The buildup to the battle was great. Celestia giving out ancient and powerful magical artifacts goes well with the fantasy setting and each character utilized them well. Except for Fluttershy, so I'll have to wait to see what she does with the tears.
The battle had some great moments, though the scene with Pinkie and that young soldier came off as a bit cliche. The pony army banded together well and fought back some pretty impressive odds.
The body count is rising however, and the Equestria after this chapter will forever change. I'm looking forward to how it manages.
Great work!
Comment posted by dashdlkashd deleted Jun 22nd, 2017
like holy crap that make my very depressed i mean i know the story is dark but wow the new chapter update is something i really did not see coming. i really hope there is a chapter to follow this that is a kind of come back or something cuz this was i dont know what to say
DAMMIT, AUTHOR something happy had better happen soon, cause I don't know if I can take any more of this. Wait, what the heck happened to Corey, anyway??
2102490 well i was hopping so but what happened in the chapter i mean really caught me off guard imma not rage all over this since it is your story after all and all i can give is input as a reader. But i will say that i have seen some depressing stuff and this chapter is up there so i dont know if thats a gratz moment or not lawl. But ill say again a real shock which i guess is a good thing if your the writer. You know what i dont know where i am going with this but other wise story is good the current chapter well i said my opinion on that already you know what imma stop talking now before i say something stupid or offensive. But once again then ill be looking forward to the next chapter =).
Dang dude. This is getting INTENSE! Twi and the two princesses are dead and Corey is either suspected dead or MIA...*sits in chair and opens a can of Pepsi* do continue. I patiently await the next chapter.
I need to find some way to stop myself from reading stories tagged "Dark".
OK I am enjoying this story so far except for, of course, those elements tagged "Dark". But I normally don't enjoy those anyway. The last Dark story I read ended up with the bad guy winning, left me a slight bit depressed... I kind of find myself hoping you'll pull out the Reset Button by the end but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much. At any rate I'm gonn have to read a Comedy fic next I think.
But, onto what I thought of the story itself. I find Mandeville, CAIRO, and MA just to be a little too much like Cave Johnson, GlaDOS, and Aperture Science. Of course each is different enough in their own way but the parallels are obvious.
Twilight's sympathy with Mandeville seems to come a little too easily, especially all she's been through. At the very least she could be a bit more skeptical of his sob story. My take on his story is that he's clearly using it as an excuse to amass power for himself (building weapons of mass destruction is certainly a way to do this from multiple angles). Maybe his motivation behind sharing suffering with Equestria is genuine on some level, but it can't be a coincidence he's just instated himself as ruler of a country and now has more power than any other Equestrian.
I further predict he'll want to spread suffering to other countries in Equestria (IIRC you mentioned other countries... though it's possible I am recalling a different story) and won't make a very good peacetime ruler even if he were to try to be one genuinely.
Oh and STOP KILLING OFF BEST PONIES. Seriously, you've pretty much gotten all of my best pony list at this point.
I might as well throw some predictions out there while I'm here... Mandeville's disagreements with CAIRO will only increase and perhaps the goal of disabling CAIRO will end up failing only for CAIRO to turn on Mandeville in the end. CAIRO is described as having safeguards against this sort of thing, but the very fact the story goes into the idea of rogue AI and that he's already had disagreements with Mandeville that Mandeville did not expect indicate there are loopholes, though it remains to be seen how CAIRO can and will use them.
Also, Corey survived his fall, and will probably be the catalyst to whatever future actions against Mandeville are taken.
FWIW when I was reading through I thought it would be awesome if there was some human saboteur sneaking around who would help our heroines (probably inspired by Portal, again). I turned out to be surprisingly accurate in that.
Wow, you have a real talent at writing exhilarating battle scenes. Then, it got grimdark and remembered I was reading a mature fic- it'll be interesting to see where you go with this at least
Dude, you've got me damn near crying again. Excellent, wonderful work. I did notice one thing though
Both ponies stopped dead as a tank rumbled towards them, one tread flattening a CID’s head as it crawled over the grass them. Is there a word missing here or something?
