“What's up, little guy?”
For the umpteenth time that morning Angel unraveled his almost-smooth scroll and held it up for another pony to see.
The mare smiled. “Wow, did you draw that?” she said patronizingly. “That's really good!” Angel slapped his paw against his forehead as she turned to sell her carrots to another customer.
He rolled the sketch up, held it in his teeth and bounced across the market in search of more helpful ponies. After the Mayor's press conference Angel had thought that more ponies would have understood his goal, but most of them brushed him off like they would an irritating foal. He'd learned long ago that being a bunny in a pony town wasn't easy, no matter how intelligent a bunny he was, but he had no choice but to continue his quest. He had to find an answer. Fluttershy was depending on him.
A clopping from behind alerted him of the approach of one of the town's many new couples. An arctic-blue pegasus affectionately bumped noses with her special somepony as they meandered down the street, determined not to let the morning's news ruin their perfect day. The pair reared onto their hindlegs in fright when Angel bounced into their path and held his sketch aloft.
The stallion, a yellow-orange earth pony, recovered first. “Jeez, rabbit!” he exclaimed. “Watch where you're going!”
Angel gave him a flat stare and pointed to the drawing raised over his head.
“Oh look, Caramel, the bunny drew a picture!” the filly smiled. “A good one, too. Where'd you learn to draw like that, bunny?”
Angel ignored her praise. Instead he pointed to himself, lifted a paw to his eyes and peered about as if scanning his surroundings, then pointed toward the picture once more.
“Are you... Are you looking for this pony?” the pegasus asked. Angel nodded happily. She leaned in and narrowed her eyes in thought. “Hey, you know what? Doesn't he look familiar, with those big eyes and the mane like that? That's not a manestyle you see around here very often.”
“Yeah, I think I know who you're talking about,” Caramel agreed. “I haven't seen him around for a while, though.”
The mare's eyes widened and she clapped her hooves over her muzzle. “Oh, no!” she squeaked. “Did Twilight Sparkle get to him too?”
Even his tremendous skill in charades and interprative dance weren't enough to clue them in. After a few fruitless attempts he scampered off in a huff, leaving them to their worry.
Half an hour later he was still wandering the marketplace. He held the drawing high over his head, pointing it at anypony that passed his way. He had almost given up hope of any results when a voice called out to him. “Oh, hey!” a blue-coated unicorn said as she passed by. “Is that Cappuccino?”
Angel spun and held the sketch aloft, bouncing excitedly in place. Finally, a lead!
“Yeah, I think it is!” she continued. “Brown coat, blond mane, star cutie mark?” He grinned widely as he let her know of his quest, but her smile became a frown. “Sorry, little guy, I haven't seen him for a while,” she said apologetically. “He's not really, you know, friendly most of the time.”
Angel shrugged, offered her a paw to bump, then spun and sprinted southeast, still beaming.
“Glad I could help... I think!” the mare called after him.
The bunny burst through the doors of the town hall and weaved through the legs of hurrying ponies. Mares and stallions alike squeaked as he brushed against their fetlocks. Soon his destination came into view, the same destination as earlier that morning. Applejack was still rooted the spot she'd occupied two hours prior, forging through paperwork with very little luck if the frustrated frown she wore was any indication.
He hopped from the floor to a bench and onto the table and thumped his foot a few times.
Applejack gave a start. “What in tarnation– Oh, there you are, Angel!”
He spat the scroll, by now slightly damp and wrinkled on one side, into his paw and once again began to unroll it.
“What's that, Angel?” she asked, obviously pleased to have an excuse to look away from the sheets before her. “You finish that drawing of yours?” He nodded excitedly and passed it to her.
As Applejack looked it over her eyes began to widen. She poked at it with a hoof. “I know you drew this for a reason,” she said, anticipation drawing her eyebrows up. “What is it? Where'd you see him?”
Angel pointed east.
“What's over there?” she asked. She turned from the table and cantered to the window. “The Everf–” She cut herself short with a gasp. “Fluttershy's cottage!” she exclaimed. “You telling me he was...” Applejack's eyes darkened. “Angel, is this the pony that hurt Fluttershy?” she said dangerously.
Without hesitation Angel nodded once more.
Applejack walked back to the table and slammed the picture onto it; the sound rang through the town hall, attracting the eyes and ears of everypony present. “I need more, Angel!” she said as he rolled the sketch and cradled it in his paws. “You got a name?” At his agreement she bit down on the nape of his neck and tossed him onto her back, then bolted toward the center of operations, her mane whipping at Angel's whiskers.
Citizens gathered excitedly around the earth pony. “Somepony give me names and a box of crayons!” she shouted as she slowed to a halt. Angel leaped from her back to the tabletop. “We're looking for a male pegasus.” As a few clerks began to dig through their folders and stacks she turned back to the bunny. “You know anything else about him?”
He borrowed a quill, and quickly sketched a rough star onto the pegasus's flank.
Applejack beamed at him. “We got his cutie mark!” she said confidently. “That narrows it down.”
A little box of eight crayons, a rainbow of colors with the addition of brown and black, landed on the table next to him. He pried it open and went to work, adding rough layers of yellow wax to the mane and tail.
“Now Angel, this is real important,” Applejack said. “Did you see his eyes?”
He nodded as he reached for the brown crayon.
