• Member Since 25th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Sep 18th, 2012

Shoryu

I'm one of those bronies from outside the US. Fancy that.

Shoryu Joined 25th Nov, 2011 · Offline

Also LikedSimilarAuthor

Comments ( 2 )
-Brutus
-Brutus #1 · Apr 14th, 2012 · · ·
Reply

Overall good, but you need to make paragraphs bit shorter and space some of it as well, then you're good to go.

Also having a proof-reader or editor would help as well.

Shoryu
Shoryu #2 · Apr 14th, 2012 · · ·
Reply

450732

Thanks for the input, I'll try and iron out the bugs in this chapter before working on the second chapter.

Login or register to comment

Stats

Page generated in 0.057 seconds
Total duration
860 users online
596,888 hits today, 2,724,632 yesterday

• Site Statistics

FIMFiction

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024

• Privacy
• Cookies
• Staff
• Licenses

Follow & Support Us

Support us
SubStar Chat!
Discord Follow us
Twitter

MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®