Chapter 8
It was easy, painless, and quick; just the kind of breakup that he liked.
Paradox skipped down the streets of the pony city and briefly wondered: 'Where did all the colorful ponies go?' When he first left the garden there were numerous booths lining the street; merchandise of all sorts were being displayed in the shop windows, and the entire plaza was packed with vibrant, colorful ponies. A funny tune came to mind, and he began to whistle it earnestly. The eerie melody bounced across the abandoned plaza, echoing throughout the city. He paused his skipping at times he paused to hit the counter of a booth like a makeshift drum.
“And what do you think you are doing?”
The human turned around to stare at his rainbow maned savior hovering a few feet from him. The blue Pegasus was looking very irritated… then again, he was feeling a little cranky at her too since she was unwilling to give him a hug… He debated with himself for a few seconds whether he should answer her or if he should ignore her and keep walking…
“Well?” the Pegasus crossed her arms… legs and glared. (Dawww… Isn't she adorable. She is trying to look tough)
Maybe I should answer her. It isn’t like she was cruel or mean to me, and I am a proper gentleman. A true gentleman is never rude to a lady, and should answer any and all questions she may ask to the best of his abilities. Now, before I can answer, I must ask myself: Where am I going? Where am I? Answering her question will be a little hard if I don't know the answer myself. Maybe if I beat around the bush a little she won’t realize I don’t know.
“In the heart of this city beats a warm heat, after being trapped in stone it's what I seek.”
Perfect! Vague enough to sound like I know what I am talking about and still tell her nothing! Oh Parodox, you are a genius!
“What the hay are you talking about? A warm heat in the center of the city?” the pegasus’ eyes grew wide. “You’re going after Princess Celestia?!?”
Oh snap! Mission abort, mission abort!!! How on earth did she get the idea I was trying to go against her Tyrant Queen! I might be new to this world, but I am not crazy!
She hovered dangerously close to me and backed me into a flower stall. Her eyes were flashing, I could see fire down in their depths (Literally. If I was not about to die I would comment on how cool that is) I could tell she was out for blood (I wonder if that is what they eat… dear god I am living in a world of flesh-eating ponies!) I glanced back and forth searching desperately for something to distract this hovering carnivorous nightmare… there were flowers everywhere. I guess I need to get creative.
I grabbed a bunch of roses and threw them into her face.
She screamed in shock when my flowery assault struck. I, being the masterful tactician I am, made the best of the situation... I made a break for an alleyway. Once inside, I jump between a pile of snow and a trashcan and tuckered down to hide.
The blue blur flew in and passed my spot clever hiding place. I am not sure how far she flew into the ally, but after a minute or so I heard her grunt in frustration.
“Where are you, you freak!” her voice echoed off the walls of the alley. I turned my head saw her hovering nearby. If I was not looking straight at her, I would never have known she was only a couple dozen meters away from me… which gave me an idea.
“Hide and seek is the game we will play, will you find me who can say. ” I bellowed into the alley, my voice bouncing off the walls and out into the streets. I grinned at the shocked expression that appeared onto the pegasus’ face.
Are you trying to kill us?
Nope, I just want to have some fun. We couldn’t play many games when we were stuck in stone so I might as well have some now.
I watched the pegasus’ head swerve around and gaze out of the ally. I turned my head and glanced out as well to see some a few ponies slowly leaving their homes and heading out into the streets. It is at times like these that I start to get strange ideas and thoughts. Nothing major, just little things like ‘what does it feel like to ride on the back of a flying Pegasus?’ ‘Would it be rude to call unicorns horny horses?’ ‘What do pony bathrooms look like?’ And my personal favorite:
“I wonder how loud I can make this alley echo?”
My grin grew as I took in a deep breath. I glance up at the blue Pegasus to make sure she has not seen me yet. (she hasn’t) and turned to face the ally opening. I cuffed my hands around my mouth like a megaphone and roared:
“I WILL HIDE WITHIN YOUR WALLS, BIDING MY TIME TO PLAY, COME OUT AND FIND ME, OR I WILL WIN THE DAY!!!”
