Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle walked back to town until their respective paths diverged, Scootaloo needing to make a right to return to the Carousel Boutique and Sweetie Belle needing to keep going down the cobblestone road to get to her parents house. The two friends stood at the fork in the road, dimly lit by a rising moon, neither of them sure what to say.
Scootaloo started to open her mouth, preparing to utter a perfunctory farewell but instead found herself wrapped up in a tight hug. Sweetie broke away and Scootaloo stared at her, waiting for some explanation but Sweetie only smiled at her, the same hopeful smile she offered back in the clubhouse. Scootaloo tried to return the gesture but her emotions were too conflicted for it to be genuine. Sweetie nodded, perhaps in understanding, or perhaps just acknowledgment, and trotted off down her path leaving Scootaloo to finish the last leg of her journey by herself.
Scootaloo walked slower than normal, desperately hoping for an epiphany that would guide her. But the gentle breeze and cool night air only offered silence. By the time she reached her destination the only thing she was sure about was that she wasn’t ready to make this decision quite yet, regardless of Sweetie’s heartfelt plea. She stood outside of Carousel Boutique, her resolve fresh in her mind and pushed open the door only to find the Boutique empty.
“Rarity?” Scootaloo called out to the empty room.
Seconds after hearing her name, Rarity came bounding down from upstairs. “Scootaloo?” she called back before laying eyes on the orange filly at the base of the stairs. “Thank goodness you're alright - I was so worried. Where have you been?”
Scootaloo ignored the question, instead choosing to focus on the topic she wanted to talk about. “Autumn came to talk to me today at school.”
“Oh... did he?” Rarity cleared her throat. “And, um, is everything alright?
“I'm not sure,” Scootaloo replied, looking around the room; though Rarity couldn’t be sure what she was looking for.
Instantly, Rarity began to conjure up a number of worrisome scenarios that stemmed from her impromptu visit with Lilly this afternoon. Maybe Autumn had determined that Scootaloo really would be better off in a two parent home. Maybe Lilly had issued some sort of ultimatum? Regardless, Scootaloo was unmistakably troubled and that was disconcerting all by itself. “What happened? Is something the matter?”
“He told me that Lilly and Treble wanted to adopt me…” Scootaloo was just thinking out loud at this point, she still couldn’t really wrap her head around what was going on, the idea that she might actually be wanted being too foreign to her. For as long as she could remember she had been shuttled from house to house, moving on when her new family grew tired of her, her opinion never really mattered. “But, he also told me that you wanted to adopt me too,” Scootaloo continued.
A glimmer of hope flickered in Rarity’s eyes. She couldn’t help it as the smile on her face grew wider.
“It's true! I've wanted to tell you, but-well I guess there’s a process to this.”
Rarity sat expectantly, waiting for Scootaloo to give some indication that she was even a fraction as excited as Rarity was, but Scootaloo’s expression remained frustratingly blank. Neither pony said anything for a few minutes; Rarity doing her best to stay still and Scootaloo becoming increasingly fidgety as the air grew denser.
Rarity froze, just watching Scootaloo. She had been hoping Scootaloo’s reaction would be a big smile and possibly a hug, but since Scootaloo didn’t seem to be offering either, Rarity began preparing herself for rejection. It stung more than she thought it would.
Eventually, Rarity couldn’t bear it anymore. “Scootaloo?” she asked, hoping her voice was calm, even though her heart was pounding.
“I don't know,” Scootaloo said, eyes rooted to her hooves as she pawed at the ground in front of her.
“I... see.” For a moment Rarity began to see this as just a garden variety dilemma, like whether to wear a stylish large brim hat or a chic fedora. “Perhaps we could back up. What about Lilly and Treble? What do you think of them?”
“They seem nice,” Scootaloo said with a shrug. But before Rarity could ask another question Scootaloo spoke again. This time her voice cracked and tears began to well up in the corners of her eyes. “They always seem nice, until they realize that I’m broken and then they don’t want me anymore, it always happens, always!”
“You’re not broken, Scootaloo,” Rarity said, repeating the lesson she had tried to impress on Scootaloo ever since the first night Scootaloo stayed at the Boutique.
Scootaloo’s brow furrowed and she shook her head violently. “Yes I am. You just don’t realize it yet either,” Scootaloo cried, the tears now falling down her cheeks.
