Ch11 - Parents and Cookies
My Little Medic
-
Chapter 11
Parents and Cookies
Twilight was a well read and educated mare that often liked to label many situations with numbers. For example; how many books she read every month, how many hours she spent exercising each day and how long she managed to keep a weight levitated. In today’s case however, she was considering the level of how embarrassed she was. The good old kiss on the cheek in public when she was a normal size filly she would consider as first level of embarrassment while a hug second. Always dreaded farewell words; “take care sweetie, and remember to be nice to your teachers and classmates, mommy loves you.” This she would consider third. Being asked by a griffon’s dignitary during a meeting between the princess and ambassadors from other countries how she uses a bathroom, including problems she had to face because of her reduced size, she considered between level six and eight.
As a grown student of the ruler of Equestria who was shrunk to the size of a large rat and was now working as a medic in such a respected organization as the Wonderbolts, having her most embarrassing moments from her foal-hood shown to her co-workers in a slideshow alongside her parents comments she would easily label as level ten.
Having pictures of her brother and foalsitter with changed gender showed to the elite fliers she was working with alongside information that she was responsible for their transformation no doubt increased it to fourteen. A level where Twilight wanted to sink into the ground or crawl into a mouse hole.
To make matters worse, her overprotective brother entered a rage mode against the Wonderbolts while her mom and dad were going to oversee their work for next three days. If there was a record how embarrassed one can be by her family, she no doubt broke it.
“Umm… Twilight, are you feeling alright?” Steel Blade asked as he looked at the tiny mare hiding in his spread wing, a new hiding spot after Cadence left with Spitfire.
The tiny mare whimpered as she kept hiding her shame between the sea of feathers, her magic at work as she kept the tip of the wing over her as if it was an umbrella. “Kill me,” she said with a muffled voice. “Kill me and save me from this humiliation.”
“Come on Twilight, it cannot be that bad.”
“Milk and cookies for everypony!” shouted Twilight Velvet who was wearing a white apron with red hearts decorating it. A Twilight-shaped hat on her head and trays with cookies levitating by her side. “You have something on your face, stay still,” she said before levitating a tissue to clean the pegasus’s cheek. “Surely a Wonderbolt should be more presentable than that.” She placed her forehoof under pegasus’s chin and raised his head. “Keep your head up and do something with that breath of yours.”
"I stand corrected,” the guard murmured to himself. He moved his wing closer to his face and asked, “So ummm, what now?”
Twilight peeked from behind the feathers, quickly noticing her father waving towards her with a wide smile. Whatever he said afterwards to the Wonderbolts resulted in their heads turning towards her with a surprised or annoyed stares.
The shrunken mare sighed and turned around as she looked into her guard’s giant eyes filled with pity. She wished she could shrink herself to microscopic size. “What now? Now you can either hide me inside your belly, sit on me, or even hide me as an insole in your horseshoe.” She lowered her head and put forelegs on it. “I would prefer it over this humiliation.”
Steel Blade chuckled at his boss’s joke, but stopped moments later and walked away from the crowd. Knowing Twilight, there was a high risk that she wasn't joking, and from now on he would need to be careful whenever sitting or putting armor on his hooves.
***
“So, let me get this straight,” Spitfire started as she looked at the heavily bandaged Captain of the Royal Guards. “You provoked Fleetfoot into a fight by complaining about how irresponsible it was to demand change of leadership in the middle of a mission?”
“That is correct,” Shining Armor said firmly, his tone filled with determination and anger. “I complained about her faults, and she attacked me.”
“Liar,” said pegasus responded, walking between both captains as she looked at her commanding officer. “I admitted my mistake and tried to ignore his complaints, but when he just started to say that his recruits would do a better job as Wonderbolts, I called his guards failures who weren’t even there when we risked our lives.”
Shining Armor stomped against the floor. “Try amassing an entire army and sending them into a city on the edge of Equestria, and lets see if you can do any better.”
“Quality over quantity,” Fleetfoot answered with her muzzle raised. “Anyway, he responded with comments of his own, I did as well, and the moment he said that maybe mares shouldn’t be in the Wonderbolts for our lack of discipline and incompetence, I tackled him to the ground.”
The guard’s captain nodded. “True, I did say it in my anger, and I admit it may have been untrue, but it still does not explain such an overreaction.”
Spitfire raised her eyebrow. “And you punched her back? Didn’t you ever hear the saying; 'Don't punch mares in the face?'”
The captain frowned. “You may not be in the military, but you have connection with it. Mare or not, you are almost like a soldier, and despite my last statement, I don’t give special treatment to mares in the Royal Guard.” Noticing few glares directed at him, he added, “Also, I was defending myself.”
Fleetfoot chuckled. “Defending yourself? It was more of me kicking your flank until my teammates stopped me.”
“I was restraining myself. If I used my magic, you would be trapped inside a barrier,” Shining responded.
“Oh yeah. If I used my wings, I could have wiped the floor with you… wait… barrier?” She looked at Shining’s cutie mark. “You could capture me under a barrier or with levitation, and you used hooves?” She smirked. “Admit it captain, you wanted a good old brawl with me.”
Shining Armor grit his teeth as blush appeared on his cheek. “I… I was not thinking clearly.”
“Have you ever?”
Soarin’ looked between the arguing couple and rolled his eyes.
“Are you done?” Spitfire asked after half a minute of words exchange. Noting a nod, she said, “Ms. Armorina, while I understand your concern regarding our organization flaws that came to light, I would like it if you could put your personal feelings aside and act more professional.” Noticing shock as Shining looked back at her with wide eyes, she added, “Lady Cadence told me and Soarin’ those nicknames, the ones she came up with after yours gender swith. Ms. Armorina and Mr. Cadenzar. Quite fitting if you ask me.” She looked at a laughing Fleetfoot and said firmly, “And you. While I respect you as my wingmate, I am still disappointed in you for trying to take the leadership in the middle of a mission. While it is my fault in some degree, I would prefer if you didn’t insult, nor attack our guest, is that clear?”
With a salute, she responded, “Yes, ma’am.”
