The Three Sisters: Like Fudge
By Wanderer D
Chapter 12: You Are What You Eat
The Cutie Mark Crusaders and Thysa were working on their plans for Nightmare Night when Sweetie's stomach growled. "Girls," she said, "I'm hungry."
Apple Bloom and the others stopped designing blueprints for their project and looked at each other. "Yeah, Ah'm hungry too," she confessed, tapping her jaw pensively. "But what could we eat?"
"I just want to go somewhere that has options," Thysa groaned, her stomach also grumbling. "No offense, but being limited to salads doesn't really cut it."
"Hey, how about that Ammassalikian place on the other side of town?" Scootaloo asked after humming to herself. "You know, the one the griffon's go to whenever they visit?"
"Uh, isn't that a carnivore restaurant?" Apple Bloom asked after some hesitation. "Ah don't know if we should go there."
"Nah," Scootaloo shrugged. "It's owned by a Minotaur, so it's more of an omnivorous restaurant, so they do salads. I hear the specialty has olives in it. Supposed to be pretty good."
"And I could order something other than grass!" Thysa clapped her hooves together. "Sounds great!"
"We don't only eat grass!" Apple Bloom complained as they stood up and walked out of their club house. "We also eat vegetables! And fruit!"
"It's okay, Bloom," Sweetie said, patting her friend's shoulder. "She didn't mean it that way."
"I will find a way to punish them!" Diamond Tiara growled for the fortieth time. "They will rue the day they decided to play pranks on me!"
Silver Spoon said nothing, merely content to follow Diamond Tiara's lead. It wasn't like she had any pangs of regret or wanted to avoid them. No sir. She barely managed to stop herself before she slammed onto Diamond Tiara's rump. "Tiara! Tell me before you stop so suddenly!"
Diamond Tiara looked back at her and made shushing gestures. Silver Spoon frowned and looked past her, realization dawning on her as she saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Thysa walking across the street and entering a restaurant.
"Ew. They went into that omnivore restaurant with the weird cook!" Diamond Tiara made gagging noises.
"I hear the salads are pretty good," Silver Spoon said automatically, before catching herself.
Diamond Tiara's eyes glinted. "Really? So that's what they're going to eat." She watched the patrons of the restaurant giving the Crusaders odd looks, but forgetting about them quickly enough. "And look at all those gryphons, diamond dogs and Minotaurs. I bet if we put the wrong food in their plates the Crusaders are going to be so disgusted they'll throw up and upset everyone else in there." She turned to look at Silver Spoon. "And you know how defensive carnivores are about their disgusting eating habits."
"I dunno, Tiara, that might b—"
"Oh, come on," Diamond Tiara interrupted. "Remember that time we teased that gryphon merchant for a whole hour about how uncivilized he was for not being a vegetarian? And we even made up statistics, misquoted the news and exaggerated the effects of meat on any species?"
Silver Spoon shifted uneasily. "Um, yeah... but that's different, we weren't surrounded by carnivores and throwing up their food... the Crusaders might actually get hurt."
"Nah, they'll be embarrassed and get kicked out, but they wouldn't really hurt some fillies." She nudged Silver Spoon. "Come on. Let's go. For all we know they already eat meat, just like all those losers. After all, you are what you eat."
The first thing they noticed was that all the other customers were glancing their way. It was a bit unnerving to have all those omnivores and carnivores staring at them, but after a slight hesitation, the crusaders stepped forth, found a table and sat around it.
Soon enough, after some amused glances, the other patrons turned their attention back to their meals and resumed their conversations.
"Wow, this place is intense!" Scootaloo whispered excitedly. "I bet Rainbow Dash comes here all the time to hang out with her gryphon relatives."
The others exchanged uneasy glances.
"Um, Scootaloo," Apple Bloom spoke up finally. "Rainbow Dash is a pony, she has no gryphon relatives."
Scootaloo snorted. "Of course she does. Fluttershy told me. That's why Gilda stayed with her in her home while she was here and it was okay for them to do stuff together. They're cousins."
Sweetie Belle groaned and rested her head on the table while Thysa bit her lip and Apple Bloom looked at Scootaloo like she had grown a second head. "Scootaloo, that's not why—"
"Well! Hello, little fillies, and welcome to "The Jovial Traveler"!" a voice interrupted. They turned to look at a large, muscular minotaur with a comically small notebook in his huge hands. "My name is Golden Strength, and this is my restaurant. What can I get for you today?"
"Um, can we look at the menu?" Thysa asked. "I want to see the options we have!"
"Why, sure! Let me bring you the pon—"
"I'd like the full menu, please," Thysa pleaded.