Why are you rhyming?
Because it is fun and I can. Now shut up so I can see what the Pegasus will… crap, she already flew out of the ally… thanks a lot buddy! Now what am I going to do for fun?
Stay hidden and hope the entire thing blows over?
Bah! Where is the excitement in that? There is no point in winning if my victory is easy. I need to find a pony to chase…
I crawled deeper into the alleyways of the city. It is shocking to see the difference between here and the street. On the street, the sun was shining down on the city, reflecting off the stonework to both melt the snow and warm the people. The buildings were bright and cheerful to bring out a smile on you as you walked down the plaza... but here... everything was draped in shadows. Where beautiful colors shined on you on the street, dull gray stone and mortar loomed over you. Trash cans full of junk were placed next to each door that lined the ally instead of colorful booths with merchandise overflowing on the shelves. The small patches of snow that managed to fall between the buildings piled up into large mounds of cold, and a chilly breeze solidified the foreboding feeling of the back alleys.
Needless to say, I didn't like it. It was dark and cold... much too close to being trapped in stone again. I shivered... why does it feel so cold? I was mostly warm on the street! What do people wear to keep warm...
A coat.
I need a coat. First stop will be a clothing shop. The pony chasing can wait.
I wandered through the chilly labyrinth of alleys looking at each trashcan for fabric. If I could find fabric, I will find a clothing shop! Logic, you are a wonderful friend to have!
After much, much too long of searching, I finally found a trash bin with shreds of fabric bursting from under the lid. I lifted up the lid to see that it was full of pin holders, thread bobbins, and (surprise) more fabric. I think I have found my store.
Like the gentleman I am, I politely knocked on the door with my foot. However, the door was made of some flimsy material because after i knocked it flew off it's hinges with a loud crash. I shook my head in disappointment... whoever owned this shop must have been a major cheapskate... I will need to have a few words with them if I see them. If I don't, I will leave a delightful letter expressing my displeasure with their establishment.
I made my way inside and found myself inside the lobby. Much to my disappointment, it was a clothing shop... for women. Dresses lined the each and every corner of the store, shoe racks dotted the clothing sections with shoes that matched each and every dress.
Though I was moderately upset at the moment, I am a man. We have the wonderful ability to suck up any discomfort and irritation we have when the moment calls for it. I take a deep breath and begin to search through the dresses. Eventually, I found what I was looking for. It was a kilt with a beautiful combination of brown and green. Gems sewed into the fabric and intertwined in the lacing that lined the fabrics edges. I pulled it off the rack and headed toward the dressing rooms.
They were too small... seriously, why don't they have anything in my size! Not the kilt, it fit perfectly. It is the dressing rooms that are too small! Such sloppy service in a store that looks so high class... My letter is going to be a lot less delightful that I first thought.
I managed to cram myself into one of the tiny rooms so I could examine myself in one of the mirrors. I look like that guy from braveheart, only I am a lot better looking. Come on, how many men wear makeup into battle? That movie is almost embarrassing to watch...
They are wearing battle paint
Really? Why would they send painters out into battle? It seems kind of silly to send painters to fight when soldiers would be the better choice.
They are Scottish rebels who were fighting for independence from Kind Edward the first back in the thirteenth century. The war paint was part of their traditional war uniform.
It is still girly. Real men don't paint their face!
You are wearing a dress... Your opinion on what real men do doesn't hold much weight right now.
Bah, this isn't a dress, it's a kilt!
You are in a dress shop that is full of gems and lace. You picked a dress out of the 'earth's beauties' beauties. It is a dress.
...
I am ignoring you from now on.
Once I finally got something to cover myself with, me and my kilt moved over to the window to see what was going on outside. Maybe I could find a pony and make this boring hide-and-go-seek game more exciting...