Rarity paused, her previous illusion that she could talk her way through this shattered. In a way, Scootaloo wasn’t entirely wrong. The reason she didn’t have a home was partly her fault, but not in the way Scootaloo thought it was. She wasn’t broken, but her insistence that she was had become a self fulfilling prophecy. Rarity started to take a step forward, intent on offering some form of physical comfort, but Scootaloo flinched and Rarity opted to stay where she was. “What about Sweetie Belle? She’s been your friend for a while, do you think she thinks you’re broken?”
“Sweetie’s special,” Scootaloo said, and meant it. “She says that you want me as a member of the family.”
“She's right! It would make me so happy to make it official!” Rarity said hoping to capitalize on Scootaloo’s goodwill toward her sister. But Scootaloo just sighed, furiously trying to wipe the tears off her face.. “You've been living here for a month already, and it's been absolutely splendid-”
“No it hasn’t!” Scootaloo said stomping her right leg. A fresh wave of tears began to well up in her eyes. “Just stop it, okay. I’ve heard this all before, it’s never true and I’m sick of being lied to.”
“What do you mean, dear?”
“That ponies want me as a member of their family. That they want to adopt me, and that we'll have a wonderful time, and this time it’s different! All of it!”
“I'm sorry, Scootaloo. I didn't mean to upset you.”
Scootaloo sniffled loudly, wiping at her eyes. “I've heard that too.” There was another long pause, only this time it was because Rarity was waiting on Scootaloo to lead the conversation. “Why do you want to adopt me?” Scootaloo asked. Her tone was momentarily free of anguish and instead almost honest. “I know this hasn’t been easy for you. Why wouldn’t you just pass me off?”
“I won’t lie to you, Scootaloo. I meant it when I said that having you here this last month has been splendid. But you’re right, it hasn't been easy.”
Scootaloo's head jerked up from it’s previous downcast position but Rarity continued before Scootaloo could interpret her statement as another rejection.“But nothing worth doing ever is. I want to adopt you because I care about what happens to you. Not as ‘your friend's sister,’ or a ‘generous spirit…’ But as somepony who genuinely wants you to be cared for, kept safe, and to feel what everypony deserves - a sense of belonging, a family.”
Scootaloo badly wanted to believe that Rarity was lying, but her tone and the conviction with which she uttered her words made that impossible. She also wanted very badly to believe Rarity was telling the truth, but her experiences had taught her that wasn’t likely either. “I need some time to think,” Scootaloo mumbled.
Forced to concede that Scootaloo needed to be able to work through her own process, Rarity simply nodded. “Alright. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“You've done enough,” Despite the callousness of the words, Rarity didn’t detect any anger in Scootaloo’s tone. Rather, she said it with the same weary resignation Scootaloo seemingly always returned to.
The only response she could offer was a soft, “Very well then,” before Scootaloo trudged upstairs.
Ha ha, very funny.
element of fatherhood
The Element of Fatherhood? That's a good one.
I think with the father hood should be a challenge. Like I like to see Scootaloo struggle with having a dad & the father being a father. Maybe Scootaloo might make a mistake and try's to get Raity and him together? Also Alicorns to OP
Lol, dat spoiler. And give my best to HMX. I think scoots may do with Lily, it feels like Rarity is the obvious choice.
Presumably he's an alicorn (of scarlet and sable pigmentation), else being good and magic and being able to fly really fast could almost approach a vaguely interesting character hook...!
I'm glad it won't end with the adoption, since this is unique enough a character pairing I want to see it play out longer. (I mean there are a fair number of Dash adpotiong Scoots, but this is first. (Similarly, I rather Cabinet of Seers for similar reasons and I just realised that that is by the same author who is helping you (HMXTaylorLee), which is several shades more awesome.)
I think that Scootaloo needs some professional help here. I know she is getting some help but she needs her abandonment issues delt with before she should make this decision. Overall great chapter and looking forward to the next one.
I hope that last part is a joke...
Think you're missing two critical points in that spoiler if you're going for the full set. He also needs to bring Applejack's parents back from the dead and give Twilight a new treehouse library. After all, a true father should do no less!
Also yeah, Scootaloo might need a bit more to help her out than Rarity's tender care considering how this is panning out. I'm getting a sense that more happened to her than simply not fitting in with the expectations of her previous families.
6607489 Raylan is a pegasus who can also do magic, he's not an alicorn.
Dat author's note!
