Ponyville Express: Special Edition
Ponyville Express
Special Edition
Admiral Biscuit
Yesterday, our small town has seen an event the likes of which it hasn't seen before except when Nightmare Moon returned or the Star-Bear. Which was a trial of one of our own, Lyra Heartstrings.
You may remember that Lyra recently met with a new species and was voted as the new ambassador. Well, yesterday she had to go to trial, becuase some fancy unicorn from out east accused her of all sorts of terrible things. Which weren't true at all.
In no small part because of the brilliant defense by Fancy Pants, Lyra was found innocent, and the stallion who said all the terrible things was punished by Princess Luna. Hopefully he learns his lesson!
After it was over, Fancy Pants talked to me at my shop (where theres a sale on leftover seeds, so come and get them if your thinking about planting a garden this year). I can now tell you the WHOLE story about how Dale came to our town. His name is strange becuse he isn't a pony.
Princess Celestia visited an alien land, and she had Lyra with her. This was a few months ago.
They met Dale there. Some of Princess Celestia's guards were scared, but not our Lyra. She wanted to step outside of the protective field, and see him more closely. Which she did. They coulnd't talk, but they got the idea acorss that they wanted to meet again, and Princess Celestia thought it was a good idea, so Lyra and Twilight Sparkle started to study that, until they had a good idea what to do.
The first meeting went off without a hitch. Lyra learned a lot of stuff from him, and he gave her books which she brough back. Books so complicated that even the unicorns in Canterlot can't figure them out.
Lyra spend a day back in town before she went back again. This time, Dale showed her to his home. He lives simply, close to nature, in a small clearing in the woods. He was not with any other of his kind. Lyra and Dale shared lunch and spent the whole day talking to each other, until it was time for Lyra to go home again.
When they came back to the beach, there were two stallions like Dale there who came in boats. Except they were more agressive, and so he held them at bay. While he gave Lyra time to get back to the spell, and make her way home again.
Once he was sure that he had held them off, he galloped along with her, just in case somepony else tried to stop her. And it was a good thing he did. There was a mare on the beack, who was confused. She had a powerful wand, and she used it to suck all the magic out of Lyra who didn't have time to prepare a proper defensive spell.
That caused the magic field to collapse.
So then Lyra came back, but so did Dale and the mare. We've seen Dale around town, and he's kind of weird and looks like a starved minotaur but without fur because it came off in the spell, but everypony agrees he's got a good heart, and he made quick friends with not only the nurses in the hospital, but also with a pony who had to repair a damaged wall. He was at the embasee meeting with Mayor Mare and Twilight Sparkle and they both said how nice he was.
Some 'noble' unicorns think they know better than we do though and they wanted to put Lyra on trial and lock her up and take him away from us. They said things which anypony would see were completely made up. I was at the trial, and watched as someponies fell for Noble Voice's slick talk and fancy words but Fancy Pants and Fleur Dee Lis weren't fooled and showed him. Also Princess Luna saw through his tricks and even though she let him continue for longer than any sensible mare would have she had him taken away before he could finish. Which he deserved.
So now Lyra has been found innocent, and we hope she will put this behind her. And Dale can be seen at the embasee. Soon, we're sure, he'll be walking the streets of Ponyville, and we hope that everypony will be nice to him. Give him a hoof-bump or a nuzzle. He went out of his way to make sure that Lyra came home, and even if he looks kind of funny and can't talk much, he's the kind of stallion which does a town like our's good.
Also, you may remember that recently a small herd of Canterlot unicorns came into town on the train? Well they were to help out with medical treatement for Dale and the mare whose called Ka-th-rin, but they didn't have much to do. Our exemplary doctors and nurses at the hospital—aided by Zecora and Doctor Goodall—made the mare all better, so she just was released from the hospital and is at the embasse now where she will finish her recovery.
