It had been an eternity since she'd been taken to the prison. The walk had been a blur; Twilight remembered nothing but crying, denial, and the warmth of the policemare's shoulder. Applejack had been there with her, possibly to give her the support of a friendly face but probably to protect the citizens of Ponyville if something had gone wrong. Twilight couldn't help but wonder if somepony had spotted her while she was being transported to her new home.
She sighed and went back to staring up at the window. The sun would soon be setting. Orange and violet rays painted the far wall of her cell with a warm glow, but no amount of warmth could remove the chill that had settled over her.
“Nopony believes me.”
Twilight rolled over in her cot. Her eyes traced the pattern of mortar and brick.
“Rarity thinks I'm a psychopath,” she muttered. “I know I'm not. I love my friends. I love them too much to try and change them, no matter how much they irritate me sometimes.”
The light on her wall faded as a cloud slid between her and the sun.
“But what if I have disassociative identity disorder?” she asked herself. “I don't think I do. I don't think there are any holes in my memory. Isn't missing time one of the symptoms of DID?”
No amount of certainty could change the facts, though. Her friends all believed she'd done it. Every detail of the spell could be placed at her hooves. The change of eye color, a signature with as much of a flourish as her own written name, bespoke a pride in her work that Twilight felt often. She was the only pony in the area strong enough to cast a spell like this without weeks of preparation, and if it had been cast upon Spike in an hour's time, who had she to blame? Could she have allowed her dark side to cast it? Could her good side have missed its obvious effects on the train ride home?
“Could I do that to my friends?”
The vast expanse of her knowledge had no answers for her.
The lock on her cell door clacked open as somepony entered, their hoofsteps quiet as a mouse. “Rarity, I presume?” Twilight muttered.
“Miss Sparkle, hurry!” a friendly voice rasped.
Twilight leaped upright and spun to find Rainbow Dash standing just inside the doorway, holding a key ring in her teeth and casting nervous glances behind her. “Rainbow Dash?!” she said incredulously. “How?”
The pegasus shook her head, sending her already mussed mane into further disarray. “You've got to get out of here now!”
“But...”
“Please, Miss Sparkle,” she whimpered. “You're next!”
The unicorn took a few hesitant steps toward the door. “But they'll catch us,” Twilight said uncertainly. “I can't leave now. It'd look suspicious!”
“So would a confession,” Rainbow argued. “Nopony will notice if your eyes change color. Come on!”
Startled by her boldness, Twilight looked carefully into her eyes. Left and right still differed; her violet hue still balanced the pink. “Who told you to free me?” she said quietly.
“Celestia dammit, Miss Sparkle, I'm trying to keep you safe!” she said as loudly as she dared. “I just went to Fluttershy's cottage. She's like Spike.”
Twilight's eyes widened. “What happened?”
“I don't know, but it wasn't you,” Rainbow admitted. “I think they're gonna come after you next. What they did to Fluttershy was... It wasn't pretty,” she said finally. “I think they're getting cocky. That means they're gonna do something big, and I just know they're gonna come after you while you're stuck in here. That means we have to get out of here, and fast!”
“Rainbow, I can't!”
Her pegasus squeezed her eyes shut and took a shaky breath. “Miss Sparkle. I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you. You said it's not you doing this. I believe you! Okay, so you didn't cast this spell on me and I'm just a sucker. I don't care. All I know is, right now I love you so feathering much and I want you to be safe, okay? I'm gonna find out who did this before they get to you, but I can't do it alone.” She stretched a hoof toward Miss Sparkle. “Please. Come with me.”
Twilight stared slack-jawed at Rainbow's hoof. “You're sure?” she asked quietly.
Rainbow nodded.
The unicorn spared the window one last glance and took her hoof. “Promise me it'll be okay,” she begged.
“I promise, Miss Sparkle,” she smiled. “Everything is gonna be fine.”
Together the two girls left.
Rainbow ducked low as she walked Twilight up the hallway, past cell after empty cell. “Why don't prisons have back doors?” Rainbow complained in a whisper.
Twilight's eyes darted from side to side as the two crawled. “I don't know, so ponies can't escape them so easily?”
Rainbow stretched upward to deposit the key ring on a hook by the door. “Sneaking in was hard enough,” she complained. “Sneaking out's gonna be impossible. Have you tried to teleport?”
“I don't have to try it. I know exactly what would happen,” she whispered. “Every prison in Canterlot is embued with wards to detect teleportation, conjuration, and other magical means of travel. Anypony who tried would set off the alarms and have every policepony in Canterlot on them in seconds.”
Rainbow gave her a look. “This is Ponyville,” she said. “This isn't a unicorn town. Besides, how many unicorns do we have here that can teleport?”
