Early Equestria, full of dangers ranging from monsters to pirates. The last thing it needs is for a crazed human wearing a suit of battle armour to appear and claim to be the 'Lord of The Sea!'
While i'm disappointed that Nigel didn't destroy Sombra, I realize that it would have meant the end of the story right there. Also I'm pretty sure that Sombras defeat will be much much sweeter, when he realizes that allying himself with Nigel was not a very good idea.
“Affirmative, Captain. This Unit’s designation is now ‘Sea Biscuit’.” “I have never been so proud in my life,” Nigel announced while wiping a tear from his eye. “They just grow up so fast…”
This is gold. Sea Biscuit, bwahaha!
How fast will chapters be coming out? Do you work on all your stories at once, or take turns? I can't wait for the next chapter!
Celestia and Luna 'fight' Nigel, hit him with some Omni-Level spell then somehow a fragment of Nigel's chaotic being merges with the spell, Creating/Bringing in to being The Discord we know but with a inspired father complex to Nigel.
Spell does nothing to Nigel and in the time Discord is done coming into being, Nigel has beaten and tied up Celestia and Luna then starts spanking them while saying "You Naughty Naughty Girls".
Oh no... Is this going to go the same route as your other story? Or will a younger, more inexperienced Celestia fail to deal with him? Btw. That part with the rowing boat was freaking. Hilarious.
Those nymphs are heart clenchingly adorable. The adult ponies are cute too, but those nymphs have the limelight. Sombra is delightfully evil. A devious ally for Eviltopia. Will he be Sombrah, or will he be Sombitch? Chaos? Looks like Nigel is bringing order...as net gain. Freaking Alicorns. Would they help keep discrimination, and slavery around for a long time? Find out in future chapters of PPaPP!
Uh oh. The sisters deem him a threat. They're screwed. Best chance for them is to not see him as a evil person of chaos, and more like a chaotic neutral or a chaotic good fellow. Although it's hard to say when it's Nigel we're talking about. Let's hope they don't try to banish him to Tarturas like the other sisters from another story. Otherwise they're damned.
I expected Nigel to just show Sombra how he can replicate all the gold he wants. I guess it just doesn't work that way. Nice to see this again. Sounds like we're getting closer to the "war against the world" part of the story. Looking forward to that.
Oh, I doubt Celesita is ready to take Nigel (and now Sombra) on. Keep in mind, she's pretty much a teenager in this, so she lacks any experiance. Still, she's bright enough to wait it out, so who's to say that she won't find a way to win if she's cunning enough.
Let's just say that i've got a solid plan in mind, and you should remember that this also serves as a 'Chrysalis origins' story. Look at how her character started off, and her overall behaviour and attitude. Then compare it to how she acts in the show itself.
But don't worry, I'm not going for a sudden left-hook like I did with NMC,E.
4872104 Huh. Well lets hope that the sisters won't be ignorant foals when meeting Nigel or Chrissy, better yet let them try to meet diplomatic instead of invading. Because that will do much good, otherwise, well they may be a seat for them in the 'too be killed on sight' spot like the other celestia is in your other story.
I wonder if Nigels insanity will cure Sombras sociopathic mind.... And Celestia better still lose, cause she lost against him even WITH her experience. I giggle at the thought of Nigel working with all of them. Since this all takes place over 1000 years in the past, are the ISA a thing yet? I mean assuming that Nigel went back in time. Somehow....
Both are going to be constantly trying to out-do each other, both are plotting against the other and everyone around them is going to question just what the Hell they're thinking. With the possibility of adding world-wide war and the Pegasi into the mix (and my... strange take on Commander Hurricane's character) it can only lead to one thing:
I seriously wonder what it is you may change in regards to the show with this origin story? Will Sombra still live to become King of the Crystal Empire? Will the ponies unite under Chalmer's banner and leave Celestia and Luna without a kingdom? I really hope this isn't just a prequel to the original story of the show and will have all of Chalmer's accomplishments and technology fade away after he somehow loses to Celestia/Luna/Sombra/Discord/whoever. Keep up the good work!!
4873521 I won't lie, I assumed this was in the past so the UIP don't get involved. I personally really hate it when you have two minute characters popping up so you can stage a whole world war thing. Like general Achemdies or something. There are characters you NEED like the kings and such, but with the possibility of AI robots for war, it seems needless for those kind of characters to pop up.
The same reason some people hated the fact Shining Armor came out of nowhere. I mean sure, they needed to give Cadence a back story, but goddamn at least have him mentioned. It also pissed me off Cadence the alicorn came out of nowhere too, but that pissed less people off just because they found her good fap material.... You know who you are.
Course with the "4 horsemen" James, Orthadox, scientist ethanol or something, and Nigel, you did good with them just because they're not overwhelming, and you had Nigel at least talk about their specific characters. (And they have personalities. They're not just calculative robots.)
(And yes, a whole fucking army showing out of fuck ton nowhere space to overthrow an entire planet was PRETTY FUCKING OVERWHELMING!)