With the atmosphere calming, she looked around and asked, “Where are Twilight and her parents by the way?” Both Shining and Fleetfoot looked around, only now noticing that they were alone in the hall. Spitfire sighed. First she learned that Shining’s marefriend and Twilight’s foalsitter was once a Wonderbolt, not to mention an over millennium old alicorn, and now this; this was going to be a long day.
“...And this is the training area,” Rapidfire said said as he gestured his foreleg at the large open area with many obstacle courses, both on the ground and in the air. “This is where we sharpen our skills and… is something wrong?”
Both unicorns looked around curiously as if ignoring what he said. Velvet quickly approached and pointed at a pile of broken planks as she gave the pegasus a questioning look.
“Umm… this was our watchtower. It got wasted during our last exercise.”
“And what’s that thing?”
“That’s umm, the dizzytron, ma’am,” Lighthoof responded. While she and her teammates found the pair somewhat annoying. Two lazy worthless and arrogant unicorn nobles who acted as if they owned the place. None dared to say a word against them however because of their own screw up and fear of repercussion. Besides, they were wrong about Twilight, so maybe her parents wouldn’t be all that bad.
The unicorn approached and touched the surface of the device with a hoof as she examined it carefully. “It is covered in dust.”
Blaze rubbed his neck. “Yeah, about that. During a month long vacation there was no point to keep this place clean,” he said, only to take a step back from intimidating stare of the unicorn.
“Gather around everypony!” Night Light shouted with clap of his forehooves. The Wonderbolts looked at each other before approaching hesitantly. With a firm stomp, he spoke, “This training area is in terrible shape.” He pointed at the dizzytron and next at the remains of a watchtower. “Dust and rubble, everywhere!”
Twilight Velvet nodded and said, “We cannot let our daughter work in such an environment.”
The Wonderbolts looked at each other, few shrugged but one stepped forward.
“And what are you going to do about it, ma’am?” asked Blaze with a smug look on his face. His yellow wings spread and orange tail flapped nervously the moment dizzytron started to shake. “What’ going on?”
Twilight Velvet whose horn was flashing with a large aura smirked. “Big cleaning, that’s what. Army or sport related organization, hygiene is important.” She raised her foreleg in lecturing gesture. “We have been tasked to get the Wonderbolts into shape, so lets start with cleaning up.”
Every Wonderbolt took a step back at the sight the dizzytron being levitated off the ground, a few even rubbed their eyes in disbelief.
“I know you are a very strong unicorn, honey, but I cannot let you do all the work by yourself,” Night Light said with a half bow as his wife’s legs trembled from the heavy pressure she endured. With his attention focused on the clouds, he levitated a few over from the obstacle course and charged his horn with a powerful spell. He closed his eyes as drop of sweat fell down his forehead before unleashing wave of magic, turning all white clouds into raining ones.
The pegasi felt cold chill and trembled a little the moment wave of magic passed them. “B-but,” Blaze started with his mouth agape. “The d-dizzytron weights at least twenty tons, h-how?”
“Cloud manipulating?” Rapidfire added as he couldn’t take his eyes away from the clouds that now rained on the circling dizzytron, wetting it from all sides. The elite fliers stared at the scene for minutes as two unicorns were cleaning the training area, demonstrating unimaginable feats of magic. Transformation spell temporarily turned random objects into towels that were used to clean levitated dizzytron. Leftovers from the watchtower were gathering together thanks to a repair spell.
The earth trembled under everypony’s hooves the moment the dizzytron was placed on the ground. One of the rookies, Flutter Bolt murmured, “Twilight’s parents–”
Wave Chill nodded nervously. “Y-yea. I can see the resem–”
“–are awesome,” Flutter Bolt finished with forehooves held against his cheeks before he flew towards the unicorns.
“Hey, wait!” Wave Chill called, but her wingman was already on his way. She lowered her head and shook it, sighing. “You and your self control.“
Flutter Bolt landed behind busy unicorns and said, “Wow, that was amazing! You just levitated this device like this was no pony’s business.”
“Why thank you,” Velvet responded and turned to the Wonderbolt. “And your name is?”
“Flutter Bolt, ma’am.”
“Nice to meet you Flutter Bolt.”
“Likewise. I am really curious, how do you know such cool spells and how could you levitate such huge weights? Does it run in the family?” he asked while his wings were flapping in excitement. Wave Chill caught up.
The unicorn mare chuckled and said, “Well, aren’t you a curious one? I would gladly tell you, but in exchange, can you share a story of my daughter’s last adventure?”
“...And then the princess arrived and beat the hay out of those three powerful worms, but not before saving Soarin' from inside the monster’s belly.”
“I… see,” Twilight Velvet responded before levitating a teacup up to her face. Just half an hour ago, she and two Wonderbolt rookies went to the canteen for a story exchange. Learning that her daughter increased her size to protect innocents made her proud of her, but finding out that she was nearly squashed by a giant monster and that she had trouble restraining her magic was rather worrisome. “So if I understand correctly, you pet my daughter as if she was a house cat?”
Flutter Bolt smiled awkwardly. “A cute big cat. I couldn’t help myself.”
“And in response, my dear Twilight pushed you away with her magic, which resulted in you ending stuck in… a rather uncomfortable position.”
Wave Chill giggled and said, “That’s one way to describe having his head stuck in a ventilation shaft.”
“Yeah, not my brightest moment,” Flutter Bolt responded before curiosity overpowered embarrassment. “What about you? What’s the secret behind yours and your family’s power?
Noticing that two more Wonderbolts entered the canteen and were invited to join by Flutter Bolt. Velvet started, “It is indeed true that powerful magic runs in our family. It is the result of hard work of many generations.”
“Excuse me,” Wave Chill interrupted in a quiet voice as she kept her foreleg raised.
“Yes?” Seeing hesitation, she added, “Please speak up. There’s no need to be shy.”
Wave Chill tapped her forehooves nervously. “You and your husband are from a noble family, correct?” Receiving a firm nod, she continued. “Many of my teammates find the idea of a hard working noble rather impossible.” Much to her surprise, Velvet just laughed cheerfully. “D-did I say something funny?”