“Um...”
“I can count them on one hoof,” she smiled. “Well, not counting Pumpkin Cake, but she's a baby. Trust me, Miss Sparkle. There aren't gonna be any wards.”
“I don't know,” Twilight said hesitantly. “I'd prefer not to risk it.”
“Well, if you're sure, then we'll just have to do it the hard way.” She pushed the door open just wide enough for them to peer through the crack.
The room was rather open; a couple of desks and a few cubicles didn't grant Rainbow and Twilight many hiding places. “How are we supposed to reach the door?” Twilight hissed.
“I just kinda flew in,” Rainbow shrugged. “There's only one pony here and he kept turning his back on me.”
A great white muzzle appeared in the crack. Rarity's eyes grew as wide as saucers. Her lip drew back as her horn lit up.
“Twilight Sparkle!”
Twilight tackled Rainbow and disappeared with her into the ether.
They fell to the ground in a tangle beside the prison wall. “Rainbow Dash, you'd better hope you're right!” Twilight stammered.
“Um...” Rainbow fidgeted. “Hi there.”
Twilight looked down at her. Rainbow was pinned belly-up beneath her unicorn. Her cheeks were red as roses.
“Sorry!” Twi exclaimed. She clambered to her hooves and pulled the pegasus up with her. “Sorry. Let's keep moving.”
Rainbow just gave her a goofy, toothy grin. “Okay.”
“Where are you?” she heard a shrill voice howl from the opposite side of the building. “You can't hide from me!”
That killed her mood. “Up on the roof,” Rainbow urged her.
Twilight pressed her shoulder to her friend's and concentrated, and with a puff of vapor the two were standing atop the prison. The view of the town spread below them, shining in the dying light, would have been breathtaking on any other occasion but all Twilight could see were places to hide.
“No... No... Too obvious, no...” She trembled as Rarity's voice reached them once more.
“Don't worry, Miss Sparkle,” Rainbow assured her. She threw a hoof around Twilight's shoulder. “We're leagues ahead of her. Come on, there's no time to lose!”
Twilight chuckled in disbelief. “Why are you so bossy all of a sudden?”
Rainbow drew back hastily. “Sorry!” she muttered, scratching the back of her head with a hoof. “I dunno, it just... I just... You needed help, and I thought...”
Twilight forced a smile for her. “Don't worry, Rainbow,” she said. “It's a good sign. Maybe the spell is wearing off.”
The pegasus gave her an uncertain grin. “Maybe. I don't feel any different.”
“You're right about one thing, though,” Twilight said. “We don't have long before Rarity's search turns into a city-wide ponyhunt. We have to act fast if we're going to learn anything.”
“Maybe somepony's seen something,” Rainbow suggested. “Pinkie ended up leaving for Canterlot before she asked around. Should I fly us to the marketplace?”
“We can't risk it.” She climbed gingerly onto Rainbow's back, still surprised that the little pegasus could support her weight. “Besides, I have something more important in mind.”
Rainbow cocked a quizzical eyebrow at her. “What's that?”
Twilight grimaced. “Just promise me you won't hate me afterward.”
,',
The door slammed open for the third time that day. “Fluttershy!” Rarity called. “Fluttershy, where are you?”
She didn't answer.
The ground floor of her cottage was full of creatures that milled about aimlessly or stood and stared off into the distance. Gone was their usual carefree vigor. The air was thick with musk, tea and urine.
Rarity's eyes pinched at the corners, giving her the illusion of crow's feet years too early. “Fluttershy?” she whimpered. “Oh, please, please tell me I'm not too late...”
One by one her friend's critters gathered around her, looking up at her expectantly or with fear in their eyes.
“What happened?” she asked.
A thumping drew her attention to Angel Bunny, who stood at the foot of the stairs wearing the grim mask of death. He pointed up to the second floor.
Rarity brushed past him and took each step delicately. “Fluttershy, dear?” she called. “It's me. I'm here.” Every creak her weight illicited from the old wooden stairs sent shivers down her legs. “Are you alright? What has she done to you?”
She reached the bedroom on the second floor. “I'm...” The room was empty. Even the bed was bare, her friend's few pillows and blankets torn from it and stashed out of sight. Her casually-organized desk was a mess of spilled ink and perfumes and most of its clutter had fallen to the floor. “Fluttershy, are you alright?” she called. “Are you in here?”
The empty bed began to hyperventilate.
“Are you...?” She knelt down and placed her right ear to the floor. The bed blocked the light from both the window and the single candle, leaving anything below hidden in the blackness. Rarity lifted the candle from its holder and placed it sideways on the floor, already regretting her decision before the first melted wax hit the wooden floor. “Fluttershy?”