I think you went too dark, here. The only way for this to have a decent ending now is for some sort of deus ex machina to come into play. It feels to me like you've made this dark simply for the sake of making it dark, rather than the making it dark because you wanted to tell a story. It's like you set out from the beginning to be as brutal and sadistic to the characters as possible. I'll admit that 'Fallout: Equestria' and 'The Immortal Game' were both grim as hell and had horrible things happen to the Mane 6 (including their deaths in FOE), but both those stories used darkness as a tool rather than an end and managed to pull out endings that were at least sort of content while remaining fairly believable.
I'm not going to downvote or defavourite this story, simply because I want to see how you dig yourself out of the hole you've dug, but don't expect me to give any glowing recommendations.
2171252 In that line I wasn't referring to her inevitable blood loss. I was actually referring to how dragging her through miles of dense jungle/forest to the nearest hospital, with her extensive wounds, would almost certainly end in a rather horrible infection. It would have been a miracle to get her through all that without getting exposed to some range of dirt, filth, or the freaking motaba virus. Bacteria were going to find their way into those wounds, it's what they DO.
And it is at this point that I am stopping. I do not like this story, period. I can handle grim and dark, but this torture fest is sickening. Well written but sickenning.
Wow, did things change big time here.
The buildup to the battle was great. Celestia giving out ancient and powerful magical artifacts goes well with the fantasy setting and each character utilized them well. Except for Fluttershy, so I'll have to wait to see what she does with the tears.
The battle had some great moments, though the scene with Pinkie and that young soldier came off as a bit cliche. The pony army banded together well and fought back some pretty impressive odds.
The body count is rising however, and the Equestria after this chapter will forever change. I'm looking forward to how it manages.
Great work!
...
Wwwwhat....
Aaaand this got too dark for me, hope others who keep reading will enjoy it.
Y'know, I was kind of depressed after getting the news about Fighting is Magic. But then I watched the latest episode, and I wasn't depressed anymore!
Then I read this update.
Celestia dead, Luna dead, now Twilight dead. Yeah, this story sucks. *downvotes, leaves*
like holy crap that make my very depressed i mean i know the story is dark but wow the new chapter update is something i really did not see coming. i really hope there is a chapter to follow this that is a kind of come back or something cuz this was i dont know what to say
2101974
Definitely not the last chapter:
Check the blog post: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/125531/it-aint-over-till-the-fat-lady-sings
DAMMIT, AUTHOR something happy had better happen soon, cause I don't know if I can take any more of this.
Wait, what the heck happened to Corey, anyway??
2102490 well i was hopping so but what happened in the chapter i mean really caught me off guard imma not rage all over this since it is your story after all and all i can give is input as a reader. But i will say that i have seen some depressing stuff and this chapter is up there so i dont know if thats a gratz moment or not lawl. But ill say again a real shock which i guess is a good thing if your the writer. You know what i dont know where i am going with this but other wise story is good the current chapter well i said my opinion on that already you know what imma stop talking now before i say something stupid or offensive. But once again then ill be looking forward to the next chapter =).
Dang dude. This is getting INTENSE! Twi and the two princesses are dead and Corey is either suspected dead or MIA...*sits in chair and opens a can of Pepsi* do continue. I patiently await the next chapter.
I need to find some way to stop myself from reading stories tagged "Dark".
OK I am enjoying this story so far except for, of course, those elements tagged "Dark". But I normally don't enjoy those anyway. The last Dark story I read ended up with the bad guy winning, left me a slight bit depressed... I kind of find myself hoping you'll pull out the Reset Button by the end but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much. At any rate I'm gonn have to read a Comedy fic next I think.
But, onto what I thought of the story itself. I find Mandeville, CAIRO, and MA just to be a little too much like Cave Johnson, GlaDOS, and Aperture Science. Of course each is different enough in their own way but the parallels are obvious.
