after last year! I’ll be nothing if we fail and-“ She gasped in surprise as I placed my hand on her shoulder.

"Look Sunset," my mouth started to say, words spilling out of it before I could think them through, "This guy has to show up with how big a jerk he is. He’s gonna be here soon and then we’re gonna get our proof, okay? And once we do, you can kick him in the balls for good measure to celebrate, sound good?!”

My tone was far from convincing, and more of a plea as I wanted to stop her before the tears came, and she just looked at me with lost confused eyes.

What the hell am I saying?! I’m no optimist! Maybe he did just decide not to come and we’ve bet everything on a losing hor-

"Really?" Once again the sad and desperate Sunset from Luna's office appeared before me, and this time there was no telling myself that I was just seeing things.

Uh, sure, if that helps?

"Really,” I said, trying to make my tone more confident. “We’re going to get through this and rub it in the Dazzling’s faces. And when you make rich boy a eunuch, I’ll personally make sure no one’s recording so you can't get charged for assault! Hell, I might just join in with you. Trust me, this plan is going to work."

She continued to look at me with those probing eyes for a few heartbeats…and then suddenly she was smiling. A normal, natural smile, that took me completely off guard. I daresay it could be called cute, even if it was on someone usually so mean.

"Thanks Michael...I needed that,” she said in gratitude, letting out a huge sigh of relief.

“Uh, y-yeah, no problem,” I stuttered awkwardly, quickly removing my hand from her shoulder. “I, uh…yeah, we’re not going to lose. I-“

*HONK*

A loud car horn sounded from the parking lot and we both jolted from that strange moment.

"That's the signal from Rainbow, he’s here!" I said in startlement.

"Just like you said,” she smirked before her eyes took on a hard edge. “And there he is…" Walking out of an honest to god limousine was the man of the hour, dressed up in a suit that probably cost more than one of my consoles.

“And there he is,” I repeated as I sent a message out to Rarity, Pinkie, Derpy and Hindsight.

“Oh, it looks like he’s here Mr. Distorted,” Derpy’s voice suddenly said very closely next to the window we were hiding by.

“Ha! Of course he is! Though it is a shame that it broke up the awkward hormonal tension,” said our crazy teacher before his smiling face suddenly filled the window which caused us to jerk back. “It’s show time kiddies…” And with a wink, he danced away from the window in his strange purple ensemble and beret with Derpy and Hindsight following in his wake.

Even in a room full of colorful art, he stood out, and that was the point. He was to distract the organizers of the contest until the prime opportunity when Jet Set hung himself out to dry. It also helped that the organizers themselves were part of the School Board, so while he got his jollies off annoying them, they would also bear witness and be recorded doing so by him. Also, it had the benefit of catching Scratch’s eye enough to start vlogging.

“…I sure hope he isn’t the one to screw everything up,” I murmured.

“Agreed,” Sunset nodded before she looked back to the approaching enemy. “Damn it. His girlfriend isn’t with him.”

I bit my lip at that as I saw no heads or tails of his prissy lady.

“Damn,” I cursed. “But still, he’s the artist with the knowhow. We only need him tonight for this to work.”

She nodded in agreement at this as he entered the venue, and we looked in on the scene. Rarity adjusted her fancy red dress, adjusting the microphone under it that Hindsight had provided. Pinkie Pie led the DJ towards where Sunset’s painting was, giving her a good view of Mr. D’s shenanigans, and the coming confrontation hopefully, and Derpy and Hindsight stealthily recorded video from Mr. D’s side.

The minute Jet Set walked in, no one seemed to notice since they were too focused on Mr. D loudly speaking about kumquats and the importance of the cream corn diet. He seemed displeased at the conversation, and immediately made a bee line towards his piece of art, which was a tag of a crystalline mountain, with the words, Vox Victoria stylized throughout it.

Wasting no time, Rarity looked to us at the window, nodded, and made her way towards him.

“Here we go,” I whispered to Sunset as we both put in an earphone in to listen to Rarity’s conversation.

“Jet Set, darling, is that you?” she called out and the jerk turned to her.

“Ah, Ms. Rarity, I’d heard you were going to be at this event,” he said with a slight grimace, no doubt remembering Rainbow’s boasting from the day before. “But color me impressed, I had no idea that you had skill in graffiti as well as fashion.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say I have too much skill,” she said in fake humbleness. “But it is a fascinating field.”