She found the pillows and blankets. They were mounded up beneath the bed. Rarity reached in and tugged at the throw pillow. “Why in Equestria...”
The cushion came free and a sheet came with it, revealing the source of the noise. A pair of tearful violet eyes peered out at Rarity from behind the wall of padding.
Rarity sagged to the floor, every ounce of her spirit leaving her in a rush. “Oh, Fluttershy,” she sighed. “How could she do this to you of all ponies?”
The pegasus carefully gripped a pillow in her teeth and tried to block the gap in her defenses; Rarity reached a delicate hoof in and pushed it away. Fluttershy looked at her with such hurt in her eyes and began to let a high-pitched, endless whine into the air.
“Rarity's here, honey,” she said tenderly. “Tell me what's wrong.”
The eyes stared unblinking and the keening continued.
“Please?” She reached out a hoof to touch the pegasus, who shrank even further away. “Please, Fluttershy. Talk to me. Talk to Rarity.”
There was no reply.
Rarity blinked away her tears and pulled her head out from under the bed. She glanced around for a moment before she found it amidst the clutter.
Slowly Rarity ducked underneath the bed. “Okay, dea–”
The pillow had been pushed back into place.
Rarity bit back a sigh and pushed it free again. “Okay, dear,” she said again. She slid a wrinkled pad and the sharp end of a pencil through the gap. “Could you write it down for me, please?” she asked.
Those eyes finally looked away to the intruding objects. After a long minute of hesitation Fluttershy reached forward to grip the broken end of the pencil in her teeth, but her eyes returned to Rarity and her teeth began to chatter so violently that she dropped it.
Rarity sighed in defeat and pulled herself out from under the bed again. “I'm here, Fluttershy,” she said sadly. “Whenever you want to talk about it, I'll be here.”
She waited outside her friend's little fortress, her body still but her mind racing...
Twilight had escaped from prison. Twenty minutes later Rarity had left the station to warn her friend and... and she was too late. Twenty minutes! Had she been wrong? Had she underestimated Twilight Sparkle's abilities once again? It wouldn't surprise her. She had to be the Princess's personal student for a reason.
Her ear twitched as it caught a new sound, a faint scratching. Rarity smiled to herself as she listened to the slow and careful strokes of pencil on pad. Whatever it is, she thought proudly, Twilight will not get away with what she's done. Fluttershy is a stronger mare than she could know.
Suddenly the writing stopped, replaced by another shrill whine more soulful than the last. Rarity immediately dropped to the floor and peered in at her friend. “What is it, Fluttershy?” she asked quietly. “Are you finished?”
Fluttershy plugged the hole between them.
Unsure whether to groan or weep, Rarity tugged a few pillows free and tossed them onto the bed. “Can I see it?” she asked.
Fluttershy shook her head violently. Her hooves shook as she held the pad to her chest.
“Please?” Rarity insisted, but there was no reasoning with her. She sighed and lit up her horn. Bathed in the glow of Rarity's magic Fluttershy began to screech and writhe. “It's for your own good,” Rarity insisted. She tugged gently at the pad. “It'll be alright, I promise. I'm just going to borrow this for a little while, alright?” She finally managed to pry it free. The screech became a wail as the pad floated into Rarity's hooves, and Fluttershy forgot herself enough to crawl forward and swipe at it with both hooves.
“Wait, please!” Rarity admonished. She turned her eyes to the pad. The letters were faint and shaky but just legible:
go away
too scary
I don't want my
friends to
The unicorn dropped the pad to the floor, where it immediately disappeared into Fluttershy's grip before she retreated to her fortress on the wall. With the pad and her secret safe, her wailing subsided to huffing, sniffling whine.
Rarity followed the pad to the floor and met her friend's violet eyes with her own. “She won't get you, Fluttershy,” Rarity said determinedly. “I'll make sure of it.” She slid her hooves in and pulled herself under the bed, ignoring the cries of protest. Her hooves and horn cleared away the pitiful leftovers of Fluttershy's wall and Rarity crawled closer to her. “You have nothing to fear.” She reached out a hoof and wrapped it around her friend's withers, then placed the other on her chest. Fluttershy's heart was racing faster than Rainbow Dash at a relay. Rarity cuddled closer and sighed into her fur. “You're safe with me, Fluttershy,” she cooed. Her voice cracked. “You're safe with Rarity.”
The pegasus under the bed trembled and whined.
,',
Rainbow choked and spat out the last of it. “Please,” she moaned. “Miss Sparkle, please...”
“I can't!” The light of Twilight's magic held aloft a long printout from her most infamous machine.