She placed a hoof over his paw and fixed him in place with a stare. “You gotta be a hundred percent sure on this one, Angel,” she said firmly, “'cause it's gonna decide whether he's the one we're looking for or if he's just another poor soul this pony's hurt. Now, were his eyes purple?”
Angel dropped the brown crayon to the tabletop, turned back to the box, and slid free another. It was bright green.
A wicked smile split Applejack's muzzle. “Gotcha,” she hissed.
,',
The two mares rested in the shadows, or at least they lay silently; the air carried a tension that kept their break from being very restful. Rainbow was sprawled out on her back and staring up at the rocky ceiling of their hidden campsite, a little pocket worn into the side of Ghastly Gorge. The tightness in her wings and flanks would not go away no matter how many times she flew out to check their surroundings.
Twilight lay with her forehooves dangling over the edge. A shift in the ambience drew her eyes to the sky; the sun fell gently below the horizon to be replaced by its sister, the moon, mirroring an exchange Twilight knew would be taking place far to the north. In the dying light Twilight gazed into the depths of the gorge. Her eyes traveled over the canyon walls, watching the shadows play over fallen boulders and the mouths of long-abandoned quarray eel tunnels, but her thoughts paid them no mind.
She turned her head just far enough to watch Rainbow Dash out of the corner of her eye. Rainbow had been wearing that same frown since their conversation in the bog. The pegasus scratched idly at in itch hidden in her chest tuft; there wasn't much water left at the bottom of the canyon, certainly not enough to wash away the sweat and grit of the day's travels. The pegasus heaved another sigh as she sought relief.
Twilight didn't need a guidebook to figure out what was eating at Rainbow. Her ears fell back. “Trust me, Rainbow Dash,” she said quietly. Rainbow's ears and eyes swiveled toward the unicorn, but she couldn't gather the gumption to rise. “It's for the best,” Twilight continued. “I know it hurts, but when this is all over, you'll know that my decision was the right one.”
Rainbow rolled onto her side, turning her back to her unicorn. “That doesn't make it hurt any less,” she muttered.
“Look, Rainbow Dash. I don't know what else to say,” she sighed.
“You don't have to say anything else.”
Twilight wasn't so easily deterred. “If we free you from this spell and you still want to try something, then... then I'll think about it,” she offered, “but for now that option has to stay off the table. You understand, don't you?”
Rainbow rolled back, finally facing her friend though she still seemed unable to meet her eyes. “It's not about that,” she said.
“It's not?” Twilight asked, but the pegasus didn't seem as though she was simply avoiding the subject. “Then talk to me, Rainbow,” she commanded gently. She rose to her hooves and crept toward her friend, mindful of the uneven surface. “It isn't healthy to keep everything bottled up, and in our situation I think it'd be even worse. Why won't you tell me what's on your mind?”
Rainbow shrugged. “I don't want to make you mad.”
“You won't.”
“But if I do?” Rainbow insisted.
Twilight shrugged. “Then I'll talk to you about it,” she said. “We're just two normal ponies having a normal conversation.”
Rainbow shifted onto her elbows “I don't think I can be that kind of normal around you, Miss–”
“Twilight,” the unicorn interrupted firmly. “My name is Twilight.”
The ensuing silence was broken by a sharp giggle. “You want me to call you that?”
“Yes, Rainbow, I do,” she said. “I never wanted otherwise. I never was 'Miss Sparkle'.”
“I know.” Rainbow smiled uncertainly. “It's still weird, though.”
“I understand that it might be difficult to adjust to, especially since the compulsion might still drive you to do otherwise, but I know you can do it. You've called me by my name before.”
“It was an accident,” Rainbow said hastily.
Twilight placed a hoof on her shoulder. “It shouldn't have to be. Call me Twilight.”
Rainbow looked up into her eyes for a long moment. “Then can you...?”
Twilight waited patiently, but her words wouldn't come. “Can I what?”
“Can you...” Rainbow looked away and studied a hoof. “I want you to call me Dashie,” she said quietly.
Twilight barely stopped a relieved laugh from escaping. “Dashie?” she repeated. “But that's Pinkie's nickname for you. It always sounded to me like something your mom would've called you when you were a filly.”
“It is,” she admitted. “It's what my parents called me when they weren't mad at me for breaking something or getting into trouble.” She kneaded her hooves into the stone and stared off into the distance. “They only called me Rainbow Dash when I did something wrong.”
“But everypony calls you Rainbow Dash now,” Twilight pointed out.
“Yeah, well, you're not everypony,” Rainbow said simply. “I really want you to, you know, be proud of me or something. Whenever you call me that, I'll know I'm doing something right. I won't have to keep worrying about letting you down.”
“Rainbow Dash, you're not letting me down.” Twilight lay down beside her friend and pressed her shoulder to Rainbow's. “This is a terrible situation for both of us, and I know it's not easy for you but I just want you to be yourself!”
“But I've been trying to be myself all along,” Rainbow whimpered, “and you keep getting mad at me.”
“No, Rainbow, I'm not mad at you,” Twilight sighed. “I'm mad at the pony that did this to you.”
“Then you're taking it out on me,” she insisted. The words cut Twilight. “I don't want you to keep yelling at me when I'm trying to be good, okay? It hurts a lot.”
