2: Rock Bottom
There was no magic where Trixie was.
There was no joy. There was no fun, no laughter, no adoration of pony audiences. There was no audience.
There were only rocks.
Could rocks be made into an audience? Trixie mused. Probably not a satisfied one, considering what she had been told to do with them. And she had no choice but to do it, because her previous profession was, to put it in the most technical of terms, kaput.
And they say Princess Celestia is never wrong, Trixie thought to herself as she brought the hammer down on yet another stone. Honestly, these stupid things take far too long to break! There has to be a better way...
It'd been a while since she'd used her magic. Nopony wanted her to. Once ponies had found out that her grand tales of defeating Ursas and Cerberi and all other manner of creatures were false, nopony wanted to hear anything else she had to say. Much less see anything she had to offer.
Her wagon defaced, her name besmirched, her livelihood dissolved. She pressed on -- but it was the same story wherever she went.
And all because of one purple unicorn who I now know went the complete opposite direction I did! "Great things," indeed. "Great things" like heading up a failed traveling magic show? Trixie sighed. Any unicorn can use magic! What in Equestria was I thinking?
She had to stop. Getting depressed was not going to help matters. What would help matters, even if only a little bit, was solving the problem in front of her.
And while nopony may have wanted her to use her powers, nopony was here right now to judge, either. Maybe, just maybe...
She closed her eyes and concentrated, reaching for instincts nearly lost over months of discouragement. Her horn pulsed, then glowed. Old, familiar, wonderful feelings washed over her.
Power and joy intertwined, and coursed through her body. The smallest of smiles crept across her lips. Her horn glowed brighter, its blue light now opaque.
How she had so desperately missed this.
She rode the emotional wave, opened her eyes, and cast the spell.
Her magic enveloped the rock in front of her, weaving all around it until she felt... yes. Yes! Weakness! She turned it over, and struck her hammer in a single exact spot.
It was only the smallest of taps, but the rock crumbled almost to gravel.
Yes! The breaking point! That's it! Trixie, they may take away your fame, but they can never take away your skill! Nopony can!
Cackling like a mad mare, she went about making short work of her rock assignment.
Days later, she refined the spell, allowing her to break rocks clean in half. She made a game out of it. First she made halves, then quarters, then eighths. She made sculptures. She made forts. Others she just broke so no one would suspect she was making the best of things.
In time, there were still mostly rocks, but there was a little bit of joy to go with them.
Then one day, she broke a rock in half, and everything changed.
A fossil? No...
Trixie gave a puzzled look to the odd horned, winged insignia that was imprinted in the rock she'd just split.
Why does this look so familiar?
She scanned the rock with her magic. Its aura was a faint, but deep crimson.
---
"Lulamoon's Castle"
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Chapter 2: "Rock Bottom"
Bookish Delight, 2014. MLP:FiM belongs to Hasbro.
---
Trixie was cold. Cold and warm. At the same time. Also, sleepy. Lots of things, actually. Still, she opened her eyes.
"What... hummuh... huh?"
Her consciousness returned, her vision cleared, and she soon found the sources of her sensations. She was atop sheets -- very comfortable sheets -- in a large and airy room. All around her were crystal walls giving off a soft shine.
"Trixie?" she hear a familiar voice ask her. "Are you all right?"
"Tw-... Twilight?" Trixie asked weakly.
"Oh, thank goodness. We found you outside, fainted. We weren't sure what happened."
Fainted? Had the sight of the castle shocked Trixie that much? She chastised herself. No matter how understandable, jealousy was a sign of weakness. Around Twilight Sparkle especially, any weakness would be her undoing!
"Here, drink some water. If you want, you can stay here until you recover."
Of course, once in a blue moon, weakness carried benefits. Comfortable, spacious benefits, with your rivals taking care of your every need. The natural order of things. Trixie revoked her self-chastisement, and instead congratulated herself on a plan well-executed.
Twilight levitated a cup towards Trixie, who opened her mouth and sipped. The cool liquid refreshed, bringing her back to full alertness.
