Life at Canterlot High

by Down with Chrysalis

Episode 6: The Levels of Knowing Someone

There were many things I wanted to do in that moment. I wanted to shove my burger into my face and make a run for it, I wanted to be my blunt self and just tell her that we weren't friends, and I really wanted to get My Hero Academia back from Twilight so that I could avoid awkward small talk like this.

But I couldn't do any of those things, simply because the last time I was blunt with someone about being 'friends' with me I made them cry, and got the entire school on my case for it. I did not want Pinkie-Gate 2.0 that could thrust me more into the spotlight thank you very much. That, and well…the conversation I’d had with her yesterday kind of resonated with me. She ate alone outside so no one would make fun of her eyes, and I had a soft spot for bully victims.

So, not wanting to be rude I answered her with the first thing that popped into my head.

"Course I did, this is the best spot to get away from everyone. Seriously it’s like this place has an anti-student field or something."

...

Yeah, the first thing that comes to my mind usually tends to be really dumb...or nerdy, or a combination of the two really. Just one of the many prices one must pay for being a Otaku Gamer I suppose.

So with that blunder of a sentence I figured Ditzy would just offer me a weird look like the usual people would in that scenario, but to my surprise she just laughed at it. Not one of those 'haha nerd' laughs that I was all too used to, but one of those 'I found that funny' laughs. As she laughed she took a seat next to me and started to calm down from her giggles.

"Hehehe yeah, I think it’s because we’re so close to the locker rooms for the football team. The stink cloud is the worst after a game, but after a couple of days it’s fine."

"Huh. That actually does make some sense. So when’s the next game? I need to know when I should bring my gasmask." She started laughing anew at that. “No really, I’m serious. Jock funk is like a dying skunk that’s lived on nothing but garlic it’s whole life, I need to avoid that unpleasantness.”

And once again, she started heartily laughing at my reasonable analysis, even setting her food down as she rocked back and forth.

It's like she thinks I'm joking or something, I thought in frustration. Some people really need to start understanding the dangers of jock smells I swear.

So while the blonde girl laughed, I decided the best thing for me to do was to go back to my meal. The longer I focused on her laughter the less time I would have to enjoy the glorious hamburger. As I ate, I continued to observe my temporary lunch mate’s guffaws while trying to figure out how to drop the 'not really friends' bomb as gently as possible.

Okay, so she's in a good mood. Now's as good as time as any. Time to put 'Operation: Not Friends' into action!

"So...you said we were friends right?" I asked as her laughter subsided, causing her to look at me in confusion.

"Well yeah. Why do you-oh..." Suddenly her joyful mood melted into somberness.

"I jumped the gun again didn't I? We're not really friends are we?" she asked with a sad sigh. The immediate tonal shift took me completely by surprise.

Yeesh! How many times has this happened to her? Ugh, this is like kicking a whimpering puppy…

“I-I mean…Well…I only just met you yesterday…” I stammered as I tried to find the right words.

"I-I understand,” she nodded and stood up as tears began to well up in her eyes. “I know nobody wants to be friends with a weirdo like me. I’m sorry for bugging y-“

"But we are acquaintances!" I blurted out, which managed to stop her just as she was about to walk away. She sniffled and looked back at me.

"Acquaintances?" she asked in a confused tone.

"Y-Yeah!” I nodded very vigorously. “See there is this thing called the 'Levels of Knowing Someone' that I totally did not just make up right now."

"'Levels of knowing someone'?" Ditzy repeated, more confused than sad at that moment.

"Exactly! LKS is pretty much the three levels of social interaction. First you’re strangers with someone, then you become acquaintances, and then after enough time, you become friends. It all depends on how well you know someone really,” I explained, trying to make this haphazard BS excuse sound reasonable and well thought out. It seems I was successful in that regard, because she sat back down and looked at me in contemplation.

"So if we're just acquaintances now, that means we can be friends if I get to know you better right?" she asked with hope.

"Yep, but in order to do this you need to at least get my er...'Know How' stat to level 10."

What the hell am I even blathering about? I panicked, thinking my house of cards was about to fall, but what she said next surprised me.

"Oh! So it's like in the Persona series? The Social Links that the MC does to get more powerful right?"

I was completely taken aback by that. Not only how she knew that awesome game series and it’s mechanics, but also that she connected my BS plan to it and made it make sense. Really, there was only one thing I could say to all this new information.

"Le-level 2 reached,” I said with a nervous chuckle.

The smile on Ditzy's face almost blinded me with how bright it was. And it was then that I knew one thing...

This is gonna backfire on me isn't it?

---

LATER, AT P.E.