And I know your all curious after Mayor Mare's speech . . . I've heard that as soon as the embasee is finshed, it will be open to the public, and we can all go meet Dale. My cousin Ambrosia says its coming along nicely, and they will be done in a couple more days. If you don't see her, be sure to stop by the library or Sugarcube Corner for the latest updates—and have a strawberry shortcake while your there. The strawberries are freshly picked, and Daisy Jo's sent a special batch of cream. So now's the time to have one.
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I assure you, it was painful to read. I applaud your going the extra mile in characterization.
"embasee" /eye twitch
Luckily for Miss Honey's readers, most of them probably don't know any better.
5250057
Das racist.
They might be painful to write, but they're really fun to read. She's so adorable in her writing.
Oh god. The horror. The horror.
5250057
There's something to be said about proof-reading the story to make sure that embassy was never spelled right. But--she nailed exemplary.
Very true.
5250156
While our local newspaper is no better written, it's just as . . . heartfelt. The owner of the bowling alley might not be a very good reporter, but he honestly cares about our little town.
5250156
5250182
Painfully, painfully adorable- *beat* aplorable?
5250182
It's Twilight's dilemma. As a good librarian, does she dutifully archive copies of the paper for posterity? Or does she spread them under Owlowiscious' perch, where they might serve a nobler purpose?
5250153
Even when it's true?
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120413054928/mlp/images/archive/2/28/20130829170729!Twilight_watching_the_faulty_banner_S1E10.png
5250153
Why? It's been established, by word of god and by the characters themselves, that universal education, such as those in a modern industrial society know it, is still a very new concept, and isn't well established; one can safely assume that a resident of a large city such as Canterlot or Manehattan would have received an education and therefore know how to read, but in a small, frontier town like Ponyville, not so much. It was much the same in the United States in the 19th century, which, if I remember correctly, is what Admiral Biscuit is basing his Equestria's social and technological development on.
Ponyville's children and "twenty-somethings" can be safely assumed to know how to read, while its older residents must be taken on a case by case basis, and the assumption would be that they can't.
In-story, It has been established that a large portion of Ponyville's residents neither know how to read nor write; as The Express is a local newspaper, it can be safely assumed that it would only see circulation in Ponyville and its immediate area. Therefore, it can safely assumed that most, if not all, who would read it would be those in and around Ponyville.
Of those that do know how to read in Ponyville, a large portion, such as those of older generations (maybe even Apple Honey herself) would likely be self-taught, and therefore likely have incomplete knowledge, perhaps stopping once they have a basic working knowledge, seeing it 'frivolous' or the like.
5250228
I can only imagine.
Indeed. Point to Miss Honey.
I read the title as Pony Planetside Stories.
imgbase.info/images/safe-wallpapers/video_games/planetside_2/23998-video_games_planetside_2_wallpaper.jpg
Through no fault of anyone but myself, this story dissapointed me greatly without even reading it.
How come she spells this out in this way? I understand that the ponies pronounce Katherine's name this way, but why spell it like that?
Government types come from out east? You must be basing this on your town newspaper.
I actually knew someone in college who wrote at about this level of sophistication.
5250327
The short answer was that I'd have to have invented a pony language for the purpose of the misspelling. The long answer is pretty much the same. In Arrow 18, Twilight had trouble with contractions, which was brought up during an interview with her. For some reason (and here I'm stepping back from the story and just giving the unvarnished truth as an author), the ponies have trouble with Kate's name. There's no reason why Apple Honey would be able to do an alphabet substitution, like we might in writing a Greek or Russian word--so she'd have to use their alphabet to spell it like Fancy Pants pronounced it.
In the official Equestria map, Canterlot, Baltimare, and Manehattan are all east of Ponyville.
Not surprisingly, I also know a number of people like that. In high school, one of my classmates wrote terrible essays--mostly focused on pigs. They kept on passing him, because he already had thousands of hogs he was farming, and it was clear to everyone what his destiny was.
5250327
That's probably the closest approximation that the Equestrian written language has. If the sounds in "Katherine" do not naturally exist in Equish, and there is no reason why they should, they wouldn't have the symbols to write it down neatly, but would instead have to approximate when writing it down, just as with speaking.