“Ah yes, the ability to create perfection with something so crass and pedestrian as a spray can,” he agreed with arrogance. “Take my work for instance.”

“Oh, it’s lovely darling. The way you’ve weaved the words with the background so seamlessly without any smudges or runs. Truly a masterpiece,” she praised and he smiled with that ego boost.

“And another thing! When are the tater tots getting brought back?!” Mr. D’s exclamation interrupted the two.

“We’ve been over this Distorted, they aren’t a healthy-“

“Bah! Who cares about health? It’s all about taste you cardboard munchers! You know how bothersome it is to teach when all those little monsters’ stomaches start gurgling despite having already eaten?!”

“Oh for, Mr. D, just shut up,” Sunset groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“He does have a point,” I conceded. “Trust me, I went to a school that went “Healthy and Vegetarian” for a bit. Stupid Health Nut Hippies…”

“I must say, such a deplorable and unsightly old man is an eye sore,” Jet Set scoffed, sounding extremely offended. “He’s not from your little backwards of a “school” is he Ms. Rarity?”

“Uh…No, I think he’s from Chaging Lives,” she lied nervously.

“Ah, that makes more sense. There’s plenty of those miserable cockroaches here with their “art.” It’s hard to go much lower than your pitiful compatriots, but they’ve found a way,” he said hautily and Rarity’s fists clenched.

“Quite so…” she held back a growl before coughing into her hand. “But any way Jet, I would love for you to see my entry.”

“Hmm, I suppose I could spare the time to look,” he said as if his time was a gift.

“Right this way then,” she gestured and led him towards Sunset’s painting. “So Jet, I couldn’t help but notice Upper Crust wasn’t here?”

“Sadly not. She had to attend to some bothersome class project with Suri,” he said sounding a little miffed before his demeanor changed. “But that’s alright, I still ended up having a beautiful woman by my side tonight.”

Rarity started and me and Sunset shared a disturbed look at that.

“Oh Jet dear, you flatterer,” the fashionista attempted to play it off, but this only caused him to double down.

“I only speak the truth after all,” he smarmed. “In fact, do you have any plans later or-“

“And here is my tag!” Rarity interrupted, pretending to not have heard that insinuation.

“Yeesh, this guy’s not only a douche bag, he’s a scumbag as well,” I said in disgust.

“Well at the very least, we’ve got him recorded flirting with another girl,” Sunset said with equal disgust. “We can ruin him even more with this.”

“Agreed,” I nodded as we looked back on our target as he reviewed the piece of art.

“I…see…” he said a bit stiltedly as he looked over it.

Bathed in yellow and reds, with the words “Never Forget” across it, was a depiction of the stupid horse statue, with the graffiti on it made to look like wounds.

“Yes, surely you must have heard of how those ruffians Michael Bacon and Sunset Shimmer debased our precious mascot?” Rarity said with false ingnorance.

“Oh I have indeed,” he said with barely contained glee. “Though it’s not surprising, being surrounded by ilk such as them and all. You should really consider transferring to our esteemed school Ms. Rarity.”

“Oh Canterlot’s not so bad,” Rarity dismissed. “And really, despite such a heinous act, Mr. Bacon and Ms. Shimmer do have quite the talent.”

“…Excuse me?” he said losing some bravado.

“I’m sure you can’t see in my own strokes of the Wondercolt’s wounds, but the mess they made was actually expertly done,” she continued and we could see him tense up at that.

“Expertly done? Pfah!” he scoffed, raising his voice. “I’ve seen the photographs. The childish depictions, the uneven splatterings, and of course the ridiculous undergarments. It was as if it were done by a monkey!”

“Oho but that’s where you’re wrong Mr. Set,” she countered and he eyed her dangerously. “I examined the Wondercolt myself, and in my opinion as a Tagger, it was too messy. Deliberately so even.”

“You…you don’t say?” he stuttered.

“Of course. I daresay they intentionally made it look bad on purpose, just to make the desecration all that more impactful,” she continued before pursing her lips. “Such a shame that such expertise is wasted on those with such hate in their hearts.”

“Expertise? Those two hooligans?!” he yelped in outrage.

“Yes I know,” she sighed. “Hard to believe that they are so talented. But even when doing their worst, even I can admit that they outshine us all.”

