The Harvesters

by Master_Ovan

Chapter 4: Happy Days

Chapter 4

The moon was high in the sky by the time Shots pulled up beside the trap door in his large cart. It was a gorgeous night. The moonbeams were glaring down on all of the corn field and illuminating the verdant stalks. There was a crisp wind blowing through the stalks. It sounded as though the wind were whispering sweet words into Shots’ ears. In his cart were the incapacitated bodies of three ponies. Two were regular earth ponies and the third was a ‘Time Pony’ as he called them. They had an order for a heart and these ‘Time Ponies’ were the only ponies that had two of them.

Shots opened the trap door and carried the ponies down one by one, placing each of them in the vault. Once his job was done he went to go knock on Pinkies bedroom door. He was nervous and his hooves were sweating out of anxiety. When he got to her door, which was covered in glitter and stickers of cupcakes and other treats, he gulped. After waiting a few seconds he built up the courage to knock. Three knocks and Pinkie finally answered the door.

“Hey, Shotsie! What can I do for ya?” Pinkie asked in her normal jubilant tone.

“Well, I was wondering... You know, if you’re free... If maybe you would like to...” Shots was tripping over his words like he was trying to jump ten foot hurdles in a race. His courage was failing him.

“What is it, Shotsie? You know you can ask me anything!” Pinkie said interrupting his chain of thought.

Shots gulped one more time and abruptly shouted out, “would you like to go on a date with me sometime!?”

Shots sighed, he was so relieved to get that off his chest. His heartbeat finally started to calm down and he regained some composure.

“Of course I will, Shotsie! Why did it take you so long to ask, silly?” Pinkie replied with a great big smile across her face.

“I don’t know, I guess I was just scared.”

Pinkie laughed. “A big strong stallion like you, scared? I don’t believe it.”

Shots started to grin. “How about tomorrow evening? I still have to get that pony the new girl harvested back to where I found him.”

“Sounds great! I can’t wait, Shotsie!” By this time they were both smiling profusely. It was an endearing sight to see them both happy.
After Shots said goodbye to Pinkie he got the pony he needed out of the vault, walked back to the trap door and threw him in the cart. Then Shots proceeded to trot off into the sunrise with a great smile on his face. He couldn't have been happier.

=====================================================================

“Twilight! Wake up! You’ve got an urgent letter from Princess Celestia!” Spike yelled, shaking the bed of the sleeping purple pony.

“Huh? Wha? The princess!?” Twilight said in a drowsy daze and then snapped to her senses, hopping out of bed. “Where’s the letter? What does it say?” She asked frantically.

“It says: Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I have a very important task for you to attend to. My sources tell me that there is a group of ponies in Ponyville that are running an illegal organ harvesting rig. I have little information on the subject as a whole but I have just been informed that their newest member has the power to use magic to heal wounds and apparently extract organs. It is important that you investigate this illegal activity and report to me any clues you have. I am now assigning you the rank of lead detective.” Spike read aloud and then handed Twilight a detective’s badge. “This was attached to the letter when It was sent.”

“Me? Lead detective!?” Twilight questioned. She was ecstatic to have been given such an honorable task. “I’ll have to start investigating right away!”

At the crack of dawn, Twilight set off out the door to start her investigation. Equipped with nothing more than a pad of parchment and her trusty quill, Twilight was ready to conquer the world! That is, if conquering the world meant solving this case. She couldn’t have been happier.

=====================================================================

Back at the underground lab Rarity and Pinkie were getting started on that days orders. Laying on the metal table next to pinkie was a red colt with an hourglass for a cutie mark. Pinkie picked up her scalpel and carefully carved an incision into his chest. She then picked up a small chisel and hammer and cracked his ribcage open to get at one of his hearts. Slowly and surely she severed all the connections of the heart to the major arteries and the other veins making sure to seal them off as she went along. After all the connections were severed she placed the still beating heart, covered in crimson blood, into an ice box.

“Hey, Rarity. Can you heal this guy up for me?” Pinkie asked.

“Why of course darling.” Rarity replied as she walked over to the body. She concentrated on his chest. Gathering all of her magic and focusing it out of her horn the magical pressure began to build in the room. Her horn started to glow that trademark red glow and her eyes blanked out, then they too began to glow. Almost instantly after this the colt’s ribcage mended itself back together. Then slowly but surely the muscle and skin stretched themselves out and welded the incision shut on his chest. When the job was done her horn stopped glowing and her eyes went back to normal.