Of course, since we're talking about someone who misspells quite frequently in her own language, there might be a bit of that factoring in as well.
To be fair, we're dealing with a town that isn't exactly a nexus of education. Technically, Canterlot IS to the east of Ponyville, and that would probably be enough for the less educated of Ponyville's residents.
Oh don't worry Admiral, it was painful for us readers too.
I feel for you.
5250391
I was not aware that Canterlot is actually to the east of Ponyville.
I was in a class with this aquantance. We had to write up a little summary of a project we were going to do. We all traded summaries so we could critique them. Instead of critiquing hers I spent the time correcting her grammar. I felt embarrassed that I had gotten into the same college as her. She had one giant paragraph which took up about half the page and contained two sentences.
All I can say here was that this was just adorable.^^
This was so awesome, that one day we're going to look back when someone asks why I practically bubble about a fic this poorly written, and I'll just say, "you really just had to have been there when it happened."
5250970 I can do that with Cultural artifacts these days, for such a popular fic, When I read it these days, it is fairly horribly written, and it makes the literary snob in me cringe.
5250970
I say this about Harmony Theory All the damn time. Then again after every re-read I find a new piece of the puzzle that I didn't see before. I mean I remember it going from "guilty pleasure" to "STOP EVERYTHING!"
You bastard. I was enjoying a freshly-opened bag of beef jerky, and it turned to ash in my mouth as I read this... this... travesty of a newspaper.
5250251
The answer to this question, is yes.
5254380
This comment is a lot more amusing if read with Rarity's voice.
I don't think Dale will be too happy about his "house" being open to the public.
5250314 Each chapter is actually a side bit to a significantly different story... Onto the Pony Planet. Reading just this would be like playing only the DLC for four or more games using the same voice actors with no context. Attempting to link them snd make sense of them simply doesn't work until you see the whole that they're actually a small piece of...
5254954
He does know it's an ambassadorial position, so he's kind of got an idea it will be. As long as they stay to the first floor, during business hours, he's got not reason to complain (especially since it's free). Of course, ponies like Featherbrain will test those limits. . . .
Now this is reaching the level of 'quality' we've come to expect from our local newspaper.
Guess she should be glad that most Ponyvillian's are iliterate. And that Twilight Spaklre probably doesn't read the news (silly librarian!). Because she'd probably be chased out, of town for an afront to Celestias langauge! Not to mention Luna.
I commend your dedication to this story's world; not many would have the constitution to write chapters like this. It hurt to read it, I can't imagine how hard it must've been to write it all.
Man, am I the only one who likes Apple Honey? Haha. She has a good heart and a nose for the story, and those are the most important things for a beat reporter.
8432349
Everybody loves her. She might not be the best journalist, but her newspaper has heart.
In fact, she even got her own side story in 'verse.
I am glad these Ponyville Express chapters aren't my first exposure to your writing. I'd miss out on the rest!
8924366
The Ponyville Express chapters are the best.
Also, Diamond Mint avatar! Woo!
On the one hoof, it could be construed as shameless plugging... but on the other, it's still news, and something you might actually want to know, funnily enough. I mean, sure, it probably gets around by word of mouth, but Ponyville is small enough that you can actually call this "newsworthy"... for good or ill. ;]
I applaude you for you're doing the typoes and making it sound kinda realistic from a mare who can't write too good. And the other chapter to.
11245695
Full disclosure, having my editors suggest typos and grammar errors rather than fix them was a new experience.
Also Apple Honey is cute and her heart is in the right place. So what if she’s not great at writing her newspaper? She’s trying her best.
Also also did I mention that I wrote a full story about her?
For anyponys not gifted with thaamaturgical knowledge, this is: A Bad Thing.
11423056
I would think that most ponies who live where there are unicorns--or who read books that have unicorns in them--would know that this is a bad thing. I remember in one episode, somepony knocked Rarity's(?) horn to stop her magic; I wonder how many ponies know you can do that? Probably a lot of them, to be honest.