"Th-... thank you," Trixie said.
She sat up in the bed. The fluffy, cloud-soft pillow her head had been resting on was replaced with nothingness, and she felt a pang of momentary regret. She looked around.
"Where am I?" she asked, looking at Twilight. Twilight's face was flushed, and her smile meek. Trixie was used to neither of these things.
"Well..." Twilight took a deep breath. "You're in my house. My new house, I mean."
Trixie stared.
"This castle is yours?" Trixie raised a hoof, waving it around. "What, so is this your bedroom?"
"Actually, this a guest room. My bedroom's about a hundred feet in that direction." Twilight pointed out the door and added in a much quieter voice, "It's much bigger than this, too."
Trixie continued to stare. "I... Trixie has only been gone the better part of a year, Sparkle. What did you do, win the Canterlottery?"
Twilight's blush went deeper. "Um... sort of?"
"Wait." Trixie looked closer, noticing Twilight's sides. "You're a unicorn, are you not? Why do you have wings? Only alicorn princesses have-"
Trixie froze. She felt herself going faint again. She overcame it and scooted backwards on the bed, pointing at Twilight with a shaking hoof.
"Y-y-you're a p-p-p-p-p-p-"
She lowered her head in her best impression of a bow. Rival or not, it made little sense to trifle with those in positions of power. Which included herself, of course. Just... perhaps not so much right now.
Twilight cocked her head. "Uh, Trixie, what are you doing?"
"Sweet Celestia, the rumors were true," Trixie said in a rushed voice. "I tried not to listen, I tried to ignore, I even threw the so-called 'coronation invitation' away thinking it was a joke, but..." she trailed off.
"Trixie?" Twilight inched closer. "Seriously, are you okay? Why are you... wait a minute." She did a double take. "Are you bowing?"
"P-perhaps," Trixie muttered, keeping her gaze averted from Twilight's view.
"Well, don't!" Twilight put herself right in front of Trixie. "I don't want you to!"
"Why not?" Trixie snapped. "Ponies bow to their princesses! Regardless of our relationship, it's just what's done-"
"Not here, it's not!" Twilight shook her head. "Look, I have to deal with political meetings in Canterlot from time to time, and when dignitaries bow to me, it always weirds me out."
Trixie cocked her head. "Always?"
"Always. I let it go because it's my job, but that's it. I never asked for this, it just happened. And it took me this long for me to be okay with it. But there are ponies who, no matter what, I will never accept bowing from."
Twilight brought Trixie's face to meet hers with one hoof.
"You're one of them."
With their faces aligned, Trixie looked back up into Twilight's eyes. They were... interesting, right now.
She'd seen those eyes angry. She'd seen them scared. She'd seen them indignant, and Luna help her, she'd even seen them defeated.
But never had she seen them so determined.
Curiosity overwhelmed Trixie in short order. Her mind spun with ways to find out more, until she made her decision. "Twilight?"
"Yes, Trixie?"
Trixie got out of bed. Twilight followed, and once Trixie was sure she had Twilight's full attention, she put on one of her trademark confident smiles.
"Can Trixie get a tour of this place?"
Twilight did a double-take. "W-what?"
"You heard Trixie. You don't want her to bow, then she won't -- but in exchange, The Great And Powerful Trixie wishes to know exactly what her greatest rival currently has to work with." She craned her head and looked around the room. "Especially given its impressiveness."
Twilight hesitated, then gave a sheepish chuckle.
"I don't see why not. So long as you don't mind getting lost. I've kind of been doing that all day."
---
The next hour consisted entirely of Trixie getting far more than she bargained for in terms of knowledge.
Also, stairs. So many stairs, going every which way. Up and down floors, and from wing to wing.
Most of the stair-climbing led her and Twilight to empty rooms and towers, though they'd also passed by Spike's new bedroom. For some reason Twilight made a huge deal about giving her little dragon whelp "his own bed, finally. And with soundproofing! I'll face down deadly dictators any day for that! Twice if we could do it for the rest of the castle."
