As with chapter 3, this was a guest chapter. The author was Rustle My Jimmies, give him a follow if you love clop that makes you go "Oh god, why is this turning me on!?"
Have you ever did a costume-style transformation, where a group of mlp fans find MLP costumes, and upon putting them on, take on the attributes of the Mane 6?
Like, one guy gets an Applejack costume, and when he wears it (including the hat) he ends up as the orange earth pony farmer.
What about the Cutie Mark Crusaders? Being younger, I would say having a trio of grown men become little fillies and have to go to school and deal with their pony family members (from the costumed MLP'ers would be interesting to say the least.
Time for more of my thoughts! Hey, people other than Twisted Spectrum, this is full of spoilers!
Big Mac Looks for Love Aww, that was sweet! Now, I'm not sure I quite believe how the protagonist's relationship develops. There seem to be some missing links, particularly when going from "I'm not gay" to playing with Big Mac's cock the first time. I also don't think anyone would react to "I lied, I'm turning you into a pony so we can haz more stallions and I can bang you" with "OMFG squeeeee! I love you!"
I still liked the chapter, and in general it was well-written (barring a couple of missing words already pointed out and a few odd choices of punctuation). The sex details are interesting despite my general lack of interest in M/M, so well done on that; and the transformation details (something I neglected in my previous post) are, while a little generic, still interesting to read - particularly as they go into other senses, such as smell, unlike most TF stories.
Technical: 8.5 Readability: 8.5 Cloppability: 8 Overall: 8.5 Suggested Dark rating: 1. It's a generally very sweet and "light" story, but Big Mac lying about what he's been doing - after he already did it - is a little bit of a Dark moment. But only a little.
Charlie's Sexcellent Adventure ... oh, my. More seriously, now... I kind of enjoyed this, in a masochistic way. It made me hurt inside just a bit, which I like, although that disappeared too quickly. You rated its clop-ness correctly, I think, in that even for those who are into rape and incest fetishes, the sex would still be far too quick, with most of the 'fun' lying in the build-up to each rape. (This perhaps mirrors the sexuality of Real Life equines, which seems to have been the point.)
This story has a few more missing word or word choice (e.g. final paragraph "ideal" instead of "idea") problems than previous chapters, along with some less-noticeable grammar issues, but in general is pretty good on technical points, and flows pretty smoothly. The transformation themes are fairly minor, and take place more in the mind than in body. This would be interesting, except the transformation goes "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am" and leaves. Still, it's not exactly bad.
Technical: 7 Readability: 8 Cloppability: 3 (for those into rape+incest; 0-1 for others) Overall: 6 Suggested Dark rating: I don't feel like the chapter does enough of pulling the reader emotionally into the dark material to rate a 9. I give it a 7 based on content and what it does do towards this.
Now, granted, the chances I will write your exact chapter idea are fairly low, but feel free to request it, I might see something I like. And, more importantly, be sure to answer the poll question about what sort of fetishes you want to see in my chapters.
Basically, if you request something really specific like "write a chapter with Discord turns Cadance into a changeling that is brainwashed into laying eggs for him', well, chances are I won't write that exact chapter (but damn, that scenario actually sounds pretty great now that I think about it )
But, while that exact scenario probably won't happen, if you answer the poll and check off that your favorite fetishes are "TF, brainwashing, pregnancy, and egglaying", well then that's something I can work with
Considering how wide the TF genre is, I think I had a pretty good launch line up! -TF/TG -Animal TF -Inanimate TF -Mental TF -...and some M/M human on pony action
3821247 Good line up, aye it is. Just mildly surprising there was no out-and-out vanilla. 1st chapter was good. 3rd was great(for what it was). 5th was... Eugh. 4 was nice. 2 was... Eugh, again. But of course, I shall 'Giver her time'.
I got very mixed feelings after reading this... The way the mind regression is portrayed makes it scary, but I liked it very much for some reason. I don't even know anymore...
What about TF/GB ...Without body/mind swap? Or contrived experiment of prepubescent love of pony, and fan worship. I could really do without the fan worship characters.
I commissioned both of those pics to show scenes for chapters I am currently working on. I have them all planned out, it's just a matter of writing and editing them. Too many good ideas, too little time!
They're all coming though. Stay tuned over the next few weeks
Aww the chapters "Big Mac Looks For Love" and "Spellbooks" were so sweet that by the end I was pretty much like "D'awwww.... That was hot though" so great work on those two
The Rari-cow story was good for me in the fact that I got to see my least favourite pony get cow-ified which to me, was a bit ironic (no offense to anyone who likes Rarity a lot). Also I loved how badly the CMC messed up
The plushie-body swap was great because, hell M. Night Shyamalan would be proud of that twist. It was also funny to see how he ended up in the end.
