Ch14 - Party Time
My Little Medic
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Chapter 14
Party Time
“Are you sure this is going to work?” Overwatch asked as she sat in darkened room.
“Just trust the professional,” Cadence responded as her ears perked upward. “I hear their hoofsteps, they’re coming.”
The double door opened and loud murmurs echoed through the room as several ponies entered, clearly confused.
Cadence lit her horn and activated the lights as the disco ball descended from the ceiling and filled the room with multicolored lights.
“Lets get this party started,” Vinyl said as she fixed her glasses and activated her equipment, quickly filling the room with loud music.
Shining Armor and Spitfire looked around in confusion, noticing several tables made from the most elegant wood covered by trays filled with snacks and drinks. There was one with a large cake in the middle of the room and a big banner with ‘CONGRATULATIONS’ written on it.
Everypony stared at the scenery speechlessly, their mouths opened agape while a few rubbed their eyes.
Shining slowly closed his mouth and walked towards his special somepony, who just sat with forearm supported against a table. “Cadence… when you said that you wanted to show us something, I didn’t expect… this.”
Overwatch raised her eyebrow. “Seriously. You told them that you wanted to show them something? That’s it?”
Cadence nodded. “Sometime most simple solutions are the best, my young Overwatch. Besides, it worked, right?”
“It did.”
Spike with Twilight now sleeping on his head entered the room before running towards Cadence and Overwatch. He pointed his claw at the female guard and said, “So that’s what you meant when you said, 'a tasty surprise'.”
Overwatch nodded as she levitated over few chocolate cookies and took a one quick bite. “Indeed,” she said before showing her tongue to her alicorn companion. “I will eat those whether you like it or not.”
Cadence rolled her eyes before giving her special somepony an unexpected kiss in the neck, which caused a blush to appear on his cheeks. With her head now close to Shining’s ear, she whispered, “That’s for not doing anything stupid. Have fun.” She bypassed the captain while rubbing his cheek with her wing.
“Where are you going?” Shining asked while still trying to recover from yet another unexpected surprise.
“To greet other guests, of course. We can dance afterwards.”
Shining nodded as he said to himself, “Good think thing we took a bath, or else this party would stink… literally.” He picked Twilight from Spike’s head as the little mare was slowly waking up. Now looking back at him from between his hooves. “Hey Twiny, are you hungry?”
Twilight heard rumbling coming from her stomach, a result of her long wrestling match against Spike’s hand. She responded loudly, “Starving!”
“Thought so,” Shining said as he approached the closes table and levitated over a cookie before cutting it in half with his magic. He raised his forehoof and placed Twilight on top of his head next to his horn before levitating half a cookie into her embrace. The little mare grabbed it and bit off a piece of the cookie with a satisfied ‘mmm.’
Cadence smiled upon the scene before her attention focused on her prey. With a firm steps, she approached Spitfire and said with half bow, “Welcome to the after-match party. Please enjoy yourself.”
Spitfire looked around as she examined the room, and next looked back at the disguised alicorn. “Hmm… not bad.”
Noticing that Soarin’ hesitantly entered the room, the alicorn lit her horn and levitated him over as the pegasus yelped, and gently placed next to Spitfire. “How about you both enjoy yourself and relax after the excitement of today’s game,” Cadence suggested as she grabbed the Wonderbolts’ Captain by her shoulder. She gestured over the room with her left forehoof and said, “Your subordinates are already taking over the floor. You should take your lieutenant and show them real moves.”
Spitfire’s head and legs moved slightly to the rhythm of the music as she admired the atmosphere. A darkened room big enough to let a group of pegasi fly above the floor as few already danced in mid air. Filled with changing multicolored lights and hardcore music. “I suppose we could…” She looked at her lieutenant, who turned his head right away, not daring to look his captain in the eyes. “What do you say, Soarin’? Wanna give it a try?”
“I… would rather not.”
Cadence’s ears curled for a moment as she carefully lowered Spitfire to the floor. Once on her hooves, she approached the lieutenant and placed her right forehoof on his shoulder. “If you don’t want to dance. You both can always talk with each other. There are plenty of tables filled with all kinds of delicious snacks.” She pointed towards the closest table and added, “There is an apple cider season going on in a nearby town, so I ordered some for this party alongside a dozen apple pies.”
Soarin’s ears perked upward at the word of his desire, but then dropped at the unpleasant memory surfaced before in his mind. He looked at Cadence with puppy eyes and asked, “If I touch those pies, will I be frozen again?”
Cadence blinked a few times in confusion and looked at Spitfire for support who in turn said with a raised forehoof, “Twilight’s mother cast some sort of spell on the apple pie in the canteen and Soarin’ couldn’t resist trying to grab it. After we found him and freed from the ice, he nearly broke my speed record as he flew to the bathroom while shouting, ‘freedom’. He hasn’t eaten any ever since.”
As a former Wonderbolt who once worked with Soarin’s great great great… grandparents. Cadence felt sudden surge of pity and compassion towards the poor lieutenant. She hugged him gently while patting his back and whispered with motherly tone, “Sss… it is alright… There’s nothing to be afraid of. I will talk with Twilight Velvet, and no apple pie will freeze you ever again.”
Soarin’ blushed slightly as he found himself out of words. He looked at Spitfire who chuckled before shrugging. Unsure what to do while feeling the pleasant warmth of Cadence’s fur, he closed his eyes and waited patiently to be freed from her embrace.
After several seconds, Cadence released him and asked, “Better?” Noticing a hesitant nod and a weak smile, she pointed towards the table once again. “In this case, bon appetit.”
Soarin’ once again looked at the awaiting apple pie next to cup filled with apple cider and licked his lips. “Thanks,” he said before approaching the table with determined steps. Spitfire followed.