The unicorn shook her foreleg. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I forgot about my status as noble, and your comment that I cannot work hard because I am one was a bit funny.” She looked at confused Wonderbolts with relaxed expression. “Is the reputation of nobility that bad?”
“It is,” Flutter Bolt said as Clashing Strike and Ace Lottery nodded. “We have been invited to countless parties by various houses. All we saw was a huge waste of time and bits. All they cared about was status and appearance, no productivity at all.”
“I see,” Velvet said with worry. “My husband and I never participated in any public events, so we aren’t really updated.”
“Well,” Wave Chill started nervously. “I mean no disrespect, but the majority of nobility in Canterlot are unicorns, and as a result... how should I put it…”
“We are lazy, unproductive and avoid physical labor?” Velvet asked, making the pegasi look at her with widened eyes. “I am not surprised, nor I do mind. Despite the princess’s efforts to keep Equestria united and in harmony, history shows examples of disrespect between different races. Nobility probably doesn’t give unicorns a good image.”
“That’s an understatement, “Flutter Bolt said, slowly recovering from his shock. “Anyway, if you won’t mind me asking, why is your family different?”
Velvet's expression suddenly became serious as she placed both her forehooves on the table. After taking a deep breath, she spoke, “Nobles weren’t always the same. From the notes of my great-great-great… grandfather. While Equestria was enduring hardships, the princess was overtaken by sorrow. She gathered her most trusted and wisest ponies, ponies devoted to help Equestria as she bestowed them with titles, land to oversee and privileges so they could help her rule.”
“Overtaken by sorrow?” Wave Chill said with a hint of worry.
“Were they even helpful?” Flutter Bolt asked.
“The nobility of the past was very dedicated. They worked hard to help Equestria endure starvation and war. They shared their wealth, advised the princess, suggested many laws, organized an army and appointed officers.”
“In other words, they were actually doing their job for a change,” Rapidfire interrupted. He took few steps towards the table and pointed at the unicorn. “What about your family?”
“My house?" Velvet asked with hoof pressed against her chest. “The house of Sparkle was the most dedicated to magical research and warfare. It produced many inventors, arch-mages, battle mages.” After making sure that the pegasi still listened with full attention, she continued, “Outside of developing spells, our ancestors worked hard to master their talents and increase their raw power. Every generation was more powerful than the last and nurtured their talents, ready to use it for the good of Equestria.”
After taking a refreshing sip of a fresh water, a prideful smile appeared on her face. Velvet raised her muzzle proudly and said, “Even today, our son is Captain of the Royal Guards with ability to cast powerful barriers while our daughter is student to the princess herself. Even at her tiny size, our dear Twilight is ready to face any obstacle and push herself to her limits.” She raised her head with pride. “And that’s the story of our family.”
The pegasi looked at Velvet with their mouths agape while their ears were straightened upward, waiting for more words to feed them. Flutter Bolt was the first one to recover as he shook his head and said enthusiastically, “Amazing. A passion passed on by countless generations to be the best you can be. Now that’s something.”
Wave Chill rolled her eyes. “You get excited way to easy.”
“I’m not,” Flutter Bolt responded with a frown. “Anyway. What about other houses of nobility. If they were formed from the best of the best, why they are now a lazy bunch?”
Velvet looked to the side. Her ears dropped as she spoke with depressed tone, “Power and riches corrupt, I suppose. While few houses stayed to their ideals, most didn’t. Every generation cared less about Equestria and more about their own benefits. Politics, popularity, this is all they started to care about.” She sighed. “The part of nobility that care for Equestria prefer to stay out of public eye.” Velvet looked back at the pegasi and placed her right forehoof on her chest. “In my case, I write stories to earn bits for living while my husband works in a delivery company. His strong raw power is very useful in transporting heavy cargo if I may add. Our research in many fields of magic however is a free labour. “
“Free Labour?” asked Ace Lottery.
“It usually involves the princess appointing us to a magic related project, or we do it on our own and share our developments with those who can benefit from it.”
“What kind of research?” Ace Lottery asked with increasing curiosity.
“Hmn…” Velvet rubbed her chin. “One of our last projects involved improving illuminating gems so they could provide light with less magic consumption. We ended up making them last longer instead. There were also magic rune for security purposes.” She smirked. “I can demonstrate this one if you are all interested.” Noticing several energetic nods, Velvet lowered her horn towards an apple pie and charged the spell. Much to everypony’s surprise, a rune formed on it before it became invisible. “I need a volunteer.” The moment Flutter Bolt raised his foreleg, Velvet pointed at the cake and said, “Try to take this pie from the table.”
Without a second thought, the pegasus grabbed the pie, only for his forehooves to freeze in thick ice before it spread to the rest of his body, leaving only head “What the? What’s g-going o-on?” He sneezed.
Wave Chill chuckled. “It is about time for you to, “ she put on the goggles, “Chill out.”
“So if I understand correctly,” Spitfire started as she faced her team that stood in line in front of her. “Twilight’s parents started cleaning the training area. The rookies were impressed by Twilight Velvet’s raw power, invited her to canteen for a chat, and you all have been helping Night Light repair the Watchtower and some of the old equipment?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
The captain looked around before asking, “Is Twilight Sparkle missing?” Noticing a nod, she sighed and placed forehoof on her forehead. She murmured with annoyance, “Twilight’s family is making a mockery of the Wonderbolts, her foalsitter turned to be an alicorn and former Wonderbolt, and now this… Why does everything have to be so complicated?”
“Welcome to my world,” Overwatch whispered, causing the captain to flinch.
“Did nopony in the royal guard teach you to not sneak up on others? How did you managed to do it in the first place?”
“I have my ways,” Overwatch said with her head raised proudly.
Spitfire stomped and shook her head. “I am a Wonderbolt, being aware of my surroundings and multitasking is our speciality. There’s no way anypony could get so close to me without me noticing!”
The female guard smirked and passed the pegasus while her tail patted Spitfire’s head. “Thank you for the compliment, as for Twilight, leave finding her to me.”
Spitfire frowned while her subordinates barely resisted to chuckle. “Soarin'!”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Go to the canteen and bring the rest of the team here. We cannot slack on our training drills in front of Twilight’s family. That little tough unicorn went out of her way to earn our respect, and we should earn it in kind.”