Still, it was almost too much to absorb. Being led around a royal castle by Princess Twilight Sparkle, the girl she'd once dueled to a standstill. She imagined attempting to do so again. The resulting mental image made Trixie mildly dizzy.
"And you say this all started with a spell that switched ponies' very cutie marks and purposes? Bad enough we just got done with a villain able to eat those." Trixie shuddered again.
Twilight shuddered as well. "The less we talk about Tirek, the better. But yes. It was an ancient spell left over from Starswirl the Bearded's research. I chanted it, and it went awry, switching my friends' special talents, and the lives they led with them! I was just barely able to reverse its effects."
"Trixie had heard tales that Ponyville had come across more than one great calamity after she left, but..." Trixie shook her head. "The more I learn about Starswirl, the more dangerous I believe he was. Perhaps not malevolent, but certainly too smart for his own good. Did you know he was also the father of dimensional space magic? He made all sorts of trouble with that as well."
Twilight looked at Trixie, visibly impressed. Trixie would have gloated if that fact hadn't come to her unbidden. Maybe her studies hadn't completely escaped her after all.
"I did," Twilight said, "but not many other ponies do." Twilight smiled at her. "Sometimes I forget you're a fellow high-level mage."
"Oh, not that high." Trixie blushed. No, stop it. Rivals. Keep the word in your head, she told herself. Rivals. "Just high enough that ponies notice."
"Oh, here's the kitchen," Twilight said, stopping in front of one of the cellar chambers. "At least, I think it is."
Trixie looked around. There were all sorts of pots and pans and utensils, neatly lined on wall and ceiling racks, not to mention top-of-the-line ranges. "Like the rest of this place, rather large. Also, elaborate. Have the servants gotten used to it yet?"
Twilight blinked. "Servants?"
Trixie walked around the kitchen. "You know. Castle? Servants? These things, they go hoof in hoof. Your mentor's castle is probably crawling with them."
"Don't have any. Don't want any."
Trixie stopped short.
"Hold on, let Trixie get this straight. You're a princess who doesn't want to be bowed to, and who doesn't want servants?"
"Huh." Twilight blinked. "I guess so."
Trixie gestured around the kitchen. "Well then, what do you plan to do about things like this? Kitchens require cooks, Sparkle! To make you meals fit for a princess!"
Twilight shrugged. "I guess this is where I learn how to cook, and make myself meals fit for me. Oddly enough, Spike knows more about cooking than I do. I guess he'll be teaching me for once." Twilight put a hoof to her chin in thought. "Pinkie and Applejack could help too. Oh, and washing dishes together could be fun!" She giggled.
"I..." Her mind reeling, Trixie simply shook her head, exhaled and left the room.
Walking to another one, she peeked in through its slightly ajar door, then smiled. "Ahh, now here's something more like Trixie would expect from you." She chuckled. "Books galore -- oooh, and of course, mostly on magic! Just how much of your castle is made up of these?"
"I used to have more. Either way, they're all down here now. I decided to make the library a basement wing this time."
Trixie blinked. "Any particular reason why?"
"Protection, mainly."
"Protection?"
"Well, when I fought Tirek..." Twilight shuffled from side to side. "Let's just say, my entire house used to be a library. As in, what this place used to be."
Trixie took in the new information, and noted Twilight's crestfallen look. She quickly connected the dots, and gasped.
"This place... Twilight, your home... oh, Twilight-"
Trixie threw open the door and ran into the library, and saw her fears realized. Several books on the shelves were charred and burnt. Some pages were torn, some eaten away entirely.
Twilight stepped into the library, standing beside Trixie. "I guess you could say it's a fixer-upper," she said, with a rueful grin.
"You don't have to make light of it." Trixie turned to Twilight, put her hooves on her shoulders, and nodded with empathy. "The loss of one's home, one's livelihood, one's source of knowledge... it's never easy. I'm so sorry, Twilight," Trixie said, and she meant it. "I... I speak as someone who's been there."
Twilight gave a solemn nod back. "I know. Thank you, Trixie."