“WHAT?!” he exclaimed as his face went red like it did at the theatre.

“Oh dear Jet, whatever is the matter?” she asked innocently.

“The fact that you even consider those simpleminded baboons to even be on the same level as me!” he shouted and Rarity frowned.

“Well, I never! Just because they are ruffians and come from Canterlot High doesn’t make them any less talented!”

“That’s exactly what it means! You’re no artiste in graffiti! You can only dream to be on my level! That’s why you spout such ignorant nonsense!” he insulted and Rarity balled her fists up.

“Oh, you want to take that tone with me? Fine, I was being polite earlier,” she hissed. “Bacon and Shimmer’s Wondercolt desecration outclasses your pitiful art by miles!”

“BAW!” he gasped in shock, and Rarity continued.

“Your work is quite pompous and egotistical and not even worthy of the side of a train car! It’s drab, uncultured, and soulless!”

"DRAB?! UNCULTURED?! Do not insult me! Did you not see the same horse as I did? How there were no dribbles or spills upon the floor? How steady each swipe of the can was to make that horse shine? It takes skill to make something look truly horrendous on purpose!" Jet Set growled out, his anger quickly getting the better of him without his girlfriend around to keep him in check. “Those walking wastes of air could never conceive of such brilliance!”

“So Shimmer and Bacon couldn’t have done it? Ha! You sound as though you were the one to paint it,” Rarity goaded.

"Of course I do! Because I did you simple minded giiiiiirrrrr…” he trailed off as he realized exactly what he just said.

“YES!” me and Sunset cheered in unison, pumping our fists in the air, holding onto each other’s shoulders and jumping up in down in glee.

We did it! we actually did it!

“Gotcha,” Rarity smirked at him and the color drained from his face.

“Uh, no one will believe you! You’re just-“

“Oh really now?” Mr. D. insinuated from behind him and Jet Set whirled around to see that he was surrounded by him, Pinkie, Vinyl, Hindsight, Derpy, all of whom had their phones up and recording.

“I, uh…” he stammered.

“Word of advice kiddo, don’t start arguments with ladies in public. They draw more attention than the chaotic weirdoes,” Distorted smirked as he nodded his head to the two perplexed school board members who had witnessed the outburst.

“But-She-I…” he whipped his head around, sweat dripping from his brow.

“Congratulations darling, you played yourself,” Rarity mocked as she pulled the microphone from out of her cleavage.

“Boss defeated,” Derpy giggled.

“N-None of this will hold up in court!” he exclaimed in a frenzy.

“Court? Who said anything about that?” Pinkie alluded before turning back to the DJ. “Hey Vinyl, how many views have you got so far?”

Scratch didn’t say anything, only turned her phone screen around so everyone could see, and the last bit of blood drained out of Jet Set as his jaw dropped.

“I…”

“And in actuality, this could very well hold up in court since there are multiple witnesses and you yourself admitted to it,” Hindsight lectured matter of factly.

Faced with all of this, Jet Set booked it towards the front door.

Sunset and I looked at each other in silent agreement and ran to intercept him in the parking lot.

“This can’t be happening! I won’t allow it!” we came upon him mumbling and fiddling with his phone. “If Daddy hears about this-“

“He’ll what? Take away your ascot collection?” I insulted and he whipped around, dropping his phone.

“Or give you swift kick in the ass like he should have done years ago?” Sunset said with a satisfied malicious grin.

“You two!” he exclaimed.

“Yes, us two,” I nodded, elated in our victory.

“You set this whole thing up!” he accused angrily. “You insignificant peons! I will-“

“You’re gonna do nothing dickless,” Sunset said with authority as she causally walked forward, and kicked him in the balls.

“Oooohhhhhh,” he groaned as he fell to his knees in pain. As a fellow man, I winced in sympathy, but my satisfaction of seeing him in pain drowned it out.

“Oh god that felt good!” Sunset cheered in triumph.

“And not a camera in sight,” I said smugly before leaning down over his gasping form. “Next time, don’t mess with their stupid horse. They hate it…” And to add insult to injury, I took out the ketchup and mustard bottles in my bag, and drizzled them over his fancy suit. Still incapable of speech, he just whimpered, holding his pride.

“Chicken Sauce and Condiment Head send their regards bitch!” Sunset laughed aloud, which got me going as well as we stood over our defeated foe. The two of us then ran full sprint, laughing in victory the whole way, to Rainbow Dash’s car and hopped in.