The Element of Fatherhood has to be one of the most original seventh element mary sues I have seen.
I have to admit, I really hope the last part is a joke. I don't think it'll add to the story positively if you have them going that quickly. I mean, if not I'll read it and judge it then. I've been in a situation like this as a writer, where I gave spoilers a lot of people were asking for, and they thought it was a joke so I had to re-do a fic... so I really hope it was a joke and not serious. Mainly because I don't want to hurt any feels.
Also, kudos for being the first fic I've left a review of on here... I rarely leave reviews on fanfics anymore. So I never thought I would when I joined this site!
Spike kill it with fire!
img10.deviantart.net/8ab0/i/2015/244/f/c/toasted_blue_on_cry_by_hillbe-d982b1m.jpg
that note's messed up
I'm not that easy
now I am broken
WUT?
That's a joke? Right? A joke?
wow three thumbs down! but you can have a finger in change! WUT?CLAW?
I can't tell if that is a joke or not
This is in fact one of the best characterizations of both Rarity and Scootaloo (and everybody else) I have read on this site. The mere concept itself is original and endearing.
I'm sorry I didn't favorite and read it sooner; you deserve all the views!
Is that spoiler at the bottom true?
*spanks the author
Naughty!
Still, great set up, can't wait to see how it wraps up
Wait, I copied and pasted this, so I know what's bolded, so..,
Oh sweet Celstia, you're not really going to do that, are you?
Right now I hope the spoiler is not really true, it sounds somehow bad, at least the element thing, and well somehow it feels like an OC shouldn´t interrupt the story, maybe in a sequel, but I hope it isn´t something quick as you made it look like.
To be honest I think it would be better to just continue it like this, maybe make something about their life together, or at least introduce your OC slowly in the next story, a marriage should wait.
I´m not saying this because I don´t like the idea, but I don´t want to risk the nice feeling in this story, with such many new things. Well more or less much, since they probably doesn´t happen in only a few chapters I hope.
Holy crap!!! Your OC's secret identity is Donut Steel!?!?
This isn´t supposed to make you mad, but I get the feeling the idea in your spoiler, isn´t really liked by many, at least not in this story.
I think it could be a nice idea otherwise, but this story doesn´t need it, and shouldn´t have it, I think it would probably only change .....how do I say this....the feeling of the story. I don´t know how to call it otherwise, but I hope you don´t change the probably original idea from this story to much.
Sorry I took a second glance, and he looks pretty bad, he is probably way to OP, and it looks like you made him better in every stuff that the main six are known for.
A comment about the spoilers in the author's comment .... on the internet unless you put up red flags with dancing clowns going side to side yelling "this is satire" someone somewhere is going to take you seriously.
I think my brain just broke
6607561 I am disappointed. Who is this impostor when the true father is... Donut Steel!
I had the unique misfortune of drinking root beer when reading that author's note. Now I have to clean my desk.
I am intrigued and repulsed by the spoiler in the author's note. Will he eventually adopt the rest of the bearers because they all realise he is a way cooler dad than their real ones, despite being adults themselves?
6607938 yeah I did not anticipate that.
6607582 really? Cause its actually the laziest thing I could think of.
Holy crap you guys are being dense. Of course it's a joke. Laugh! If it was part of the story, literally the resolution for the story's conflict, do you think he'd put it in a spoiler in an A/N? Not to mention the obvious jovially sarcastic overtone and making fun of your average Gary Stuicorn.
Put that gray matter to use!
Should be interesting to see, no?
6607561
Here I thought he was a unicorn who was in the circus as an equine cannonball.
That AN....
Seems legit.
I'm waiting with bated breath for the Michael Bay version.
--Spade
I hope the spoiler is a joke, or the thumbs up on meter will probably become thumbs down. Including my vote. Maybe I'm taking this too seriously, but that would ruin the narrative of the story for me.
6608541 we are two
and the element of fatherhood runs for president (because they have voting in canon but also a higherarchry with princes and princess?) and the ponies like him so much celestia has to complete in debaits. Then trollstia posters pop up and she sees she couldn't even stop the changeling queen and steps down. Later everyone learns she didn't really raise the sun, it did it on this own. that one time twilight did it was because she forgot to set the clocks back, and forced it up. Yet, Luna totally raises the moon because she's cool like that. So celestia needs a new job and becomes scootloo's personal flyer with saddle and all. lololol this is fun.
