I am cold...
Winter has arrived here in Ponyland and snow blankets the silent empty garden. In solitude, my thoughts turn to the great questions of life: Who are we? Why are we here?
WHY DO I FEEL COLD WHEN I AM MADE OF STONE???
It makes no logical sense! I don't have any body heat, I can't feel the snow that covers my body, and I have not felt anything resembling temperature since I was trapped here! Whose sick mind decided "oh, I feel sorry for this poor sod, let's give him feeling again."
Whoever you are buddy, once I get out of here I am going to make you into glue!
Dear lord, I think there is something wrong with me... I am now beginning to lie to myself. I don't even know how to make glue! How bad would it be if I promised revenge and had no way to see it through... I have to think of something more realistic, like hamburgers. Yeah, that will work! I will make that villain into a hamburger. No! Even better, a cupcake! I will bake him into a delicious sugar coated treat and feast upon it!
Now that the important stuff is out of the way, I have to find out how to get out. Hmm...
Nope, no ideas... Maybe if I ask Twilight she will think of something. She seems like a smart little horse and I am sure that changing someone from stone to flesh is a simple task. I mean really, she has magic, and if I remember correctly, magic can do just about anything! That means the next time I see her I can become human again!
Now that I think about it, when was the last time she visited? Lets see... she popped in and told me about some children writing horrible gossip about her and her friends. The gardener sneaked into our conversation rudely interrupted her. She finished her story and picked one of the blue roses that grew by my feet. Then she disappeared.
That was... at least one full moon rotation ago... which means... she is extremely late!!
I am going to have to give that filly a stern talking too. You don't make promises like "I will visit you once a week" then ignore them for an entire month!
I thought you wanted to be my friend...
"Daddy?"
Huh? Who is that? Who is there?
I look down and realize that a small pink purple filly with curly purple and white stripped hair was peaking out from one of the bushes. Her eyes looked like pink and purple whirlpools and she was wearing a beanie hat (obviously not a very stylish pony).
"I am here to free you Daddy," she whispered as she crawled up the the base of the statue. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. Those guards are mean and wouldn't let me in..."
Let me get this straight little pony... you have been trying to sneak in and free me?
Hold on! DADDY?
"Don't worry Daddy, I will do my best."
How can I be your daddy? I haven't left this spot in ages. I haven't even hugged for goodness sake! How in the world could I have made a kid! Unless... they reproduce in a different way in this world... Which means they obviously wouldn't have children by any physical means since I haven't touched anyone since I have arrived. In fact, I haven't even met any ponies here besides that Scruffy fellow and... Twilight?
Oh... my... god... I have had a baby with Twilight...
No wonder she doesn't want to visit me anymore! I haven't been paying her any child support! Her parents must be furious with me for ever doing such a thing as talking to her without consent! I can see it so clearly now, she wanted to talk to me with a one sided conversation! Why else would she talk to a statue? I was not supposed to say anything back to her because a two way conversation had very serious consequences... I should have used protection. A breathing mask or a muffler or something!
Oh lord... I deserve to be impris- Is that a pink cloud?
Wow... it's so cute!
"Do you like it Daddy? I learned how to make one just like you!" The little pony wheezed. She looked very tired for some reason. She tossed the cloud into the air and frowned when it slowly floated down. "But I can't get it to fly like yours did..."
I think it is adorable! Have you shown your mother yet? She must be so proud of you.
"Hey Octy! i think I see something over there." A voice in the distance said.
The little pony jumped in fright. "Oh no! I threw it up too high!" She looked up at me with her crazy spiral eyes, "I promise I will be back to free you Daddy!" She turned and scurried into bushes.
I watched the cloud flutter onto the ground. I felt so sad... the little thing just wanted to fly like other clouds but gravity is a harsh mistress. Maybe if we used a cannon we could get it to stay in the air...
"Aww... it looks like somepony dropped their cotton candy..."
I looked down and notice two ponies standing in near of me. One had a gray coat and a black mane with treble clef was tattooed to her... flank. I think that is right term. The second pony was a snow white unicorn with a bright blue turquoise stripped mane. Two music notes were on her flank.
Needless to say, I am enthusiastic. I got three visitors in one day!
The gray mare was looking around the garden, as if trying to find something. "That's strange..." she mumbled.
"Whats the matter Octy?" the unicorn asked.
"Where is the pony who dropped this? I don't see any hoofprints leading up here or leaving?" she replied.
