Welp, that ending was depressing. This is why superheros shouldn't wear capes.
You had me faked out and I should have known better. I thought things were going to go in one direction for a certain character... and then it didn't. I guess that's life though. You set up expectations and sometimes, those expectations are not met, no matter how hard we want to reach them.
Anyway, not too bad for a human in Equestria story. Really sadistic though.
One note of criticism is that when you have several characters talking, sometimes is not always obvious who's talking. I have to re-read the section over again to get clued in. A few identifiers here and there would help.
A very dark way to deal with ponies and I have a feeling that it's not going to get any better. We'll see.
Such a saddening end. The Mane Six + Corey made it out (I think) only for Trixie to get tragically caught. So close... Let's hope they will finally able to gain support and finally bring Mandeville to justice.
Comment posted by dashdlkashd deleted Jun 22nd, 2017
Comment posted by dashdlkashd deleted Jun 22nd, 2017
Release your anger! I can feel the hate swelling in you now...
But yeah, you're not wrong. Mandeville's reasoning is rather more petty than he'll let on. Not to mention, he doesn't get a whole lot of detractors. His only company is a sycophantic computer that plays yes-man to his every beck and call, after all. He's got good reason to be angry, sure, but not to take it out on the natives.
Comment posted by dashdlkashd deleted Jun 22nd, 2017
Oh, Mandeville has a plan, but it only goes so far.
And yeah, it's pretty obvious what with the preposterous enormity of the facility and the differently designed but no less derivative hydraulic platforms that Mandeville Arms is very inspired by Portal... Notice I never refer to the tiling system using the word "panels". To deny that inspiration would probably be to insult your intelligence.
So you might ask, well, why not just make a Portal crossover? And the answer is... well, it's been done, really, and to pretty great effect I might add.
Besides, GLaDOS might commit atrocities to ponies out of the curiosity of science, but other than that she pretty much wants to be left alone... except when she doesn't. Not a whole lot of room for the kind of far-reaching invasion story I wanted to tell. Going into this story, the mission statement in my mind was, "if Aperture Science got dropped into Equestria, and if Aperture was run by a Bond villain."
Mandeville actually started out as a pretty hollow character in the original drafts. He was sadistic, he was selfish and he just plain didn't care. He was always going to be a coward, but he used to be a snide bastard who would kill a pony just to see them bleed. Similarly, Corey was just going to be a straight-up good guy who tried to heroically take down the villain. There was none of the moral ambiguity you see going on between the two human characters.
Just by fixing Mandeville up to be more... well, human... taking the philosophy that everyone wants to be a good guy. Nobody CALLS themselves evil. People who do evil things always think they're justified in what they're doing. By fixing up Mandeville from the ground up, I made him a bit more complex, something worthy of pity more than outright disgust. Meanwhile, Corey reaped the character benefits of trying to execute a man convicted with no crime, and throwing another world into peril as a result. It's really amazing what things can grow into, even from very simple starting goals.
Comment posted by dashdlkashd deleted Jun 22nd, 2017
Mandeville is only limited by his resources. If he has the materials, he can fabricate insane amounts of whatever he likes. Back on his Earth, he would be stymied by a very limited supply chain that could be easily cut off. In Equestria? The land is LOADED with rare earth minerals. He can mine beneath his very facility and yield enough materials to constantly create drones, expand his drone creation facilities, and pretty much whatever he can fathom.
As to fear of the mob... Ever heard of Emperor Qin, first emperor of China? He ruled unopposed until his death, after he swallowed pills of mercury he believed would make him immortal... ironic. He was a vicious tyrant who used what we now call "legalism" to keep the citizenry in line. It worked. Oh WOW how it worked. Look into how legalism functions, and you'll understand why. Mandeville isn't stupid.
Comment posted by dashdlkashd deleted Jun 22nd, 2017
Teleport the sun inside the facility? As in bring a neutron star into the planet's atmosphere? A roiling nuclear furnace brought to bear on the surface of a life-bearing planet? It would be worse than setting off a hydrogen bomb. I'm also not sure if teleporting something that big is quite within Celestia's capabilities. At any rate, Celestia has to busy herself on defense first. If they can repel the first strike against them, she and Luna have a good chance of shutting the whole thing down.
As to anti-magic, it can be overpowered, but it takes a lot, even when cast by a relatively weak unicorn. The enchantment can also be undone, but it's a pretty deliberate action. It's worth doing against a large target, but with small fry it's usually less complicated to just disable them through other means.
Comment posted by dashdlkashd deleted Jun 22nd, 2017
Well, you'd be incorrect. I've had this story planned out for a good long time now, and I've had to consider the things you've asked about on many occasions whenever I'm bored and decide to brainstorm.
As to the sun... how does she split apart the sun? As I see it, its a neutron star with an enormous friggin' mass to it. And I wouldn't even be able to tell you what that might do the the sun's stability
I've no doubt Celestia can influence solar storms or create a focused solar beam at a spot on the earth, but still. And like I said, Canterlot is on defense here first. After? Well, we'll see what happens
Comment posted by dashdlkashd deleted Jun 22nd, 2017
*Shrug* I'm just going by how I figure things would work. Deciding the ultimate boundaries of something as obscurely defined as magic is often rather subjective to how the author sees things.
I'm not hand-waving criticism, by all means I welcome it. I'd rather fix a hole in a story than leave it there to fester like a decaying cavity and try to justify why it doesn't exist.