“So. How’s your plan coming together?” Overwatch asked as she sat next to Cadence who flinched from surprise.
After taking a calming breath, the disguised alicorn shook her head and spoke, “Not as good as I hoped for. Soarin’ is on some sort of guilt trip. He most likely thinks that he failed his team as a goalkeeper.”
Overwatch looked at the earth pony guards, proud strong stallions, who, despite lacking the agility of the Wonderbolts, managed to score most of the goals while knocking Soarin' out cold. “I don’t blame him. I don’t know from where your special somepony got those stallions, but they would no doubt wrestle a chimera into submission, much less overpower a pegasus. Spitfire’s speed and her flaming technique being the only exception.”
“Flaming technique?” Cadence asked.
“Just a name I came up on the spot for it,” Overwatch said as she looked at Spitfire with mix of respect and curiosity. “I would bet that this mare keeps her best tricks for herself. Ready to use them only in times of emergency.”
She shifted her attention to the guards, who seemed to get along with the Wonderbolts just fine while not bothering to keep their stoic appearances. She murmured to herself while rubbing her chin, “However it seems that Spitfire is not the only one with secret tricks. I worked as personal guard of the princess for many years, and I never once heard about some sort of elite guard’s squad. Maybe I should take a closer look into it?”
Cadence poked Overwatch into the shoulder, and the moment she looked back at her, the alicorn shook her head. “Some secrets are best left alone.”
With a suspicious stare, the guard responded, “You know something about those ponies, am I right?”
Cadence closed her eyes and asked calmly, “Maybe yes, maybe no. Does it really matter?” Her expression stoic.
Overwatch examined Cadence’s face for a moment as the alicorn just looked back with neutrality. With a growing smile, the guard said, “You sure are harder to read than Steelie, I give you that.” She turned her head to Steel Blade who sat in the corner with cup of apple cider and hay sandwich in his hooves. “He didn’t last more than twelve seconds before telling me that Twilight was hiding inside a flower pot.”
“So she went there after all.” Cadence chuckled. “She was always good in finding creative hidding spots.”
“Enough of this chat,” Overwatch said as she pointed at the table where two Wonderbolts were eating various snacks. “Spitfire seems to have trouble starting a conversation, and Soarin’ keeps getting depressed everytime she looks at him. How are we going to break the awkwardness between those two?”
Cadence took a quick sip of apple cider before placing it on the table and said with determination, “Leave this to me.” She wiped her face before walking forward with firm steps.
Overwatch sat and levitated over few hoof-shaped candies while wondering if she should oversee Cadence’s actions, or ask Steel Blade for a dance. Suddenly, she noticed Spike from the corner of her eye. With a smirk, she approached the young drake who was taking a sip of punch. “Hey Spike," she called.
“Oh, hey Overwatch. You want some too?” he asked before moving the cup up to Overwatch’s face. “This party has everything except for gems.”
“Maybe later,” she responded before lighting her horn. The saddlebag on her left opened up as a rolled banner levitated out of it. “I need to ask you a favour.”
Spike placed the cup next to the bowl of punch and asked, “What’s that?”
“Just something I need burned. If you do it for me, I will get you a ruby.”
“A ruby, really?” noticing a nod and a honest smile, he said, “Sure thing, just gi-burp…” A trial of green flames escaped his mouth and overtook the banner, causing it to vanish without a trace of ash. He smiled awkwardly and looked up at facehooving Overwatch. “Oops… b-but I will still get the ruby… right?”
Princess Celestia looked up with a warm smile as a trial of green flames appeared above her head. Her horn lit as she waited to grab a letter from her little student. Her wings opened slightly and muscles tensed from weak rush of adrenaline while her eyes focused on incoming letter that will fill her heart with joy.
Ever since she sent Twilight to work for the Wonderbolts, the letters she received proved to be the best medicine for her returning loneliness.
The newly gained smile vanished as the princess blinked in confusion, now looking at a rolled piece of material. She unrolled it slowly with her magic and examined it while her guards looked at it suspiciously, but not dared to say a word.
“Congratulations… Spitfire and the Wonderbolts…” she said while reading the large letters. Her wings closed and ears dropped as the dull feeling returned with full force. “They are having a party... “ She lowered her head. “I wish they would invite me…”
Suddenly another trial of green flame appeared above Celestia’s head, this one larger than the last. The guards observed the phenomena with alert as it slowly turned into a bowl of punch. The princess raised her head, only for it to land unceremoniously on her head.
“Are you alright, Princess?” the guard asked before placing the bowl next to the small throne while starting apologetically at his slightly wet ruler.
Celestia licked her face before while noticing a small crack on the bowl. “I am quite alright. Just another innocent assassination. Nothing to worry about,” she said with joking tone as a memory of fireworks rain flashed in her mind. Upon noticing hundreds of eyes now staring at her, she waved her forehoof while saying with enhanced voice. “The punch was good, nothing to worry about.”
“I… I need some fresh air…” Soarin’ said as he walked away, leaving Spitfire alone with half eaten pie and half empty cup of cider.
Spitfire supported her head against her foreleg and rubbed the table with a hoof.
“Is something wrong?” Spitfire’s ears perked upward as she looked to the source of voice. “You seem bored.”
“Oh, hey Cadence, or should I call you Sergeant Brave Heart?” Spitfire asked as the alicorn in disguise took Soarin’s spot.
“Cadence is good,” she responded as she placed both her forelegs on the table together. “Now, if you don’t mind me asking. Why are you sad? Shouldn’t you have fun. It is a party after all.”
“Normally I would. But it is hard to have fun alongside my lieutenant when he is like this…”
Cadence looked at the leaving pegasus who slowly closed the door behind him. “Is he always like that?”