Rainbow stood in its center, all four hooves ensnared in sensor-filled sleeves. A needle had been poked into one of her cannons. A cap full of wires, electrodes and LEDs flickered fitfully as it tried to process the magical signatures found within the pegasus's body and mind. Her cheeks were matted with salt, her chest tuft was matted with vomit, and her brow was deeply furrowed.
The pegasus cried out in agony. “I can't take it anymore!” she wept. “My head's gonna split open!”
“It won't,” her friend assured her. “It's purely psychological.”
“It still hurts like a kick under the tail!” she wailed.
“It will fade.” Her eyes scanned the symbols and numbers flowing past. “I promise it will. We're almost done.”
Rainbow groaned pitifully and her stomach heaved. A string of drool trailed from her chin to her chest.
Twilight lifted a rag to her friend's chin. “Almost done, almost done,” she said softly. “Just a little bit longer...”
A metallic chime sounded throughout the basement. Twilight rushed to pull the needle from Rainbow's foreleg and the cap from her head. “That's it!” Twilight said proudly. “All done!”
Rainbow let her head fall onto her heaving chest, too weak to support herself. “This had better give you some answers,” she muttered weakly.
Twilight pressed a button to unlock her friend's limbs and caught her with her forehooves on the way down. “Easy, Dashie,” she said softly. “Easy does–”
Rainbow retched up some more bile onto her shoulder and coughed loudly. “Everything's dark...”
She fetched the rag from its place at the base of the machine and floated it to its bucket and back. “It will fade,” she promised as she cleaned herself.
“When?”
“I don't know,” she admitted. “Soon.” She laid the pegasus gently on the floor and lifted the far end of the paper to her muzzle. “In the meantime I'll try to figure out what's causing your condition.”
“Sure it wasn't you?” her pegasus asked faintly.
Twilight's eyes roved over the printout, a jumble of numbers and letters with the lines representing Rainbow's vitals in its center. Her body temperature and blood pressure were understandably high, her resperation rate erratic and her pulse rate through the roof. She could place the blame on the inexplicable pain she'd endured during the test. The rest, though...
Quill and inkpot floated to her side and Twilight began to draw a map of Rainbow's condition. She circled numbers and groups of symbols, connecting some with lines and marking others with tiny, abbreviated descriptions. “Overactive substantia nigra, zona incerta and ventral tegmental area,” she muttered to herself. “Extraordinary levels of dopamine production...”
Rainbow's breathing began to slow.
“What's happening in the nucleus accumbens?” she muttered to herself. “The numbers shouldn't be this varied.” She circled the group, labeled it with a question mark and moved on.
“Tw... Miss Sparkle,” Rainbow said weakly. “I'm starting to feel better.”
“Good,” she said distractedly. “I told you it wouldn't last long.”
The pegasus climbed to her hooves. “I'm sorry I couldn't do this yesterday morning. It would have made things a lot easier, huh?”
Twilight snorted. “Hindsight always sees furthest, Rainbow... What is this?”
Rainbow took a few shaky steps toward Twilight, each sturdier than the last. “What's what?” she asked.
“These indicators,” Twilight said with a smile. She pointed her quill at a long section of the parchment that was packed on one side with letters and numbers in an unexpected pattern. “I've never seen them before!” She began to circle the entire group.
“What does that mean?”
“This is your bloodwork, specifically, your tox screen.” She labeled it and began to circle any unfamiliar variables. “It's full of variables I don't recognize!”
Rainbow studied the numbers and letters without comprehending a thing. “Miss Sparkle, are you saying I've been poisoned?”
“We were so caught up in finding a spellcaster that we forgot about any other possibilities. Rainbow Dash, I think this is the work of a potion after all!” She looked at her friend in jubilation. “That means no hours or days of casting and an easy cleanup. It could have been practically anypony!”
Rainbow smiled uncertainly. “Does that mean it couldn't have been you?”
“No,” she admitted. “I don't think that would make or break my case, but I think my arguments would hold more water than Rarity's anyway.” She tore the far end of her printout loose from the machine, flicked the power switch and began to roll the paper into a tight, fat bundle. “We need to get this to Mayor Mare.” Satisfied, she pulled an empty saddlebag from the corner and sped toward the stairs. Rainbow blinked away the last of her headache and kept up with ease.
“Do you think Rarity would have told anypony about us?” Twilight asked.
“I dunno,” Rainbow said helpfully.
They crept into the sunlight. There was no sign of Rarity's supposed ponyhunt. Together they stepped from the front stoop to the square.
A bolt to the shoulder knocked Twilight onto her back.
Rarity stampeded toward them, eyes wide and mane tossing in the wind. “I will destroy you for what you did to her!” she shrieked.