“On it,” the pegasus responded before flying away. Cadence stomped in annoyance the moment the lieutenant passed her. So much for her opportunity to get the two pegasi closer together.
“You know the drill everypony!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
***
“Is something the matter, dear?” You seems upset,” Cadence asked as she and her special somepony admired the training. Much to Shining’s surprise, the Wonderbolts showed high amount of discipline and efforts.
“I’m just confused and unsure what to do. When I came here, I expected a disaster.” He lowered his head. “Don’t tell Twilight, but I hoped I could convince her to return to the castle by showing her the Wonderbolts’ incompetence.”
“Why?”
Shining’s tone became saddened. “In a year, Twilight will participate in Celestia’s plan where she will need to befriend random ponies and unlock the Elements to heal Luna from her corruption.”
Cadence nodded as a sad smile grew across her face. “I know. I don’t like it a single bit, but part of me wants Twilight to succeed. It has been nearly a thousand years… I miss Luna…”
Shining looked at the sky as the Sun was still present on it in all it’s glory. "Personally, I couldn't care less about a corrupted princess, but as Captain of the Royal Guards, I cannot let anything happen to Twilight before she can fulfil her mission.”
“Oh,” Cadence responded as she looked to the side. “Is this the only reason?”
Shining placed his foreleg on Cadence’s shoulder and looked her in the eyes. “As a brother however, I want to protect her. Facing an alicorn is dangerous enough. I want Twilight to enjoy this year without fighting against monsters or jumping into the fire.”
Much to the captain’s surprise, Cadence slapped his foreleg and said in a firm tone. “Have you considered your sister’s happiness at all?”
“What, I-”
“I was taking care of her for years. I learned that outside of pushing herself to her limits, she loves being useful and making others proud of her.” Cadence’s tone softened as she looked deeply into eyes of her very special somepony. “Your sister has saved many lives by risking her own. If it makes her happy, will you keep her from it?”
The captain rubbed back of his neck. “Maybe I’m a bit overprotective and let my personal feelings get the better of me. Tiny or not, my sister need to spread her wings so to speak, and I should separate personal feelings from my work.” He frowned. “But these comments about how useless Royal Guards are… I can barely stand it.”
“Sir!”
Both Shining and Cadence turned towards the source of voice, quickly noticing a few pegasi guards escorting two prisoners. Restraining ring on unicorn’s head and shackles on their legs. The captain smirked and said, “Perfect timing. I hope that the Wonderbolts like a moving target.”
Both prisoners gulped.
“Hey there Steelie,” Overwatch said innocently as she walked around the nervous pegasus in the hallway. She tickled his muzzle with a tail as he resisted the urge to sneeze, breaking out into a sweat. “You don’t know where Twilight is by any chance, do you?”
“O-of course n-not,” the guard responded. “Why should I know where to find her, I am not her foalsitter.”
“Don't give me that Steelie, you are such a terrible liar. When it comes to Twilight, you stick to her like a loyal puppy,” the female guard said as she looked around the hallway, noticing only lights on the ceiling, two pictures on the wall and a large flowerpot with white roses.
“Stop teasing me,” Steel Blade responded while hiding blush behind his foreleg.
“Is she hiding somewhere in this hallway? In your mane or uniform perhaps?” Overwatch smiled devilishly. “Don’t make me inspect you from top to bottom.
The pegasus took a step back. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me!”
Both guards looked each others in the eyes. The unicorn kept on a poker face while the pegasus sweated uncontrollably. After several seconds of staring at each other, Steel Blade sighed and lowered his head while his foreleg pointed at the flowerpot.
“Giving up already? You’re not fun at all,” Overwatch said while her ears dropped in disappointment. She approached the flowerpot that was half the size of a pony, and after closer examination, she noticed a tiny hole in the dirt. With help of her levitation, she removed some of the soil, revealing a tiny black unicorn.
“H-hello,” Twilight said with a wave of her foreleg, lavender pupils clearly visible among the dirt.
Overwatch raised her eyebrow. “Seriously?” She shook her head and straightened her foreleg towards the tiny mare, exposing her hoof for Twilight to jump onto. “Let me quess, game of tag?”
Twilight blushed and rubbed her neck as she was brought up to guard’s face level. “Not really,” she said hesitantly. “I couldn’t take the humiliation, so I decided to hide.”
Overwatch closed her eyes and nearly facehooved, causing Twilight to yelp as she was centimeters away from being slammed against her forehead. Feeling her hoof being held in vice grip by a scared little mare, she placed the unicorn on her own shoulder. “Spitfire wants us in the training area, but first, we need to get you cleaned. Unless you would prefer your parents to do the honor.”
Twilight flinched, nearly losing her balance from her guard’s shoulder.
“Thought so,” the unicorn guard said to herself before shouting to her partner. “Lets go, Steelie. Spitfire is waiting.”
“What in Celestia’s name happened here?” Twilight asked from her guard’s head as she examined the training area. Smoke was emitting from burned grass, craters decorated the surface as if rain of meteors struck it. The smell of burning wood reached her nose. The little mare knew that her size was fooling her, that what was in front of her eyes wasn’t a massive battlefield filled with destruction and flames. That those huge craters are merely holes after magical blasts, but it didn’t prevented her from staring at it in awe, as if she was witnessing an armageddon.
“You’re late,” called a Wonderbolt, his words woke up Twilight from her trance. As the trio looked at the speaker, a hole-filled uniform captured their attention.
In an instant, Twilight teleported onto back of the Wonderbolt and focused on what looked like a broken wing. “What happened to you, Flutter Bolt?” Twilight asked before biting her own lips as she began the healing operation.
“I was shot down,” he responded while scratching his neck. A blush of embarrassment followed.
“By whom?” Steel Blade asked while looking around for the culprit, quickly noticing some figures on top of the watchtower. “Are my eyes fooling me?”
“Nope, what you see is indeed real,” Flutter Bolt said as he pointed his hoof at ponies on watchtower. “Your family really rock, Twilight. They shot down at least half of the team.”
Twilight stopped healing process and jumped onto the pegasus’s head. “Mom, Dad, it cannot be!”