Spitfire reasserted herself and shook her head. “Normally he is more relaxed, and sometimes even gets very excited over food or a Daring Doo book, but whenever he thinks that he screwed up, he gets depressed and all.”
Cadence nodded. “I understand.” She pointed at Spitfire and asked, “And what about you? Are you angry at him for his failures, or at least disappointed?”
The captain shrugged. “Not really. Everypony makes mistakes, and I don’t blame him any more than the others. I know he is clumsy sometime, and has a hard time keeping up with the rest of the team. But he makes it up with his knowledge and determination.” Spitfire smiled warmly and added, “To be honest, I am proud of him.”
“Proud?”
“Yes. I know it may sound odd considering how much I always expect from my team. It is my job as their captain to push them after all. However Soarin’ despite his flaws, always does his best for the team.” Spitfire lowered her head slightly as her ears curled. “As athletes, we often forget about the team and think about victory, medals and fame. Soarin’ on the other hoof always thinks about others first. It is something I really admire…”
Cadence stood and walked closer to Spitfire as she looked her in the eyes. “Did you ever tell him how proud you are?” Noticing as the captain shook her head and didn’t say anything, Cadence continued, “I can see that you like him, but were you even honest with him about your feelings?” With a relaxed smile, she finished, “Be honest like a mare to mare. Did you ever tried to ask him for a date?”
“A date? Me and Soarin’?” Spitfire asked with growing confusion.
“Yes, what’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong?” Spitfire responded as she raised her forehoof defensively. “Do not get me wrong, I like him, and I am happy to have him as second in command, but I can’t further our relationship.”
The alicorn blinked in confusion as she asked with curious tone, “And why not?”
Spitfire rubbed back of her neck. “First off, Soarin’ is a bit… shy. I’m not sure how he would react if I ever asked him out.” She lowered her head slightly and sighed as she spoke with more depressed tone, “And the bigger issue is that he is my subordinate.”
The captain raised her head to see if Cadence was still listening. With gesture of her hoof, she pointed at her team and continued, “What would my teammates think of me? What if they would say that I play favourites, call it fraternization between the ranks?”
Cadence bit her lips before looking to the side. “I see… the burden of being his captain weighs on your relationship.”
“Yeah... “ Spitfire started before finishing her cup of cider as she shakily placed it back on the table. “I barely managed to promote Soarin’ as a lieutenant because my team respected and trusted me. But if we started to go out to cinema or to restaurants…”
“They may accuse him for getting special treatment because of his relationship with you,” Cadence finished. “But you can’t know that.”
Spitfire looked to the side as she said in more quiet voice, “The last time I lost their respect, Fleetfoot demanded a change of leadership in the middle of a mission. I don’t want to take the risk.”
Cadence opened her mouth, but before a word escaped it, she noticed opening double door from the corner of her eye. “I think it will be best if I leave you alone for a while… I’m sorry if I poked at a difficult topic.”
“It is alright,” the captain responded with more warm tone. “It feels good to get it off my chest, and you are a good listener, Cadence.”
The disguised alicorn nodded. “Glad I could help,” she said before walking away on an intercepting course with the lieutenant.
***
“Excuse me- sorry- passing through,” Soarin’ said as he maneuvered between the dancing pairs, even noticing Overwatch and Steel Blade among the group.
“Welcome back,” Cadence said as her hoof grabbed his foreleg and pulled him out from the crowd.
“Thanks,” he responded before stretching his wings and legs. “I swear, this party got even more lively than before.”
Cadence ignored his comment as she approached the closest table and gestured for Soarin’ to join. “Would you mind a little talk with me?”
Soarin’ looked at Spitfire who seemed busy watching acrobatics of Lighthoof and Rapidfire. Not feeling ready to face Spitfire with another dose of awkwardness, he nodded and sat on the opposite side of the table. “S-sure.”
“Are you still feeling guilty over the whole goalkeeper thing?” she asked with concern.
Soarin’s ears dropped as he looked down at the table. “Y-yeah… I screwed up a big time.”
Cadence shook her forehoof. “Don’t blame yourself. Not many can withstand strength of earth ponies.”
“How do you know?” Soarin’ asked.
Cadence gently placed her forehoof on pegasus’s one. “Spitfire doesn’t blame you, nor your other team members. You are the only one who can’t forgive yourself.” After hearing a whimper, she asked, “Do you like Spitfire?”
“S-sort of…” he responded nervously.
“And you know that she likes you?”
Soarin’ raised his head and retreated his forehoof. “Maybe… I suppose she likes me a bit.”
Cadence sighed before looked Soarin’ deeply in the eyes. “Don’t you both share any touching memories ever since you started to work under Spitfire’s wing? Any hardships and obstacles you’ve overcame together? She promoted you to lieutenant because she trusted you after all.”
“She says that she did it because I’m smart, loyal and helpful… but I feel that I don’t deserve this rank. There are so many Wonderbolts who deserve this promotion more than me,” Soarin' responded as he stared back at the very pony to whom he owed his great great great... grandparents' lives.
Cadence sighed. This is harder than I thought. Spitfire is afraid of being accused of playing favourites, and Soarin’ has self-esteem issues. I didn’t want to resort to this just yet, but it seems I have no other choice.
“I believe that we’ve kept Spitfire waiting long enough,” the alicorn said as she lead the way to table with the bored captain.
“Sup,” Spitfire said as disguised alicorn sat on her left while her lieutenant in front of her.
“I’m sure you both have much to talk about,” Cadence said as her horn lit in blue aura. She looked at Soarin’ on her right side with the most motherly smile she could muster and said, “Please, don’t be hard on yourself. You should have fun with everypony else, not dwell in self pity.”