Twilight pulled her closer with a hoof around her ribs, but she couldn't meet Rainbow's eyes. She could feel it in Rainbow's tight shoulders, see it in the little dirt-filled lines on her face. She'd rarely seen Rainbow so depressed. “I'm sorry that I hurt you,” the unicorn said softly, “but some of the things you do hurt me too.”
“I don't mean to.”
“Nor do I, Rainbow Dash.” She folded her hooves in front of her and rested her chin upon them.
Rainbow followed suit. “What do I do that bothers you?” she asked. “I'll stop.”
Twilight took a deep breath as she fought with herself. Part of her wanted to spare Rainbow the truth but even discounting the hypocrisy, she knew it would only add to the tension between them.
“Well,” she began, “I don't like seeing you belittle yourself for my benefit.”
“What do you mean?”
Twilight cocked her head as she thought back. “When you said those things in the library... those things you thought I'd told you about your mind being inferior to mine... that hurt, Rainbow. I thought you'd know by now that I'd never say something so mean to you.”
“It wasn't mean, it was honest!” Rainbow disagreed.
“No, it was mean,” she said. “You're not stupid, Rainbow Dash. You might not be a scholar like me, but you are smart in your own way. You're a quick thinker, a capable strategist... Besides, you're very skilled in some aspects in which I don't excel, like handling social situations. We all have our own strengths, Rainbow, and the fact that yours are different from mine doesn't make them lesser.”
Rainbow lifted her head a little and blinked at Twilight. “You think I'm smart?”
“Yes, Rainbow,” she smiled. “You're just as smart as the rest of us.”
Rainbow smiled back. “Thanks.” The two shared a silent moment of warmth, but soon enough Rainbow had to ruin it. “Well, if that's the worst I've done, I guess I'm not doing too bad!”
Twilight shifted her limbs uncomfortably.
“Is that the worst?” she asked nervously. “What else did I do?”
Twilight shrugged. “It's too late now,” she muttered.
“It's never too late to make up for your mistakes,” Rainbow countered.
Twilight had no reply to that. Left with no other choice, she turned her head away and spoke. “To be honest, Rainbow, you said a lot of things that hurt me over the last few days.”
“Like what?” Rainbow asked innocently.
Twilight frowned. “Rainbow, you managed to convince everypony in town that I was an evil sadist determined to spread my influence over the world. I know it's what you remember, but if you really think that highly of me, why didn't you believe me when I said it was all a lie?”
Rainbow's lips tightened for a moment. “I didn't know you were telling the truth,” she mumbled. “I thought you were just tricking the girls.”
“And you let me!” Twilight barked. Rainbow blanched at the sudden explosion of noise. “Don't you see what kind of pony this potion has turned you into? You're putting the desires of a fictional parody of me before your well-being or that of all of Equestria!”
Rainbow drew her head as far back as she could. “But I did it for you!”
“No, you did it for the pony you thought I was,” she muttered. “You didn't care about my feelings, just 'Miss Sparkle's'. You wanted her to be real. You chose 'Miss Sparkle' over me, Rainbow – everypony did! – and that... that is the worst...”
Her voice broke and with it a dam broke within her, flooding her eyes with tears she didn't know she still had to spare. Her throat tightened until it hurt; her cheeks tightened her lips into a teeth-baring grimace. “My friends abandoned me!”
Rainbow was on her before she could blink, laying a wing and a hoof across her back and crossing Twilight's neck with her own. “I do care,” she said softly. “I'm sorry I couldn't understand. I wasn't thinking. I didn't know they'd hate you because of what you did to me. I never wanted you to lose your friends.”
“I know,” Twilight choked. “I don't... I don't blame you.”
“I just wanted everypony to be as proud of you as I was,” the pegasus explained. “Why couldn't they understand what a great thing this is?”
“They stripped you of the power to choose!” she cried. “You deserve free will!”
“I still have free will,” she countered. “I choose you.”
“You chose me because of a lie!” Now that her feelings had begun to come out, there was no stopping them. “You only like me because of the effects of this potion, but you keep acting like it's real and I'm forced to deal with your affection and politeness and sometimes I wish it was real, but I know it never will be because you are not Rainbow Dash!”
“But Miss...”
“I want the Rainbow Dash who was constantly striving to better herself, not one that's willing to lie pinned beneath the hoof of another mare! I want the Rainbow Dash who would never hurt her friends just because somepony told her to!”
“But...”
“I don't care if she feels that way about me or not,” she sobbed. “I want my old Rainbow back!”
“Twilight?”
The unicorn gasped and choked on a sob.
“I'm sorry,” Rainbow said quietly. “I'll try, okay?”
Twilight rested her cheek against Rainbow's. “You said my name,” she breathed.
“I'm gonna try to remember,” she promised. “I might mess up sometimes, but...”
“But at least you're trying,” Twilight agreed. “That is enough.”
The hoof around Twilight's shoulders began to stroke her ribs. “I don't care if we find the pony who did this to me or not,” Rainbow said eventually. “I swear, if we make it back to Ponyville, I'll fix this. I'll help you be the hero you want to be, no matter what.”
A bead of moisture slid down Twilight's cheek. She was silent for a long time before she found the words. “Thank you, Dashie.”
Rainbow's faint squeal of happiness was reward enough.
Twenty minutes later Twilight found herself alone in the waking world. She had cried herself dry onto Rainbow's shoulder for the third time in as many days and the two rested with their cheeks together and Rainbow's wing stretched over Twilight like a downy blanket. It was a welcome comfort even on a warm and still spring night.