”Help us!” shouted a galloping and paniced earth pony. Bruises and sweat were covering his trembling body while only fear and adrenaline pushed him forward. Twilight examined him from afar, wondering if he was a member of the maintenance staff.
“I have you now!” Spitfire said as she dived towards the earth pony. Two beams of magic were shot towards her as she flew up and down to evade them. Noise of another explosions echoed while the captain tackled the earth pony to the ground. “Score!”
Much to the Wonderbolts' surprise, Twilight appeared on her muzzle and looked into the captain eye. “What are you doing? Why are you hurting him?” She pointed at earth pony captured under Spitfire's hooves and next at the destruction all around her. “And why are my parents turning this training area into a wasteland?”
The pegasus didn’t respond, instead, she flew towards the watchtower, forcing Twilight to hold her muzzle in vice grip. After evading few more shots, she shouted. “Cease fire!” As the projectives no longer headed her direction, she landed on the watchtower and faced four unicorns.
“Hello Twilight,” Velvet said, capturing her daughter’s attention, who in turn stood on her rear hooves while placing her forehooves on her sides.
“Mom, Dad, BBBFF, why are you attacking the Wonderbolts, and why was Spitfire attacking another pony?” She looked at Cadence who apparently also participated in whatever craziness was going on. “Not you too!”
Shining Armor was first to speak. “Calm down Twiny, it is just a wargame to test the Wonderbolts and improve their skills.”
“Wargame?”
Spitfire moved her wing to her face and pointed for the little mare to jump on. The moment Twilight was perched comfortably on her soft feathers, she asked, “Do you remember how Overwatch sniped many Wonderbolts who tried to attack target with enhancement games?”
“Yes.” Twilight nodded, confusion still apparent on her face.
“Well. You brother offered a similar training exercise. The Wonderbolts’ targets were two ponies that caused the invasion of Fillydelphia, while your family and disguised friend were protecting them… sort of,” Spitfire explained as she shot Shining Armor a suspicious stare. For a powerful mage whose specialization were shields, he sure didn’t bother to shield the prisoners from pegasi attacks. If it wasn’t for Cadence's barriers and stunning spells, the Wonderbolts would have won this game minutes ago.
Shining Armor’s eyes opened widely as he looked between Cadence and Spitfire. “She knows?”
“Yes, I told her and Soarin’, Twilight asked me,” Cadence responded with a warm smile.
The little unicorn turned to her brother and looked at him with concern. “So that earth pony… he was responsible for what happened in Fillydelphia?” Noticing a nod, she added. “Still, isn’t physical violence a bit too harsh form of a punishment for them?”
Cadence giggled. “Speaks to the mare who asked me stomp on her with all of my strength just to prove to her parents that the protection spell makes her invincible.”
Twilight frowned. “That’s not the same.”
“I think they deserve it,” said Shining as he lowered his head and looked at her sister with firm stare. “They caused many deaths and several millions of bits worth damage to the city. While their family wasn’t involved and their homes will not be confiscated, half of their fortunes will go to the repairs in Fillydelphia, alongside their lifetime community service.”
“Lifetime?” Twilight asked.
Shining shook his head. “Well... When I said 'their lifetime service', I meant the unicorn. That earth pony was hired to assist with eggs relocation, so he may get away with only ten years for good behaviour."
Twilight’s mouth opened agape. “You want him to serve as moving target for the rest of his life?”
“N-no… this was just activity I decided for them for today’s training. Most of their services will involve repairing damage to the city. The princess allowed me to decide their community services whenever I see fit.”
Spitfire rolled her eyes. “No disrespect to the princess, but as of late, she is giving lots of assignments to those who are personally and emotionally involved. She hasn’t been herself lately,” she said, causing Shining to look at the floor as his ears dropped slightly.
Twilight turned to her pegasus friend and said, “I am sure she has the best interest in mind.” She next looked at her brother. “Back to the topic. Are you telling me that you’re shooting Wonderbolts with your magic during this wargame?”
“To knock them down, yes.”
Twilight looked at Cadence. “And you too? I didn’t expect you to use violence of all ponies.”
The disguised alicorn smiled awkwardly. “I… I don’t like violence, but it was just training… and I wanted to do something with my special somepony.”
The little mare turned to her parents. “Mom, dad, how did you both get involved?”
“Writing stories is good and all, but I missed the thrill when I could really use my magic. You should know it better than anypony,” Velvet said.
“Your boss wanted this to be challenging, so I volunteered.” Night Light grabbed his foreleg around Shining’s neck. “Furthermore. Not everyday I get a chance to do something with my son. Him being busy with the guards and all.”
Twilight turned to Spitfire. “And you’re okay with it?”
Spitfire nodded. “Of course I am. My team is finally getting into shape, also, the rookies made some sort of fanclub for your mother and asked her to participate in trainings. Besides,” she paused and gave Twilight’s parents a relaxed look, “Miss Velvet and Night Light offered to repair our equipment and clean this mess once it’s over.”
Twilight looked between Spitfire and her family. A few more Wonderbolts flew towards the watchtower as well, and she noticed lots of bruises and holes in their uniforms, but most of the pegasi were wearing happy smiles. I guess having my family shoot beams of magic, fireballs, and all kinds of projectiles against the ponies I work for can be considered a bonding exercise… As long as all sides are happy. Twilight chuckled. What happened with all the tension from yesterday and the dislike towards unicorns and nobility that most of the Wonderbolts had?
The little mare raised her head and said with most cheerful smile she could muster, “I am pleasantly surprised that you all became friends with each other so quickly.” She laughed and added in a joking tone, “If this keeps up, you will start to play hoofball against one another.” Much to her surprise, a large smirk appeared on Spitfire’s and Shining’s face. Twilight’s ears curled as she asked, “I was joking, you’re not really considering it?”
“Hoofball match, Wonderbolts vs Guards, tomorrow in a public stadium,” both captains said in unison as Twilight could swear that she saw fire in their eyes.
