New Embasee in Ponyville!
Ponyville is now home to the newest Equestrian embasee which is located at Moonglow’s old house. Which is currently being remodeled. Many local construction ponies are working on the building. Which is going to be finished next week. So stop by and greet them when your out and about.
Yesterday, Fancy Pants, of Canterlot told me that our very own Lyra Heartstrings had been voted by a majority of the Noble’s Council to be the Equestrian ambassador, her being voted over Prince Blueblood. Which is a great honor for our small town. You may remember that Lyra hasn’t been around town for a month, well she was in Canterlot. She had been meeting with a new species. Which ponies haven’t met before.
Last night, I spoke with my cousin Bon Bon at the Prancing Pony, where fresh spring garden salads are back on the menu! So you should stop by. Bon Bon has met one of the creatures. Who is called ‘Dale.’
She said he looked pale and gaunt, but that it was hard to tell because he was wrapped in bandages. She said he looked like a little lost foal. I know a certain pink pony is planning a welcoming party, but we can all help make him feel welcome. She said Lyra told her that he had protected her during their last meeting, and made sure that Lyra came home.
I am having an exclusive interview with Lyra tomorrow. Which will be published in a special eddition of the Ponyville Express. Which you can get in the morning. Also tomorrow their is an assembly at the Ponyville town hall, where Mayor Mare will officially announce the Embasee and, we hope, introduce Dale. Its sure to be a big deal, and I hope to see you all.
I can understand why that was difficult to write.
Ouch.
Biscot pls
4083235
I kept having images of the lyre guy and his terrible, all-seeing stare, every time I made a deliberate mistake. Every. Single. Time.
Judging by how hard it was to read I don't even want to imagine.
4083273
Sadly, it was largely inspired by one of our local papers, which is no better written. I got a copy of that paper for the purpose of writing this chapter.
Aw, I was hopping that the ponies would continue to refer to him as "a Dale."
They spelled his name correctly. That almost never happens in the newspapers.
4083311
It reminds me of that local newspaper from Hot Fuzz.
Ugh, I think reading this made me (sic).
4083353
You know, I never actually watched that, even though I meant to.
4083351
I had my first name spelled three different ways on work uniforms (at the same company)! It's a common American name, with only six letters.
Quality journalism right there.
Short, but good. Eager to see the next chapter.^^ And understandable that it was hard to choose how to make her grammar look poor. XD Too bad you didn't insert the reactions of someone reading this.... or should I say somepony? XD
I was going to make a joke about not being able to jokingly do a critique on your grammar because it would involve copy-pasting the entire chapter, but I couldn't figure out how to word it. I also considered making a joke about how I was going to make a joke about jokingly making my comment a critique of this chapter's grammar if it didn't involve copy-pasting the entire chapter and I could figure out how to word it, but I decided that it would be too long and confusing. In the end, I decided to make my ideas into an ironic, self-deprecating word-fling that's one part funny, three parts bewildering, and six parts lame.
4083547
I thought about making a note at the bottom telling my readers to not suggest spelling corrections, but so far everyone seems to get the idea.
On a different topic, I get confused when my readers change their names willy-nilly. At first, I'm all excited that someone new commented, but then I put 2 + 2 together and realize that it's not a new reader, it's just a shiny new username. Or profile pic. Or whatever.
Unrelated, I have a kitty. Actually, no I don't. I wish I did.
I don't remember why I was commenting. Oh well, back to editing Chapter 11. I know what you people want.
4083561
Yeah... reading that just reminded me that I changed my name. I'm a little spacey sometimes. (By the way, according to the built-in spellchecker, both 'spacey' and 'spellchecker' are actual words. WhoNu?)
I wish I had a kitty. Or a dog. I think I'd prefer a dog, actually.
Scratch that, I want a Rainbow Dash. Or a Lyra. Or a Fluttershy. Or a Scootaloo. Or a.....