The minotaur shrugged and pulled out four menus, leaving them on the table. "Take a look, the salads are in the back." He pointed at a gryphoness who was currently attending another table. "Sæla will take your order when you're ready. I'll have her bring you some water to drink."
And with that, the minotaur chef was gone.
The crusaders studied their menus for a moment. Sweetie whimpered. "T-they serve Fruit Bats."
Apple Bloom leaned forth. "Sweetie, just order a salad. Ah know it can be disturbing but we need to be—"
She was once again interrupted when a gryphoness set four mugs full of water in front of them. She blew a stray feather away and raised her eyebrow. "The name's Sæla and I'll be your waitress for today. Did you fillies already make your decision?"
The fillies looked at each other and shrugged.
"We hear you have a very good salad? The house special?"
Sæla chuckled. "No wonder Golden came out to see you in person. Most of the patrons here are too sick of salad from just about everywhere else in Equestria, so he doesn't get to make it that often."
"That would explain why he looked slightly disappointed when we didn't ask for it immediately," Thysa noted.
"That would be why," Sæla agreed.
"Well, we want four of them!" Apple Bloom said.
"Nope, we only want three," Thysa said immediately. "I'd like to order a Dreki salad."
Both of Sæla's eyebrows went up. "Are you sure? That's not normal pony fare."
Thysa nodded. "I've had them before."
"If you say so!"
Sæla quickly wrote the order, picked up the menus and left the group with a sideways glance. "I have to go out for a bit, but if your order is ready Æðra will bring it over, okay?"
The fillies nodded and watched her leave.
"Why did they have to have Fruit Bats?" Sweetie hissed once she was out of sight.
"You want some? I could order them," Thysa grinned. "But don't worry, I'll share."
"Yuck," Scootaloo whispered. "Don't joke about that."
Apple Bloom nodded, looking a bit green. "Ah know your diet is different, Thysa, but we ponies don't eat that. What is Dreki salad?"
"It means dragon salad," Thysa explained.
"Ew! Is it made of dragons?"
Thysa's reply to Scootaloo was to look at her steadily in the eye until the pegasus filly lowered her eyes.
"Okay, that was stupid. But what is it then?"
Thysa considered the three fillies for a moment. "I think you're better off not knowing."
Sæla put the order slip on the counter. "Order up!" she called, "Golden, I need to do that errand from earlier, I already told Æðra to take my tables. I'll be back soon!"
There was an acknowledging grunt from the kitchen, and nodding, she left, not noticing that the slip was quickly taken by a soft-pink hoof.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Silver Spoon whispered.
Diamond Tiara grinned. "Yes, I am. I got them the most disgusting things I could find. Imagine their faces when they get four orders of those and this thing I found in the salad section that has meat, eggs... bleh. It's even drenched in spicy sauce. I bet they throw up their breakfast just at the smell of all of it." She quickly imitated the hoof writing and added several lines to the order. "They'll also get stuck with a higher bill!"
Silver Spoon cringed. "I think this might be a bit much."
Diamond Tiara shook her head. "Come on, we don't want to get caught, but I really want to find a place where we can watch."
"Speaking of dragons," Apple Bloom said—after the three crusaders had considered Thysa's words and decided that they really didn't want to know—, "What's going on with you'n Spike?"
Thysa blushed. "W-well, nothing. Yet." She sighed. "I think Spike still likes auntie Purity. It's kinda hard to compete with a Queen."
Sweetie Belle patted Thysa's forehoof. "It's okay, Thysa, you know that Purity doesn't see Spike that way. She loves him as a friend, and I'm sure he'll catch on that he's missing out on spending time with a cute ch—girl like you."
They all looked around warily, trying to determine if anyone in the room had heard Sweetie's slip. When it was clear they were not paying attention to them, they all relaxed.
"Thanks Sweetie," Thysa grinned. "I'm just biding my time. I'm sure Spike will realize that I am his destined love!" She started cackling madly, drawing the attention of other patrons to them.
"Um... yeah, sure," Apple Bloom said hurriedly, elbowing Thysa. "But how about you don't channel your mom."
"Oh," Thysa grinned sheepishly, cutting off her cackles. "Sorry about that."
"Here's your order," a voice said, and they turned to look at a female minotaur balancing a large tray. "Who's the Dreki for?"
"Me!" Thysa said, raising her hoof.
The plate was set in front of her.
"I have three house salads?"
"Over here!" Scootaloo said, motioning to herself, Sweetie and Apple Bloom.
The minotaur swiftly placed all three salads in front of them, and then proceeded to place four plates of cooked fruit bats in front of each filly. "Okay, there's your order. Is there anything else you'd like?"