Cadence laughed and levitated Twilight from Spitfire’s wing onto her head as both captains started to argue whose team will be victorious. “Wait a moment,” Cadence said as she rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “I cannot shake the feeling that I forgot about something… or somepony…”
“H-hello, a-anypony t-there?” Soarin’ shouted as he looked around the empty canteen. Pie between his hooves. “I w-would realy ap-p-ap-appreciate a little h-help over h-here.” He tried to move, but not a single muscle heeded his commands. When he was tasked to get Twilight Velvet and rookies to the training area, he noticed that an apple pie was left on the table. With everypony already on the way, he decided that leaving a pie uneaten would be a waste. He tried to take a bite and little did he know that touching it would freeze him in place. With ice creeping over up to his neck, all he could do was to shiver with his teeth and call for help as delicious apple pie was mere centimeters away from his face, so close, and yet so far out of reach. After minutes of resisting the unpleasant cold, he said to himself, “I… I really need to go to the bathroom.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.031 seconds
Total duration
738 users online
635,285 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Pretty funny chapter once again, even if a little exagerated. However, there seem to be a short part, where you propably were a little unfocused, as it has several mistakes in very little proximity:
For that last bit, it should propably be "the Earth Pony", but since you have not introduced the role of the two prisoners in that scene before, even that would leave open questions.
Also, the marked answer dialogue in the middle does not really refer to anything.
5413468
Here is the fixed version. Thank you for pointing out those mistakes.
I fixed lots of mistakes after reading the uploaded story. Didn't expect that my editor left so many. I hope that the story will be enjoyable for others despite those flaws.
Also, I hope that "a little exagerated" doesn't mean a bad thing. I was building up to this chapter, and it was meant to turn into one large mess with stuff going wrong one after another. I hope that I didn't put to many diferent events so close to each other.
I found some things you may want to edit.
That needs to be capitalized.
Rapidfire's name suddenly gained a space and he temporarily changed sex.
Unnecessary quotation mark.
It's seems like a word or two is missing.
And this last one may be a nit-pick, but I either "the" or "a" should be between those words, otherwise it seems like there's a place called "Public Stadium."
5414089
Fixed, thanks.
Still, I am a bit dissapointed. So far only 2 comments, and both comments pointing out mistakes and typos. I get the feeling that this sidestory is lossing reader's interest, and that not many if any liked this chapter at all.
I get the feeling that it would be best to end this side-story early.
5415532
NO. please dont end it early
5415532 I agree with Silver Wire, please don't end it early. I did like this chapter.
5415799
please, don' stop
this story is too good to let it end too early
[That's the last one I'm pointing out, or I'll never finish this chapter. Go through the chapter and fix your indentions.]
indent
___________
presentable
____________
would
_________
delete
____________
Mrs.
And who in the hay are they supposed to be?
Cadance is Mi Amore Cadanza, and I've never heard of Cadenzar.
______________
This massive paragraph is monsterously bulky and bordering wall of text size. Break it up to make it more readable.
____________
loves
__________
needs end " mark.
____________
rocks
__________
Delete
____________
... There were so many errors here. Next time though mostly look at your paragraph size and indentions. But all in all ... an off feeling chapter, but hopefully it transitions to a more fluid one next chapter.
5413622 By "a little exagerated" I meant, that the way Twilight's parrents continue to embarass Twilight is not exactly what I would expect of a real life situation. However, this is not a bad thing, as it is clearly played for comic relief. Just don't expect anybody to take it too seriously.
5416305
If you read another side-story "My little april foal's day" and if you paid more attention to previous chapter, you should notice that it is mentioned that after Shining and Cadence changed genders, Cadence came up with few nicknames. She told those nicknames to Spitfire.
I added some changes to make it more clear, if you find any mistake in it, tell.
I also fixed those mistakes you pointed out, but I need time to work on that wall of text you pointed out.
I don't really understand what you want me to fix there. You didn't mark anything, and I do not get what you mean by saying
"fix your indentions"
The reason why this chapter seems so odd is because I didn't had any pre-reader, and my editor wasn't really the best if he missed so many mistakes. It was meant to be a funny chapter with lots of situations going wrong, but I didn't had anyone to tell me that I am going overboard.
I cannot continue this story without help of good editor, so unless you can find some time to assist me, I will need to set it on hitus and focus on my other projects.
5416305
Mrs Armorina and Mr. Cadenzar are the gender swapped names.
5416305
You asked me to improve that wall of text and split it into parts, well this is the result. Tell me if there are any mistakes I should fix:
5416921
Didn't read that one side stoy and it has been a long while since this updated that it's normal to forget things. Fix your indentions means go through the chapter, paragraphs that aren't indented, indent them. And there are a lot of those (wich is why I stopped pointing them out since I had to stop every few paragraphs to point them out. As for the wall of text paragraph, much better.
5416944
Do you recall what chapter? Persnally I like the fanon Eros and Aegis / Glimmering Shield myself. Butthat's a matter of personal tastes
5417889
Oh, now I get it, however I cannot follow your advice since it was intentional.
Ask yourself, what all those paragraphs have in common? The answer is simple, they are all short.
I indented all paragraphs that take more than one line. All short paragraps that contain few words I didn't. It is not a mistake, it was intentional. It is just a style my editor showed me before he started to help me with my other story. He never indented short paragraphs, at least that's what I remember.
5418206
Honestly, it's not a great style to have, mostly since it messes with the flow of a story. Since you go from (as in you previous chapters and stories I've read) a consistent indentation. Breaking from that consistency ruins the flow of a fic. I's usually best to pick either non-indented, or indented paragraphs and stick with it, and if you have a story that has a flow to it already stick wth it rather than change it.
I know of a person who does something similar where he indents everything but dialog. Honestly even though the ficsare of decent quality, that stylistic choice makes it harder to read. Mostly since humans are hard-wired for consistency, breaking consisyency breaks the immersion of the story since the mind has to switch gears as it were. But in the end it's your choice weither to keep what you were doing and was working for your fics, or to switch to a new style. Although if this is what you are planning to use, even if personally I don't like how it wrecks the flow. hen you'd need to go back and change the previous chapters to reflect that change. So at the very least readers can get used to the stylistic choice rather than thrust into it.
5418436
What are you talking about?
Previous chapters in this story have the same style. Did you even check it?
What is the diference of style in previous chapters and this one?
