- Member Since 16th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen March 29th
Not another word
It's not the grammar, the spelling, or even reader friendlyness that makes a story great. Sure, Thats what makes it good but, It's what the wrighter can bring to light that makes it great.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Brother Uriel · 52k words · 569 83 · 10k views
- Uncle Smiles · 3.3k words · 68 12 · 1.3k views
- DeliriousCrimson · 55k words · 405 29 · 8.2k views
- Flutter-Sparks · 7.6k words · 51 8 · 1.2k views
- Necrogen Lord · 13k words · 146 14 · 2.5k views
- The Zebra Hybrid · 123k words · 1,022 192 · 26k views
- Roran Dreamon · 255k words · 537 71 · 11k views
- GeneralChaos345 · 41k words · 107 8 · 2.8k views
Featured In1
Stats
Page generated in 0.111 seconds
Total duration
987 users online
2,336,844 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Interesting start.
I await what you give us next.
The only complaint I really have with this, besides a few missing letter here and there, is that the description doesn't really seem to... well describe anything. It's more of a forewarning than anything
I'll bite. Can't say I'll stay, but that could change. Have a like
4916456
As for the missing letters, I will reread the chapter to find them, but I don't think I can find them if my proofreader/editor couldn't.
Addressing the description, I would rather have a forewarning, than having the reader know what is going to happen before it does.
Thank you for the input. I hope to see more in the future.
4917148
4916155
Thank you for taking the time out to read my story, and commenting. The next chapter should be out in a few days, depending on outside influences.
'Celestia:The commissar of the third reich. '
In other words: CONFORM
You've got to work on your pacing. This is moving way to quickly. I like the idea you have going, but as is, it's too bare bones. Add some meat (detail), help your readers visualize what you want them to see. I'm sure this all makes perfect sense in your head but I can only infer from what I'm given to read. I'll keep an eye on this one.
4929372
This advice has proven to be invaluable while I was writing the second chapter, (about halfway done BTW) and I believe I succeeded in slowing down the pace to an acceptable level. Probably would have failed without that.
In my defence, I wanted to get the basic direction of my story out as fast as possible. If anyone did not like the concept, or my style, I wouldn't waste much of their time. finally most of the people that I can see relating to the MC wouldn't want to read two thousand plus words, just to get the basic direction.
That sounded a lot less insulting in my head, but you probably get where I was coming from there.
...Good job!
So looks like he's going to become the leader of the diamond dogs, and they will go ham on the ponies.
an interesting story, go on mortal thou hast mine interest
4956298 did some call for a proffreader?
5062159
Yes, my excessive advertisements have paid off!
Its pretty late where I am, so I will PM you my skype name in the morning, (Two PM-ish) and we can talk about it.
If not, then we can try some other method. Lets hope that it does not resort to youtube chat.
awesome and funny keep up the good work :D
i.ytimg.com/vi/LnEeF9LJQBs/hqdefault.jpg
It is good to see that this story still continues
I'm curious how it will develop this story
greetings and good luck
Where will thoughts of property rights and hatred for despotism come in?