• Published 19th Sep 2014
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Ron Dash Saves Equestria - Kritten



Ron Dash, the savior of Equestria, is in deep trouble as he faces a new threat in Equestria.

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Chapter 1

It was a summer morning over the long pastures of Equestria, and Ron Dash was no where to be seen. Checking the far corners of the earth, Celestia just could not find Ron Dash with her efforts alone. Equestria was in grave danger, as a big bad thing was going to kill them all. If Celestia could not find Ron Dash, then it would be better to just give up now.

But then suddenly, Ron Dash arrives and confronts Celestia.

“What is it that you want of me?” Ron Dash demands. “I am done saving Equestria, do it yourslef for this one time!” Ron Dash was extremely angry with Celestia after the efforst of the last time he saved Equestria, but Celestia srugged past it.

“I am sorry to bother you Ron Dash, o savior of Equestria,” Celestia pleaded, “But we need a hero once more, as Equestria is in danger from things even I have not seen before.”

Celestia rang her head low in an apologetic stance toward Ron Dash, hoping that it would convince Ron Dash to go for Celestia’s side.

Ron Dash was not pleased, as he had saved Equestria plenty of times before this one time.

“If I save Equestria, will you finally give me peace once and for all?” Ron Dash questioned.

“If that is your wish, then I shall grant it.” Celestia promised.

“Fine, but no taking it back, for I am Ron Dash, super-cool pony-savior of all pony-kind!” Ron enthusiastically said. “So what is troubling you so badly that even you, the pony princess of the sun, can not solve?”

Celestia’s face grew only in more fear. “Ron Dash, the big bad super final boss from previous adventure has came back and he wants vengance and he will do anything to get it.”

“But I thought big bad super final bos is kill!” Ron said, surprised.

“It seems as if your attempts were futile.” Celestia stated.

“Well, no big bad super final boss from previous battle will survive another battle with Ron Dash, the super awesome black-and-red pegasi ryder!”

“Let me show to you where big bad super final boss was last located, Ron Dash, super hero of Equestria.” Celestia said followed by a teleport.

The land was a baren wasteland and no plant life could be seen anwyhere. Ron Dash was confused. “But this is no where final boss battle as fought, what is of this?”

“Ron Dash, o valient hero of Equestria, this si exactly where final boss battle was fought. The final battle you had dececrated the wasteland, ruining all of the plants and life around it. These were your actions, hero,” Celestia stated.

“But this can not be! I am Ron Dash, protector of Equestria!” Ron argued. “It is impossible for a cool and awesome hero like me to do this to the land that I am protecting!”

“But it is true, and it will not get better from you denying it.” Celestia said.

“Fine, so how does this have to do with super bad evil final boss from the past?” Ron cooled off, searching around his area.

“In this location, we find this crystal --” Celestia teleported a crystal into Ron Dash’s sight in front of him. “-- to be the most important crystal of the fight. It holds super powers and powers beyond belivability.”

“What is it made out of?” Ron Dash asked.

“We have no idea, but we believe it is of upmost importance that you use it against your fight against the super bad evil boss, Ron Dash.” Celestia handed the super important green glowing crystal toward Ron Dash, making sure he had a safe spot to keep it safe. “Make sure you put this in an important spot, Ron Dash, for this is the most valuable crystal we have ever seen.”

“Alright Celestia, so where is this super final even bad boss-y final bad guy anyway?” Ron asked, looking at Celestia.

“We have no information of his wareabouts, but we are sure that he is somewhere super evil and spooky looking, as he is the super evil final boss type two after all.” Celestia answered.

“Alright, I can take this investigaiton from here. This looks like a super bad-ass job for Ron Dash, savior of Equestria!” And with that, Ron Dash took to the skies to find this super evil bad boss’s lair for the final battle.

Ron Dash flew so fast and so high that he created multiple sonic booms on his ascent, enough that would destroy any mortal ponies ear-drums, but Celestia was immortal, so she didn’t mind.

Ron Dash flew for twenty minutes after finding small wooden shack in the middle of no where. Curious, Ron Dash flew closer to investigate. Landing at small wooden shack, Ron Dash looked at front and back of building for any superior traps waiting for lurkers like Ron Dash to appear.

Seeing no traps, Ron Dash went inside house to find out it was empty. Ron Dash didn’t know what to make of it until going into the kitchen and finding a gray alien, appearing to be dead on the ground.
“What foul creature dare lays their extraterrestial beings on such a great land as Equestria? Do they have no shame?!” Ron Dash angrily said aloud.

Not much to Ron Dash’s surprise, the appearing to be dead alien sprouted to life, attacking Ron Dash with laser eye vision! Ron Dash expected this, and punched evil bad alien in face, knocking alien out in one hit.

