dominant species

by Midnight Aurorus

A new pet

Author's Note:

Yes, i know i am not the best writer ever, but please comment the good things that you found... im here to find what i do good so i can build off of that, not the bad things that put me down.

Well.... here it is, chapter 3, if i keep getting negative feedback, i might have to put this story down...

Obviously, I need a proof reader to help guide me, so is anybody up for it D:)

My senses started coming back to me. Yet i felt diferent (NOT CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT THERE WAS BLOOD ALL AROUND HIM, for the picky people -,-) I felt almost as if something was watching over me. But i didn't see it. So i assumed that it had gone.

When I got out of the restroom and luna found me, she had had a blood drained face.

Luna:"WHERE WERE YOU I WAS SO WORRIED, WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN BLOOD, WHY IS YOUR CHEST STICKING.... WHY DO YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR CHEST!!!!!!!!!!"

She wasn't mad, but she seemed real frustrated, and at the same time super, super, super, worried... like I mean super worried.

Midnight: "well, obviously something came out of my chest and i dont know where it went!"

Luna: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOMETHING CAME OUT OF YOUR CHEST, NOTHING SHOULD COME OUT OF YOUR CHEST!!!!"

Luna: "you had me soo..."

Midnight:"hold up, do you hear that????"

Luna:"hear what?"

Odd voice:(look above you)

And of course the craziest things have to happen to me, so when i look up, i see the thing that came out of my chest....

Midnight: with a regretful face "WHY ME??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

But we were both freightened of what it was gunna do, but it just sat there, staring.

Odd voice: (why'd you scream????)

The thing almost had a childish tone in its voice.

Midnight: "luna..."

Luna: "what?"

Midnight: "that, things talking to me...." we were both staring at it still.

"But how can it talk to you" said Luna.

"I dunno... telekinesis, or something like that, lemme ask if it ain't gonna hurt us"

(If I wanted to hurt you then I would have) said the chest buster.

"Oh really" said midnight.

(...really)

"MIDNIGHT!!!!!!"

The force of which Luna yelled nearly made me lose my head.

"What happened!"

"Why are you talking to yourself??????" Said Luna

"WHAT, no, I'm talking to her"

"What makes you think it's a her"

(HEY!!!!!!) ALTHOUGH MENTALLY she was yelling, she was hissing in reality.

"Because I know.... don't judge"

All of a sudden something came out from the ceiling, it was a bigger version of the one that came out of me, but it didn't have wings.

(RUN!!!!!)

So we ran.

But then a couple more surrounded us...

---

alixeno's OC

I felt them but I didn't believe it... why didn't I believe it...

They were about to get both of them before I channeled myself to them and screamed, (STOP!!!!!!!!!)

To the two alicorns it sounded like a hiss. But the xenos seemed to hear it, and it got across to them that i wasn't very happy.(A.N. Hmmm..... I wonder what that means (:<)

---

After my chestburster hissed, they stopped, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.

Well actually I heard her yell "STOP", but still, HOW.

(GO AWAY), said the alixeno, and of course, they went away.

This was just a thought that came up so I asked, "what should we name her"

"WHAT!!!!!!" That's all that came out of Luna mouth.

"Ya'know, I'll name her Star Shimmer, that sound good to y'all"

(I'm fine with it)

"NO, WHY WOULD YOU NAME IT!!!!!!"

"Cause she's mine"

Comments

[Madimimi]

People, don't be rude, mmkay? This is, as he said, his first story EVER. I bet you didn't do Shakespeare worthy work on your First Ever story. He needs encouragement, not rude comments about Gary Stu's and Alicorn OCs. As for the writer, a good idea would be to go and capitalize the sentences maybe, and the word 'I '. Also try not using the chat format in writing. :3

[Midnight Aurorus]

4452706 thx for the encouragement I'll read over it and fix it.

[Midnight Aurorus]

Well, to those who shall give me another chance, I am writing a crossover of assassins creed and of course mlp, and I'm getting help from one of my most favorite writers of all time, DarkPheonix, and also check out his story dominant species.

[Patient X]

R.I.P. Deleted comments