Aside from that situation at lunch, the next few periods went by without too much happening. I spent most of my geography class thinking back to the whole Ditzy situation, and how my plan to avoid being her friend and causing another Pinkie Incident might have made the situation worse.

Eh, I'll let it be future Michael's problem. For now I need to focus on the task at hand.

That task being surviving the Hell that is P.E. run by Ms. Spitfire. I don't think I've ever been so scared of a person smaller then me in my entire life. This woman was the living representation of every nerd’s worst fear, and she had me singled out on day one.

Truly I must have a nest of black cats living near my home, for this is the worst luck ever! I groaned as I stood in line with roided out guys. Like yesterday, she studied us as we stood, not saying a word, as she moved up and down the line.

She's just been pacing back and forth for the past five minutes, occasionally her gaze lingering on me through her shades.

Is this some kind of military fear tactic to make me break? I gulped as her gaze lingered on me through her shades. Because if so, then it’s freaking working! Seriously lady just force me to work out already I can't take the suspense anymore!

As If reading my thoughts (and I wouldn't be surprised if she could) Ms. Spitfire suddenly stopped right in the middle of the lineup. Her gaze went from one end of the line to another before she started speaking in a militaristic tone.

"Okay men, today we will be doing partner exercises. Group up and begin doing the drills I have listed on the whiteboard behind you. If you don't finish every exercise, and trust me I will know, by the end of the period you and your partner will be doing ten laps around the school before leaving along with any of the exercises you don't finish. Do I make myself clear!"

"SIR YES SIR!"

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU WAITNG FOR MAGGOTS?! GET TO IT!"

I don't know what happened next. One minute I was standing in line, and the next I was flat on the ground with dust flying all around me. Coughing, I slowly got back up and tried to see through the dust.

So either the janitor never cleans the gym, or those guys are moving so fast they created dust from nothing like a cartoon. I don't know which one is more scary.

Eventually the dust settled and I found out that I was the only one left without a partner. Literally everyone else had partnered up and were doing the exercises, and in some cases finishing them.

What the hell do those guys eat? Steroid flavored protein powder!?

Shaking my head clear of athlete conspiracy theories (for now) I looked around one more time to see if anyone was left. After confirming once again that I was the only person partnerless I couldn't stop a sly smile from forming.

Perfect! No partner means I can slouch on the job and half ass it. She’s bluffing about knowing when everyone’s done, there’s way too many of us for her to notice me... Is it bad that I put more energy into plans to get out of working out then actually doing the work out? ...Nah.

With that final thought I began to put my plan into action. I started to slowly make my way to an isolated part of the gym to do my 'work out' without any of the roidragers ratting me out.

There's no way this plan can fa-wait no why did I think th-

"And where do you think you're going Private?"

Wincing at the sound of Ms. Spitfire's tone I slowly turned around to face her. Even though she was wearing sunglasses I could tell she had a 'gotcha' look in her eyes. Gulping slightly I told her,

"I, uh… was off to do the exercises like you told us to Ms. Spitfire."

"First of all Private, you are to address me as sir or ma’am. Only the sports teams call me Ms. Spitfire, understand?"

Geeze I guess Full Metal Jacket wasn't exaggerating...oh shoot I need to answer!

"Uh yes Ms.-I mean sir! I understand completely sir!"

I may have found it dumb that she was being such a hardass, but I also wanted to survive with all my bones unbroken. Even I know when to dial it back with the comments when it comes to certain types of people.

"Good,” she nodded, “Now take a partner and get to excercising or I'll be adding forty push-ups to that list specifically for you."

"W-well about that Ms-sir!” I gulped nervously, “There isn't anyone else left to partner up with, so I figured I'd just work on my ow-eep!"

Yes I did scream like a girl. You try not to when the scary teacher leans her sneering face close to yours.

"That's not what I see Private. Your partner is right over there, the both of you are already behind a minute. Now get going!"

Forgetting my fear for a moment, I turned around to see who she was talking about.

Oh you have got to be kidding me! I freaking called it!

Pinkie's shy friend, Butterfly or whatever, looked exactly how I felt, wanting to be anywhere else but there.

I looked back to Ms. Spitfire for confirmation and she nodded.

“B-But she’s a girl,” I said like an idiot.

“Oh wow, I didn’t notice,” she mocked and pointed at the pink haired girl. “Get to it Private!”

Eeping once again, I admitted defeat and made a beeline for the nervous girl. As I neared, it seemed like her shaking went into overdrive and she hid behind her hair from me.

Oi! No need for that! I don't want to be here either and I'm not that scary...I think. Now what was her name again? Flutter Butter? Butterfree? Butterfinger?... Ah screw it just gonna call her Flubber till I get a name.