From her place near the wall of their little crevice, Twilight couldn't see the moon. She idly wondered if it could see her. Since Pinkie Pie had been found in Ponyville it was likely that the Mayor had sent somepony else to alert the Princesses to her town's latest catastrophe; in fact, she should have done so as soon as the train from Canterlot came in. With any luck one or both of the Princesses would be in Ponyville soon, if not already, and if Princess Luna knew of her situation, perhaps she would investigate in her own way.
“Luna, walk my dreams tonight,” she whispered. Rainbow snuggled closer and sighed, contentment brightening her features more than any amount of starlight could. Twilight allowed her weight to sag against the pegasus and closed her eyes.
,',
“Sorry to keep you up so late,” Applejack apologized.
A tall and lithe white figure stepped from the back of her chariot. “The hour is no issue,” Princess Celestia assured her. “My guards and I are used to the occasional late night.”
“I and mine as well,” her navy-coated sister agreed from her own. “The night is our realm, after all. We are most eager to resolve the situation.”
The fair alicorn lit her horn and a globe of white light appeared above them, softly illuminating their surroundings. “Has Twilight been found?” she asked.
“No, Princess, she hasn't come back.”
Princess Luna's frown deepened. “We must find her immediately,” she declared. “I am no stranger to the corruption of some magics. I will not allow Twilight Sparkle to suffer the same fate.”
“Wait, Princess!” Applejack said hurriedly. “Things have changed. You're never gonna believe it, but we found out who's behind all this! He's a pegasus named Cappuccino, brown coat, yellow mane, green eyes, star-shaped cutie mark. He brews fancy coffees and teas and that. Looks like he's been branching out into potions.”
“And you know this how?” Luna asked suspiciously.
“Because Angel Bunny saw him!” Applejack grinned. “Cappuccino didn't pay him no mind 'cause he's just a bunny!”
Celestia smiled, and anypony who knew her as well as Applejack did could have seen a tension lift from her shoulders and eyebrows. “I knew my Twilight could never have done this.”
Applejack frowned. “But the thing is, Rarity doesn't know,” she said worriedly. “She went off to find Twilight and Rainbow Dash and bring them back to stand trial, but I'm worried she's gonna do something stupid. She ain't been handling it very well.”
Princess Celestia's smile fell away. “Where did she go?”
“South,” Applejack replied uncertainly. “That's all I know.”
“My stallions will search the forest,” Luna decided. “The darkness will not hinder their keen sight.”
Celestia nodded. “Until they return, Applejack, let us go to the town hall. We must wake the Mayor as well; I will need the two of you to tell me everything you know about the events of the last few days.”
“And I have two ponies and a dragon to attend to,” Luna said sadly.
“Fluttershy's in her cottage – you remember where her cottage is, right?” the farmer asked nervously. “East of town?” Luna nodded impatiently. “And Spike's in the library and Pinkie's... well, we had to move her to the prison.”
“The prison?” the alicorn said, her mouth twisting in distaste. “Has she grown violent?”
“No, she just... She keeps sneaking into ponies' houses and stealing paper and quills,” Applejack mumbled. “We didn't want her getting herself into trouble.”
Luna shook her head, spread her wings and soared off toward the prison.
She swept through the doors, scaring the living daylight out of the solitary watchmare at her post. “Where is Pinkie Pie?” she asked loudly; her nerves had gotten the better of her.
“She's the only one here right now!” the policemare replied hastily. “She's just inside. I wanted to keep a close eye on her.” The Princess nodded her thanks and turned to the door leading to the cells. The mare took a step with her. “Do you... do you want me to come with you?”
“No, thank you,” she said politely. “I would like to keep things between us until I can uncover the root cause of her condition.”
“Well, here...” The mare rounded her desk. “Take this.” She hoofed the Princess a sheet of parchment. “She'll need it.”
Luna studied it in confusion. “The page is blank,” she said.
The mare nodded sadly. “I know. You'll understand.”
Luna frowned and opened the door to the cells.
Immediately a familiar pink pony jumped into view. She wrapped her forehooves around the bars of her cell and gave her Princess a huge smile. “Hi, stranger!” she said happily. “Isn't Canterlot great?”
The Princess's brow furrowed as she closed the door. “Excuse me?”
“I'm really having a lot of fun!” Pinkie continued. Suddenly her eyes lit up and she bounced away to the opposite corner of her cell. When she returned she was balancing a steel mug on her nose. “Want some coffee?” she asked. “Donut Joe's specialty!”
The Princess wrinkled her nose. “Thank you, Pinkie Pie. That is... most gracious of you.” It certainly didn't smell like Donut Joe's. It certainly didn't smell like coffee. She pulled the proffered mug through the bars and sent it floating off toward the main door.
“Oh, I've been so busy,” Pinkie said happily. “I've met all kinds of new ponies and I've been, like, everywhere and seen everything! I have so many letters to write...” Her eyes drifted out of focus. In a flash she slammed into the bars in front of Luna's muzzle.
Luna flinched back in the face of the filly's onslaught, barely out of reach of her swiping hooves. “Calm yourself, Pinkie Pie!” the alicorn commanded, but the filly didn't hear her.