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were staring in horrified fascination at the stacked plates placed in front of them. "W-wait! We didn't order this!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.
"Yeah! We'd never eat something like that!" Scootaloo added.
Conversation in the room immediately ceased. "Is there a problem with eating meat?" A diamond dog growled from a table, eyeing the fillies. "Maybe you shouldn't be here if you can't take it."
"Or maybe they just think they're better than us, meat eaters, because they only eat plants," a gryphon added. "You ponies are always lording over us how better you are because you don't eat meat."
There were some mutterings of agreement from other patrons, and the crusaders wilted under the accusatory glances of the other patrons.
"We've never done that!" Apple Bloom complained. "We just don't eat meat! Don't mean we think any less of others that do!"
"Besides!" Sweetie Belle jumped up. "We all know that fruit bats are delicious, right? We don't think they're disgusting at all!"
"Is that so?" The diamond dog asked.
"Y-yeah," Scootaloo replied. "We just didn't order them, that's all!"
"Yeah!" Apple Bloom seconded. "We uh, we just don't wanna get stuck with the bill."
The diamond dog grinned. "Well, four nice little fillies like you... tell you what, I'll pay for your whole meal if you finish off the fruit bats. It's only fair they don't go to waste."
"Uh, how about we pay for our own, and you can have the fruit bats?" Scootaloo offered.
"No, no," the gryphon said, stepping up next to the diamond dog. "We all know they're delicious, right? We couldn't deny you fillies the pleasure."
"Really?!" Sweetie's eyes widened. "You'd really pay for us to eat them?"
The diamond dog and the gryphon shared a smile. "Sure."
"But if you don't eat them... or throw up... we will be very, very upset."
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom shared worried looks, turning to look at Thysa. "Can you, uh... finish them?"
Thysa blinked. "And my salad? Oh, hive no. But I can finish a plate."
"That leaves three more..." Scootaloo said weakly. She gulped, fighting the rising bile in her throat. "I don't—"
She stopped when another plate of salad was pushed her way and the plate of fruit bats was dragged away.
She looked up at Sweetie Belle who had two full plates of fruit bats in front of her. "S-sweetie you can't..."
"What's going on here?" Golden Strength roared, parting the gathered crowd. "Why are you antagonizing my customers?"
"We ain't done anything," the diamond dog growled. "These fillies started insulting our food!"
"I've been antagonized myself plenty of times by fillies their age just because I eat meat!" the gryphon added. "And after ordering food, our food they just make fun of it? That's just shameful!"
"I know you like ponies, Golden," the female minotaur waitress added, "But these kids need to learn a lesson in manners."
"I'm not going to let you—"
"It's okay, Mr. Golden," Sweetie called. "We don't mind!"
"We don't?!" Scootaloo and Apple Bloom asked in tandem, staring at Sweetie Belle in disbelief.
"Girls!" Sweetie hissed." They're paying for our dinner!"
"IF we eat dead animals!" Scootaloo hissed back.
"They're fruit bats! They're like... fruits," Sweetie elaborated, trying to remember what Chrysalis had said. "Uh, you know "Fruit Bats". They’re just like timber wolves. You know. Plants.”
Apple Bloom leveled a very unamused look at Sweetie. "Sweetie. That's a complete lie and you should be ashamed of yourself. Next thing you're going to say is that bacon is also a plant."
"Hmm..." most of the patrons spoke up, including Thysa and Sweetie. "Bacon."
Scootaloo buried her face in her hooves. "This is... I just don't know what to say."
"Oh, just give me the fruit bats."
"Tiara, I'm really not sure about this," Silver Spoon spoke up.
"Hah! Look at them! They already got everyone in there angry!"
"Tiara, they're getting surrounded! Maybe we should call the police."
Diamond Tiara rounded on Silver Spoon. "I don't know what got into you, Silver Spoon, but I am getting my revenge. And your sympathy for those little cretins is not appreciated."
"They might get hurt!" Silver Spoon finally snapped at her friend. "Tiara, if anything happens to them because you changed the order, it's going to be our fault!"
"Hah, like anypony will even know it was us." Diamond Tiara sneered. She blinked when a shadow fell over the both of them and looked up to the face of a very annoyed looking gryphoness.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom stared, their own salads forgotten, as Thysa and Sweetie Belle scarfed down fruit bats like mares possessed.
And they weren't the only ones. The whole group of carnivores around the could only stand with open-jawed awe as the two decimated the four plates of fruit bats in record time. Finally, both fillies leaned back, stomachs full and burped in unison.
"Ugh..." Thysa groaned. "I haven't seen anypony down as many as those as auntie Purity..." she glanced at Sweetie. "I guess we really are related."