"You say this was Tirek's doing as well?" Trixie asked.
Twilight nodded again, more slowly.
"One minute it was there. The next it was a fragment. It... was hard to take at first. The day after the battle I walked around Ponyville for hours, looking for lost pages. I didn't want to admit it to myself. Some of those books, I'd had since birth -- to say nothing of pictures from my walls, spare parts, decorations and heirlooms..."
She gave a sniff despite herself, and Trixie firmed her grip in response.
"But knowledge can be relearned," Twilight went on. "Books can be rewritten. Memories never fade. And homes can be rebuilt..."
The two looked at what was left of Golden Oaks's inventory together. The massive shelves dwarfed the small collection. It was technically still a library by all rights, but a broken one.
"...right?" Twilight's voice came in a soft waver.
A silent moment passed, with Trixie deep in thought, until struck by inspiration.
"You know, you could rebuild. Don't you have princess magic? I'm sure there's a spell we could find that could bring your old home back. Or restore those books you lost, or-"
Twilight shook her head. "Even for alicorn-level magic, I'm afraid some things are impossible. But that's okay. One of my good friends, Applejack, taught me a lesson that stuck with me. If everything in our lives could be restored with a twitch of a horn? We would lose sight of what those things meant to us in the first place."
"So what you're saying is, even if you could bring everything back..."
Twilight gave the smallest of smiles, contrasting the sadness still in her eyes.
"...I wouldn't. I'm going to build the shelves again, book by book. I already picked up a few history texts from the Crystal Empire last week. And things will only grow from there."
Trixie's mind reeled again. She closed her slackened jaw, shaking her head to regain her composure. "You're an odd one, 'Princess Twilight'. Very, very odd."
Twilight giggled. "Thanks, Trixie. You know, I'm actually glad we had this tour. I've got so much more of this castle mapped out now. But there's one more place I was saving for last."
"There's still more? Are you sure there's no dimensional magic holding this place together?"
Twilight giggled. "None that I know about. And it's just one more room. You'll love this one, though. I promise."
The two went back up, climbing twisting staircases to the ground level of the castle, and stopped in front of a huge, golden door.
"I'll let you open it," Twilight said.
Trixie tugged at it with her magic. Then she strained. The door rewarded her struggles with all of a three-inch opening. "Starswirl's beard," she said, catching her breath. "This thing weighs a ton!"
Twilight laughed. "Doesn't it, though? I hate opening it too." She added her magic to Trixie's, and the door gave way.
When Trixie walked inside, she made sure to keep her jaw shut this time, if only as a change of pace. However, she still allowed herself a single shocked gasp as she saw what lay inside.
She walked around large ivory-colored crystal chairs, all placed around an equally large table. She recognized the cutie marks imprinted on them -- Twilight's friends. Of course. Her assistant world saviors.
"This... this is incredible," Trixie whispered.
"That's what I said," Twilight replied. "Almost too much. I haven't gone in here too many times. Out of all the big rooms in this place... well, this feels the biggest."
Nodding, Trixie touched the table... and images flashed in her mind.
Unicorns shaking hooves. Squabbles for the fate of the world. Battlefields and peace summits. This very room would be the site of great things. It would be where so many of Equestria's future historical events would begin... and end.
She jerked away from it with an involuntary cry. Too big, as Twilight had said. Too much. So much. She felt herself falling, then caught, in Twilight's forelegs.
"Whoa, Trixie, be careful!"
"Right, right, sorry," said Trixie, getting back on her hooves. "But this place... oh my gosh, the magic in here is off the charts! Do you know what this is?"
Twilight nodded. "Yup! This is where I and my friends will have meetings to help better serve Equestria. Behold the..." Twilight stopped. "Huh. Actually I haven't thought of a good name for it yet. I mean, what do you call something that's just a big round table?"
Trixie's shocked gape was back -- only this time, directed at Twilight. "You're kidding, right? You don't know what this is for? Why it would be entrusted to you..." She gestured to the logos on the chairs. "...and you friends?"