Sighing before the hiding girl, I coughed awkwardly before I said,

"So uh...Flubber, looks like we're partners huh?" Apparently talking to her just made things worse as she somehow hid deeper into her hair. This of course just caused me to sigh once again before I laid things out for her.

"Okay look, it’s clear that the both of us don't want to be here, but if we don't do these exercises Spitfire is gonna kill us. So how about we just get these done, and we don't even have to make small talk, that okay with you?" Thankfully that seemed to be enough as she shook her head in agreement. At least I think she did, her hair moved back and forth so I just assumed she agreed with me.

"Good! Now come on Flubber, these pushups, sadly, won't do themselves."

With another nervous shake we began the workout routine created by the insane PE teacher...It went as well as you'd expect from a guy who swore off ever working out and a girl who was shaking like a furless Chihuahua in winter. At least she didn’t try to make friends so that was a plus.

---

*Bringggggggggggggg*

And thus ended another day of teenage jail!

Thankfully the exercises were more toned down than yesterday. Maybe Ms. Spitfire saw me dragging my dying body to the locker room the day before and took pity…or maybe the work out was working and I was actually getting stronger. One of the two.

Or she's slowly making me drop my guard so that she can spring a whole new torture on me tomorrow! I theorized.

...

I really don't like working out okay?

Anyway, I’d always thought I was the weakest person on the planet…Okay, maybe that’s an overstatement. I’m sure I’m stronger than starving people in third world countries, or smaller children or astronauts with atrophied muscles, but I’m no heavy weight contender. Point is, I'm very weak compared to most people, and I always thought I would be the weakest there ever was. Flubber...she proved that thought process right.

Whereas I struggled to do push-ups after doing five, she only started to struggle after doing twenty of them! There’s not an ounce of fat or muscle on that girl, and she outpaced me no problem. Whatever slim pride I had in my physical talents died at that, and I knew Ms. Spitfire was enjoying every second of that embarrassment.

But with all of that over, I instead focused on getting to the bus so I could have a gaming marathon to make up for yesterday’s lost time. With my backpack secured from my locker I made my way out of the school, and the bus was in sight…And then for some odd reason I couldn’t move anymore.

Suddenly realizing the presence of two people on either side of me I looked and found Pinkie on my left and Rainbow on my right, both of them with iron grips on my arms.

"Oh for fu-What do you two want?" I groaned in annoyance.

Pinkie is the first to speak as she said,

"Welllll...” Pinkie spoke up, “Since you were so busy yesterday with moving your stuff around I thought it would be nice if you hung out with us while we gave you a tour of the town!"

I think my face paled beyond belief at the very thought of hanging out with Pinkie and her friends. But I think it paled even more when Rainbow said,

"That, and we figured you might lock us out if you got home first so we're asking ya to come now."

The way you said asking is supisou-HEY!

The next thing I knew both of them were laughing as they dragged me off to a...blue and rainbow themed sports car. While it was pretty obvious who owned it, I was more focused on trying to stop my kidnapping!

"Hey let me go! Dang it I had plans today guys! Stop dragging me dang it! This is kidnapping you know, and that's illegal! Pinkie? Rainbow! STOP IGNORING ME DANG IT!"

Needless to say my afternoon was hijacked again.

Author's Note:

Give me some credit, I waited six chapters for Pinkie to kidnap Michael. That's got to be a record for Pinkie forcing friendship onto others...I think.

Also, yes I did make hints that Ditzy is a gamer....canon? What's that? Mwahahahahahaha!

Hey those who read this story, DWC here!

Another couple of days and a new chapter is here! Only one this week sadly due to someone all my classes giving test out this week and I need to study. So I need to do some time management so I can study and work on my comment driven story. But hey that's life for ya am I right?

So...how was this chapter? What made it good, what can be improved? What was your favorite part?

Also, I would love to hear some suggests for future shenanigans Michael can end up in. I always appreciate new ideas to keep things interesting, so if you have any go ahead and comment it!

Anyways, thanks for reading and this has been DWC signing off!

Comments

[GamePlayer64]

Agree with seeing School as a prison. I was in a classroom with no windows.

[badninja]

Yes Michael you will be making friends weather you want to or not. His mother is seriously evil in sending him here. I think he should tell Pinkie he hates parties and see how she handles that.

[HIEfan]

Outmuscled by Fluttershy? Poor lad will never live that one down.

[Hboi]

[Powerfull3000]

Original e increíble historia, sobre todo su humor y comedia, mis felicitaciones por tan maravilloso trabajo.