(clears throat) sorry got carried away there. I really do like this story. I have read many scootloo homeless/adopt stories. the apples, the rich's, RD, the cakes, and even spitfire adopt never had a seen rarity or Pinky pie one. You capture the hopelessness really well. almost like you or someone you know has going through that door before. Not all stories real or fake have a happy ending. Yet, I am really hoping for one here.
So many in the comments going "I wish the AN spoiler won't be true!" when it's clearly a joke.
Any author worth their salt won't spoil their stories like that. Usually they hide their spoilers behind vague lampshading or clever puzzles and wordplay.
Don't worry though. Your fears feed me. They are delicious.
Short chapter, but it had enough meaning to suffice. This is what I mean when I say your pacing is phenomenal. This scene needed to be played out in order to convey what needed to be shown. Scootaloo has an understandable amount of cynicism, the reality of the situation is relatable in a sense, and that is what makes this story good.
Also, I love the mary sue joke in the notes. XD
Keep up the good work! Excited for the next chapter!
I hope that author's note was a joke. I don't like the fact that Scootaloo's being treated like a dog.
*HUGS SCOOTALOO* You are not broken, you are a wonderful filly and I will break Diamond Tiara's face if she says otherwise.
I'm glad Scootaloo isn't just making a quick decision, though I think she might need to spend some time with Lilly and Treble as a trial run since she's had time with Rarity and needs to be able to make a well informed decision.
6608450 That would actually be interesting to see. And a good way to get Scoots to Fly by giving her a massive boost for Acceleration.
Scoots needs to go out on a sleepover with the other two Crusaders for a night, I think.
Also, regarding that author's note, finally somebody who gets it. Write a full-length novel delving deeply into character development and getting us attached to the actors and the overall story, then troll the everloving fuck out of everybody by having a deliberately anticlimatic ending where everything is solved by a Gary Stu OC self-insert.
Raylan also need access to a time machine, and whenever Raylan's not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking "Where's Raylan?".
Someone please invent an easier way to detect sarcasm through a text based medium because some of you people are truly scaring me.
You know, I bet that if that spoiler had not had already happened in countless fics it would be funny instead of utterly terrifying.
So I'll just sit here in constant fear if yet another great fic being ruined by excess OCism no matter how unlikely it may be.
Posting then deleting zero word chapters to bump your story back to the front page is a violation of the site's rules. Yeah, that's right, deleting the chapter doesn't remove the entry in people's Feed. We can still see it. Both word count and chapter title.
6611254
Meh. I'm pretty sure he was going to put up his explanation for the last chapters Author's Notes for those who didn't get the joke, then realized (or was told) that that's not allowed either. Not a big deal.
--Spade
6611254 You and I aren't going to get along are we? I didn't post an empty chapter to up my view count. I don't need to up my view count artificially.
I did break a different site rule by posting a chapter consisting entirely of an authors note. I was warned and moved the note to my blog.
You, however, are not a mod or an admin, so how bout you chill the fuck out. I assume you downvoted my story, if you haven't why don't you go ahead and do that, then why dont you use your alt accounts to do the same thing, then you can go annoy some one else.
6611413 Well that was certainly a lot of letters structured into words, sentences and paragraphs that you've written there.
Wow, even if some of us believed it, I think this is taken to serious all of sudden. If I would have to speak for myself, I just take people seriously, and doesn´t assume a joke everywhere, because well I could remember it wrong, but I believe something like this actually happened in one of the storys I had read, as I started on this site.
I think that Blog isn´t really needed, I could understand it the wrong way, since I´m not that awesome with my english, but it kind of looks like you would complain about those who didn´t understood your joke.
However, what I really didn´t liked was, that one or two actually called those who didn´t understood it the right way "dense".
I don´t think that they are more intelligent, just because they got the joke.
Long story short, while I think the Blog maybe wasn´t needed I´have nothing against it, but I don´t like it that it is suddenly such a more or less big thing, and that some called our little group "dense".
However since I don´t really know you, and only read this story from you, I probably couldn´t really say what you would do, and what you would not do.
In a way you could just think of it as a compliment that you have done a good job so far.
However while I don´t exactly understand how long, or why you and the other guy don´t like each other, I don´t think it looks that good if you just delete it. This way no one is able to see how...well rude? he was.