She looked at Spitfire on her left and added, “Maybe a small memory trip will let you relax a bit? I am sure you both had many exciting adventures together.”
Soarin’ opened his mouth, struggling to give a response, but after one look at Spitfire, he looked to the side. Unnoticed by him or the captain, a pink heart flashed between both Wonderbolts, barely visible among the multicolored light from the disco-ball.
Cadene stood and walked away, leaving both pegasi to themselves. Spitfire closed her eyes as several memories of the past flashed in her mind. With a weak smile, she said, “Do you remember those times when you looked at me with those puppy eyes after apologizing for slowing your wingmate down?”
Soarin’ chuckled slightly and curled both forelegs under his neck. “Well… I was slowing him down. Even he agreed.”
The Wonderbolts’ captain took a small bit of apple pie before looking Soarin’ in the eyes. “True, but show me a second pegasus, much less a Wonderbolt who would admit his faults. Whenever something went wrong, you were always ready to take the blame. I always found your innocent personality to be very cute.”
Soarin blushed while hiding his head behind his wings.
“And do you remember that day I had to carry you on our way back after field training? All because you passed out,” Spitfire asked.
“Don’t remind me. I caused you a lot of trouble that day. All because of my poor stamina.”
Spitfire sealed his mouth with a hoof and said, “And you felt so guilty about it, that you started to open doors for me, protected me from rain with your own wing and tutored me about pegasus’ anatomy. You know your flaws, admit them, and try to better yourself.” The captain sighed as she added with pitiful tone, “I only wish that your fear of disappointing us wouldn’t weigh you down.”
She embraced her wing against Soarin’s back and pulled him slightly before delivering a quick kiss on the cheek, which caused his wings to spread. “I always wanted to do this.” With a warm smile, Spitfire nuzzled the pegasus as she added, “You always think about your team first. I’m proud I can call you my lieutenant.”
“R-really… You're proud… of me?” Soarin’ responded, not bothering to resist.
“Of course I am proud, stupid. You're the best lieutenant and wingpony I could ever hope for,” Spitfire said as she blushed. She released Soarin’ and looked to the side while rubbing her forehooves together.
Soarin’ gulped as his cheek’s became more red with each passing second. “B-b-but… there are so many better, faster and more dependable stallions than me.”
“B-but... I d-don’t deserve…” Soarin responded with panicked expression while looking around for distraction he could use.
Spitfire silenced the pegasus with a hoof, “I will be the judge of that.”
Soarin’ mumbled something before Spitfire added, “And you that you really stop blaming yourself so much. Whenever you are pointing out how weak you are, I don’t know if I should either hug or slap you.”
The lieutenant took a few slow calming breaths while placing forehoof on his own chest. “That’s… a lot to take for a one day… but why are you telling me this now?”
Spitfire placed her forehoof on Soarin’ and said, “I’ve always wanted to tell you that… but I…” She looked to the side. “I was afraid of how you may take it…”
Soarin’ grabbed his captain’s forehoof between his own and looked her in the eyes. “You really mean every word you said?” Upon noticing a weak nod, he added, “I… I don’t know what to say.”
As the silence maintained for next several seconds as both pegasi started at each other, speechless, Overwatch walked by and said, “Oh, just kiss already,” before disappearing into the crowd while pulling Steel Blade’s foreleg with her magic.
As both pegasi blushed and Soarin’ released Spitfire’s forehoof. She spoke, “I know we are good friends, teammates and all, but I always hoped that one day, we could be more.”
Soarin’ looked at cheering Wonderbolts who enjoyed themselves alongside the guards while eating and drinking alike. “Won’t it cause you trouble.”
“It probably will… that’s why I’m afraid to make the first step,” Spitfire responded before grabbing Soarin’s foreleg. “But there’s nothing wrong with a dance during a party.”
“I suppose not.”
***
After a short dance, Overwatch excused herself and left Steel Blade next to the dining table with big cake in the middle as she approached the alicorn. She noticed that Spitfire asked Soarin’s for a slow aerial ballet as they both flew in mid air, dancing on their rear hooves as if on invisible floor. With her attention once again focused on Cadence, Overwatch poked her a few times.
“What is it?” Cadence asked while looking to the side.
“You said you don’t use magic to force love upon others.”
Cadence chuckled before answering with cheerful tone, “Overwatch, I thought you had more faith in me than that. You should know best that I would never force love upon anypony.”
The guard pointed her hoof at the dancing couple and said, “Then how'd you accomplished that?”
Cadence raised her forehoof in a lecturing gesture. “If you weren’t busy goofing off around the park while I was giving Twilight a lecture about love magic, you would know that I just bring back memories of all the good times they had with each other. I’m merely reminding those two why they love one another so much in the first place.”
Overwatch looked between the disguised alicorn and next at the dancing pair that slowly descended to the closest table with few cups of apple cider. The loud music still assaulting her ears. Overwatch raised her eyebrow and asked, “If you cast a spell on them, how can you be so sure that your magic is not affecting their decisions?”
Cadence chuckled. “I’m sure of it because of what they are doing.” She looked at Overwatch, whose face just begged for explanation. The alicorn raised her foreleg in lecturing gesture and said, “If there was no love, or any positive feeling to each other between those two… if at least one of them wasn’t feeling love to the other one, my spell would have little to no effect.”
Overwatch rubbed her chin. “So if I understand correctly. You just reminded them why they like each others so much, and they did the rest?”
“Exactly,” the disguised alicorn responded before lowering her head in guilt. “I hoped I could wait with using my magic, but all our previous attempts resulted in failure. Hopefully now when they take the first step, we can help them deepen their relationship.”