Sweetie burped once more.
"Well?" Golden Strength glared at the diamond dog and the gryphon. "Here's their bill."
The diamond dog looked down at it and winced. "O-of course."
"And here," Sæla spoke up from behind the group, making them part to reveal her and two fillies. "Are the culprits behind the additional items."
"Silver Spoon?" Scootaloo asked, surprised.
"And Diamond Tiara." Sweetie shook her head and tried to push herself forward with no success. "Why am I not surprised?"
"I overheard these two saying they had changed the order," Sæla explained.
"Hey, I know those two!" the male gryphon that had sided with the diamond dog said. "They kept chasing me just last week all over downtown telling me I was an uncivilized barbarian because of my diet! I couldn't sell a single thing that day."
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon cringed.
"Well then," Golden Strength spoke up. "Maybe we should call their parents."
All of the patrons muttered in agreement.
"But," Golden added, looking at the diamond dog, "You're still paying for their meal. And you both..." his glare included the gryphon from earlier. "Are going to try my salad."
Good one
I think Æðra is pronounced like "Aithra"?
Lol, also about what Diamond Tiara said, does that mean Diamond eats female dogs????
5382838 I dunno, but that means that I am pizza incarnate... <.<
5382879 Dude, search up the term for a female dog, it was a joke meant to make fun of the worst character.
It has been shown on the cartoon that ponies eat eggs, so it doesn't make sense that Diamond Tiara would use that as an example.
Loved it! Golden Strength is the
manminotaur! Hope to see more soon!5382949 ... If you REALLY think I didn't know what you were talking about, then you need help. I was just trying to be funny. ~_~
Well, that backfired. Maybe if she didn't choose fruit bats...
That was great! Crap, now I want bacon, but I don't have any bacon. What a world!
thanks for the update!!
Hooray, an update! Keep it up! Seriously DT, you've gotta stop this! That could have turned out a lot worse. Why does Scootaloo think RD and Gilda are related?
5382838
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/011/848/cold.jpg
I think the best thing here is Fluttershy lying to the fillies about Dash and Gilda. I can so see her lying if it's the nice thing to do, or in this case avoiding confrontation.
5383049
Fluttershy lied to Scootaloo to cover up the fact that Rainbow Dash and Gilda were making out/having sex and Scootaloo seemed to have gotten an eyeful of it at some point.
Probably with the "just a friendly kiss" / "special hug", sorta thing. Or if she's got a bit of Suthren in her, "kissin' cousins".
So many callbacks! I had to run back to The Three Sisters: Extended Family to reread that initial scene, because this just killed me with laughter.
5382975 Yeah, it wasn't funny.
So Sweetie finally got some more fruit bats. And her friends know about her new eating habits. lol
Wait I thought Rarity was getting a chef who knew how to cook them. Between that and the west orchard, shouldn't she be able to have some almost anytime she wants?
Hmm... what is Thysa to Sweetie anyway? A half step-niece?
So Golden's bar is the sugarcube corner of the more intresting people. Cool. I can totally see Purity and Chrysalis making a party there or Thysa and Spike haveing a date!
I like that chapter. It has much personality.
Also Wanderer just made me hungry. Let him fear I might eat some of his words...
I'm proud that I could pronounce the Griffonic names in this chapter. Thanks, linguistics class!
... Alright, I kind of want to try fruitbats now.
Poor Silver Spoon. I hope this will be the tipping point for her.
I wonder how fruit bats would taste if wrapped in bacon?
Looking forward to more
5383429
Chrysalis' favorite snack: Fruit bat wrapped in bacon, dipped in chocolate on a pocky stick.
5383542 ....That....actually sounds ok, if Fruit Bat Skewers are anything like Takiyaki...
Not gonna lie, I really want a fruit bat right now.
I can sum this chapter up with one phrase: OM NOM NOM!
Instead of trying that salad Diamond should be an ingredient.
Oh I still remember my mental image of how horrified Sweetie was when she first tried Fruit-bat. Yet she had another Fruit-bat in her mouth before the shock had even passed.
What wonderful memories.
P.S: I wonder if there's lemon Fruit-bats. I would love a bacon wrapped one of the lemon variety. But no bloody chocolate... I don't like chocolate... Though hot cocoa is good. Especially on a cold winter day.
Well, at least that didn't get too awkward.
mmmmmm ... Fruit Bats ....
I've always imagined that fruit bats in this story tasted like chewy Fruit Gushers.