Rainbow zipped past to sweep Rarity up in an aerial tackle and slam her into the wall of the building opposite. A blast of blue magic pushed her away to face the wrath of Rarity's swift kicks. “Run!” she screamed.
“Wait, Rarity! Stop!” Twilight begged. “Listen to me!”
Her friend smashed a hoof into Rainbow's knee and jabbed another between her shoulders.
“Stop!”
She lunged over the pegasus, grinding a hoof into her spine on the way past. “First Spike, and now Fluttershy?” she growled.
“Wait...” Rainbow pushed herself to her hooves, but too slowly.
Her horn began to gather the last of the day's light. “You should never have touched her.”
“Twilight, run!”
Twilight ran.
Okay, there's the new chapter! I'm in desperate need of a break. I'll be back to weather the storm soon.
me thinks it is rarity, mainly cause i dont like her and another cause she is probably the only pony in ponyville who would adress somepony as "Miss" or "Mr" also she is obsessed with the perfect gentlecolt
Ahhhhh, SHIET! Things are definetly happening now! Now that Twilight is confirmed innocent (almost), I can start thinking about who it could be.
YAY, keep up the good work, I do feel like the end is getting closer sadly though :(
More proof that Rarity did it; how in the hay did AJ break the.. well, I guess now we know poison, when no pony else could? She was with Rarity, and the most convenient thing, for Rarity, would be to have AJ on her side, which she would be if the poison was cleared from her system and she only remembered certain things.
Yeah, Rarity did it. Maybe she's the one with DID, she gets just as stressed as Twilight and these violent tendencies she is clearly displaying are pretty suspicious. And if AJ broke out, why wouldn't she even try to free the others from this poison? Oh wait, because if they were out they would remember that she did it. The only reason it was safe for AJ to be released was because she was drunk and thus her mind was easier to meld with false memories to fill in the black spots caused by the alcohol.
Maybe I'm only this convinced because I already didn't like Rarity but... well, I can't help but feel its almost to obvious at this point. I mean really. If Twilight did it, why the hay would she do AJ? AJ was on her side! Rarity would have every reason to do it, though.
Yeah, I gotta go with Rarity having DID.
ponders........... zecora? she is the most talented potion maker known in equestrian. no motive though.
if it is some kind of magical toxin that is causing this, then that means that it could be the effect is temporary too. once it pasts through their system they would regain themselves. that and some antitoxin if they can figure out how it was made.
.......... having a hard time believing rarity's reaction. if there is anyone that would lose herself to pur violence, it would be rainbow dash. loyalty often leads to one trying to protect another. and sometimes they can go to far in their devotion.
i still think its rarity someone really needs to slap a bitch
4142212 Rarity poked in RD's head. Of course she can do stuff to her. All that studying she's doing is to cover up her tracks and also possibly to shift the blame to Twilight with much more ease!
Well, this is all speculation.
"Last three chapters"? Oh, its closing soon?
As much as I'd love to find out what is going on, I do hate drawing things to an end...
Please be a satisfying ending!
This is the most-regularly-updated-and-totally-immersive story I've had for awhile...I'd throw more compliments at the story-so-far but unfortunately my vocabulary doesn't seem to go to the extent of what I have in mind. Still, good to know, right? XD
Edit : Given just-read chapter, (Chapter 2)...could Zecora be at work?
A potion? Obviously it's Applebloom, then.
Rarity was probably infected early on to make her crazy and certain that Twilight was guilty. Rainbow Dash is now trying to get Twilight caught which is SO OBVIOUS that even Twilight saw it, but escaped anyway. :face hoof:
Being alone in a room you were supposedly locked in with an open door and Rainbow Dash didn't convince anyone the last time, I guess.
And the "Rarity is a horrible pony" trend continues.
What bugs me is that Rarity is such a problem. Twilight should have no problem flattening her, even sticking to no lethal stuff. Why keep running?
4143144 rarity is pretty damn skilled as a unicorn. twilight would have to get reall,y really serious against her.
Sweet Celestia, that was intense
Great one (as always).
It's all so clear now. Only one being could do something this monstrous.
The real culprit is... !
4143144
I think Twilight doesn't want to hurt her
The people in the "Rarity is a bitch" clearly have never experienced one of their friends and/or loved ones being attacked by something or someone (or will never admit to have done so). Of course you're going to be hysterical, and if a possible culprit emerges, then of course you're going to start jumping to conclusions. That alone does not make you a "bitch"...
I'm also fairly certain it wasn't her, or Twilight either...
I still think Twilight did it... :/
This story is not helping Rarity move up on the list of Best Pony.
4143377
Now that magic can be ruled out, Pinkie, Applejack, and Applebloom all look eerily suspicious... Let us find out who it is!