Ron Dash ignored the fact that the alien had just attacked him, as he is too cool to state the obvious.

“How many of you devious aliens are out there on the planet Equestria?” Ron Dash questioned. “Or more like, how many of you are in this very hosue?”

And as if on cue, multiple aliens appeared out of no where, attacking Ron Dash with laser eye vision!

“Oh no, laser eye vision, my only one weakness!” Ron Dash exclaimed, surrounded by countless extra terrestial aliens. Ron Dash fought as hard as he could, but to no avail, Ron Dash fainted to the power of laser eye vision emmited from aliens.

Not long after though, Ron Dash woke up in spaceship on a blank platform. Expecting more aliens, Ron Dash shot up his wings and flew up into the sky, but found no aliens after flying up. Landing back down, Ron Dash looked around and found himself in a blank room with a control panel.

“Is this super evil bad guy’s lair?” Ron Dash questioned, looking around. “No, it’s not possible, super bad evil guy would never take me straight to his lair. This must be control satelite for his super evil bad plan of his!” Ron Dash ran up to the control panel and found out that the staelite had been pointed at Canterlot Castle, and with a quick sequence pressing of buttons, Ron Dash, with his superior knowledge of alien technology and vast knowledge on everything else, canceled the trajectory to th Cnaterlot Castle and aimed it for old wood shack in the middle of wasteland.

“Prepare yourself, extraterrestial alien scum, for I am Ron Dash, and Ron Dash never quits!” Ron Dash said to himself.

Escaping to the nearest door, Ron Dash opened it and found twenty thousand aliens on other side of door! “I am Ron Dash,” Ron Dash exclaimed, “and all of you are in biiig trouble!”

With unmatched speed, Ron Dash flew and destroyed each and every alien scum while doging super deadly lasers emitted form aliens. Ron Dash flew so quickly, that he created multiple sonic booms, destroying most aliens in ship. Ron Dash was so fast, not even a super fast alien could keep up with him, that’s if, they had super fast aliens on the ship, which they didn’t because they underestimated the power of Equestria and Ron Dash.
With all aliens now dead, Ron Dash was pleased and went to ship’s control panel. Sailing at full speed ahead toward Equestria, Ron Dash only had a single minute to execute his plan flawlessly, but since he was Ron Dash, it was quite expected to be, as he is Ron Dash.

Ron Dash flew back to room with control panel in it and sent laser beam toward shack in the middle of no where, destroying house and showing pathway to secret underground base. Ron Dash went back to main control room to steer ship into main passageway to undergound base, and with perfect flying, Ron Dash flew ship directly into hole to underground base.

With large explosion, the ship blew up inside underground base, but not Ron Dash. Ron Dash sailed off in his masterfully crafted hoverbike, doing backflips his entire way through the sky.

Meanwhile, in super evil bad guy super lair.

“Breaking news, super evil bad super guy of evil! Ron Dash, your super arche nemsis and do gooder, has just broken into one of our super evil masterfully placed hidden lairs, and he’s headed this way as we speak!” the butler exclaimed.

“Ron Dash may have destroyed one of my evil super lair of bunkers, but he is no match for my minons of doom!” super evil bad guy yet to be revealed exclaimed. “Send the super evil minions of doom, butler, and get me my super evil laser death cannon of doom.”

“Yes, my liege,” the butler replied.

Back to the super amazing adventures of Ron Dash, Ron Dash had just gotten a super top secret call from Celestia herself!

“Ron Dash, I regret to inform you that the super evil bad guy big boss final had just released some evil minions of doom!” Celestia informed.

“Oh no, not super bad evil bad minions of doom! I’m no match for them!” Ron Dash worried.

“No worries, Ron Dash, for I have sent a special brigade of my own minions of good. Fight alongside them, Ron Dash, for they will need your help.”

“Got it, Celestia.” And with that, Ron Dash hang up and met up with the minions of good.

“Everyone, I am Ron Dash. Most of you may know me, but now is not the time for getting to know each other. The super evil bad guy had just sent over his super evil minions of bad and evil and such and now we have to stop them from reaching deeper into Equestria!” Ron Dash cheered on to his fellow soldiers.

“Yeah!” the soldiers cheered on. And then they were met by super evil minions of bad and the good and bad side fought and many explosions happened.

It was the biggest battle that could be seen for miles across the sky, both sides suffering from many casualties as one by one both sides fought each other. Ron Dash swoop and killed many super minions of bad and saved many minions of good from harms way, hoping for the best that could be on their side of the fight.

Near the end of the battle, only a couple solders on both sides had survived, and the super bad minions of bad had fled for their lives. Ron Dash had none of that and flew fast and kiled the remaining minions of bad. The remaining minions of good were sad instead of happy over the win because of the severe damage that had been caused to their side. Ron Dash knew this, and mourned as well for their fallen comerads.

