• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen May 21st, 2023

Whisper-Quill


Give me a "P"! Give me an "R"! I'll finish the rest when I'm motivated enough to spell 'Procrastinate'.

T

Raine is a strange filly, with an even stranger appearance. Half Unicorn, half Thestral, or Bat Pony for those a bit less forgiving, she has little luck in the orphanage she has grown up in since birth. With little hope left, will a certain fashionista show her that second chances come to those who wait, or will Raine already be too far gone?

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 66 )

There are some really interesting concepts at work here... Rarity as an adoptive parent stands out... sure there are fics where her parents are killed off to show how motherly she can be to Sweetie Belle, and plenty of Sparity Spawn stories, but here... it's as if Rarity used her special talent to find the hidden gem that is Raine, and that shows promise.

Raine herself is going to be tricky. Alicorn OCs are not generally held in high regard because most are overpowered and poorly written. To compensate, some authors have written a workaround for the concept: The true Alicorns are Celestia and Luna, with immortality, phenomenal ultra cosmic power, etc. Twilight and Cadance are ascended Alicorns, with the "magic" of all three pony tribes. Then there's hybrids... Fluttershy and Bulk Biceps have earth pony and pegasus magic. Alula (the Erroria version) has pegasus and unicorn magic. It is often more difficult for the hybrids to reach their full potential (Fluttershy and Bulk Biceps are not the strongest flyers, Alula isn't very adept with magic) than a pony born with only one tribe's attributes.

Raine has been shown to have an attention to detail and a bit of vanity regarding her appearance, much like her adoptive mother. It will be interesting to see what else they have in common, what sort of inner beauty Rarity can bring out of her, and how Sweetie Belle reacts to becoming an aunt.

4137557 I'm glad you've taken such keen interest in my fanfiction :twilightsmile: And on the subject of Alicorns, Raine isn't one. She's a hybrid as well. She is part Unicorn, part Thestral. Thestral's are the technical name for "Bat-Pony", much like Flutterbat and Princess Luna's personal royal guard. I get where the confusion could come from though, a filly having wings and a horn, I plan to go more in depth on her strange appearances sometime in the future of this story.

Also, I like how you picked up on her close care for her cosmetic appearance. I wanted her to be more of an attraction to Rarity and give Rarity's decision to adopt Raine some thought out meaning.

I was concerned about how I portrayed her depression in the story though, because I've gotten some less than gratifying mail from other readers about the abuse she received from the foal who attacked her with the fork, and then they're were the one's about her depressive thoughts and the foal who had commit suicide, using his bed sheet to hang himself. Probably should have added the 'Dark' tag, huh? Anyway, I hope you continue to read my fanfiction as it progresses, and thanks again for the praise :twilightblush:

[HASN'T READ STORY YET]

*sees picture* ... Okay, what's wrong with her? :rainbowhuh: All I see is a cute unique filly I'd adopt right away if it were me.

4143955 It's a story I thought of while in college. Try it out and let me know what you think.

4144345
The fact that I've already given a like and set to "read later", at least until that new tracking feature gets implimented, should tell how I feel about it.

Hey everypony. So some bad news. I was working on chapter 2, and my computer decided "Hurr Durr I'm gonna restart" So half the chapter disappeared. :fluttercry: Sorry everypony

4145785 that ok and don't you mean chapter 3

4148968 No there's a Prologue, which isn't a chapter, it's a follow up to the first chapter, like in books like Artemis Fowl and Pendragon, where things are given a mysterious but informative light before the actual story begins, and then I have chapter one.