Overwatch nodded before levitating over a cup of apple cider as she took another a sip. “I suppose this is a start. By the way, where did you get this cider? It’s taste is… unusual…”
“From a farm in Ponyville. I made an order, and a very nice young filly and quite energetic old mare provided me with it.”
“So you just showed up in nearby town, gave a large order of their precious supplies, and they provided you so quickly without any issues,” Overwatch asked with crossed forearms.
“Well…” Cadence started. “At first, the filly said that they never have enough for the common folks, but when I was about to leave, the old lady provided me with their reserves from the basement. I even tried to pay more for the trouble, but the she was very stubborn in her refusal.”
***
As Spitfire descended alongside her lieutenant, landing next to the table. She grabbed two cups with her wings. “I feel a bit thirsty, what about you, Soarin’?”
“Didn’t you drink like… seven cups already?” Lieutenant examined the substance inside the cup before his pupils shrunk. He pointed at it and said, “But… this is a hard cider. It is alcoholic. I… I never drank hard cider before.”
Spitfire raised her eyebrow. “Really? Never?” Noticing a nod, she smiled and picked second cup with her wing before placing it between Soarin’s hooves. “There is always the first time.” She drank her own cup, nearly finishing half of the liquid in it before burping. “Now your turn Soarin’.”
“I’m… not sure it is a good idea,” he said hesitantly.
Spitfire rolled her eyes and said, “Just drink it already. What is the worst that could happen?”
***
“And now, something calmer for our cutie couple,” Vinyl said as she changed the music while a spotlight turned thanks to her magic, now focusing on two dancing Wonderbolts’ officers.
The pair ignored the sudden attention they were getting from other Wonderbolts and guards, who moment later returned to their own fun.
Cadence massaged her own forehead while her surroundings started spinning. She levitated over a nearly finished cup of cider and sniffed it. The aura of her magic released the cup as it slammed against the floor.
“This… is bad.” She looked around at the dancing pairs while few pegasi were slammed against a wall. “This is very bad.”
Suddenly, Shining Armor grabbed Cadence by her shoulder and said, “You still owe me a dance, remember?” He spinned the disguised alicorn who fell over onto her own back.
Cadence noticed Spike from the corner of her eye who ran to the exit with sleeping Twilight in his hands, while several of empty cups that once were filled with hard cider were now lying on the floor. She looked up at the towering and slightly drunk Captain with rose in his mouth and said, “What I have done!?”
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You know, I hate coming back to this story without ever saying anything good, but...
Why is Twilight tiny? How does that serve to further the plot? Literally everything in this story could have been done with a normal-sized Twilight. I do not for the life of me get why she's small. What is the reasoning behind this choice?
I understand it's in the universe of another story, but there is no need for it to be. All of this could have happened without her being 1/100 scale. It makes no sense.
5473877
Try reading Celestia's Tiny Student. This is only a side story to that. It's a bit old and could use a few touch-ups, but it'll give you the main premise.
Also, I think it's because he had already established a lot of things about this Twilight in the other story that he likes to draw on.
This is a huge improvement over the original version of the party. That being said, there are some things you may want to edit.
I think that period should be a comma.
[quote“I see… the burden of being his captain weights on your relationship.”] I may be wrong on this, but I'm pretty sure that should be "weighs".
First, you're missing a "great" that had mentioned earlier. Second, that should be "lives". And third, you're missing a period.
Again, I think that should be "weigh".
That should be "trouble?".
That period should be a comma.
And you should delete that quotation mark.
5473877
What 5473907 said. This takes place durring the Wonderbolt chapters (near the end) of Celestia's Tiny Student. A lot of the things here won't make sense if you haven't read that fic.
Meh I liked the original scene better but let the babies have their bottle and keep this scene.
:-Soarin’ responded as he stared back at the very pony who he own his great great… grandparents' life-:
I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be :- Soarin' responded as he stared back at the very pony to whom he owed his great great... grandparents' lives -:
Have should be has I think.
5473877
Sigh...
Just go and read Celestia's TIny Student
Especially chapter 20 - Camping Trip, and you will understand.
(Basically, Twilight thanks to her size is capaible to perform dificult and dangerous magical surgery, which is very useful for a medic. She can fix deep injuries and broken wings with great precysion.)
Twilight worked very hard to get her surges under control, and as result of her training, she is to powerful for her own good. In the chapter where she assist in Fillydelphia, she increase her size to a cat, and she ended up throwing one of the Wonderbolts into a wall (or was it ventilation) and levitating a colt against a stone (hurting him). If Twilight was at her full size, she wouldn't be able to perform dificult magical surgeries on pegasi wings and wounds, and her magic would be very dangerous to her suroundings.
I hope it clear things up a bit.
5473907
Pretty much.
5473973
I will get right to it.
I uploaded the story late at night, so I couldn't give it a final check for mistakes, thanks for finding many of them for me.
There are many question marks in the story. Which one you have in mind?
5474280
Yup, thanks.
5474261
And why you prefered the original.
5475249 Because candence always seemed to me as someone who does something on an impulse and with the best of intentions. This one seems cunning which messes with what I know of canon candence and she also feels too sly which gives me more of a celestia vibe then a candence one. This one just feels like in all the years of her life she grew up faster then her body which also feels wrong to me.
5475274
Umm... she is over thousands years old.
She is carrying and have best intention in mind, but she is also quite experienced as she was living and working among common ponies for centuries.
You could say she have a little bit of Celestia's cunning, but don't like to resort to it unless necessery.
5475345 You could also say that having the body she does she may be a teenager that while her body ages mentally she never has It really does seem to me that cadence is someone who never really grew up as she grew older and as such still acts like a teenager when it comes to allot of things such as her powers and their consequences.
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Keep in mind that this is not canon Cadence, but AU Cadence. She was kicked form her Empire by Sombra, lost it, was facing many challenges and trials over centuries. She is anything but a teenager.