Even Charlie's Sexcellent adventure was great, I wasn't interested in that one sexually because it just wasn't my thing, but that chapter got me to the point where I could feel my sides
Overall, Excellent work to everyone involved in this story
Make a sequel to this chapter this is a great story I would love to see Celestia and Luna devolved into nothing but mares who''s only thoughts are to reproduce I would find it as funny as discord did
-grabs Discord's jaw out of nowhere, pulls him to the ground with it, then jumps into the air and crushes Discord's skull- FATALITY!
In all seriousness, I liked this chapter.
There was nothing breaking the flow of the story and it was an interesting idea. While I don't approve of Discord being the one to orchestrate it - as he is a trickster, not pure evil - and the Watersports threw me off a little, not gonna lie, it was still clop worthy. Well done to the writer of this. Well done.
As with chapter 3, this was a guest chapter. The author was Rustle My Jimmies, give him a follow if you love clop that makes you go "Oh god, why is this turning me on!?"
Oh Discord. You so silly.
Have you ever did a costume-style transformation, where a group of mlp fans find MLP costumes, and upon putting them on, take on the attributes of the Mane 6?
Like, one guy gets an Applejack costume, and when he wears it (including the hat) he ends up as the orange earth pony farmer.
What about the Cutie Mark Crusaders? Being younger, I would say having a trio of grown men become little fillies and have to go to school and deal with their pony family members (from the costumed MLP'ers would be interesting to say the least.
Sex zombies, eh?
Meh, needs more explanation. As it stands, just kinda... silly.
Well...
...I guess you could say that this story is a....
TwistedSpectrum of Tales...
Oh lawd! I didn't think it was as dark as some of the other, but it did have more inherant darkness rather than being blatant about how dark it is.
Damn you Discord!!!!!
puu.sh/6rw8w.png
Wow...This is kinda... um... messed up in a way, no offense but it just really messed with me.
ahhhh, heat week
Jimmy.....you have got to be the darkest mofo of them all....but goddam, why was that amazing?
When will you write a chapter for that cover pic?
3816234
Next to Peppy Greyskull and Kkat, you're quickly becoming one of my favourite FIMFiction authors.
3817790
I think it's the next one coming up, if not the one after
3817612
As Bill and Ted would say...
"That was most sexcelent!"
img.pandawhale.com/51394-George-Takei-oh-my-gif-fXlS.gif
i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/cupcakecommunist/Tenth%20Doctor/tumblr_liop6sTrlt1qdj5zu.gif
Those were basically my main reactions.
Time for more of my thoughts! Hey, people other than Twisted Spectrum, this is full of spoilers!
Big Mac Looks for Love
Aww, that was sweet! Now, I'm not sure I quite believe how the protagonist's relationship develops. There seem to be some missing links, particularly when going from "I'm not gay" to playing with Big Mac's cock the first time. I also don't think anyone would react to "I lied, I'm turning you into a pony so we can haz more stallions and I can bang you" with "OMFG squeeeee! I love you!"
I still liked the chapter, and in general it was well-written (barring a couple of missing words already pointed out and a few odd choices of punctuation). The sex details are interesting despite my general lack of interest in M/M, so well done on that; and the transformation details (something I neglected in my previous post) are, while a little generic, still interesting to read - particularly as they go into other senses, such as smell, unlike most TF stories.
Technical: 8.5
Readability: 8.5
Cloppability: 8
Overall: 8.5
Suggested Dark rating: 1. It's a generally very sweet and "light" story, but Big Mac lying about what he's been doing - after he already did it - is a little bit of a Dark moment. But only a little.
Charlie's Sexcellent Adventure
... oh, my.
More seriously, now... I kind of enjoyed this, in a masochistic way. It made me hurt inside just a bit, which I like, although that disappeared too quickly. You rated its clop-ness correctly, I think, in that even for those who are into rape and incest fetishes, the sex would still be far too quick, with most of the 'fun' lying in the build-up to each rape. (This perhaps mirrors the sexuality of Real Life equines, which seems to have been the point.)
This story has a few more missing word or word choice (e.g. final paragraph "ideal" instead of "idea") problems than previous chapters, along with some less-noticeable grammar issues, but in general is pretty good on technical points, and flows pretty smoothly. The transformation themes are fairly minor, and take place more in the mind than in body. This would be interesting, except the transformation goes "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am" and leaves. Still, it's not exactly bad.