I stared out onto the streets. Lots of white ponies dressed like roman soldiers were stomping around. I am going to assume they are the moderators to the hide-and-go-seek game because they look kinda cool. A few other ponies also strode by with their noses pointed almost strait up into the air. I swear they had to have neck problems looking up like that all the time... How do they even see where they were going? I have half a mind to go out and put my foot in front of them to see if they will trip...
Can you trip a four legged animal? Note to self: Test theory at a later time.
The last ponies that past by my window were so boring looking that I couldn’t begin to contemplate choosing them as my target… How is that even bloody possible… I am in the middle of a city of talking ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns and they are all so boring that I can’t even play a small game of--
Oh! Isn't that the white unicorn from earlier! Yep, it's her! I know that blue spiky hair anywhere! She was fun when she visited me when I was still a statue!
It is finally time to begin a game of hide-and-go-seek-tag. Obviously, I will be 'It' first because I thought of the game…
I crouched down and began to slink to the door of the store.
“He he he” I chuckled.
This is going to be fun...
x.X.x
Vinyl’s heart was racing… The strange voice shouted out its threat to take over Canterlot not even thirty minutes ago. The guards were on high alert searching through every nook and cranny of the city trying to find the creature that broke loose from the Canterlot gardens…
She shuddered at the thought of being so close to a dangerous creature as Discord… No wonder there were no high security prisons in Equestria, the Princess turned all the most dangerous criminals into stone and placed them in her private garden where only she and a few select ponies were allowed access. No wonder Octy was so nervous about going in there.
Now one of those criminals were free and plotting something terrible for the city. The guards have called the city in to martial law until the threat is dealt with and the Princess has had to call for the Elements of Harmony to take him out. Vinyl remembered the last time the creature broke free; she remembered all the chaos he caused as he flew across Equestria. At least back then he did everything out in the open laughing like it was a huge game… now he was using subtlety and silence to attack the city… that was one hundred times more frightening because nopony knew where he was going to strike first… He still called it a game, but now he sounded completely insane. Whatever 'game' he was planning, it won't end well for the Canterlot, or Equestria if escapes the city. Vinyl prayed to Celestia that they will be able to stop him before anypony gets hurt.
A small pressure on the back of her neck appeared making her jump in surprise. She crashed onto the ground the world burred into a bright flash of bluish white. She gasped and grabbed her horn. It felt as if something was trying to pull it off her head. The feeling couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds, but it felt as if the yanking, pulling feeling lasted hours. Her sight cleared up quickly, and she swerved her head around to stare at… something pink. Her eyes slowly moved up the pink surface until it reached two shining yellow eyes. Her mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. The creature spoke to her in a quiet, terrifying voice.
“Tag, you’re it.”
She panicked and attempted push him away with her magic… but where her magic used to be she could only feel emptiness. Cold terror surged through Vinyl. Reaching for magic always felt like placing a small pipe next to a reservoir of water and controlling where the small stream of liquid would go, but now it felt as if the reservoir was completely empty.
She did what any unicorn would do in that situation. She screamed.
[A.N. Well... I said it would be an extra long chapter in my blog, and it is! It is the longest chapter in the story yet! (2400 words) Especially when it ends in a perfect cliffhanger!
Parodox: Exactly! You are a terrible person.
Midnight: Hold on? How did you get here? You can't be here? This is the Author's Notes! You are a character!
Parodox: Please... I'm Parodox and this is my story. I feel that I should be allowed to answer any questions that the audience should have for me. Especially since we finally hit 100 favorites.
Midnight: Audience? You are not supposed to know about them!
Parodox: Then next time don't forget to lock the door on the 4th wall. Seriously, what kind of crummy author are you.
Midnight: Gah! Forget this! I am going on vacation! I will see y'all in 2 weeks.
Parodox: Don't forget to lock the door on your way out!]