Oh, you know us too well!
P.S. It's me, Midnight Meerkat. I changed my profile name, so... yeah. Watch out for that.
4083603
Of course I knew it was you. Who else would have a Neightionwide insurance avatar?
I had a kitty once. She was named Fury, and she was as dumb as a stump. She suffered from many generations of inbreeding. Her mom was pretty cool though. I named her 'Katy' (props to my reders how get the reference). I do have a picture of her.
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4083630
Mmmm.... dem ears... so wait, is that Katy or Fury?
Also, I still thing Katy Perry's cat 'Kitty Purry' is the best name for a pet of all time.
img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2013/pets/news/130826/katy-perry-600.jpg
4083402
Yep, but it's not been work that screws up my name. They actually get it right. It's the conventions that mess up. Heck, the 5 and 10 year plaques I got for volunteer work at Project A-kon both have my last named mangled. If it's not an extra "i", it's swapping out for an "e". Although how the volunteer coordinator for that Christmas event, Fantasy Of Trees, got "wheels" out of my name, I'll never know. I guess they read it off the computer and then spelled it phonetically?
(Working towards my 15 year volunteering plaque and 21 years of consecutive attendance for A-kon)
4083670
That one's Katy.
Also, it's not a ref to Katy Perry (although Kitty Purry's a pretty good pun)
4083673
That's a long time to have done any one thing. I've mostly attended things for 20 years (Winter Revel in Ionia is the closest, but I skipped it the last two years). The only thing I've done for 20 years is live in the same state.
4083673
All State sent me a letter recently trying to get me to switch to them, but their automated system turned my hyphenated last name (let's use an example of my name structure, such as First Middle Last-Last2) and turned it into my 'full name' (Last2 Last). Nice job, guys. Keep up the good work.
4083720
You should stick with Neightionwide--they're on your side.
4083728
Ooooh, very good sir. I didn't even see that. See what I mean? Spacey-er than Kevin.
static4.businessinsider.com/image/521c95516bb3f7e34f2ad44e/everyone-in-the-tech-and-tv-industries-is-passing-around-this-speech-by-kevin-spacey.jpg
4083714
I started in 1994 at A-kon #5 because of the anime. Initially an addiction, my love for all things anime is more of an interest now and I guess I keep going because it's habit. Heck, I pretty much go to A-kon to work rather than do anything else there. It's gotten to the point that I have no idea what to do outside Registration. See a panel? I haven't gone to one since the 90's. Get a sketch? I bring it but that book hasn't seen new ink since '03. If I wasn't so stubbornly dependable and set in my ways, I'd have stopped going to A-kon 10 years ago. It's sorta happening at Mephit FurMeet too. I work Reg and then hang out awkwardly till Reg is open again. (At least I have something in common with the bronies and I feed their habit with goofy MLP-themed badges I knock out at random)
4083892
I kind of felt that way at the last NMRA convention. I sort of had to go, since it was in Michigan (last one that was reasonably close was in Dayton, back in the nineties), but at the moment, my love of trains has taken a backseat to ponies--in part because writing costs nothing, while actually building a model railroad takes money and space which I haven't got. I did get to meet one of my idols, so that was something, I suppose. And I got a model of the train station which used to stand in my current town.
4083630
Katy looks like my cat Daisy. She's ADORABLE!
Also, I want to FIRE this mare. I don't CARE if I'm not her boss, not her co-worker, and don't even live in the same town. This mare is committing crimes against grammar AND coherent thoughts! How dare she have worse writing skills than elementary school students! She's the editor of the towns only official newspaper! There's really no excuse for being this terrible once you get that high up in the chain of command.
4083630 Had a dog once, it was stupid.
Pissed in it's dog food before eating it any.
And then when it went to get a drink of water it stuck it's head all the way into the bowl of water.
I had to pump the water out of it's lungs five times before it learned not to drown itself in the water bowl.