Technical: 7
Readability: 8
Cloppability: 3 (for those into rape+incest; 0-1 for others)
Overall: 6
Suggested Dark rating: I don't feel like the chapter does enough of pulling the reader emotionally into the dark material to rate a 9. I give it a 7 based on content and what it does do towards this.
Just my two bits.
Dark, but good.
3818459
And then everybody in the world fucked without a complaint.
I don't suppose you'd be willing to take fetish requests, would you? Because, I have one I'd like to request.
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3814390
I have a poll up now where you can list your fetishes and/or request scenarios for future chapters.
Now, granted, the chances I will write your exact chapter idea are fairly low, but feel free to request it, I might see something I like. And, more importantly, be sure to answer the poll question about what sort of fetishes you want to see in my chapters.
Basically, if you request something really specific like "write a chapter with Discord turns Cadance into a changeling that is brainwashed into laying eggs for him', well, chances are I won't write that exact chapter (but damn, that scenario actually sounds pretty great now that I think about it )
But, while that exact scenario probably won't happen, if you answer the poll and check off that your favorite fetishes are "TF, brainwashing, pregnancy, and egglaying", well then that's something I can work with
3819972 That was descriptive..... ._.
Chapter one has given me an idea....
Oh, hey sums me up pretty well!
No double TG/TF/Vanilla? For shame.
3821223
Considering how wide the TF genre is, I think I had a pretty good launch line up!
-TF/TG
-Animal TF
-Inanimate TF
-Mental TF
-...and some M/M human on pony action
3821247
Good line up, aye it is. Just mildly surprising there was no out-and-out vanilla. 1st chapter was good. 3rd was great(for what it was). 5th was... Eugh. 4 was nice. 2 was... Eugh, again. But of course, I shall 'Giver her time'.
I got very mixed feelings after reading this... The way the mind regression is portrayed makes it scary, but I liked it very much for some reason.
I don't even know anymore...
3826574
3826562
I don't get it .-.
What about TF/GB ...Without body/mind swap? Or contrived experiment of prepubescent love of pony, and fan worship. I could really do without the fan worship characters.
What the actual fuck?!
Holy shit! That cover is the stuff of nightmares!
3834621
Here's the alternate cover
There are actually going to be 3 covers, each of them showing another TF scene. The 3rd one comes this weekend
3834937
I want to read that Chrysalis story that the picture is showing....
3846627
Good choice, that's a really visceral TF with a pretty dark story that follows it. Anyway, that chapter is in the works, same with the alternate cover art below.
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/018/2/4/aj_final2_by_acesential-d72r57l.jpg
I commissioned both of those pics to show scenes for chapters I am currently working on. I have them all planned out, it's just a matter of writing and editing them. Too many good ideas, too little time!
They're all coming though. Stay tuned over the next few weeks
Aww the chapters "Big Mac Looks For Love" and "Spellbooks" were so sweet that by the end I was pretty much like "D'awwww.... That was hot though" so great work on those two
The Rari-cow story was good for me in the fact that I got to see my least favourite pony get cow-ified which to me, was a bit ironic (no offense to anyone who likes Rarity a lot). Also I loved how badly the CMC messed up
The plushie-body swap was great because, hell M. Night Shyamalan would be proud of that twist. It was also funny to see how he ended up in the end.
Even Charlie's Sexcellent adventure was great, I wasn't interested in that one sexually because it just wasn't my thing, but that chapter got me to the point where I could feel my sides
Overall, Excellent work to everyone involved in this story
3834937 the page would not load.
3854049
Here you go: i.imgur.com/R0jpdRP.jpg
Hopefully in a few days the artist, Ace Sential, finishes the full 3 set compilation and I'll update the story art.
3861889 Apple jacks face!
3861889 when the guy turns to fluttershy and his best friend dose. I was like oh no.
moar
Make a sequel to this chapter this is a great story I would love to see Celestia and Luna devolved into nothing but mares who''s only thoughts are to reproduce I would find it as funny as discord did
GOD DAMMIT DISCORD
-grabs Discord's jaw out of nowhere, pulls him to the ground with it, then jumps into the air and crushes Discord's skull-
FATALITY!
In all seriousness, I liked this chapter.
There was nothing breaking the flow of the story and it was an interesting idea. While I don't approve of Discord being the one to orchestrate it - as he is a trickster, not pure evil - and the Watersports threw me off a little, not gonna lie, it was still clop worthy. Well done to the writer of this. Well done.
5950704
Discord's puppet.