"I do," said Twilight with a casual air that made Trixie cringe. "As Princess of Friendship, my job is to spread its magic throughout Equestria. It's a job I gladly accept, but that doesn't mean I fully know how this room figures into that yet. I mean, I'm sure we'll have some meetings in here, but I can't see the future-"
"Stop."
"Huh?"
"Seriously, Sparkle," Trixie said between labored breaths. "Stop. Just stop."
"Stop what?" Twilight asked.
"Stop what?" Trixie could feel her temperature rising. She wished to the heavens that she could control it. "Stop being so insufferably humble, that's stop what! Or oblivious! Or whatever it is that you're doing! Just stop it!"
"I'm not being humble. Or any of that other stuff. I just got this place three days ago! Things keep falling into my lap, and if I thought about all of them all the time, I'd go crazy!"
"Well, excuse me for not thinking you have the hardest life ever! You and your princesshood, and your castle, and your grand council!" Trixie pounded the table, her voice cracking. "You know what? Forget it! I knew coming here was a mistake to begin with -- but for some reason I just can't get rid of the stupid hold that Twilight Sparkle has on my mind! And I just figured out why she irks me so much! "
Trixie walked to Twilight and leaned in, her voice low and razor sharp.
"Privilege is wasted on the privileged."
Trixie disappeared in a flash of blue smoke, leaving Twilight alone in the Room of Friendship.
---
In an instant, Trixie reappeared back in her carriage.
She took a good look around.
Her old wagon had been tiny, made of wood, and had barely enough room for her to rest. This was spacious. Still a single room, but it held several comforts of life. Shining trinkets adorned her shelves and her dresser, given to her from entertained and grateful ponies.
She'd been proud of it all. So proud.
Until an hour ago.
She looked back out at the gleaming castle, then shut her carriage's blinds, leaving her in darkness.
"...and what have you truly accomplished with your life, Lulamoon?" Trixie asked herself in a shuddering whisper. "What have you proven by throwing everything away?"
You are destined for great things, Princess Celestia's voice echoed in her mind. Whether you like it or not.
The last of Trixie's resolve crumbled. She tried her hardest to stop the tears, and failed. They ran, no matter how much her mind screamed for them not to.
Then came the chokes, and finally, the sobs, quiet and sorrowful, her heart squeezing in her chest.
She sat on her bed, sniffling and sobbing, until she lost track of how long she'd been doing both. She cried until it felt normal to do so. She cried until it felt good to cry. She cried, realizing she had been holding it all in for too many years to count.
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What a excellent job of finding the silver linings, Trixie.
Fun tour, and nice handling of the lost library.
Just liked this and it went from eight to eleven...
And no dislikes, thats a bonus...
Brilliant work, I have to say I am surprised I'm the only comment so far?
Nuuuuuu Trixie
I know in the beginning that you are not saying that Trixie found the Alicorn Amulet on the rock farm? The show says otherwise.
Spike's not so bad. Wait until you have Rainbow for a sleepover.
Ok, I love the way you are handling Trixie so far. Conifdent, yet falliable, I also love the way you are looking at Twilight's position and what it means for her and her friends as well as how to add about a billion books to the thing.
One of the first jokes I could think of after reading this chapter:
4492687 She didn't find the Alicorn Amulet, she found an imprint of it, and the trace of its aura. At least, that's what I made of that part.
Wow, I keep forgetting how long it's been since we last saw Trixie. Nothing in Season 4, and this would be the first time she met Twilicorn.
Dumb Trixie is dumb. Character development ahoy.
beardsandpixels.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/i-never-asked-for-this-210x210-13638063411.jpg
I- Wha- Hey- What? Oh my Faust, THE FEELS!
Now this Trixie I can believe in!
Good reasons for why she is who she is, perfectly legitimate reactions... and just a hint that at last she may be finding out what she can really do.
This needs an AU Tag. It's cannon that she bought the Alicorn Amulet in a Curios Store, from that fake Asian stallion where she threw the bag of bits to get the Alicorn Amulet he had on display. Not found in the rock farm.