4143147
Who needs to take the opponents skill into consideration when you can just evaporate them with a blast?
so Pinkie Still hasn't returned and a potion could be the cause? IS Pinkamena roaming around!?
4143556 good point. that is why she needs to be careful. she is not capable of doing that.
To be honest, I don't think it's Rarity. For starters, at this point it would be too dang obvious. I really think that Rarity's just being her typical overreacting self and...well, overreacting to the situation.
Sweet Celestia, that was too much of a break!
Just... Just look at them all.
Thanks! I guess I'll get started.
4143103
Still hatin' on Rarity?
...
4142972
4143085
4143012
Eeyup, still hatin' on Rarity.
4142986
Oh, yes. The proverbial shit has hit the metaphorical fan!
4142991
Thanks! I'll try my best. Well, we're in the home stretch. I'm going to have all kinds of mixed emotions when this is over!
4143012
Note the differences in AJ's experience with the potion compared to the other three victims. Also note that AJ is a badass.
4143018
Judging by Rarity's rant near the end of her meeting with Mayor Mare, I'd say she has loyalty and devotion to spare. Combine that with her generosity - her willingness to take a hit to see another prosper - and you have the perfect martyr, somepony who would be more than willing to sacrifice herself for her friends, her town, or for unicorns everywhere.
4143086
I skipped ahead a little further than it sounds. I plan for this second arc to be another of eight chapters, but if I don't have room to squeeze it into the eighth chapter I'll have a separate one for the epilogue.
Thanks for your praise! I'm glad to hear it's that immersive. I tried my best! I've been putting all of my free time toward this story to stick to a rate of one chapter every two days, but I doubt the next story will come quite so smoothly.
4143091
The risk of being caught again is better than the risk of somepony worse than Rainbow sneaking into her cell and brainwashing her.
4143144 4143147 4143556 4143664
I think Twilight could best her combat with ease. Rarity might have a bit more magical dexterity, but in everything from raw power to versatility Twilight's got her beat. That said...
Does Twilight seem like the type of pony to use force to get her way? If so, then I guess you've found your culprit.
4143186
I'm glad you thought so! I was convinced that this is one of my weaker chapters. I'm getting rather depressed and I think it's starting to affect my work. Hopefully things will pick up by the time I reach the endgame.
4143240
It makes perfect sense! Look at the victims so far: Twilight Thparkle, Rainbow Dath, Thpike, Appledthack, Flutterthy... She's taking out anypony whose name she can't pronounce!
Chapter 8 spoiler: Twitht realizes the irony and commits theppuku.
Well, jeez. I kinda want to write this story now.
4143250
Thanks for keeping the faith, RainLight.
4143290
True. It can sure make you act like one, but the difference between the self and the mask one wears has been the core of this whole debate, hasn't it?
4143377
She has been conspicuously absent, though only for a day and a half.
4143412
She's probably smart enough to pull something like this off.
4143441
Well, I never! I like her because she's easily the most interesting and probably the deepest character out of all of the Mane Six. That said, even I have days when I want to kick a hole in her trachea.
4143456
Why does everypony keep bringing up Apple Bloom?
...
Ah, that explains it. I've been too busy writing to watch MLP lately. The last episode I watched was 'Pinkie Pride'. Well, in case that wasn't a facetious comment, I'll remind everypony that this story takes place before season four!
4143485
If you don't mind me saying, I think I gave some blatant, even explicit, answers in this one. I'll keep my mouth shut just in case somepony didn't catch them.
4143656
She was so helpful in the beginning! Maybe a little too helpful...
Well, damn! Is there anypony you guys won't throw under the lights?
Also, FIDDLESTICKS! Yay!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/5/1/313844__safe_animated_sprite_desktop+ponies_instrument_fiddlesticks_playing_artist-colon-botchan-dash-mlp_fiddle.gif
4143725
It sure looks that way after seeing her reaction to Fluttershy's condition.
It took me this long just to get through all of these comments! Jeez! Well, I was making some headway on chapter three at the same time, but still. That's a lot of comments. Let's see if somepony posts another before I press the 'add' button...
No?
Good, it's safe!
Maybe Rarara drank a potion too? I think someone messes with all of them. SPOILER: Spike was Jigsaw all along.
4143785 never liked her in the show, dont like her now. i find her mean to spike and really up her self (from the episodes ive seen, havent seen everyone of them)
A potion, eh? You know, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if Zecora was involved some how.
4143785
The third biggest twist right now would be if it was indeed Rarity. The second would be if it was neither her nor Twilight.
The first among all the variations of the second would be if it was Derpy all along...4143811
Rarara?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPW9ki-IfZ8#t=758
4143844
You're not wrong. She goes from ice queen to heartwarming at the drop of a hat.