5419592
So you did change it. I was remembering when you had everything indented. Still looks horrible. Looked at chapter one and while your choice. It looks sloppy and unprofessional. Ruins the flow of the chapter, and defies appropriate paragraph structure.
http://www2.le.ac.uk/offices/ld/resources/writing/grammar/grammar-guides/paras
In proper paragraph structure. You pick one or the other. But yeah it' a horribly sloppy style, but I honestly don't remember why I liked the series to begin with, I'll need to re-read everything one of these days. But that style you chose to pick up is gramatically wrong, and ruins the flow. But in the end it's your choice.
5419850
So you just do not like the writting style in Little Medic, and prefer it to be like in "tiny student" and "tiny librarian"? Or you just didn't like my series to begin with. Please make up your mind.
If it is such a HUGE issue, I can just make it look normal like in Tiny Student and Little Libriarian, no problem. This new style was brought up by my editor, and I changed it only because he prefered it. I can return it back to normal, but before I do that, I need to be absolutely sure that this style looks bad, or it is just your personal preference and you didn't like my stories to begin with. I cannot make big changes base on bias opinion, so feel free to reread some of other chapters before answering this comment.
5419592
Sorry if my last comment was abbrasive, andI probably shouldn't take out my frustrations of the structural attrocity that's Persona 4 Areana Ultimax on you, just because your new style wrecks the flow of the story. Since you did change it to at least be consistent with the story. I'll either be forced to get used to it, or I'll simply cut the fic from the one's I follow. After all style choice is yours to make. Even if it's grammatically inappropriate and reads like a grammatical error.
But seriously, like the link in the last comment. Either choose one or the other, using both ruins the flow of the story and breaks immersion.
5419870
Yes. More in line with Tiny Libriarian / Tiny Student. Honestly I loved your other stories. I found Tiny Student to be an interesting fic. Seeing the challenges that Twilight had to go through and pushed upon herself, and I admit that I only remember bits and pieces of Librarian. But her talk with NMM when she said she'd join her, but stab her in the back at the first opprotunity. And NMMliked that, since Twi was honest. That was cool. Most of my gaps in memory are from slow update times and stories blending together.
Edit: That and the leaf page divider, looked interesting enough that it was one of the deciding factos onto why my stories (after RTTF) sported stylized page dividers in most of them. (barring the few that I can't find dividers that are thematically appropriate).
5419880
I think I need to explain something to you.
Tiny Student was first story I make, and it has undergone major changes and rewritting. I wasn't good writter since I just started, but with help of my top editor, we managed to get somewhat fresh story and decent quality. Tiny Librarian is a higher quality story, however my top editor have less time to edit it now, so the updates come slower. (I uploaded new chapter yesterday, feel free to comment on it if you want).
Little Medic is a sidestory, it means that my top editor don't work on it, so it is obvious that it is not as good as the others too. Basically I write this side story with help of whoever editor I find at the time to assist me. My last editor prefered a new style you are seeing now, and because he used it in rewritten chapters (he helped to improve them), I had to use his style in all of other chapters to be consisent. Basically, I made changes base on his writting style, and so far no one pointed it out to be bad or incorrect.
Right now the reason why recently uploaded chapter was filled with so many mistakes is because my last editor is assisting me with my other project, and the person I found to help missed a lot of mistakes. Little Medic basically need editing assistance, and unless I get a good editor to help me out, I cannot continue writting it. (If you would like to help out, tell, if not, I will just focus on my other projects, simiple as that).
Anyway, back to the topic. I changed the writting style to fit my editor's work. He is now assisting with another project of mine, and I can keep this style or change it back to normal, I personally don't care. All I need to know if this new style is really a big issue, or just your personal preference. No offense, but I will just write a blog and ask readers what they think. If they confirm what you say, I will change it back. Do this sounds fair to you?
5419894
Sounds good. I mean I could give links to other sites. But it usually ends up being the same as the link I shared. In English either indent or line break. But a blog would give a wider range of oppinions.
As for editing. I'm usuing a Tablet that does a rather bad job on editing work. So until I get a new laptop I'm only really working on a few stories on editing nd only then when Iget PM's on when a new chapters out Since my tablet doesn't do consistent showing of updated stories.
5419917
Well. I have chapters on my goggle doc. so all I need to do is give you link. Everyone with link can edit it.
5420050
I'll be able to get to it sometime next month. But that'll work.
5420050 Soarin' you poor poor soul! Agent K would probably be stuck in the same position...
Well here we are again, up to date on another story. All things considered (You know all your complaints about this not being fully edited) I didn't find much wrong and I still love Twiny. Seriously out of all the A.U.'s the fandom has created, the Twinyverse is one of my favorites.
So since I'm watching this and Tiny Librarian, I'll see you at either of their next chapters.
5452374
Well. I fixed many mistakes according to comments, so it may not seems so bad now.
Also, which you like the msot so far. Tiny Librarian, Student or Medic?
5453565 That makes sense, I love when my readers point out a mistake for me.
Also I don't want to choose. Student was great, but I feel it gets an advantage for being complete. Medic is great, because it addresses the time skip in student and I'm excited for more. Librarian is wonderful because it addresses more of what has caused Luna to fall and it does something that I don't see much in showing that Nightmare Moon is not evil, just angry. So three way tie! Until Tiny Princess comes out. Oh man if Twiny is self-conscious about being OP at full size now, just think about when she becomes a princess.
This chapter... irritates me, for some reason.
Part of it may be how Shining Armor's issue with the Wonderbolts comes off as unjustified. Yeah, he was being an ass and the sexist remark deserved punching, but he had a point--Fleetfoot's power play resulted in more dead ponies. The time spent forcing Spitfire down was not spent saving ponies; Spitfire left and was over with the already rescued civilians until she heard about Fleetfoot's plan, not saving ponies; Fleetfoot's plan had her directing all the worms into a suburban area, screwing over whatever ponies were there and whatever was in the way of the worms as they herded them. Yeah, the Wonderbolts saved a lot of lives, and without them things would have been horrible--but they should have saved more. It isn't a matter of "you should have tried harder"--they should never have broken up like that in the first place. That has nothing to do with being military or militia--it has to do with being a group that is responsible for saving lives. Fleetfoot admitted that she made a mistake, but what she did is a lot worse than just "a mistake". Saying sorry doesn't make up for the dead ponies that lay at her hooves.