The unicorn moved her head close to the gray mare's face, and gazed deeply into her eyes. An evil grin spread across her face. "Maybe nopony was here? Maybe it was a ghost from the past coming here to gaze at the dead frozen garden! Whoooo!" She flailed her arms dramatically in the air.
The gray mare (I assume she is the one called Octy) cringed from the giggling unicorn. Her gray coat seemed to be a slightly whiter shade of gray. "N... now is not the time to tell g...ghost stories Vinyl! You know how I h...hate ghost stories!"
I giggled. This mare is funny.
She flinched and stared strait at me. I swear, She is nearly as white as that unicorn now!
"Maybe it isn't a ghost, but a spirit of the ponies that these statues represent!" Vinyl teased. "Like him! The draconequus of chaos has returned to turn your cello into foam noodles again!"
"Vinyl!" she screamed.
I couldn't help it! I started laughing at these ponies antics! They are so much more lively than Twilight!
"Shut up you!" Octy screamed.
"Oh calm down Octy. You know I was joki-" Vinyl began.
"Not you! Him!" the gray mare pointed at me. "That stupid rock is laughing at me!"
Laughter was replaced by shock. She heard me laughing...
You can hear me?
"I said shut up!" she screamed. "I am not a rock farmer anymore... I have left that life behind me a long time ago!" she turned to a stunned Vinyl, "Lets go." she started trotting off.
Wait! Don't leave!
She ignored me and continued to trot away. Vinyl stood still for a second, then muttered something too quiet for me to hear before following her.
I don't want to be left alone in the cold again. You can't leave yet... not before at least talking to me! Don't you know how hard it is to live when everyone will talk to you but won't listen! They can't hear me but you can! Stop ignoring me and come back! I am not a lawn decoration! COME BACK AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A LIVING PERSON AGAIN!!!
*Crack*
....... Allright either that was his sanity cracking, or the stone. I wonder if Pinkie can talk to rocks. The would explain why she had a pile of rocks at her party. You know, when she went crazy . Anyway, WHY ARE YOU READING THIS AND NOT WRITING THE STORY AUTHOR GET BACK TO WORK SLAVE!!!
Oh this is addicting, oh man I can't wait for more
Dang it I can't quite remember the name of the pony that had the beanie, and spirally like eyes......
420730
Screw Ball.
No more to read?
424533 Not yet, but there will be!
Can't wait for a new chapter..... sort of d'awwwwwed when screw ball showed up........ almost makes me wonder where the heck discord went.
Wait Pinky was a rock farmer
O hell yeah
No! Even better, a cupcake! I will bake him into a delicious sugar coated treat and feast upon it!
AH SEE WHATCHA DID THAR!
BEST PONY VINYL SCRATCH!
I'm loving this.
OOOOOO. I REALLY like how you had Screwball in here and made her Discords daughter, btw that scene was ADORABLE!!!
Also like how you made Octavia P.P sister, at least i think you did.
Can't wait to see what that crack was.
You made a reference to the "c" word! That is unacceptable!
Bumpercarts kew kew kajew!
That is certainly an... interesting manner of reproduction you have poposed there.
Ponies reproduce via spores they release during good conversation!
It all makes sense now!
.....
Wow, that might actually make a really amusing joke fic
....
....
.....
Oh Sweet Luna! That makes a disturbing amount of sense! Rock farmers talking to rocks!
Sounds like the ending to a typical OC Human-in-equestria romance fic.
DO NOT WANT. SCARY MENTAL IMAGE GO AWAY. YES, MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK.
Capitalise the "I".
...This isn't one of those head canons where Octavia was one of Pinkie's sisters is it? You know before they came out and outright told everyone that they weren't related? ...Right?...
Completely trapped, conscious but paralysed with only eyesight and hearing working? Yeah, you'd go mad too. So, was that DT thinking that Discord was her 'daddy'? I always knew that kid would go the way of Screwball eventually!
So, how will the ponies react to a human falling out of Discord's statue... or possibly a human mind in Discord's body (assuming said mind is sane enough to remember who he really is)?
She flinched and stared strait at me.
Strait?
STRAIT!
This was a good chapter, friend.
I liked how ya think Octavia is Pinkie Pie's sister.
'Cause that's my headcanon, as well.
Nice job, friend-o. ~ Fancy
"have to think of something more realistic, like hamburgers. Yeah, that will work! I will make that villain into a hamburger. No! Even better, a cupcake! I will bake him into a delicious sugar coated treat and feast upon it!"
......
Well, this was interesting and a tad disturbing.
5307789 ahh cupcakes my introduction to the brony community gotta admit you guys are fuck up
9101455
Got a link?