Dangit, WandererD, you got me wondering just why Rarity and Sweetie Belle like those bats so much. lol
I always got the impression that the fruit bats were like the timber-wolves - an interesting hybrid of plant and animal. It isn't clear which side they favor; they could be autonomously flying fruit, or bats with plant characteristics.
Anyway, to a pony, they might taste like a lot like whatever fruit they represent, with the addition of an exotic texture and unusual overtones.
If that's the case, it's not hard to imagine Sweetie Belle and Rarity liking them so much, while still having reservations about enjoying eating them.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter. :)
Still laughing
Nice chapter, I do hope Silver Spoon gets fed up with Diamond Tiara and breaks off from her, this last stunt could very well have gotten ugly for the Crusaders.
5383049 Fluttershy didn't want to tell her Dash and Gilda were making the beast with two backs and have to explain the facts of life to a filly. I can just imagine her face getting redder and redder if she tried until she passed out, leaving a very confused Scootaloo.
Rainbow Dash and Gilda are Haruka and Michiru?
did thysa ate a pony salad?
Ah, justice is sweet. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
5384964
I figure they basically taste like fruit leather.
5385705
Nah, that's just the wings. The body totally has a (fruit) juicy center, though.
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/e/e4/Treats_turn_into_hors_d%27oeuvres_S4E23.png/revision/latest?cb=20140428211600
And. fish (it's canon), and eggs (lots of eggs and egg based products). I wonder where all the cake, cupcakes, muffins, eggs, and pasta went? Seriously is Thyssa bnned from Sugar Cube Corner or something?
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No way they'd say that in the show. Especially with the fact that eggs are eaten and used in everything in the shows food stuffs. Ponies in the show are more lacto-ovo Vegans with a good bit of high society (that we know of) being Pescetarian
_______________
I find it funny that the show says ponies are vegans, but contradicts itself on many occassions, the fish bit sealing the deal. But yeah, horses on Earth (real ponies not mlp ones) can eat meat. Although most tend to become aggressive if it becomes a regular part of their deit. But none the less interesting set up. Especially when we see them finally eat meat that hasn't been dressed up.
Ponies are canonically:
-plant eaters
-milk drinkers
-fish/crustacean eaters
-egg eaters
5387869 5386533 that doesn't mean that all of them do, or more accurately, doesn't mean that DT won't consider people that eat all of that PLUS meat—as in every dish she complained about—uncivilized.
5387869 Which episode did they eat fish/crabs?
5386533
Wait, really? That's fking awesome!
5388108
http://horses.about.com/od/feedingyourhorse/a/What-Not-To-Feed-A-Horse.htm
(Under the meat section).
http://www.thehorse.com/articles/13831/follow-up-carnivorous-horses
__________________
5388011
Explain?
I mean, Milk Shakes, Pies (which the award winning one contained egg products (MMMckae)), Cakes, and other things that require eggs and or dairy in their production are a main focus in the show. After all Pinkie Pie works in such an establishment that gets lots of in show attention. And are things we see Deets eat when we see her eat at all. Salads are actually something I've never seen digested on the show other than by Angel Bunny.
We even see cheese. Another Dairy based product. So Technically even ignoring Deets talks of being uncivilized (which needs explaination). Apple Bloms statement is canonically false. Since she in fact does go to Sugar Cube Corner, and if Thysa had gone there she would not have worried about only eating plants. Since places like that shop have much more variety than that.
Although yes. Ican see things like Fish being more of a high society, and a pegasus specialty / delecacy. With the other races eating it in certain locales / places that are more seafaring. But technically ponies can and do eat more than only fruits, salads, and grass.
Oh another pic of non plantness.
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/e/e8/Rarity_"Now_easy"_S2E05.png/revision/latest?cb=20130829105246
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/6/6c/Sweetie_Belle_Wait_5_S2E5.png/revision/latest?cb=20130102043600
5388526 That is cool. God, I'm so tempted to buy a horse and feed it meat to make it vicious.
This must be canon.
5388561
Nah, Equestrian Horses are like humans. They don't out right say it, but we see them eat things that'd kill horses (like lots of apples in their diets, and ketchup). Here's an interesting quote:
So I'm sure they can heat the tasty juicy flesh of meat (pig), meaty meat (cow), or meat light (poultry) without any real side effects. I think the whole herbavoire / vegan thing on the show was the errors making a kerfluflle with the english language. Or Pinkie said it to perposefully start the Buffalo War because her Pinkie Sense told her their'd be Pie.
5388093
Take a very very close look at TheGreatEater's post immediately before my post that prompted your question.
Like how Sweetie Belle hiss at her friend to let her eat the fruit bats.
Of all food DT could have been pick .fruit bats
Commence read.
Never had bat before, but fruit bat would sound interesting...