Yes they do.
This is the kind of Sad story I enjoy. Not some great tragedy, but rather a clash of lives and personalities, and somepony just having a good cry somewhere inbetween.
Also, I want to hug Trixie. I mean, we all do, but right now I want to hug her twice.
Trixie bought the amulet.
Make a suggestion to the readers? Try not to take the intro to Chap. 2 so literal. Keep in mind how the first chapter ends. Take the author's interpretation of Trixie's subconscious at what it is: a sweet, clever recap taking Trixie and the reader over the time between Boast Buster and Magic Duel.
4509964 Maybe not on Equis.
(Yet another reason so many of us may want to go there...!)
4509964 well not the important ones at least.
That.... makes no sense.
The first part of that sentence was simply stating something obvious, while everything after the comma comes out of left field. Regret? For what? Lifting her head from the pillow?
I wasn't aware her head and pillow were so attached.
It's a popular fan theory, but in canon, I have yet to see it proven -- much like how everyone seems to think Pinkie Pie breaks the fourth wall. Neither are true. I know, I know, it's fanfiction, shouldn't be complaining.... but isn't fanfiction supposed to at least be somewhat grounded in the canon of the show? If this took place after the end of S4, then that means Magic Duel happened... and in Magic Duel, Trixie was shown to have pathetic magical powers. She's not "high-level" at all.
Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.
And YOUR friends.
...
OK, I get that this is a popular fan speculation that Trixie was once Celestia's student. And I get that you're going for something dramatic, especially that whole "privilege is wasted on the privileged" line (a line so good it gave me shivers).
But.
It's taking me a great deal of strength to withhold my personal opinion on this fan speculation. It's one of those deals where what was once a suggestion has blossomed into almost universally-accepted fanon. And it bugs the ever-lovin' shit out of me.
What transpired, in the show, to make people believe Twilight and Trixie were in any way equals in terms of magical prowess? Trixie's magic is purely show magic: misdirection and manipulation. Perhaps some charisma. Like Twilight said in Boast Busters, a unicorn only learns enough magic to employ their talents, and usually nothing more. That Trixie considers Twilight her rival is cute but misguided...
...because Trixie is egotistical enough to honestly believe that she's good enough to be Twilight's rival.
Sorry, but this development has totally ruined my expectations with this story. I can always make room for other peoples' headcanon: a coupling between Rainbow Dash and Applejack in one fic might not match what I think about the Mane Six, but because there's no evidence to disprove it any more than there's evidence than CAN prove it, I just let it slide and enjoy the story anyway. But there's plenty of evidence within canon to disprove the bizarre notion that Trixie is in any way a magic scholar on Twilight's level.
Honestly, I don't get why people assume this about Trixie. I mean, wasn't there this one other character who could have filled this role? What was her name again? Something about sunsets?
Poor Trixie, she always gets the radioactive acidic shit smeared end of the stick.
4506785 4510565
Please see 4494118
"ROCK BOTTOM" REVIEW
Apologies for the big delay on this; hopefully the next two reviews for this series won't take this long.
But since I am back on track at least for the moment, it means I get to highlight the wonderful little touches you've used to really dramatize and realize the character arcs going on in this story. Even the title plays a part; "Rock Bottom" isn't just a description of the overall emotional tone of the chapter, but a nice little progression from last chapter's title "Earth Bound". It's a handy microcosm for the techniques you've been using, and continue to use, throughout the story to insure that we really get to feel, understand, and be impacted by the development of the story's cast as they progress: building on previous events, being very upfront about what you're aiming for, and then making us realize there are actually a number of layers here even so.