Pinkie's muzzle crinkled in determination. “Gimme!” she demanded. “Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme...” Her hoof managed to bump the corner of the blank page Luna held and knocked it out of her grasp. It quickly disappeared as Pinkie retreated with it into the recesses of her cell. Soon a crayon appeared from somewhere. “Dear... girls...” she muttered.
“Not yet, Pinkie Pie,” Luna said gently. Her magic lifted the filly from the cold stone floor and pulled her back toward the bars. Page and crayon fell from Pinkie's grasp; her eyes shifted from burning rage to confusion to quiet interest. The princess rested her forehead against the earth pony's, ignoring the icy touch of the iron bars, and closed her eyes. “Where are you?” she muttered.
Princess Luna dove in.
Well, here's chapter thirteen! I don't know where my head is at, but it sure wasn't around when I wrote this. All I can see are flaws. My friends assure me that I'm probably just being pessimistic because I've been feeling down. They haven't read it, though, so I'd appreciate it if you let me know if you spot any editing errors, plot holes, missing words, pacing issues... any mistakes. I will fix them as soon as I can. Same as usual, really, only more so.
I don't have time to reply to any comments yet either. I promised a few good friends that I'd accompany them to the lakeside for a few hours. I have to admit that being social is a pretty tall order at the moment, but I'm determined to give it a go for their sakes and my own.
Well, have a good one, everypony! I'll see you when I get back.
And then she went insane and everypony died.
THE END
Finally, we have another suspect, and a good one at that.
That's interesting. Luna being able to delve into ponies minds. It makes sense since she can enter their dreams and all. But it's a cool idea.
While reading the part of the story with Twilight and Rainbow Dash, I felt like going: *Squee*
interesting, very much so. it would seem this Pegasus is behind ALL of this. the question is, why? though I know one thing; he is doomed. the alicorns themselves involved, it is just a matter of time. still, till he is found, he could still hurt someone.
that is unles it turns out twilight really is the one......... though to be honest so far that would be a rather contrived result.
poor poinkie pie though. she got drugged like all fuck didn't she?
So it's not Rarity... not sure if I should be happy or upset about that. Even still, I can't help but feel like this ended a little too neatly. I mean... it just feels off to me. Unless Rarity is already under the effects of the potion herself, there's no good explanation for the way she acted, not so soon, at least. And the memories still bug me, I just can't see a potion implanting things like those. I mean, even in today's world we have drugs that can effect memories, helping people forget or removing emotional trauma associated with them, but... implanting entirely false ones? It sounds a little off to me still. Unless those green eyes imply he's a changeling, and thus can change into Twilight to make the memories real. Though it was specifically stated that the Changelings weren't involved early on, and then they were forgotten about. If it does turn out to be changelings, after ruling them out so easily it'll feel like a cop-out because you couldn't decide who you wanted the culprit to be that would make sense. I don't think you'd do something like that, so I'm still left wondering...
An OC stallion? That's... disappointing. I guess the changeling option's still on the table (green eyes and all) but if it really is an OC, that's gonna be a big let down.
About damn time the princesses got involved. Now this whole situation should begin to settle down.
I guess Rarity's not the culprit. Doesn't make her any less of a psychopath. This whole thing better not be resolved by a simple "I'm sorry, Twilight" BS apology. Rarity's done stuff I doubt even the Elements themselves would forgive.
CAPPUCINO! I FUCKING NAILED IT!
lol, what the hell does he have to do with any of this?
Well, I guess the mystery is starting to unravel...
And while that is certainly interesting, I can't help but feel a bit cheated as well. It felt so much more tense when it seemed as thought Twilight was the culprit (and was not aware of it herself), and each new victim drove it into greater and darker depths. This last bit brought it back up to "conventional drama"-level...
Then again, there are still plenty of loose ends that could end up making me eat my own words, such as Twilight's odd thaumatic reading experience with Rainbow Dash...
4174346 well if it is a hypnosis potion, you could implant memories
"pinkie pie, you are now in canterlot going site seeing,"
"okie... dokie... lokie"
4174259
Didn't notice anything obvious. Things are beginning to wrap up nicely, the Princesses are on the scene to prevent any further catastrophe.
Poor Pinkie, though, what the hell happened to her?
My guess is that Rarity was one of the first ones potion'd, to ensure that she went above and beyond in blaming Twilight.
im a little dissapointed its not rarity so it would shut her up but now im curious about this new suspect although i agree with 4174416 that if this is an OC im gonna be a little sad and let down
I don't see a motive.
Truthfully I thought this whole story was kind of going to be like the Criminal Minds episode Out of the Light (S6, E22). [Took me forever to find the episode. I recalled all of the details of the story, but no idea which tv show, episode name, characters, correct key words, etc.]
Overall, that was the plot I was kind of expecting to happen; with either Twilight, or Rarity, or someone out of left field to be the culprit, not this OC. I mean there still is a chance that this is another set up, another layer of some plot we have yet to recognize, really taking the "Look underneath the underneath" quite seriously. Though with what has been presented, this seems highly unlikely and much more straightforward.
Will this be disappointing? (shrugs) I don't know, we'll have to wait and see.
Best of luck, stay healthy, and update soon!
-Sky66
This is what happened: dude wanted to get in all the mane 6's panties. So he drugs as many as he can and puts something in there or whatever that makes them lead the un-potioned others south. Then, he ambushes and potionifies that rest and has his own little harem.