“I saw the video! We did it!” she exclaimed happily as she turned the car on and hit the gas.

That we did! That we did… I thought in ecstasy. And while Dash peeled off down the road, leaving behind the injured and smeared culprit, Sunset and I continued to laugh and laugh and laugh as the video’s view count rose higher and higher.

Ah...it feels good to win. I can’t wait to see Luna’s face tomorrow…

Author's Note:

And so our two opposite sleuths have reached the ending of their case, revieling the true culprit to the world and clearing thier names once and for all. With a little help of course...

But now the question is, what happens next? How does the iron vice-principle react to the truth being reveled? The school body itself? What is the final chapter in this exciting tale (final chapter for this arc, not this story)?

Find out next time in the final epilouge episode of...

The Case of the Vandalized Mascot!

Hey all, DWC here! I hope you all enjoyed this episode of Life at Canterlot High! Cause let me tell you, I had a blast writing this episode! Seriously I love everything about this episode, from how Mike acts to the ending and Jet's Sets vile truth being reviled!

I've also realize that I have the atnagonist of my stories get hit in the balls as a reacurring theme in my stories. But that's something for me to worry about later...probably.

Anyways! Thank you all for reading this story like always! Please tell me what you thought of this episode! What did you like about it, and what did you think could be improved on? I always enjoy reading your guy's comments the most so please tell me what you thought.

Also, as always I'd love to hear any suggestions for future ideas for what we can tortu-I mean have Mike go through. As well as ideas for what you might what to see next chap if you have any! You guys have been giving me great ideas so far, so keep them coming!

I hope you all enjoyed this episode and continue to enjoy the rest of the story! This has been DWC, signing off!

Comments

[GamePlayer64]

The sin of pride, makes you arrogant to boast your accomplishments

[diablo4000]

Well i love to see him call out Luna on how he and Sunset were threaten and forced to go thru all this, because she too dam lazy to really try and find the dam truth.
She was ready to expelled them so easily. As far as I concern she not worthy to be Vice Principal.
Love to see how mother handles it, yes it taken care of, but his mom should tear in to Luna hard.

Either way she lost a lot of respect and trust from him and Sunset i bet.

Maybe a arch short oen on her trying to regain what she damaged?

[sunblade durandal]

This was brilliant

[Mallory S Nocturne]

I do declare this case closed.

[BrownDog77]

10023856
Maybe Discord's bet with her can affect that. Like he makes her do some really embarrassing stuff at school because he backed the winning horse.

[badninja]

I wonder if it will get passed around the school that our “hero” is a major nihilist and thinks everyone lies. Then again this is the universe wants him to make friends. So he will be instrumental in fixing the rift between Sunset and her former friends so they can all get along and be friendly with each other again.

[Rocksunset]

I think it would be funny if the girls forced him to go to the comedy club and for him to go on the stage I think his jokes are like George Carlin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDO6HV6xTmI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6wOt2iXdc4 and Lewis Black https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDE_w7mqxcI I can imagine he talks about all the students and their horse religion

[HIEfan]

Interesting chapter, some things were concluded and others were explained, i liked it.

[dereturd]

Hoo boy, the update is a sudden surprise. A lot happened here, and it felt a bit more upbeat than the previous one. Well, except for the first parts of the chapter. Nice one DWC.

Here's hoping another chummy moment happens between Adam Mikey and Sunset. And then someone ruins the moment and they become enemies again.

Good luck on the next one, you always don't fail to deliver.

[Kersey475]

Now that this world has it's version of Changelings, does that mean a potential Bugze cameo in the future?

I can imagine here, Grandbuggy works overseas so Bugze lives alone with Nightshade, but instead of being her father he's Nightshade's older brother in one of those anime-style Older-sibling-who's-practically-a-parent scenarios. I can already imagine what kind of shenanigans Bugze could accidentally drag Michael into.

Hay, Bugze (and/or Nightshade) could end up being one of Michael's "acquaintances" (if friendship is still too strong for Michael) thus giving him a resource for intel on anything going on in the Changeling School.

[Little Miss Airhead]

Well Ma Ma that was good but ~Reads Icha Icha~ Where's the next chapter 😂 but all in all that was good keep it up homie btw I'm black so

[KvAT]

Holy fuck that's satisfying