The prologue sequence is a key piece of that once again. For starters, it's a pretty great reminder of the wonderful balance you strike in how you choose to characterize Trixie. Which is to say, the ideas she finds herself pondering over here-about her own abilities, about the disgust she now faces from the rest of the world for her deceptions, and most especially about the frustration she feels over Celestia's words to her back at the School and how that now hangs over her head like a storm cloud in light of her recent failures-are all easy to relate to and sympathize with; indeed, I love the emphasis you place here on how much Trixie's magic is genuinely part of her, and how its long disuse has been all the more difficult for her as a result. But you also express those ideas through Trixie's own thoughts in a manner that feels very much in keeping with her character, which is to say there's a pretty unmistakable layer of vanity and egotism to the whole thing that reminds us of how easy it is to not like this particular pony. Yet that too winds up coming back around and helps us better to understand Trixie, because we see here even more keenly than in Chapter One how much that egotism is a defense, an attempt on her part to prop up her own struggling sense of self-worth by overcompensating. It's not unlike what you've been doing thus far over in "Tiara Turnabout", asking us not to ignore the unpleasant side of a character easily seen as antagonistic, but instead understand why they are the way that they are. I also very much appreciate how it plays off, not only of what we saw in the previous chapter, but indeed what we saw in the previous prologue; as I said before, you make a lot of great structural choices here, and one of the very best is the use of the Prologues as a story unto themselves. There is a genuine progression to them that creates a mini-arc all its own, and we first start to really see that come into effect here; again, using Celestia's discussion with Trixie from last chapter really does a lot to solidify our understanding of how she sees herself and her place in the world, and casting that in contrast to being stuck on the Rock Farm really helps her internal conflict hit home. That you then further tie this prologue into the rest of the chapter makes things all the better, but I'll get to that more later. Admittedly, all this strong structure and connectivity does draw a sharp spotlight onto one of the few weak spots: the introduction of the Alicorn Amulet into the mix. I'll get more into that as we hit future chapters, because part of the problem is really only apparent once the story is finished, but even as it stands currently it's a thread that feels more than a touch dangling and disconnected from the rest of the story, even as I appreciate the clever notion of tying Trixie's time on the Rock Farm into how she discovered its existence*. You hedge your bets here well by really only hinting at the Amulet and what it will come to mean for Trixie, but it's also how you end the prologue, and so it is impossible to ignore how it just sort of...pops into the story, and remains entirely unrelated to just about anything else that happens for the rest of the chapter, or indeed the rest of the story.
Thankfully, that's a minor problem at best, because the rest of the chapter is an absolute delight**.
Well, OK, "delight" is maybe not quite the right word, because in point of fact the main thrust of the whole chapter is how dissatisfied both Trixie and Twilight are with where their so-called "destinies" have taken them at this point in their lives. The thing is, you handle that conflict so superbly that it winds up being kind of delightful anyway. A big part of that, naturally, is your wise choice to keep humor a consistent part of the formula for most of the chapter; the fact that both Trixie and Twilight feel like strangers in the halls of this new castle is a fact that you mine equally well for laughs ("So long as you don't mind getting lost. I've kind of been doing that all day" got a pretty good one out of me, for example) as you do for anything else, and the ultimately light, friendly dynamic that quickly develops between the two as a result of finally getting to really share in their mutual love of Magic is believable, endearing, and utterly charming. It's also one of many examples of how the prologue feeds so well into the rest of the chapter; the understanding we get there for what Magic means to Trixie at a personal level really strengthens our understanding of how and why she's able to bond so well with Twilight over the rest of the chapter. For that matter, it helps us understand why, even as it seems to be going so well at first, Trixie is resistant to the idea of befriending Equestria's newest Princess; it's so much a part of her self-made identity that Twilight is her rival, and we know now more than ever, thanks to that scene on the Rock Farm, how crucial Trixie's that sense of identity really is to her.