Twilight's sympathy with Mandeville seems to come a little too easily, especially all she's been through. At the very least she could be a bit more skeptical of his sob story. My take on his story is that he's clearly using it as an excuse to amass power for himself (building weapons of mass destruction is certainly a way to do this from multiple angles). Maybe his motivation behind sharing suffering with Equestria is genuine on some level, but it can't be a coincidence he's just instated himself as ruler of a country and now has more power than any other Equestrian.
I further predict he'll want to spread suffering to other countries in Equestria (IIRC you mentioned other countries... though it's possible I am recalling a different story) and won't make a very good peacetime ruler even if he were to try to be one genuinely.
Oh and STOP KILLING OFF BEST PONIES. Seriously, you've pretty much gotten all of my best pony list at this point.
I might as well throw some predictions out there while I'm here... Mandeville's disagreements with CAIRO will only increase and perhaps the goal of disabling CAIRO will end up failing only for CAIRO to turn on Mandeville in the end. CAIRO is described as having safeguards against this sort of thing, but the very fact the story goes into the idea of rogue AI and that he's already had disagreements with Mandeville that Mandeville did not expect indicate there are loopholes, though it remains to be seen how CAIRO can and will use them.
Also, Corey survived his fall, and will probably be the catalyst to whatever future actions against Mandeville are taken.
FWIW when I was reading through I thought it would be awesome if there was some human saboteur sneaking around who would help our heroines (probably inspired by Portal, again). I turned out to be surprisingly accurate in that.
And so it ends. The ponies have lost and darkness and evil claims the land of Equestria
2111882
Nope, not over.
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/125531/it-aint-over-till-the-fat-lady-sings
Wow, you have a real talent at writing exhilarating battle scenes.
Then, it got grimdark and remembered I was reading a mature fic- it'll be interesting to see where you go with this at least
Dude, you've got me damn near crying again. Excellent, wonderful work. I did notice one thing though
Both ponies stopped dead as a tank rumbled towards them, one tread flattening a CID’s head as it crawled over the grass them.
Is there a word missing here or something?
I think you went too dark, here. The only way for this to have a decent ending now is for some sort of deus ex machina to come into play. It feels to me like you've made this dark simply for the sake of making it dark, rather than the making it dark because you wanted to tell a story. It's like you set out from the beginning to be as brutal and sadistic to the characters as possible. I'll admit that 'Fallout: Equestria' and 'The Immortal Game' were both grim as hell and had horrible things happen to the Mane 6 (including their deaths in FOE), but both those stories used darkness as a tool rather than an end and managed to pull out endings that were at least sort of content while remaining fairly believable.
I'm not going to downvote or defavourite this story, simply because I want to see how you dig yourself out of the hole you've dug, but don't expect me to give any glowing recommendations.
Haha, I just saw this video, and it reminded me of that one scene
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=ZhPwyHXd07Q&NR=1]
2171252 In that line I wasn't referring to her inevitable blood loss. I was actually referring to how dragging her through miles of dense jungle/forest to the nearest hospital, with her extensive wounds, would almost certainly end in a rather horrible infection. It would have been a miracle to get her through all that without getting exposed to some range of dirt, filth, or the freaking motaba virus. Bacteria were going to find their way into those wounds, it's what they DO.
So...is Corey considered to be dead, or did he possibly survive his fall?
twilight and luna?noooooo!
bad guy wins? interesting....
Totally love when stories do this.
bad guy wins? interesting....
Totally love when stories do this.
...Why, author...why?
I'm still trying to recover from Trixie's horrible death. Now you go and kill Celestia, Luna, AND best pony?
...I think I need to step away for a while. I have no idea what's going to happen now...
And it is at this point that I am stopping. I do not like this story, period. I can handle grim and dark, but this torture fest is sickening. Well written but sickenning.