Later, after the minions of good have went back to Canterlot Castle, Ron Dash had flew once again toward the direction that the minions of bad had came from, knowing that would be the direction in which the evil bad guy’s super lair wold be located at. Ron Dash suspected that this lair would too be located underground, so Ron Dash flew super fast until he spotted yet another wooden shack.

Flying beyond super fast, Ron Dash knew that wooden shack was yet another trap set up by evil bad guy, and that he would not be fooled by same trap again. Ron Dash flew super fast into the air, past the ozone layer, and looked back down onto wooden shack.

Ron Dash flew super fast down toward the earth, creating a billion sonic booms per second, completely destroying wooden shack and everything around it as Ron Dash nosedived straight through ground into super evil bosses lair. Ron Dash hit the bottom of hole of lair with such force, a million aliens all died at once, clearing a path toward super evil bad guy’s lair.

Stomping mad, Ron Dash stomped his way toward super evil bad guy’s lair with extreme force. The doors opened, but except for super bad guy waiting for Ron Dash, his butler was there instead!

“Prepared to die, Ron Dash, for this is your final fight that you will ever remember!” the butler exclaimed.

“I am not afraid of you, butler of evil super final boss! I will destroy you and make my way toward super evil final boss!”

“Don’t be so quick to underestimate me, Ron Dash, for I am super evil weapon that super final evil boss had kept well hidden!”

‘Oh no’, Ron Dash thought. ‘There could not be another super amazing hidden secret from the super bad evil boss!’

“I know what you’re thinking, Ron Dash, arch nemesis of super evil bad guy, but yes, it is true, I am another true secret of super evil boss!” the butler confidently stated.

“It doens’t matter, butler of super secret boss, for I will still defeat you!” Ron Dash said.

“Have at it then!” the butler said, going for an attack.

Being as quick as Ron Dash is, which is super really fast, Ron Dash dodged and counter-attacked with a buck of his hind legs!

“Oh no, you have defeated me, Ron Dash! You truly are as strong as everyone says you are!” the butler said before giving off a high-pitched death-like sound.

“Now, where are you hiding, super evil final boss?!” Ron Dash yelled aloud.

“How dare you come into my office, Ron Dash!” super evil bad guy said, reavealing himself as Jon Dash, previous savior of Equestria! “I am the amazing Jon Dash, savior of Equestria and more importantly, your father!”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!” Ron Dash exclaimed. “But that’s not possible! My father died in a car accident! How could you be my father, and why did you abandon Equestria in it’s time of need! If you hadn’t left, we would still have Baltimare!”

“Son, I am your true dad. I have no idea what your mother did after I had left her, but that was not your true father,” Jon Dash calmly explained. “And I left for my own intentions. I do not regret what I did back then, and I would do it again if I had to!”

“But why?” Ron Dash asked. “Why did you leave Equestria, Jon Dash, and why did you become super evil bad guy final boss?”

“Because, son, in order for you to be stronger, you must first face me, your father!” Jon Dash replied.

“Oh no! I can not fight my father! What ever shall I do?” Ron Dash worried.

Suddenly, the ceiling broke, crushing Jon Dash to death.

“Father!” Ron Dash exclaimed.

“It is done, Ron Dash. Thank you for your cooperation in the fight toward Jon Dash.” Celestia came in explaining through the hole in the ceiling. “But I am sad to inform you that we no longer require you anymore.”

“Celestia? What are you doing here, and what is this of you not requiring me anymore?” Ron Dash demanded.

“You wished for peace, and now you will get it, Ron Dash, for I am the true evil super bad guy!” Celestia exclaimed, her figure burning into a green flame, becoming Queen Chrysalis!

“Queen Chrysalis! How dare you impersonate my Princess Celestia! You knew how close I am to her!” Ron Dash exclaimed. “You shall pay for what you have done to my father as well!”

“I shall pay nothing, Ron Dash, for you are the one who will pay after what you had done to our species! Changelings, surround him!” Queen Chrysalis ordered.

Extra terrestial aliens surrounded both Queen Chrysalis and Ron Dash, no sight of any changelings to be seen instead.

“But wat?! Who are you and where are my changelings and what have you done to them?!” Queen Chrysalis demanded.

“Oh no, the aliens are back, it can not be possible!” Ron Dash exclaimed.

And with a flurry of laser beams, the aliens knocked out both Queen Chrysalis and Ron Dash.

Author's Note:

Part two soon, or will it be? Find out next time, on Ron Dash Saves Equestria!

Comments ( 1 )

Ron Dash.... Ron Dash.... Ron... Dash... good God.

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