And, along the way, he messed with lots of ponies' minds. Such as Rarity. And others.
Potions, not even once.
THIS BASTARD'S AFTER OUR WAIFUS!!
4174416 He's more of a background pony. "Flies across the screen in Sonic Rainboom, along with Rainbow Swoop. Also appears in Hearth's Warming Eve, Hurricane Fluttershy, Too Many Pinkie Pies, and Pinkie Pride. His cutie mark is a yellow six-pronged star with four five-pronged stars surrounding it." That's the description from MLP Wiki.
So. I get it. This is quite a possible interesting lead. His unique cutie mark could lead to the confusion and his race, pegasai, could help him stay far out of sight, get the drop on AJ, Fluttershy and the rest of the ponies he is after. At first I thought he was just another pony that Twilight had hypnotized somehow. But seeing his art, I saw his green eyes are natural. So he could still be under control of another potion made by Twilight or he could be the true suspect here.
Awesome work hon.
I don't care whether Rarity was under the effects of the potion or not; I still want Twilight to have her vengeance!
Also, I think I like brainwashed Rainbow better.
4174259 Me impressed (even more), you can write emotional scenes exceedingly well too! I have high hopes for the possible relationship in the future!
I do wonder what Cappuccino's motives are...he just...kinda popped into the picture you know?
If he is guilty...that just destroyed my entire list of conspiracy theories except #34 which states "Someone else entirely". I have enough confidence in your writing skills to either smooth this out very well or go deeper into a plot.
I recall you mentioned everything is there....Just connect the dots....This is too easy. A seemingly nopony I only managed to notice once...? SUSPICIOUS.
We are all forgetting something very important...Angel. It can brainwash ponies, why not bunnies? This Cappuccino stuff is far too simple!
Something tells me that Cappuccino is not the REAL culprit:
he's probably an apprentice, henchman or brainwashed slave.
Okay, everypony, I'm back and I'm feeling fine! Let's see how long it takes me to tackle all of these comments.
The time is 9:09 AM.
4163583
Congratulations, Dark Avenger! All we needed was a bit of light research.
4163646
It's hard to tell others what you want when you can't decide yourself.
4163697
Would I lie to you? ...Don't answer that.
4164743
I'd like to think I'm more the master of... inspiring thoughtful debate.
4164848
South. Sorry if that was unclear.
I don't know what I'd do with myself if this site disappeared.
4165706
Does that seem like something a pony like Rainbow Dash would be capable of? I mean, I'll give her credit where it's due, but...
4165761
Gummy is best princess.
4165804
Why would he do that to Fluttershy?
4166026
In the case of a possession, the gender of the possessor wouldn't be apparent. By that logic it could be anypony from Chrysalis to Celestia.
4166047
A male pegasus with an espresso-brown coat and emerald eyes... It fits perfectly! Congrats, CrystalBronies!
4171276
Thanks, DiscordedDiscord. I'm sure they will.
4174270
Good question. What motive do you think he could have?
4174282
ERMAHGERD SPOILERS.
Not for another week!
4174287
One that finally makes sense, haha.
4174291
Well, if Twilight is that much better at delving than Rarity then I'm sure Luna's ability would be exponentially greater still. That doesn't mean she'd recognize the chemical compounds any more than Twilight did, but who knows?
4174314
Aww, that's great news! I'm glad I could satisfy your Twidash needs.
4174322
Oh yeah. Looks like 2+2=5.
4174346
I knew three things when I began writing this story: the victims, the culprit and the means. The rest wrote itself!
4174416
OC? Piffle! I wouldn't do that to you... well, technically speaking anyway. After all, Cappuccino's no more of an OC than Noteworthy, eh? Even Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are barely any better.
4174478
It's all part of the plan.
4174481
Thanks, Purple Melody! I'll do my best.
4174530
It's been known to implant false memories. Maybe hers are still being constructed.
4174539
That's good to hear!
To put it simply:
4174556
Then why were her eyes their usual azure blue?
4174619
I'm not a big fan of original characters either, but I do like using those that haven't been given well-defined personalities. As I told Dark Avenger, it's all part of the plan.
Oh, and stay tuned for the next chapter. I think you might enjoy it.
4175010
Well, what do we know about him? He's a male pegasus that did a bunch of horrible things to the Mane Six and ended up getting caught in the crossfire of Rarity's assault on Twilight. That's not much to work with. Just give it time.
4175213
I don't think I've seen that one. Criminal Minds is a good show, but not my usual fare. On the rare occasions I watch TV I tend to prefer things like Breaking Bad, Dexter, Doctor Who, Elfen Lied... The stories of broken characters.
I'm going to be saying this a lot until the end... It's all part of the plan!
4175369
Oh look, somepony has a possible motive...
Grab your torches and pitchforks!
4175899
Thanks! I hope that things will become apparent after the next chapter.
4176167
She left to find Twi and Rainbow at Zecora's and they had already gone. That's why she came back to the Boutique and gathered enough supplies to last her a few days.
4176533
Really? I get kinda sad whenever I write her scenes.
4177111
Thanks, Wolfcape! I'll do what I can to make the last few chapters the best they can be!
Yes he did. It's all part of the plan!
4177399
With only a few chapters left, I'm sure everything will soon become apparent!
Sweet Celestia, that took me an hour and nine minutes. It seems that I'm very easily distracted today. Well, thanks for reading! I hope to have more for you tomorrow.
