5351275 I was just about to say all that! Hm... Great minds think alike! Wait... You do have a great mind... Right? I'm really not funny. Why do I bother? I'll show myself out, don't you worry.
I am in tears right now. Spoiler Alert:I just finished the end and it loops perfectly to the beginning and now I'm sad cus she never wins..... The only good thing I can find is the thought that she is still holding strong. amazing story.
Wow! I just finished it and... just... This is SICK. As in "cool", great talent and great story, but also sick as in LITERALLY SICK. If any kids read this, I hope they live close enough to a therapist to get therapy daily. O.O Not insulting your story, though. I just hope no kids find it on their brother's/sister's computer!
There's definitely something missing here. I've never seen you write a chapter so short, and it doesn't even begin at the beginning of a sentence, not to mention everything is severely out of context. Yep, there's definitely something missing from your first chapter. I'll be back to read it when it's fixed. Ciao for now, my favorite literate lemur.
7214529 The way the chapter starts off mid sentence is part of the gimmick of the story and does add to that jarring feeling from the lack of context, dropping you right smack dab in the middle of somethin. The chapters begin and end mid sentence on purpose, as if the chapters could be shuffled around (although certain details that pop up wouldn't make sense too much if they're mentioned out of order) or imply that the ending is actually a loop.
Some people don't like gimmicks cuz they can ruin immersion or make OCD senses tingle (I know mine do) and that's fair enough. Others, perhaps for the same reasons, will find themselves more immersed because of those gimmicks. By gimmicks I mean stuff like white text (hidden text), coloured text, or messing with the very structure of the story. Stuff like that.
OK, this apparent loop thing looks interesting. Doesn't explain why so many people feel the need to make posts about the whole story on the first chapter.
I'm reminded of those bullshit values I see when I forget to put in a null byte.
¡Uncanny!
Oh, skirts; you magnificent and glorious bastard.
Uh..
sprained?
This is...weird.
5351275
I was just about to say all that! Hm... Great minds think alike! Wait... You do have a great mind... Right?
I'm really not funny. Why do I bother? I'll show myself out, don't you worry.
we came in?
This is a great start to a story, gonna go read the rest. Wtf is with the sweetie belle thing though.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.
I'm still reading. The first chapter is...that's cool.
I am in tears right now. Spoiler Alert:I just finished the end and it loops perfectly to the beginning and now I'm sad cus she never wins..... The only good thing I can find is the thought that she is still holding strong. amazing story.
Wow! I just finished it and... just... This is SICK. As in "cool", great talent and great story, but also sick as in LITERALLY SICK. If any kids read this, I hope they live close enough to a therapist to get therapy daily. O.O Not insulting your story, though. I just hope no kids find it on their brother's/sister's computer!
Swarm of the Century. RD is wearing an outfit Celestia's arrival. AJ beats RD in tom boy department.
Can I ask how you made the chapter titles?
Holy shit. This story was freaking amazing. Holy crap.
OH! GOD! IT LOOPS!
Wonder what would happen to newly emerged capitol and Scootaloo that Rainbow created, if this didn't loop back to the ending
Why aren't the sentences finished?? The first and last sentences at least...
...Okay Skirts... Where the fuck is this going? Because so far I don't like it. And all signs point to it only getting worse
There's definitely something missing here. I've never seen you write a chapter so short, and it doesn't even begin at the beginning of a sentence, not to mention everything is severely out of context. Yep, there's definitely something missing from your first chapter. I'll be back to read it when it's fixed. Ciao for now, my favorite literate lemur.
7214529
The way the chapter starts off mid sentence is part of the gimmick of the story and does add to that jarring feeling from the lack of context, dropping you right smack dab in the middle of somethin. The chapters begin and end mid sentence on purpose, as if the chapters could be shuffled around (although certain details that pop up wouldn't make sense too much if they're mentioned out of order) or imply that the ending is actually a loop.
Some people don't like gimmicks cuz they can ruin immersion or make OCD senses tingle (I know mine do) and that's fair enough. Others, perhaps for the same reasons, will find themselves more immersed because of those gimmicks. By gimmicks I mean stuff like white text (hidden text), coloured text, or messing with the very structure of the story. Stuff like that.
OK, this apparent loop thing looks interesting. Doesn't explain why so many people feel the need to make posts about the whole story on the first chapter.
Anyway, intriguing so far.
Oh, I get who the blind date is now. Shit. I think I do.
Gah, I started re-reading it again. Nope noooope.
My god... the beginning is the end. It never ends.. it didn't stop. We didn't stop...
Holy crap, what a way to finish it off with a perfect loop from the end back to the beginning very clever dude.