During a sleepover at Apple Bloom's, the Cutie Mark Crusaders search for their talents inside a book of scary stories. Their appetite for horror leads them into a horrifying position: home alone with the creaking steps of an unknown intruder.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That was really good. At first, I thought that it was going to be a cute little story where the CMC mistook something else for the Scaredycrow, so I was surprised when it actually turned out to be alive! You did an excellent job with the characters, and I like how Apple Bloom was the skeptical one while Scootaloo was completely terrified (but trying to hide it for most of the beginning). Great job!
this was awesome and i really enjoyed it thank you for the story
I enjoyed reading your story! In fact, I featured it in a blog post of mine. It's not much, but I hope it'll get you a couple of extra views. Keep up the good work!
The story has undergone minor editing to fix some typos and mistakes. Nothing that would require a re-read. Thank you guys for the nice comments.
This story was adorable and I'm glad I read it. It's very well written, and your writing style is quite enjoyable to me: I adore stories that are vividly descriptive, yet focus on action and dialogue. You also did an excellent job writing the characters! They're totally believable, and the Crusaders were appropriately cute. I'd actually forgotten that Scootaloo seemed to be easily spooked, but this was a pleasant reminder. And oh gosh, I loved that line were Apple Bloom called Scootaloo a chicken while talking about the scarecrow! That was a glorious moment. I also like how you kept the identity of the scarecrow suspenseful until the end. That was very well done, and I'm glad it didn't turn out to simply be a case of mistaken identity! The story is so much more interesting that way.
I did notice a few typos, though. A missing 'a' here "Scootaloo jumped at particularly loud shot of thunder." Repeated words here "and Apple Bloom would have would have followed too" And this is super minor, but whenever Apple Bloom is reading from the story book, the ending parentheses of her dialogue is missing! It ended up before the title of the story here: "'The Scaredycrow'
Aside from those small mistakes, your story was extremely well written! I liked it, and I'm glad I took the time to read it. Good CMC stories are always a joy to experience.
Thank's for pointing out my mistakes, Cinder. I've fixed the first two mix-ups. The quotation marks, on the other hand, are actually correct that way. When quoting multiple paragraphs, you only place a quotation mark at the end of a paragraph when the character is done speaking or the quote is terminated. And "The Scaredycrow" is quoted twice in that instance because, in addition to the dialogue quotes (since Sweetie Belle is speaking), I also have to quote it as the formal title of a story.
It can look weird, I know, but those are the rules from what I learned. Cramming entire stories into other stories can cause quotation marks to act strangely. I'm glad you enjoyed it, in any case.
This was awesome! I loved the Scaredycrow very much. ^^
*reads title* Hmm.... not sure if is 'the shit'
*reads story*
This is the shit.