5475373 I know but even in Tiny student she just seems more like a teenager then an adult which has painted a picture of her for this universe in my mind as being an adult who instead of collapsing into suicidal tendencies because of mental stress regressed to a mentality which never changes to survive in this case a teenager or a young adult someone who knows there is an issue but can't bring themselves to fix it.
5475373 I also feel like I should add in no way is this story bad in fact even with the change I still like it it's just I feel like the change was in itself unnecessary.
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True, but in this story, it is one of rare occasion she can use her special talent.
She was asked by Overwatch to help her get two ponies who love each others together.
It has been very very long time since she had a chance to use her special talent like that. Being in her own element increase her self-confidence, at least temporarly.
Think it like this. Whenever canon Twilight think about tests, she freaks out. Whenever Twilight see books, she nearly faint from excitement. When she is taking charge of a situation, she become a brave and smart leader while in normal situations, she wouldn't like to boss her friends around.
In case of Cadnece in this story, she found warmth and safety ever since she started to foal-sit Twilight (after she got use to Twiny's dangerous adventures). She even scored a stalion who she deeply love.
True, but now Cadence gained many friends she can trust, she found a stalion she loves, and she was asked to assist in something that her special talent is all about. Think of it as a large dose of self confidence. Cadence feel like a fish in the water, and it helps her contain all fears and stress she endured over the centureis (if only temporarly).
5475425 Meh like I said it just seems like the changing of chapters was unnecessary because certain things already matched her previous characterization and it seems like people who skimmed the last story didn't like how cadence was portrayed in this one. Which in it self doesn't bother me but it just kind of throws off the balance of the story for me by seeming to give someone who has some long standing mental scarring some sudden fixing which doesn't make sense but hey it's your story and it's up to you how you wan't to steer it.
5475249 The one at the end of the sentence I quoted.
I do like the fact that someone states that there are real and important reasons for Soarin and Spitfire to Not be in a romantic relationship ...
now if those circumstances change ... that is a different story ...
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How far are you in main story.
Did you started reading little librarian, or are you still in tiny student?
5476226
Well. Coments and criticism gave me ideas how to improve the scene and the legic reasons why Soarin' and Spitfire don't date yet.
5477034
Base on comments, I improved the party scene and made it it's own chapter.
Will his belief that he was just promoted because Spitfire likes him get addressed anytime soon? Other than awkwardly separating from one another in the belief that they screwed up because they were drunk, that's the biggest thing that I think could poke a hole in their relationship.
Why does Overwatch get away with everything? Her teasing sometimes goes too far, she can be a jerk, constantly mocks Steel Blade (even if she's just teasing or joking with it and doesn't mean anything by it, almost every interaction between the two features her bossing him around, giving some sort of put down on him, or some other form of proving her superiority to him. There's barely any positive interaction between the two at all. I think the closest to a good thing that she's said about him is that he'd determinedly and naively try hard and fail. Sure, they have a cute dynamic and I hope they get together, but if they do so with the current dynamic there will be none of the give-and-take that composes a relationship, just Overwatch taking and Steelie being pushed around. Any attempt he's ever made to stand up to her in anything has just made her stomp him down), publicly humiliates others, and sometimes her constant screwing around with other ponies crosses the line into cruelty. But she never even gets told off or even called out on it, despite having a lot of jackass moments.
I've been wondering for a while; do you dislike Shining Armor? Every scene he's appeared in, he's either been an asshole, done something stupid, or is subject to some sort of abuse by other ponies. (although I have admittedly read only to chapter 20 of Celestia's Tiny Student). Whenever something good about him comes up, it's almost always met with something to reduce the positive impact.
When he first showed up in the story he was a jerk to Blueblood and tried to completely override Twilight's attempts to show him he was wrong. In the snowball fight, he abandoned everything to go after Blueblood. When he showed up at his house, we learned that he lost some of the respect in the guard and he made the losing decision regarding whether to tell their parents about his and Cadance's relationship. He got rather viciously pranked--a prank that then went on to embarrass him further later on. His appearance following the Fillydelphia incident has largely featured him being a complete ass to everypony. He then tries to prove the guard's worth to the Wonderbolts by pulling out, not his best, but the previous captain's best--and get's Spitfire's respect by the low move. Yeah, he had a point that he couldn't just grab random guards--but the actual main body of the guard that he's responsible for training is so incompetent he didn't use a one of them.
Celestia may not have been fit, but she still had military experience--how could she not tell that her Royal Guard was that pathetic? Even if it is only a special group of the guard who were supposed to help her fight Nightmare Moon, why did she completely toss the main body of the guards to the wayside? Even if they don't have the great magic items the elite group will get to survive an alicorn, they still have practice and are still what Celestia uses to defend Equestria. What of her training--has Celestia really returned to anywhere near her former power if she's fighting against such failures of guards? Does Shining Armor have no qualities as guard captain other than being good at making shields? Does he not train them, even if only half as much as he trains his own magic? Or even tell his subordinates to train them? How does he have such strong shield magic when the ponies he'd spar against suck so much?
And, setting aside that you're now showing the Royal Guard as a heap of failure instead of the fairly competent portrayal from the original story. How are the Wonderbolts so great in combat? In their two action appearance that weren't racing, they were captured by a half-mad dragon and were knocked unconscious by a falling unicorn, so it isn't taken from canon. Considering that they only do occasional battle training, they shouldn't be nearly as combat-ready as the Royal Guard. Even the elites--who do have the constant battle training, on the ground, against a team forced to rely on newbies, playing defensively with a captain specializing in defense, weren't able to stop them.