4143848
What makes you say that?
4143926
That's 3, 2, and 2.1... so I'm guessing the biggest twist of all would be if it really was Twilight Sparkle?
4143785 I have my reasonings, too. We all know Twilight is capable of making potions, just because she's a unicorn doesn't mean she can't do anything besides magic. Though Twilight sounded pretty innocent, she could very well be lying. Or maybe...maybe this is a changeling impersonating her, and the real Twi is locked up somewhere!
4144076 4144171
I'm sorry if my responses aren't very satisfactory this time around. The closer we get to the endgame the more I want to say, but the less I feel I should.
4143785
The instant she becomes reasonable, I'll like her again.
4144046
Maybe...
To be honest, I still have my suspicions about her, so it wouldn't be that much of a twist. It's more interesting to be "red herring'd" (i.e "it was the last character you expected") than to go through a lengthy "twists upon twists upon twists"-process with the same characters (i.e "are they or aren't they the real villains?" for several chapters, ended with an almost arbitrary choice...)
In other words, the most surprising thing would be a villain completely separate from all of the potential ones that we've seen so far. Currently, a "mystery antagonist" has the least amount of clues pointing toward them, so I think they would have the greatest impact in terms of "OMG I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!"
On the other hand, Twilight (or even Rarity) being confirmed in the role would begin this tale's ultimate plunge into darkness... and I adore darkness...
Considering all the bullshit justice systems I've seen, I don't blame Twilight for escaping. We now have final confirmation that Twilight didn't do it (Fluttershy was mindraped while she was locked up).
That reminds me, I'm putting half the blame for this clusterfuck on Pinkie for being unable to take the situation seriously and find a way to get to the Princesses and instead goof off, and half the blame on the Princesses for almost intentionally invoking Poor Communication Kills. One would think they'd have some method of contact.
PLOT TWIST: The culprit is the country the Princesses are negotiating with. While their ambassadors stall and isolate the princesses, their special forces knock the Elements out of contention in preparation for the invasion. With Rarity going full on cunt, the Elements have sustained irreparable damage, thus allowing their plans to succeed.
4143785
Note the distinct lack of spike...
Well, I was right to place my faith in your skills. You have made things better by opening the list of suspects. You also freed Twilight and made things get a bit more intense. But any like I had for Rarity, which was very little from the last chapter, has now turned into a intense hatred. She is going to kill somepony and although she might want it to be Twilight, she might end up hitting somepony else.
I hope if Twilight ends up capturing Rarity, she does the worst she can. Rarity deserves so much punishment for the crimes she has committed.
Can't say much about this chapter. I gotta say, though, I think there was a plot hole...
Why couldn't Twilight just tell Spike to send a letter to Princess Celestia? Wasn't he supposed to obey her?
My top two suspects are Rarity and Pinkie, although I'm not really satisfied with either; they both lack a motive. I guess that's why we're in the beginning of Act Two. Whydunit?
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I agree with everything in this comment.
Except you, Applebloom.
4143664
Why can't she?
Ah, I knew good 'ole Rainbow would bust Twilight out. Now if they can just find a nice quite place away from that psychopath Rarity, they can start working on the antidote.
4146126 cause she is not THAT powerful. let alone know enough combat magic.
4144375
As to Pinkie - you're assuming that she hasn't already been mind-whammied into not contacting the princesses.
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She's the most powerful unicorn in at least a milennium, and she has no problem death raying things as seen in the show.
I think it'd be too obvious for rarity to have done it. Remember, psychopaths are often excellent liars.
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So... never? Nah, I'll stay optimistic.
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You and me both. I want to take 'Miss Sparkle' in so many different directions, one of which could be soul-crushing in the most satisfying way if I managed to do it right, but I have to stay on the path. The story demands it.
4144375
You keep mentioning bullshit fanverse justice systems as if they're a popular problem, but I've yet to see one. Care to point me in the right direction?
Yeah. Spike, mundane mail, or even a personal visit.
Ooh, cue the post-war Saddle Arabian sequel!
4144810
Good little librarians don't stay up past their bedtime! That might be a legitimate answer, and it might just be an excuse to cover up the fact that I forgot about him. I tried so hard not to, but he's so damn boring...
4145110
Yay! I'm so happy to hear that. Well, aside from the Rarity thing. She's gone positively bonkers, hasn't she?
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This is exactly why I thought about asking you for help on the second arc. You see things that others miss, including myself, and you ask questions that others don't. Honestly I only decided against it because this is a contest entry and it'd feel like cheating to ask for aid, even just from a prereader or editor.
That said...