4177652 too bad im answering anyway, and the answer is yes, yes you would
4177652 original character, I think, depends largely on how much effort is put into them.
I got an oc scale of sorts. Rank 1 ocs are those like Littleplip of fallout equestrian, nyx, several other characters of said fallout equestria, and the like. these are ocs given defined personalities, are designed with restraint yet creativity in both their apeparnce and origins, and are generally good additions.
Rank 2 are ocs that are slightly less distinct but still fair adage. charactes like those from the Upheaval story series work, that they are good and fair but not extremely distinct.
Rank 3 are known as the filler ocs. they are just characters used to fill in the background, often blandly designed, blandly characterized, so on.
Rank 4, known personally ot me as 'burn in hell you fucking cunt!!!!' type ocs. these are ya may sues, gary stus, villain sues, you op ocs that kill of everyone like they are babies, only succeed by making the characters retards thanks to the writers, have little personality or a grating presence, possibly lack creativity, and steal yer waifus.
This fic rocks. Imma put it somewhere in the top favorites.
I'm still going to place my bets on this somehow being Rarity's fault.
4177652 I don't like the sound of "this plan"...so sinister...Its got me totally hooked!
This Cappuccino's plan seems pretty sinister too.
Looking forward to your tomorrow!
P.S: Great to hear you're feeling fine. Lets get you feeling great ^^ <Insert extreme praise here>
4177670
I am not a liar! I may be manipulative, sadistic, a troll, a liar... but I am not a porn star!
4177693
But he technically doesn't fit your scale since I didn't make him up. ((http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_ponies/Pegasus_ponies#Cappuccino)) I'd accept the argument that I made up his personality, his goals, and everything else about him but his looks, name and apparent occupation, but the same could be said of almost any well-defined background pony.
4177715
This little thing? You're crazy! I don't know. Um... Thanks! I don't know if I deserve that, but thank you so much for the kind words. I hope the next few chapters don't change your mind!
4177798
Let's see what the next chapter will bring!
4177978
< Insert ocean of gratitude here >
4178260
Yes, let's.
I really like this story.
4178260 I have a not-so-free weekend to read this Wouldn't miss a beat of it for the world! *Twitch* The suspense is killing me.
4178260 you sure you're not? i think ive seen some of you work
4177652
No one ever said you can't brew a mind control potion that doesn't change your eye color...
So the culprit is a random background pony...
*holds head in hands* I swear, Adda le Blue, you better have a good fucking explanation for this! Seriously, what could possibly be a good motive for this guy trying to control the minds of the Mane 6 and framing Twilight for the whole thing?
I hope to be eating these words once this story updates. Good day.
How could you use brown body paint, bleach and a butt sticker, Rarity?! Framing poor innocent Cappucino for your heinous crimes! You monster!
I'm favouriting this for a read later. I'm going to give this a chance
Look, everypony! tehmisiu made a thing!
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/093/5/8/adda_le_blue_by_tehursus-d7cw59n.png
Like the new avatar? I sure do! I can't believe some of you like this story enough to be inspired to such lengths. I never expected to receive this kind of attention. Well, I guess I'll just have to show you all my appreciation by working extra-hard to get the next chapter out in time!
4178264
You know, I had a reply typed out in which I apologized for the possibility of missing the deadline, but now I'm determined to finish it in time! I'll see you sometime tomorrow.
4178291
Nooo, don't die! If all goes according to plan, we're counting down to the eighth. Wish me luck!
4178306
i1.ytimg.com/vi/PgmXy-CqXP0/mqdefault.jpg
4178319
That's true.
4178885
It's all part of the plan!
4178988
Not to mention forcing Twilight to give her another pair of butterfly wings, forcing her to forget that it ever happened, applying glue and feathers to them, and learning how to speak like a stallion. All that effort, and for what?
4179131
I hope it's worth your time! Let me know what you think of it.
4178319
This. SO this.
4178885
If it actually turns out to be Cappuccino, I'd bet it has to do with his Twilightesque cutie mark.
A funny twist to the plan would be if Cappuccino and Twilight switched bodies or appearances, Twilight was apprehended, and Cappuccino became the Princess' rightful apprentice.
As it always should have been.
4178260
I see what you did there. And you do deserve it. Depending on the last chapters, this fic is going on my user page, to be viewed by all two of my most loyal followers.
4179211 Good luck!
4177652
Having a potion that makes the eyes of the drinker turn violet is useful in painting Twilight suspiciously, but it wouldn't be very helpful if the pony primarily responsible for blaming Twilight was blatantly under a compulsion. In addition, if all of Twilight's friends had stood by her, which would be a reasonable expectation for our villain, she wouldn't be in nearly as precarious a position.
4180262
I just realized I'd forgotten to add myself to that list! Consider it done.
4181072
Ohohoho... I'm gonna need it. This one is much more difficult to write than I'd expected, but it's going to be so worth it. I guess I should move from 'safe mode with networking' to 'safe mode' without, because I just know I'm going to keep getting distracted otherwise! See you when chapter fourteen is ready!
4182007
That would indeed be helpful. If he didn't force Rarity to act like this, Cappuccino was taking quite a gamble. Well... He would have been if it wasn't Rarity he was banking on, anyway.
4182362
Let me know what you think when you reach the end of what I've posted so far.