And finally, I would like to apologize. I realize that my post sounds somewhat hostile, but I'm afraid I have difficulties making a post or story have the intended tone. I'm not intending to snap at you or be insulting (well, maybe a little rude. The guard/Shining Armor thing was upsetting). I have greatly enjoyed both this story and CTS and have no idea why I put off reading them for so long.
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5514393
The issue with the guards was that they are at their best only when they are close or already finish their training. At this point, they are in their best shape, but after that, their condition and skills go downhill, especially in Canterlot.
The situation is actually much better on the borders of Equestria or small towns that are located in more dangerous areas. This is where the guards often had to fight off against monsters, protect cyvilians and had were forced to be diligent. But the closer to the capital, the less skilled guards are as they don't have time to sharpen their skills.
Shning Armor had those choises to prepare for a match that was just few days away:
1) Pick up some random guards and watch as they get crushed while he himself have to do all the work for the team. Sure, he would gain Wonderbolt's respect for pulling his weight, but his royal guards would become embarassement of Canterlot and maybe even lose their autority.
2) He could pick up fresh recruits that had both skills and will to kick flanks, however they would still not be a match against fliers that spend their entire life training and sharping their skills, not to mention that those are recruits who didn't finish their training, not actual guards.
3) He could call few very skilled veterans from the border, but, well, their job is important. The few days they would be away, a monster or some sort of disaster would take place and ponies would pay their lives for it. Shining needed to drag guards who were nearby.
4) He could gather Equestira elites trained by Brave Blade who were still sharpening their skills. The match would be both a warm up for them before their confrontation with Nightamre Moon and test for their skills (their job is to capture Nightmare Moon, surely facing the fastest pegasi in Equestira would help them learn how to deal with quick target).
I know that option 2 seems more appealing, but in this case, Shinnig's pride got in the way, that's why Cadence talk with him about it in the first place.
Now, I understand your points, maybe I made Shining a bit to much of a punching bag than I intended. It's not that I dislike him or anything (even though the way he yell at Twilight during royal wedding, turn everypony against her and don't appologise after the whole mess is over outside of asking Twilight do she can be his best mare again, which she deserved to be in the first place). I just wanted to add a flaw to his character that he is overprotective over his sister. A justifed flaw since his sis is very little and vunerable.
When he first meet with Blueblood, with his experiences with him, he right away assumed that he would do Twilight no good.
When he learned that Twilight nearly died during her field mission as a medic, his logical side is being swept away and is replaced with rage, After a while, he admit his mistakes and feel sorry for them.
In the april foals day, I admit that I came up with gender swap idea, but it was Rated Ponystar story, so not all himiliating moments he endure come from me.
Parrents embarassing Shining, yea, I may have gone overboard with it for the sake of comedy, but Twilight's pride was hit just as hard.
I don't hate Shining Armor, I just went a bit overboard with his flaws of being overprotective brother.
Right now he feel sorry for what he did, and if you have any ideas how I can show his good side (what he can do, say or anything that pops into your head, I am open for suggestions).
I just base it on the canon Celestia. In the show, the guards are being knocked down in 3 seconds by Nightmare Moon and they didn't alerted Canterlot for reinforcements to fight the threat head on and find the princess.
In Discord returning, we didn't see Shining Armor and the guards assisting in anyway (they could have distract Discord or search for Elements so that main 6 would use them), instead, we just see main 6 taking beating form Discord as no pony is helping them out until Celesita sends letters.
Why the guards weren't dispatched to deal the dragon in dragonshy episode, instead of sending in 6 mares from Ponyville who didn't had any experience in dealing wtih dragons. They nearly got crushed under falling boulders and eaten by a dragon if not for Fluttershy.
In Challenging invasion, guards were overpowered off screen while main 6 beat at least 100 of them before going donw. In Crystal Empire none of the guards were send to assist Shining Armor. When Celestia and Luna dissapeared, Twilight ordered the guards to search for them, did we saw a single guard in Everfree Forest? No. Did we saw them in Ponyville? No. None of them found any traces leading to Everfree, none of them protected Ponyville, none of them escorted the only princess they have left.
In Tirek episode I quesion why Celestia even kept guards in Canterlot if all they would do is give Tirek more strength.
All I tried to do is point out why they are incompetent in the first place.
Wonderbolts also don't fare much better. They tried to stop a giant Spike and get beaten very quickly. Rarity knocked 3 of them out, Soarin in Rainbow Falls is out of the game for a while because his wing hit something and the Wonderbolts right away try to replace her (Rainbow Dash injuried her wing against sharp object in Wonderbolts Academy and flew regardles of her injury. She smashed into a tree and rocks and got back up quickly).
Long story short. Celesita in the show never bothered to get her guards in shape and placed all burden on protecting Equestria on main 6. I just decided that she wouldn't bother to point out flaws of her guards in my story. After all, there was no war for a long time and she saw no reason to do any changes. She also until now believed that she could beat up any foe who would raise against her by planning or with her raw power. It took a duel against her tiny student to make her understand how inexperienced in combat she really was.
I think that Luna would be the one who would want to make changes in the guards rather than Celestia (especially if she is now to busy in her preparation for her sister's return),
Celestia started to train against few selected recruits that swore to keep a secret. In order to keep the battle as secret while doing as little damage as possible, she shrink herself, giving her guards an advantage. He probably started to train against her elites after she got back in shape, but if she started to duel against elites while being tiny, she wouldn't last more than several seconds. Her reflex and skills is what held her back, not her raw power.
So yea, she slowly increase her dificulty as she gets better, so she is making lots of progress.