“Thanks Rarity, It sure is great having you around!” Pinkie said wiping the blood off of the colt and wheeling him back into the vault. “You’re getting the hang of this really quick!”

“I guess so.” Rarity laughed softly. She not only was able to do this dirty job without cringing like she thought she would, but she was actually enjoying her time here. Her first payment was enough to pay all the bills she had backed up over the past three months with a little left over to buy herself some new fabric. She couldn’t have been happier.

Comments

[Psyentific]

Cutie Mark Crusader Organ Harvesters! Yay!

[Oatz]

27561 Knowing them they would get stuck inside one of the ponys, i can just imagine hearing apple bloom from inside another pony

[GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG]

Good work, as always Ovan!

[Master_Ovan]

27580 That's one of the emotions I'm trying to capture in people.

[Master_Ovan]

27580 That's one of the emotions I'm trying to capture in people. 27572 Fixing

[PrinceLexmarkThePrinted]

Ah, I can already see some improvement here. Interesting how this gory, brutal charity act get's everyone involved so happy. This chapter, though shorter than the last two, did not feel as rushed out since you gave the characters some time to react to one anothers actions. Feels good if your advice is heard :)

Anyway, there were two points where I would say you could have, again, been a bit more descriptive. For one, we get Pinkies yes and are told that Shots, the undeniably badass tranquilizer-wielding colt is a bit of a pussy when it comes to relationships. What we are NOT told and what I hope you will explain later on, is how exactly he fell for Pinkie. Sure, she saved him, gave him a purpose, but really, he never says how he felt about her as a person except for that "she saved my sorry flank"-explanation. Since Pinkie is such a deep character, especially with her depressed persona, there is some room to work this out really well.
The second point where I would just have wished to see "more" was Twilights new assignment. The style in the princess' letter was a bit off, since she usually goes on and on in her old-fashioned tone about her "faithful student" and throws some fancy words around. You could have captured this a bit better, as it was technically an official letter and therefore would have felt more in-canon if it had her usual style of writing to it. Also, naive little Spike seems hardly fazed by the whole affair, you could have done some fun things with him here, maybe give him an "are you INSANE!?"-moment.

By the way: I suggest looking for pre-readers. If you want to try it with me, I am willing to test it out and do my best to look for such passages and give a bit of advice. Just send me a Message with a megaupload-link to the word document or something and I will mark the passages in question and add my advice in a different colour so you can quickly work through it. It is a bit of work in the beginning, but saves you a lot of re-writing in the long run.

[Trill]

Why are these chapters so short sadgdhd I finished in under ten seconds flat. I WANT MAOR.

[rainbrodash666]

MOAR pls if that is OK with you

24864
i know. i was talking about a tiny pony's anatomy.
and i will call dibs to say this is not going to end well one way or another

[Trill]

Okay Twilight, I want you to investigate an incredibly dangerous illegal organ harvesting rig, all the while drawing as much attention towards yourself and not taking this seriously at all.

[Master_Ovan]

30100 That's how she do.

[why]

Great! Can't wait for a new chapter.

[EdgarAllanPony]

I'm really liking this so far. The magic system you have in place is really interesting, and I'm eager to see how the story progresses from here.
Tracking this.

[WorldWalker128]

27567
TF2: Meet the medic scene.Only, instead of Archimedes, it's Scootaloo.

You need to get off hiatus. The people need MOOOOOAAAAAARRRRR

[Master_Ovan]

42702 I will sometime. I'm still trying to plan out the next couple of chapters and how to end it.

[Prince Luminarium]

Greetings, Master_Ovan. I have read your story and, dare I say it, was quite addictive and good. Sadly, the chapters was very short and left me hungry for more. It would seem that the story would occasionally go very fast and have hardly any descriptive details. For now, I will give you three stars. I do hope to change this later once I read your future chapters (if you make anymore, that is.)

[SilverShimmer]

I WANT MOARRRR

[Master_Ovan]

3627317 I stopped writing the story D= sorry. If I feel the inspiration I may continue or make a oneshot sometime.

[DiscordFan]

Next thing: Interlude- Pinkie's Date.

Your welcome if this helped at all.

[Robipony]

Is there a chance this story will be finished?

[flamedra]

I would like to see the 4 there, swinging at the end of a rope. It's a very good story, so good that it makes me angry about it. People like her do not deserve a lawsuit but death. Good work