Damn =/
Glad to see an update, though.
Welp, that ending was depressing. This is why superheros shouldn't wear capes.
You had me faked out and I should have known better. I thought things were going to go in one direction for a certain character... and then it didn't. I guess that's life though. You set up expectations and sometimes, those expectations are not met, no matter how hard we want to reach them.
Anyway, not too bad for a human in Equestria story. Really sadistic though.
One note of criticism is that when you have several characters talking, sometimes is not always obvious who's talking. I have to re-read the section over again to get clued in. A few identifiers here and there would help.
A very dark way to deal with ponies and I have a feeling that it's not going to get any better. We'll see.
HOLY-
.....wow. Jeez, what a tragic turn. Not a bad thing for the story, but just... wow. The moral of this story? NO CAPES.
This actually looks scary and sad... To the point where it warrants investigation
Such a saddening end. The Mane Six + Corey made it out (I think) only for Trixie to get tragically caught. So close... Let's hope they will finally able to gain support and finally bring Mandeville to justice.
1332968
Gooooooood... goooooooooooooood!
Release your anger! I can feel the hate swelling in you now...
But yeah, you're not wrong. Mandeville's reasoning is rather more petty than he'll let on. Not to mention, he doesn't get a whole lot of detractors. His only company is a sycophantic computer that plays yes-man to his every beck and call, after all. He's got good reason to be angry, sure, but not to take it out on the natives.
1333078
Oh, Mandeville has a plan, but it only goes so far.
And yeah, it's pretty obvious what with the preposterous enormity of the facility and the differently designed but no less derivative hydraulic platforms that Mandeville Arms is very inspired by Portal... Notice I never refer to the tiling system using the word "panels". To deny that inspiration would probably be to insult your intelligence.
So you might ask, well, why not just make a Portal crossover? And the answer is... well, it's been done, really, and to pretty great effect I might add.
Besides, GLaDOS might commit atrocities to ponies out of the curiosity of science, but other than that she pretty much wants to be left alone... except when she doesn't. Not a whole lot of room for the kind of far-reaching invasion story I wanted to tell. Going into this story, the mission statement in my mind was, "if Aperture Science got dropped into Equestria, and if Aperture was run by a Bond villain."
Mandeville actually started out as a pretty hollow character in the original drafts. He was sadistic, he was selfish and he just plain didn't care. He was always going to be a coward, but he used to be a snide bastard who would kill a pony just to see them bleed. Similarly, Corey was just going to be a straight-up good guy who tried to heroically take down the villain. There was none of the moral ambiguity you see going on between the two human characters.
Just by fixing Mandeville up to be more... well, human... taking the philosophy that everyone wants to be a good guy. Nobody CALLS themselves evil. People who do evil things always think they're justified in what they're doing. By fixing up Mandeville from the ground up, I made him a bit more complex, something worthy of pity more than outright disgust. Meanwhile, Corey reaped the character benefits of trying to execute a man convicted with no crime, and throwing another world into peril as a result. It's really amazing what things can grow into, even from very simple starting goals.
1334736
Uh... I think you might be surprised.
Mandeville is only limited by his resources. If he has the materials, he can fabricate insane amounts of whatever he likes. Back on his Earth, he would be stymied by a very limited supply chain that could be easily cut off. In Equestria? The land is LOADED with rare earth minerals. He can mine beneath his very facility and yield enough materials to constantly create drones, expand his drone creation facilities, and pretty much whatever he can fathom.
As to fear of the mob... Ever heard of Emperor Qin, first emperor of China? He ruled unopposed until his death, after he swallowed pills of mercury he believed would make him immortal... ironic. He was a vicious tyrant who used what we now call "legalism" to keep the citizenry in line. It worked. Oh WOW how it worked. Look into how legalism functions, and you'll understand why. Mandeville isn't stupid.
1334874
Teleport the sun inside the facility? As in bring a neutron star into the planet's atmosphere? A roiling nuclear furnace brought to bear on the surface of a life-bearing planet? It would be worse than setting off a hydrogen bomb. I'm also not sure if teleporting something that big is quite within Celestia's capabilities. At any rate, Celestia has to busy herself on defense first. If they can repel the first strike against them, she and Luna have a good chance of shutting the whole thing down.
As to anti-magic, it can be overpowered, but it takes a lot, even when cast by a relatively weak unicorn. The enchantment can also be undone, but it's a pretty deliberate action. It's worth doing against a large target, but with small fry it's usually less complicated to just disable them through other means.
1335096
Well, you'd be incorrect. I've had this story planned out for a good long time now, and I've had to consider the things you've asked about on many occasions whenever I'm bored and decide to brainstorm.
As to the sun... how does she split apart the sun? As I see it, its a neutron star with an enormous friggin' mass to it. And I wouldn't even be able to tell you what that might do the the sun's stability
I've no doubt Celestia can influence solar storms or create a focused solar beam at a spot on the earth, but still. And like I said, Canterlot is on defense here first. After? Well, we'll see what happens
1335304
*Shrug* I'm just going by how I figure things would work. Deciding the ultimate boundaries of something as obscurely defined as magic is often rather subjective to how the author sees things.
I'm not hand-waving criticism, by all means I welcome it. I'd rather fix a hole in a story than leave it there to fester like a decaying cavity and try to justify why it doesn't exist.
GOD FUCKING DAMIT!! WHY MAN WHY!!!!!