Equally important and effective is, unsurprisingly, your handling of Twilight. I've lost track of just how many times I've pointed out your incredible grasp of her character, because you do, and I'm adding this to the count because it is a crucial element of this chapter, and indeed the whole story: your Twilight is great, all the more so because it feels like you're trying to deliberately make sense of what was, until "Twilight's Kingdom", a very confusing element of Twilight's character post-Princesshood, mainly what said Princesshood really means to her, and doing a bang-up job of it. The fact that she herself remains more than a touch confused and frustrated by it is clear enough, but we also get a good sense that despite all that she's still trying to learn from it (and also, I loved the sly reference to "Twilight Switch"; it's delivered cleverly enough that you don't need to have read that story to get it, but if you have it rings that much stronger, and since "Switch" remains one of my personal favorites from your considerable body of work, it really struck a chord with me <3). It plays off of what was, to me, one of Season 4's better little touches, that all throughout we get to see Twilight acting more as a teacher to others instead of the one learning the lessons herself ("Rainbow Falls" springs to mind immediately), and you bring that element into play very nicely here. By combining the two as well as you do, though, both her confusion and her actual growth, it makes a powerful portrait of an Identity that is very much in flux at the moment, and that contrast to Trixie, who has tried so hard to keep her self-image consistent and alive, it really hits home.
And it all builds up, so perfectly, to the big emotional burst at the end. It's one of those great "oh, of course!" moments, the sort of thing that you wouldn't necessarily consider before it's revealed but which, once it does appear, feels almost painfully obvious. Of course Trixie, who as this story shows us decided to strike out on her own to try and find her own personal path to greatness through hard work and perseverance only to be met by a long string of failures and frustrations for her trouble, would ultimately take issue with Twilight's reticence to accept the incredible gifts that, as far as she's concerned, have all but been handed to her by Royal (or worse, Cosmic) fiat. And of course Twilight, who has actually had a whole bunch of Big Stuff she never asked for flat-out dumped on top of her in fairly short order, would not be terribly well equipped to understand or respond to Trixie's feelings. It points us so perfectly to one of the story's greatest overall strengths. It is Twilight's story as much as Trixie's, and the magnificently organic ways you find for their two character arcs to interact (and intertwine) makes for an absolutely gripping read. That it gets let off in a head of miserable, Trixie-breakdown steam at the very end just renders it that much more powerful for showing us the real, intimate level at which these emotions are real and felt by the characters.
So yes, "Rock Bottom" results in our two heroines going to some dark, unhappy places in the end. But it also takes us there honestly, and powerfully, and it manages to set up a lot of the great payoffs that are still to come even as it delivers some pretty powerful payoffs of its own. Definitely not just "the middle chapter", this.
*and if i could put up "she learned of its existence on the farm, not actually found it there" in big neon words for other people reading this all of whom apparently missed that detail somehow, i would >_>
**a bookish delight, some might say. 8B
I'm not sure how I can fully point out how delicious I find this little sentence.
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I, too, found it to be quite scrumptious.
Okay, Bookish. You had a great start, and now it continues to pay off. I'm seeing so much I enjoy in here, from Trixie's acceptance of Twilight being a princess (and subsequent admittance to feeling the need to bow—amazing character development there), to her willingness to go under a tour. Twilight is perfectly in character here. She's not talking down to Trixie, she's remaining humble but not intentionally, and it's quite clear that the story is set in the immediate aftermath of Tirek's attack. All the emotions are in the right place and don't feel forced in the slightest.
Even more back story, too. Hmmm. The finding of the insignia is quite significant. Never seen that take on her desire to obtain the Amulet before. I do like that you used working on the farm as a way for Trixie to hone her magic.
One thing I do want to point out to you: I see you using hyphens (-) as dashes (– and —). I understand if you happen to type on a mobile device (or maybe you're just unaware, I don't know), but a hyphen is not a substitute for an em or en dash. Indeed, I see you using a double-hyphen -- like so, which is perfectly acceptable if you can't produce a dash -- yet you close a few quotes with hyphens that are clearly supposed to be interruptions. Use a dash there, too. you can generate an em dash (my personal choice) by holding the alt key, pressing 0151 on your number keypad, and releasing the alt key. The en dash is very similar—just hit 0150 instead.
Anyway, onward!
This is going to go splendidly.
A big round table? Oh if only they lived in Canterlot! Then they could be the knights of the round table! Oh well, Canterlot is a silly place really.
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But it's only a model...
This castle must have been designed by Sombra. Crystals and stairs everywhere.
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"Youth is wasted on the young".