I don't believe they answered the snark on their lack of discipline, either. Even setting aside Fleetfoot kicking Spitfire out of captaincy, you brought up only a couple chapters earlier that the Wonderbolts were much less organized than they should have been.
And while Twilight does deserve the right to make her own decisions and is competent enough to survive dangerous situations, she isn't combat-ready--that she completely froze up before the worm that almost ate her is proof enough of that. She didn't fight or run--she froze. If Soarin' hadn't saved her she might very well have died before Celestia could arrive.
WHeeee, I don't actually have to do a recap for this chapter because I just did my react to the last one...
So let's just do it, shall we, Commander?
"Parents and Cookies?' If this is anything like Chapter 9, then this will be good.
Sorry, Twi.
Why do I always feel like the character does when this happens?
Um.. Let me think of something..
Fack. Anyways I hope you get it.
Hey Griffon? Stop asking personal questions please?
So that's like a 12?
Twi: Oh no, she's back! Please, mom, don't do anything embarrassing..!
Twi: *sigh* My hope is ruined now..
These parents, they drive their own daughter into humiliation and possibly a mental breakdown..
Hey, why doesn't Twi do an invisible spell and just hide on a chandelier? It would work, right? Just whisper to someone that she's hiding invisible somewhere and hopefully nobody freaks out.
Ooh god, not the construction crew...nonononono they can't distract my focused reading!!
CRAP! They parked a car outside...
(If you don't know, I don't live in town, im surrounded by fields in Minnesota. For some reason they need to put things in the field, so they park all their vehicles and some equipment outside my house, near the little drive-in for the field that borders my property. They can get somewhat loud but it's usually ok. They stay off the property and they aren't really bothering me too much so it's all fine.)
BUT STILL, READING IS MORE IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!
Shining, you sexist little prick.
I thought it was "Don't hit a girl, ever." not "Don't hit a girl in the face"
You and me both
I have a bad feeling this might not end well..
For the parents of Twilight, they live up to the title.
Aparently it did end well, I think.
Twi could probably lift twenty of those
THIS WILL NOT END WELL.
Two things.
1. Indentation missing
2. Calling their daughter cute right in front of their parents.
I mean, I get that he's young and all and doesn't know much about Cadence's specialty. But still.
This must be around the time Luna was banished
Shut up, he has reason.
Mm, so does fame.
*cough* sWooZie takes 5 years to make a simple animation and stopped working on it even though he said he would get it done like 3 years ago, but he got too freaking famous and has other people animating things for him. *cough*
Hold up, I want to ask a question. Does anyone else like reading with the dark theme?
Or is it just me? I use it because it's less stress on the eyes after long hours of fun reading, also because I like black. And I wear black and buy black things way too much. I'm not goth.
Oh.. Kinda like that dust in Pendragon's Denduron territory, but without the magic part.
Huh wha? Oh, wrong fandom. (Read Pendragon, it's good, start with Merchant of Death. It's either the one with the ring on the cover or the little boy and a door behind him. Written by D.J. Machale)
...
Does she always start out like this?
That's one way to put your status out there.
Um, remove that quotation mark after the dear? and take off the last s on seems
I MUST have missed something.
Are you trying to make him seem like a jerk? It's working
Um, didn't that blob of purple magic aura that turned Twi into an alicorn come from Twi?
She had the alicorn in her, in her the whole time..
Meta as hell
Um...
Does she have any privacy for others?
I'm sorry, I had to.. LOL
If this was a picture, many people would HNNNG
Something bad happened, didn't it?
c11.imgup.net/jackie-cha18c3.jpg
So ranged ponies are kings of the hill against only flying ponies. Fairness, everyone.
Hey wasn't that the title of a really old movie where computers were freaking hard to get, and this one kid decided to play 'Wargames' and picked to be the Russians and decided to make a move to bomb the US, but it's actually reality and DEFCON comes up and everyone is freaking out?
Holy crap, I think I got that one spot on, for a 1983 movie.
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/210/403/OhCrap.png
(Oh im getting hungry, luckily I have my goldfish, WOOT WOOT!!!!)
Why not ask Luna to do that one? She crushed stone!
Oh, and can we agree that that transformation was a little dark?
Hey, this 'thrill' can be woven into the stories to create a more realistic experience, well if she does that kind of books..
HOOFBALL IS CANON NOW, HELL YES
Um, I have no idea by now...
Velvet, you did this.
HOLY CRAP, TWO REACTS IN ONE DAY.
This is a good day.
As I say this, I can't help but feel that Luna has a lot of competition.
How many ponies have cracked stone in this story? A lot.
And I thought Twilight's parents bugged me in the last chapter. That? That...that was nothing compared to this. Like seriously, can they get any more unbearable? If they manage that, I think I may just flip out.
YYYYYYEEEEEEAAA-*shot*
6005850 Hoofball is not cannon go and watch: The Cutie Map: Part 1
The rules and what it is is cannon
[quote“My house? Velvet asked with hoof pressed against her chest. ]" after 'house?'
_______________
out
____________
afar
_______
Yea >> Yeah
________
This is a good fic.
poor poor Soarin I feel so sorry for him, everyone forgot him......
An all-important point of meaningless trivia: Shining Armor wasn't married, so his female counterpart might be Ms. Armorina.
Not Mrs.
Well that is not wrong sadly
comma, not period.
same issue
from
a teacup
Let's go, Steelie
to the Wonderbolts' (apostrophe AFTER the s, missing a "the" again)
THE watchtower
caused the invasion of
As long as
Well, that pie trap had a completely expected result. :D
oh boy make sure aeon of dreams doesnt see that, he might think your sugesting something....
also while im sure that others have pointed this out i feel the need to myself anyway
the commonly accepted fannon name for shinings rule 63 is gleaming shield
if princess cadence has one i dont know it.
i hate twiny's family slightly less after this... >.>
I think that joke needs to be * equips epic shades * put on ice
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
10153241
PPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!