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so far I find this story really good cant wait for more chapters
YAY!
Ahh.... Magical void...
Liking the story so far, found a few errors in grammar and spelling that should be fixed, would recommend trying to find yourself an edtior now that you have enough people favoriting your story.
"I wonder how load I can make this ally echo?" should be "I wonder how loud I can make this alley echo." Ally was used instead of alley in several places.
shop... for woman. should be shop... for women in cases like these the noun be plural.
the moderators to the hid-and-go-seek game should be the moderators to the hide-and-go-seek game
city of talking ponies, Pegasus, and unicorns should be city of talking ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns Pegasi is plural of Pegasus
strange voice shouted out its treat to take over Canterlot should be strange voice shouted out its threat to take over Canterlot
She shuttered at the thought of being should be She shuddered at the thought of being
Thats all I got, keep up the good work.
NO MORE UPDATES FOR 2 MORE WEEKS!!!
*table flip*
Another great chapter but the question still remains where the heck is Discord?
671379 Many more chapter are to come! Let's spread the insanity all across FIMfiction!
671470
671597 Grrr... I made half of those corrections, but the file must not have saved. Bloody temperamental computers!
I am looking for a new editor now. My old one has disappeared recently. *tears*
*Story edited. Thanks for the corrections*
671656
Ah statue man, scaring unicorns, one pony at a time.....
He's wearing a dress...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/184/961/tumblr_lnvvueuSsj1qcj56b.png
Well, this story is certainly...different.
Liked and faved!
675118 Its not a dress, its a kilt!
th08.deviantart.net/fs70/150/f/2011/262/a/5/kilt_pony_by_kalleflaxx-d4adjv0.png
675674 That was my goal. I have seen a lot of HiE fics that the human is always either a good guy or a bad guy... but what about a human that is in the gray area? This story is out of my comfort zone since I tend to write tragic and sad stories. Comedy is a fun new world to explore as a writer! Glad to have ya aboard on our insane adventures!
675834 Hmm...I wouldn't say he's in the gray zone as much as bat-shit insane.
He also needs a tunic.
OR!
Or he could go with a classic.
The bedsheet toga.
I bet he could totally rock a bedsheet toga.
Aside from a few spelling and grammar issues (we'll have to work on those sometime in the WAG[Sweet monkey sphincter I made an acronym!]) I am thoroughly enjoying this story. I am a little confused about Paradox, but I guess that's kind of the point (being that he's a paradox and all) I look forward to more reading!
Ohhhhhhh I'm gonna enjoy reading the future chapters
This is just hilarious
738606 733760 Glad you are enjoying it. It is good to have you aboard on our insane adventures!
Update?
742438 It should be up sometime tonight depending on how fast it can be edited.
Sooo... the isolation drove the poor guy sufficiently nuts to pass for Discord.
Fair enough, it said Comedy on the tags.
I like his brand of insanity.
I love how you devloped his magic nullifying ability
You just keep making this story better!
Wow, even the ponies think he's crazier than Discord...
Then again, if Discord was awake the whole time he was trapped...
*Shudder*
the Princess turned all the most dangerous criminals into stone and placed them in her private garden where only she and a few select ponies were allowed access.
I gotta kick sand about that. That's cruel and unusual, even by bastard human standards. completely and horribly OOC for Celestia. Magic ponies in the land of KINDNESS, TOLERANCE and FRIENDSHIP, remember?
That's a lot less funny after you read Black Beauty
This is the perfect background music for this chapter.
your link is broken
Do I detect Scotland bashing?
HAMISH!!! FETCH THE CLAYMORES!!!
Know why it's called a Kilt? Because that's what happens to fuckers who call it a dress.
Nah, in all seriousness, this story is pretty boss.
That's not suppose to be there, make it go away.
Change the "as" to "like" and it'll sound much better.
Remove the "the". (The red indicates a missing word.)
Wait, he can nullify magic? Will the Elements work on him or not?