4149447 ok and are you working on chapter 2 right now or not

4149473 I am. Like I said previously; chapters in stories that are as big as this story will be take time. I have to write it out, re-read it, correct any grammatical and punctual errors, re-read it again, and then put it through my editor. Being an author is a long winded process :applejackunsure:

4151228 ok and i am sorry for me to keep on asking when the chapter will come out and I hope you can forgive me

4151660 Oh your fine :raritywink: I'm actually very flattered that your so eager to read my FIMfiction :twilightblush:

this is a very good story, and I don't say that very often. Bravo!
Oh, btw, how do you pronounce "Raine".:twilightblush: (Its not that I have no idea, its that I'm pretty sure my only one is wrong)

this chapter is so awesome and cute it was worth the wait and i can't wait to read future chapters and i forgive you for taking a long time with this chapter

Raine is adorable :twilightsmile::eeyup: I just know the CMC will enjoy spending time with her, though there might be a bit of a rough spots with Sweetie Bell thinking Rarity doesn't care for her any more :unsuresweetie:

4201881 Raine is pronounced just like rain. I just added the "E" haha :rainbowlaugh:

4205856 heh, that what I thought at first. Sorry I have really bad luck with names in everyway and I thought that pronunciation was so simple, it couldn't be right. thanks for the clarification.

4204029 I'm thinking about adding a little bit of sisterly conflict involving Raine, I just don't know how I'll manage it :applejackunsure:

Gaaahhhh I've left this story alone for far too long!!! I have dishonored myself, I have dishonored my family, I have dishonored my cow!!! Please forgive me!!! :raritycry:

4496970 i forgive you and i hope the next chapter come out soon for this story

4527893 It means I'm Sorry in japanese

4529762 ok and i know i said more then one time on your page but i got a question when will the next chapter come out for this story

4529783 I'm actually putting as much time into it as possible. My parents are renewing their vows this week and I'm gonna help around with all the catering and be the really loud guy that tells everybody when certain events start. This will be their 21st year being married come December, and they wanted to do something special, so now I'm stuck spending most of my day packing and cleaning and all the extra fun back breaking stuff. Anyway, I'm hoping to get this chapter done before the 13th, because thats when the renewal starts, and it wont end until the 15th.

4529858 ok and i hoping too that you get the next chapter done before the 13th so i can read it

Night-Shade is the next chapter for this coming out soon and sorry about asking you a lot about when will the next chapter come out i hope you can forgive me for that and how are you

4571714 Hey Dream. It's OK that you keep asking about Different. Like I said, I'm ecstatic that you like this FIM fic so much :pinkiehappy: I'm not doing so hot though. I caught a pretty bad fever and my whole body aches like mad :pinkiesick: I think I might have gotten bit by something while at my folks renewal, but who knows. I'm actually just about finished with chapter 3 and I should have it out soon. Writing is about all I can do in between migraines and the hours of sleep I've been subjugated to. None the less though, I'll be picking up speed here on Different, so please stay with me here :raritywink: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a follower will keep me sane and full of determination. :twilightblush:

4577662 ok and i will stay with you as a follower

Comment posted by dream1990 deleted Mar 3rd, 2015
Comment posted by Whisper-Quill deleted Mar 3rd, 2015
Comment posted by dream1990 deleted Mar 3rd, 2015
Comment posted by Whisper-Quill deleted Mar 3rd, 2015

yay chapter 4 is out i love it a lot can't wait for the next chapter to come out when ever that is and please try have the next chapter come out a lot sooner and this chapter turned out great

Nice chapter, I can't wait to see Sweetie Bell's first meeting with Raine. I love how Raine called Rarity mommy at the end of the chapter:yay:

4626184 i love how Raine called Rarity mommy at the end of this chapter too

Comment posted by Whisper-Quill deleted Mar 3rd, 2015
Comment posted by dream1990 deleted Mar 3rd, 2015
Comment posted by RedRioteer deleted Mar 3rd, 2015
Comment posted by Whisper-Quill deleted Mar 3rd, 2015
Comment posted by RedRioteer deleted Mar 3rd, 2015
Comment posted by Whisper-Quill deleted Mar 3rd, 2015

Night-Shade can you please reply to my latest comment on your page when you are online again

i like it and i am a (boy in real life not a girl)

5691329 So sorry haha :twilightblush: I'll fix that right away.

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