It also had the bad habit of shitting in it's own bed before sleeping there.
4084213
One part of me feels the same way when I read our local paper. The other, more understanding side of me reminds myself that the local paper is written by the owner of the bowling alley, in his free time, because he saw a need that wasn't being filled, and took it upon himself to write, print, and deliver a bi-weekly paper.
All we know about the Ponyville Express in canon is that it's not as good as the Foal Free Press, and that's really a harsh indictment of the paper. Still, until there is a pony in Ponyville with a journalism cutie mark, it might be the best source of local news they have, even if it is written by the owner of a farm store [my headcanon] who may not have even completed school--if attendance was even mandatory when she was a foal [also my headcanon] and is writing a newspaper for a town in which not all the ponies are even literate [also my headcanon, but consider Bad Horse's Big Mac Reads Something Purple].
Does Apple Honey kind of suck as a newspaper reporter/editor? Yes, she does. Is there somepony more qualified in town printing a paper? No, there is not. Considering that Golden Harvest and Berry Punch were willing to put up a banner that said "Welcome Princess Celest," I think that the ponies might be very enthusiastic believers in "it's the thought that counts." In the case of the Ponyville Express, I think that Apple Honey would be perfectly within her rights to say that if anypony wants a better newspaper, then they should write and publish it themselves.
Who knows, in a few more years, maybe Featherweight or Shady Daze--or even Diamond Tiara--will be publishing a better newspaper, but for now, Apple Honey's all they've got.
4084314
Oh. Oops. I forgot about those parts of the episodes. It honestly didn't occur to me full literacy might not be the norm in some places in Equestria. I guess that makes a lot more sense then, doesn't it?
Still painful to read though.
this was good. Have a cookie. wait no. A brownie. Brownies are better :3
My gosh, I think we just died laughing! No, wait, that was just the Grammer reinterpretation service, he's not going to be working for a while...
I'm glad most of the ideas presented were accurate, if a little disjointed, but what the article lacks in style sure makes up in enthusiasm!
Keep going! ;)
Best newspaper ever! So fancy! So informative! So Ponyville!... thats not meant as an insult!
So the embassy finally gets to open up? Looking forward to it! Would be funny if Dale had to give 'a speech' about how proud, humbled and grateful he is to be the first ambassador who gets to inaugurate the building! :D
4090161 Hehe.
"Dale happy, Dale happy big house. Dale happy big house, many pony see Dale. Dale make words mans, she-dales, ponies. Dale make mans, she-dales, ponies happy! Many happy!"
You spelled Embassy wrong... Was that on purpose?
4216423 I assumed that this was supposed to be an article in the school paper or something, so it'd be written by a child.
As a person with journalistic training, this was painful as all hell to read.
4570438
The sentence structure and misspellings of homonyms was, unfortunately, based off my local paper.
You have provided an excellent example of why it's not always the best idea for a Pony to branch out into a field for which she lacks the Talent.
You know, the sad part is that our local 'professional' newspaper is actually worse than this.
Enjoyed it, I like these little windows into other ponies views on things.
Nuuzpaper wuz grate. Fahr bettur then wut i wud rite...
Ok, that was painful to write. Serious props for managing to pull off the proper amount of stylistic suck. It was amusing.
4570556
This was harder to read than you'd think. Good God, man!
I have a minor case of OCD. Even though I didn't write it, be assured I know your pain.
Agh! I wasn't prepared for this.
Looking at this, the word that comes to mind is 'earnest'.
She's trying so hard!
9294024
I know, right? She’s kind of out of her depth, but she’s doing her best.
Hmmm... I suddenly want a fresh spring garden salad from the Prancing Pony...
A part of me wishes that Apply Honey had spelled it as 'embassador'. Because who works at the embasee? The embassador!
11423052
Yeah, somehow she managed to get that right. She probably thinks (like Millie) that ambassadors have boats, and she knows that admiral starts with an A, so. . . .