Not exactly. Applejack was the only one who went against her baser instincts, unless you count Fluttershy's unwillingness to come out from under the bed, and her situation was different. Rainbow was made to fall madly in love with her and had her submissive side enhanced, and Spike was molded into a little businessdrake who wouldn't fight his guardian about things that were good for him, like eating his vegetables or waking up on time. He's still a child, though, with childish levels of pain tolerance and a childish need to avoid punishment. Trying to push him to work through the pain would be next to impossible.
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...If Twilight can find the time and the right books to research until she found the right potion, gather the ingredients needed for an antidote, make it back to her basement without Rarity bursting in on her, and sit through a bit of trial-and-error in the hopes that none of her failures will make Rainbow Dash sick. Alchemy is not easy!
4146408
Well, Twilight and Rarity were both busy in the library while Pinkie went off to pack her things and head to the train station.
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Even if she couldn't blow half of Rarity's face off with one blow, it'd be easy for Twilight to paralyze or stun her and finish her off with ease. I'm sure she knows enough about pony anatomy to pinpoint the nerve clusters.
4146974
That they are. If the culprit really is a psychopath, at this point it could be anypony without an alibi.
4147564
I'm optimistic that it will happen eventually.
4147564
Ah, I forgot about the plot contrivance keeping Spike from sending the letter. Sorry, it should have been obvious the brainwasher would want to, ah, "cut the phone lines."
4147564
The most famous would be The Secret Life of Rarity which depicts Rarity as a serial killer and ends with the Princesses summarily executing her a day after she's caught without a trial, jury, or appetite process--on a capitol crime no less.
Then there's My Little civil Rights Activist who's lack of a court system means Ponyville can legally discriminate males by forcing them to remain in the city and suppress their rights.
Exit Through Canterlot formerly had one where self-defense was banned due to a "zero-tolerance" policy toward violence--a policy that wasn't enforced on either Luna or the story's main character. A reader revolt caused the author to retcon it out of the story.
Banihsment punishes anyone who contacts an exile by life imprisonment.
Ascend has Equestria's High Court nearly kill Twilight to determine whether she's really an alicorn or not.
That's just a sampling.
4143785 Fear not, I would read the other stories...though I believe (and suggest) this stay on the top of your priority list before it drives me insane XD
Okay. I started writing chapter eleven just after I posted chapter ten yesterday, and until about an hour ago I absolutely hated writing it. Now I'd say I'm two-thirds of the way through it and I'm really enjoying the work! I've come to the realization that this is the same pattern as most of the chapters I've done so far: I hate it, then I get really excited about it, and then I hate it again. That's okay, though. As long as you all find the finished product satisfactory, that's enough to keep me going!
So... On to the comments.
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Yay! Somepony that doesn't want to see Rarity get brainwashed, incarcerated or viciously bludgeoned with a board with a nail in it! There's hope for you yet.
4147797
No worries. It was a logical question. I mean, you'd think that if Twilight can make Applejack hang herself in the forest, forcing Spike to send a letter would be a piece of cake, right? I suppose I'm glad you brought this up in case others were wondering the same thing.
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My mouse was in the worst possible place while reading this comment. I didn't even see the spoiler box until it was too late. Oh well, I'd already guessed how 'The Secret Life of Rarity' was going to end anyway since I've read the tagline to the sequel, so that's no big deal. I'll still read it eventually.
I didn't read 'Exit Through Canterlot' until after the retcon, but if it's as bad as everypony says - and if the other stories have a similar take on 'justice' and 'law' - then I'm not surprised you're fed up with this issue! I think the current version of that story is very good, though.
4148304
Don't worry, Wolfcape. This is the only story I'll be working on until it's finished. The other... um... twelve? I've lost count... Well, the rest of them can wait, for I have Obligations!
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Nonsense. I've been pretty vague and ambiguous for a lot of the last nine chapters, so I can't expect everypony to take my word for it when I suddenly switch things up! It's not being slow, it's being careful.
My earlier convictions that a third party is behind this are pretty much confirmed. If it's potionwork, then pretty much anyone could have done it (well, they'd still have to be fairly skilled at potionmaking). I feel that Rarity doesn't have the motive, and plus, it seems to be the case that the Elements wouldn't work for those who do not truly represent their qualities. I don't think that a psychopath, with a defining characteristic being a total lack of empathy, would qualify at all for the Elements, yet alone Generosity, which Rarity represents.
Of course, whoever is behind this has already won. Most would never forgive Rarity for what she's done, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if Twilight doesn't either, even though she essentially embodies friendship (friendship == magic).
After this story is done, I'd love to see the consequences of the events here play out further: it would be interesting to hypothesise on what it would mean for both the Mane Six and Equestria as a whole.