Writer of stories involving ponies and humans. Sometimes no humans, but always pony.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice little story so far. Keep it up!
Thanks for the comment! I have the end and most of the middle planned out, so it's a simple matter of writing the chapters.
Adorable works , but life requires that there have to be some bad times to go with the good.
Just from the description, I can tell you why so many folks haven't even bothered to read your story. Never, ever, ever mention G1 characters. It is probably one of the single biggest turn-offs any fic can have. That said, proceeding to read chapter 1.
Boy you just jumped right on in there didn't you. Interesting first chapter and not a direction most folks chose to go. You seem to be taking the old adage of 'actions speak louder than words' to a new level. Using that for character development is an unusual way to do an introduction, but if done properly, it could work to your advantage. If that is the case be sure to make the development of William's back story a slow progression that comes up in little snippets of random conversation.
Moving on to the next chapter.
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I really appreciate that you took the time to comment. I knew before I posted the story that it would face certain challenges here. It has a G1 pony and a human as the main characters. There are a couple of supporting characters that everyone knows. Rarity is the only one of the Mane 6 who's appeared so far, and she only plays a minor part. I'm comfortable with the choices. I think G1 has more going for it than a lot of people give it credit for.
You're right about character development. The difficulty of introducing a relationship that is already strong, while having believable dialogue, is a something I didn't fully predict when I started. I do like the challenge. It's kind of like meeting couples in real life: they already have their own history, and you get to learn it a little at a time while adding new memories.
Don't hesitate to let me know if you have any criticisms, or find you don't want to finish it, or if you like the story.
5080126 If I had to give any single piece of advice, it would be to simply not state that Belle is a G1 character. Just leave it out. Other than that and it's a bit clop heavy, however the clop scenes seem to be of fairly high quality (I'm not too into clop, but I do read a little on occasion). The pacing does seem just a touch fast, but that might just be a personal preference of mine. I am going to Like the story, but I'm afraid I cannot quite bring myself to fave it yet. Send me a PM when you update and I might fave it at some point in the future. I'm a bit picky about faves as I have less than 100.
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Good points all around; I'll take them into consideration. I understand not favoriting; I've favorited fewer than 40 in another account. Thanks again for the comments and the like.
You have a great story in the works with much potential. I am an avid fan of the human in Equestria concept and have read many stories surrounding it. I cannot wait to see where this story will go.
You are so right! No orphans at all!