As for Shining Armor, it wasn't long since he became captain, and he train many new recruits or officers. The issue is that there's no training program for royal guards after they get promoted to a royal guard rank. If they are assigned in more dangerous area like secure premiter near the badlands, patrol borders of Everfree Forest or keep at bay some monsters and rogue griffons from more exposed cities, they will have plenty opportunities to stay in shape. If they end up in a peaceful town where all they need to do is patrol streets or stand like statues, than they will get out of shape quickly.
It's not really Shining's fault as it is the law involving an army. Equestira is peaceful nation, and they don't have need for a powerful army.
Shining comes from a very powerful and talented family that nurture their talents for generations. Shining worked very hard both in training area and on his own to master his talents. He could as well gather hundred well trained recruits and order them to try to break his barrier for example.
Hoofball match doesn't rely as much on combat as it rely on speed and agility, and it is a field that Wondebrolts are experts in. Sure, the guards gained the uppear hoof on the ground, but were complitly overpowered form the air.
The match was specifically designed to play on both teams weaknesses and strengths. If it was just aerial match, the Wonderbolts would outmanuver pegasi guards and score goal after goal. If it was a ground match, strength of earth ponies and levitation spell of unicorns alongside Shining's barriers for defense would make it very dificult for the Wonderbolts to win. They would score few goals, sure, but the opposition would score way more.
As for Wonderbolts portrails in the show, well, it is my story, and I portray them as I see fit. I just replaced the incompetence from the show with inner team issues that weigh the team down. Besides, Wonderbolts weren't training for direct combat, but for hit-run-rescue tactic, and they were equipted with weapon strong enough to take down far bigger invaders. Should they try to fight the worms with their hooves or spears, they would accomplish nearly nothing.
I will try to adress some pointed issues, but I make no promisses.
If you wish to help. Feel free to give me some ideas what Shining Armor can do or say to make him more positive character. All I wanted was to show his weakness of a overprotective brother and probably went a bit overboard.
5515170 Thank you for the polite and well-reasoned response. I've rediscovered that it is probably a good idea not to post comments at 2 in the morning. I didn't think I was quite that rude.
I find your position more than acceptable now, and I apologize if I missed something that should have been obvious.
I can think of four ways to improve Shining Armor's image:
1.) Give him a badass fight scene. This is the most obvious answer, but it's also sort of blunt. It may also be incompatible to the direction you're taking My Little Medic, particularly seeing as how his stay is supposed to be just a few days long. This may also be indirectly accomplished by placing him in charge of strategy for [insert X operation or battle] and doing a masterful job at it.
2.) Have him make a deep, moving, possibly surprising romantic gesture for Cadance. It serves to counter his... rudeness, and helps reestablish his empathy for others. It would also show that there's some level of equity in his relationship with the immortal princess.
3.) Put him on the more-correct side of a (preferably plot-significant) argument (I won't say "right", because sometimes there's just "better" or "worse" or "better in a different way"), with well-reasoned points. This could work as a reminder that he can still make good judgments and serve as a counterpoint to his foalishness regarding the Wonderbolts.
4.) Get him to give Twilight some more focused training. Overprotective as he is, he still realizes (even if with help) that his sister is going to run off into dangerous situations when he's not there, and he can't always be with her. And there is a point where the best way to protect the ones you care about is to ensure that they can protect themselves. Even Twilight could pick up some tips from Shining Armor when it comes to protective magic (this also serves to show off his own talents). It would show his feelings for his sister without making his protectiveness an attempt to confine and limit Twilight, and if he actually pushes her--he should have a fair eye for judging one's limits, particularly Twilight's--then it demonstrates a degree of trust in her. And then they, I don't know, go get ice cream or something after training sessions as an unnecessary apology for blasting her with fire and lightning and whatnot.
This is my preferred choice, but as you're the one who knows where the story is headed I can't suggest it over the others.
I'm afraid I've only just begun chapter 21 of Celestia's Tiny Student, so one or more of these might not be possible to apply in My Little Medic without violating continuity. In that case, they may hopefully be usable in Ponyville's Tiny Librarian. Hopefully at least one of these will be usable somewhere.
Thank you for the opportunity to help with the story. I'm honored.
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Those are quite good advices. I am afraid I won't be able to make Shining Armor the focus of the story, but I think I can use some of those advices in chapter I am currently writting without violating the continuity. Sadly, Shining's apperance won't be long and outstanding, but should be enough to show up his good side.
Advice 2 and 3 will easy fit the chapter I am working on, advice 1... I am not sure it will be possible to pull of. As for advice number 4, there is a chance it may be used.
Thanks for your advices and criticizm.
Wow im finally doing this 2 days later..
Let's get this started
This next scene has a very contagious case of... Cute-ingitis.. This disease loves to spread with small, little fillies who are freaking cute as heck.
Soarin' loves pie
I wonder if he would take a liking to Pinkie because of her last name, and her profession...
Velvet: LET IT GOOOOOOO!!!
SOmeone just needs to animate this whole story.
Or atleast make it a comic
Oh noes..
How dare you Cadence..
Tia: Now how did that 'Instant Drying' spell go..?
Oh noes.. Again..
Leave it to Cadence to bring up relationships.
She's the Princess of Loves so.. Makes sense
Cadence: Then you're perfect for each other!
(Insert 'Oh stop it you..' rage face here)
KISS KISS KISS
That would totally be me
Hm, so that's how that morning scene happened.
Soarin': Um, us waking up in the same bed tomorrow morning with a note from Cadence and Overwatch saying "HELL YES, WE GOT YOU TWO TOGETHER!! ... Now when's the wedding?"
You made everyone book a hotel room, and nobody in that hotel will be sleeping tonight..
That's what you did.
Mk next chapter wheeeee!
So Celestia took a good punch to her head?
move down a line.
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yea >> yeah
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trays filled with snacks
There was one with a large cake in the middle of the room?
in a nearby