A dark being named Nightmare once descended upon the world and covered the world in darkness and filled it's inhabitants with fear and hatred, but was locked away in the NightmareScape thousands of years ago. Most consider this an old mare's tale, though Twilight and her friends know better then that. Will they be able to handle this new threat? Do they even know who or what they're really dealing with? Come, read and find out.
This is my first story, try to be kind with the constructive criticism. This is sorta an idea I've had for awhile now and wanted to know what others thought of it. Hope you all enjoy.
PS: I'm looking for an editor, if anyone's interested.
Chapters (1)
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Thanks for the criticism, this is one of my first fanfics ever (my actual first was a Phineas and Ferb one, but that's neither here nor there) and I'm wondering whether or not I can write one cause I'm use to writing characters who I've created personally in a world that already exists (I'm a role player). My idea was to make the first chapter kinda short and cliched cause I wanted to know how well I could write a first chapter, which I suppose I did well enough. I do have bigger plans for this fic, so I hope everyone else will join me for the ride.
I do agree with Super about the fact that the type of story is a bit cliche. To me it seems that the main character, who I am guessing will be Twilight, is saving the world again. Yet 9 time out of 10, it will catch an eye or two because some people are curious to see what a writer will come up with. The grammar is also agreeable. The only thing I really noticed is the place that you put the "End of Flashback". I feel that readers would have a better time of it if it was before where it states "Back in the present".
I know how you feel with this being your first. I am currently working on my first as well. Mostly, I just type what comes to me. I type what feels right. My editor then re-does it to make it better while still keeping my story. If anyone gives you a bad time, don't delete the message or try to make them feel bad. that just means that your proving their point. keep the messages on and it will show that you don't care what they think, your happy with your story.
if you want to know how i have done, read my story. you will tell the difference between on your own and having an editor or a proofreader. you don't have to have one, but i would recommend one.
but other than all that, i have hopes for this. over the near hundred stories i have read, i actually see some originality in this. keep up the amazing work. i will be watching this story.
https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/t1/p403x403/1798439_458329977627134_315573040_n.jpg
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To be honest, whether in this fandom or not, what isn't as cliche as a simple battle with what we might think is evil or against some opposing force?
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well, whether it seems cliche or not, it has a lot of originality to it.