4182674
Is that foreshadowing I see? Anyway, I think the main reason I jumped on the "Rarity was mind-controlled" idea was because it gives her a way out after being such a shit. On a side note, it seems like you're reading and responding to all of the comments posted here, which is cool and impressive.
4182699
Pretty damn impressive.
4182674
Nice avatar!
4182820
Lavender Unicorn Syndrome
4182674 The comments you'll have to reply too will pile up!
By the way, I just wanted to note that as horrible Rarity is being, if the case happens to be that she isn't under a spell/potion herself, you wouldn't change your planned outcome for her. A lot of the previous comments I read involve something horrible happening to her. I'd just like to see how you pull it through, I have confidence in your writing skills (+etc) so I'd rather you stick to the original, intended end for Rarity. (Of course in my opinion she doesn't deserve easy-forgiveness haha...but I would really be mildly disappointed if whatever you planned for her changed due to your reader's pressure and preference).
I think I'll place a period...right about here. Better not add to much to that pile I mentioned earlier.
This story has been shaping up well these last few chapters. Ever since you've been using names over vague / not well put descriptions. All in all this is a good story. I'm glad with how this has been panning out and I can't wait to see what you do next.
4182954
Writing Guide: Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. That's what I was talking about. Didn't know about that story. Is that the fic that gave birth to the name of the Syndrome / writing problem?
4183106
Ah, no, it's not the origin of the term; it's a story that pokes fun at both stories that have severe LUS and the people who oppose descriptive substitution for names completely, in what I feel is a rather clever manner. Also, it's just plain hilarious. I felt it was relevant as it is the most egregious use of LUS that I've seen, though I think its relevance was secondary to its entertainment when I linked it.
Okay, I'm tackling these before I post the next chapter, but by the time you read this it will be up! Let's see...
4182827
They think they have enough evidence. Not enough to convict her, but enough to want to keep her off of the streets until she can stand trial.
As for the Mayor, as you can gather from her initial reaction upon entering the interrogation room, she doesn't respect Rarity enough to change her mind like that solely because she says to. It was mostly Applejack's testimony. First, AJ is known to be one of the most honest, dependable, and clear-headed ponies in Ponyville; second, we've seen Mayor Mare fangirl over her so many times that I think she's harboring a crush... I'd ship it.
Trust me, Sky_Wolf, you are not alone with this kind of thinking. Just ask anypony else in this comments section! Speaking of which, I think you might like chapter fourteen... And you might hate it too. It all depends on your point of view.
I'm sorry I moved you to violence, though. I hope your night gets a little less stressful. You can come back whenever you're ready, or if you'd prefer to skip this one I'll understand. Best wishes either way!
4182699
Nothing I say is ever foreshadowing. Well, except for that one time I said something really vague about the chapter coming after, and the billions of times I've said 'it's all part of the plan' and stuff. Don't look into my words! I'm a trickster and a bitch!
I do my best to keep in touch with you guys. I could pretend it's all so I can get feedback and keep improving, but really, I just like you. You've all been very pleasant and I have a lot of fun discussing things with you. Besides, I couldn't have done this without you!
Also, LUS looks like a fantastic story! I'll have to add it to my ever-growing list of Things to See After 'Miss Sparkle' Finally Ends.
Ah, chapter six. How I loathe that one. I had no end of trouble with it, and the mess of descriptors and pronouns has haunted me since the day I posted it. I'm happy to see that you think I've improved since then, because I agree wholeheartedly!
Seriously, though, is my case of LUS all anypony wants to point out? Come on, everypony, let's be honest. My prose was just as purple as my unicorns back then! I plan to fix both problems - especially chapter six - between finishing the story and submitting it to the contest judges. You might be pleased to know that I already fixed a good bit of the LUS - especially in poor Rarity's case - on my Open Office documents and marked them for later alterations.
4182869
Pish-tush! Piffle and pshaw! You ponies are too nice to me.
Thanks! tehmisiu made it for me ((http://tehursus.deviantart.com/art/Adda-Le-Blue-444918443)) and I love it to pieces! I think it fits me very well, don't you?
4183014
Luckily it didn't get too bad while I was busy. I'm dreading the laundry list I'll have by noon tomorrow, though! Not that I dread hanging out and chatting with you all, but it can take me over an hour just to go through all of these comments!
Don't worry about that, hon! I could never change the planned outcome. It's been halfway written since I started this fic and I won't change it for anypony, not even myself.
Alright, everypony, I can't put it off any longer. Here's to chapter fourteen! Now I have a date with a bottle of birch beer and a warm bath, so I suppose I'll see you after work tomorrow. Enjoy yourselves!
Just noticed this mistake, i think you mean high over his head.
It amuses me to no end that Angel is the only one capable of doing the proper investigations necessary to figure this stuff out. Rarity, your detective skills need a lot of work.
My only question right now: who the buck is Cappuccino? Is he an OC, or a background pony I can't recall?
It should be known that I have a deep love of Princess Luna, granting her extreme respect, faith and loyalty. That being said...
If something extremely bad happens to her while she's delving Pinkie's mind, I will find and flay you.
Ahem... now then, shall we continue?
4952989
http://mylittlebrony.wikia.com/wiki/Cappuccino
images5.fanpop.com/image/polls/982000/982095_1332501823450_full.png
Well, this is certainly looking a bit better. Now to hope Rarity does not catch up just yet.