The suffering
chapter two
The suffering
midnight
All i heard at first was nothing. I still couldn't see as well. A few minutes passed and i was finally able to hear and see.
"W-where am... I???" The place was beautiful. The bed was comfortable, the walls and doors were made of obsidian, but were formed into a pattern where nobody would care even if it was all obsidian. The drawers were made out of beautiful oak, the couch was made out of a nice, light tinted, purple cloth. The place was just so....
"hey! You're awake!"
It was a familiar voice. I turned to face luna and she was beautiful as always. "What... happened???" I asked.
"Well, you were face hugged by an extraterrestrial spider thingy. But after about an hour it just came off and died...."
All i could get out was, "oh..." wait, why am i not shy... "Where am i????"
Luna said, "You're in my room of course!"
----------------------------------------------------
luna
At least he's awake, but why did he act so weird at that ship??? "Ya wanna get something to eat?"
Then he said "why not, i feel like i havent eaten in days"
On the way to the chow hall (cafeteria) i couldnt stop thinking about him. He's just so handsome. All of a sudden he fell. I got worried and i immediately asked if he was okay. But then he said he was fine. But he saw that i wasnt convinced.
-----------------------------------------------------
midnight
Oh god my chest, why does it hurt so much? All of a sudden a sharp pain that i could not bear shot through me, and i fell. I looked up and saw the worry in Luna's face.
"Are you okay???" She asked.
I just nodded and told her that im fine, even though it still stung. I got up with the help of this beautiful mare. But, why is she helping me? I just had to ask her, "Luna?"
Luna: "Hmm"
Midnight: "why are you helping me so much???"
She answered with a, "cause i like you" I went into a deep blush. Once I finished eating, i must've gained like twenty pounds. Well that was considering the fact that i haven't eaten in i don't know how long.
It took me like eight hours to get familiar with the area but hey, what can I say ive never been here before.
I went to the restroom and locked the door... that was a bad idea. The pain came back. This time it wouldnt go away, so i dropped. A minute, that felt like an hour, later, my chest broke.
Something came out, odd thing is that it had a horn and wings as well... Thats all i remember before i blacked out.
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31.media.tumblr.com/62ff8d256e0b84273ec621b07dea4bfa/tumblr_n32wezVes41tw1vhco1_500.gif
Not that unique.
Yes, yes it will. You can't survive chestbursters. You are going to die.
4431075 and be reborn as king of the Gary stus
Dude: your story doesn't look like you put too much effort into it. I haven't even opened it and I'm already seeing misspellings and typos (and a plot that seems rather iffy), so I don't think many people would bother.
I think you best ignore any comments so blatantly made by people who haven't actually read the story.
That being said, this story needs serious work. About the only salvageable thing is the initial concept. I suggest reading through the site's nifty writing guide, the link is in a pop down tab if you hover over the FAQ link.
After that I would take a long trawl through a web site called TV Tropes starting here: So You Want To: Write A Fanfic
As for spelling and grammar, I am atrocious with it myself so I'm not the person to help but I can tell you you need it. Fortunately if you can get a decent chapter or two down plenty of people will be willing to help even if some others are immediately turned off by it.
So best of luck.
the xenomorph facehugger actually doesn't kill its prey, because it needs the prey alive for the egg.
dont worry i didn't dislike it, because i want to see where this is going.
4431718 i know that, i need to fix that on the summary, sorry for the confusion.
4431664 thx for the positive critizism, ill do what you said.
Please edit this so I can understand it a bit better, as I didn't understand, some typing errors I saw to.
4431816 alright, can do
4432368 lmao, hey what can i say, im gifted.
4442133 stfu, i bet.you prolly screwed your first story too.
4442133 "beginning the break apart" im pretty sure its "beginning TO break apart" you dared me and i found one, WWWOOOOOOOOOOOAH WATCHU GON' DO, WATCHU GON' DO, WATCHU GON' DO, nuthin, thats right
4442445 And where exactly did you find that? 'Cause I sure as heck didn't find it.
4442542 the first paragraph of the first division.
4442551 Thanks for catching that. Doesn't change the fact that a monkey can write better than you, but thanks nonetheless.
Yeah i may write like a monkey but, my eyes are as keen as an eagles is when it comes to my mind set on something.
4442634
So I'm guessing your mind wasn't set on this story of yours. The concept is interesting, the execution leaves much to be desired.
4442847 maybe your right, i've gotten started on a new fanfic, this one seems like its gonna turn out better though.
Kill me,