Cadence

by memphisgurl

Drowning

My Faithful Student,

The last letter that you sent me was quite well thought out, and it she'd a new light upon a large portion of my past as well as the present. For that I wish to tell you something that I've never told anypony else. Not even my sister.

Drowning.

Each wave of pain pulled me down, further and further into the current. Down and down I went, struggling, struggling, struggling to get to the top. The thin string keeping my lifeless body alive was tearing, breaking, snapping. All I wanted was to surface, surface to the top and breathe. Once. Just once.

The imaginary weights were compressing my chest, prohibiting any oxygen from entering.

I couldn't breathe.

My heart was like an open wound, throbbing, throbbing, throbbing. There was so much pain I was numb. There were so many tears my vision was blurred. There was so much agony and heartache, I felt everything inside of me crack and fall out of place.

I placed a hoof over my mouth, fighting back the sobs that were burning at the back of my throat. Each surf of pain that struck me made me stumble forwards and fall to my knees onto the rough soil beneath me. My head was tilted upwards, looking blankly into the sky, and I wondered, why would Luna do this? Why didn't I see the signs of her changing?

Muffled sobs escaped me, one after the other, I'd promised myself not to cry over her, but I couldn't help it. The image was still there, dented into my memory, and all I wanted to do was die because I loved her more than anything. I loved her more than I thought I could love anybody and she hadn't even loved me. She wanted to overthrow me. Her own sister! I thought she would come out of her depression, so I left her alone, but no, my sweet little sister had become a monster. And I had to banish her.

It didn't make sense to me; why were good ponies hurt so much?

The pain was back, so much of it inside me. I didn't know what to feel, all I wanted to do was go home and cry and cry and cry to my heart's content, until everything was alright. Until the tears drowned out my sorrow, and I was numb from crying so much, and maybe she'd come running back to me. Maybe she'd cradle me to her chest, apologize, and kiss my face all over, telling me she'd made a mistake, and that she would never hurt me again. She'd tell me how much she loved me, and how we were going to live together for eternity, and be happy.

Stupid me.

She wasn't going to change. Not for me. Not for anybody.

Love's a painful thing, it makes you so blind. I was so content with things the way they were, that I chose to ignore the warning bells in my head. The warning bells that told me to do something, telling me she'd hurt me, but I didn't listen because I was so happy. So glad that my sister and I could rule Equestria for the rest of time and keep all of the ponies safe. I thought everything was perfect. I felt like I was floating on cloud nine. To me, my life was complete and nothing could get any better.

But then everything changed.

That one moment that turned my world upside down.

That one moment when I saw something no one should ever have to see, and my whole world came crashing down in front of my eyes. It hurt so much that I was consumed in grief, so much hurt that I was frozen. I tried to beg and protest as Luna became Nightmare Moon. But she wouldn't listen. She'd had enough. I didn't know how long this had been going on for, so I had to do what was best for Equestria. I chased, and chased, and chased after the monster that had replaced my sweet Luna. Finally, I did it. I took the Elements and used them against my only remaining family. She was gone, and I ran. Tried to get away from what I'd done. I ran until I was alone. Until I was away from everything and everypony. My head was pounding and my heart racing. I didn't deserve that because nopony deserves to ever go through something like that.

The thought of her, it killed me, it drained my body emotionally, mentally, and physically because I didn't deserve that. Because I was a good pony who was just trying to take care of all my subjects. Yet, I found myself unable to breathe, pulled back down by the current.

Drowning.

Drowning.

Drowning.

But now, after a thousand years, I have Luna back. I've found my cadence. Thank you, Twilight. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Yours truly,
Princess Celestia

Comments

[Dusty Sage]

A story in the form of correspondence is tricky to pull off; you've made what I think is a good start on this one. (There will be more, won't there? Please say there'll be more.)

[memphisgurl]

4508306 I'm glad you like it! However, I wasn't planning on continuing this.

[rogueunicorn]

Brilliant.

[memphisgurl]

4574843 Thanks! I didn't think it was that good, but I'm glad you liked it.