Course these are just my opinions, and we won't know if it's a popular one or not until we start seeing a decent thumb count....
(No but seriously, the fact Cadence and Shining Armor coming out of nowhere really pissed me off since they weren't even talked about.)
And yes, while he hasn't beaten her alone, he's technically still not alone. He's got a fuck ton of guard robots and an entire crew of loyal pirates, who don't take to kindly to authority of the kind Celestia wishes.
Just feel like I should clarify and change up what I said a little bit. Throw in an opinion to hope that the story plan doesn't throw me out the window. Then wait and watch the thumb count to see if anyone agrees with me.
Sorry if I sound pompous. (I think that's the right word.)
*edit* Just thought I would point out that it wasn't the planet being overthrown that was overwhelming, it was the fact you had shit tons of people come in with different personalities, crap tons of names, giant fucking mechs.
The reason robots right now aren't bad was because he built it, everything didn't fucking drop on his lap like the entire UIP fucking army.
You could do the army showing up at around the end, but not to involve in the main goddamned story. I don't know if you'll have Nigel betray the entire UIP government, or if you'll just have them come in to wrap the end of the story up, but just don't put them smack dab in the good part of world conquest and shit.... Just saying.
*Bonus edit* And yes, with that technology Nigel could easily conquer the planet.
Relax, the UIP won't even make an apperance in the story.
Besides, in S&D, it was made known at the start that they were coming and throughout the fic it was constantly referenced. Also, a few of the characters brought in via that fic have already made apperances in others. For instance, it was the fic where James' character was first explained, it had Colonel Straken (who is now a main character for another fic of mine), and by using that fic as a 'introduction' if you will, I can futher elaborate on things with more detail.
You know those HIEs where 'tank crew is transported to Equestria and surrenders tank', 'navel fleet is teleported to Equestria,' or the ever-hated 'pilot crash lands in Equestria' fics?
Think of the potential you can make with those if instead of using ordinary forces that act with the general intelligence and tact that you'd expect from a modern day army (usually american or british), you use a violent, fascist. self-rightous, multicultural and egotistical space empire. Hell, some of them are probably just as unhindged as Chalmers.
The point is, i guess, is that I tend to introduce characters and backgrounds in one fic, then branch out and fill in the gaps with other fics.
An example would be that in 'Fall of the Caribou' (FOE parody), Elijah is show with a metal glint on his left arm. In 'Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold', you then learn that it's a replacement limb and how he got it.
It's a system that rewards regular readers with a deeper understanding of characters and backstories, and it may even change their perspective of other fics. A bit risky,but it's just how I feel like doing it.
Anyway, back to the main point, don't expect any UIP to show up in this fic, it's just Chalmers. I've talked to a few readers of mine who have been following me from the beginning, and we've come up with what we believe to be a fitting end to the fic...
4878331 Alright, So glad the UIP don't get directly involved. That is also a neat idea too, the whole revealing more and more and stuff....
Just.... I knew that you were referencing that the UIP would show up and all, but it's like.... Something just really bothers me when they pop up, even when it's explicitly hinted throughout the story that they will come....
I THOUGHT it was because it was out of nowhere. I know it's SOMETHING that bothers me about it, I just can't place what....
Still, really good chapter, keep up the good work. cheerio monocle monocle top hat monocle and all that.
I would LOVE to see something where all the Nigels in the multiverse, male and female, met for a convention. Call it Nigelcon, where they discuss being hammily evil, the better parts of changeling sex, and which cheese is truly superior. As well as how to deal with Sunbutt and moonbeam.
For once I'd actually want to see Celestia and Luna being a friend towards Nigel. It's really tiring to constantly see Celestia being a complete idiot when it comes to meeting the main character in other fics. The only way she would ever get along with them is if they're complete saints and wouldn't hurt a fly or if she has complete control over them and they bow to her submissively and if they don't do what she says, she ends up winning any fight afterwards, even if she's completely outclassed. It would be nice to see the main character win and show her she's wrong.
Also is like to think celestia has a playful side that would go great with Nigel's own comedic one.
Gosh, please don't turn out in another "Luna and Celestia storm in and kick everyone's flank to win the day" fic, please! I doubt that you'll kill them but still... Fuck off Celestia!
“Women, what do I need to do to understand them, Chatter?” Nigel asked, the nymph looking up at him with a thoughtful expression. “Chair,” Chatter answered with a hoof-point towards the armrest of the chair, Nigel smirking while he leaned back and increased the head rub. “Indeed,” he replied while he waited for Chrysalis to return so he could continue on with the day. “Chair is the best answer I’ve heard to that question so far.”
I thought that this was the greatest scene so far.
“Just one hint?” Morning begged. “Please? The waiting is killing me.” The hand rubbing Chrysalis’s head left when Nigel leaned forward. “Come closer,” he whispered, Chrysalis and Morning moving their heads closer. “You want to know a secret, the most important thing about your newly-upgraded ship?” “Yes,” Morning breathed, a foal-like joy in her eyes. “Tell me.” Nigel cleared his throat, a process which he drew out as long as possible. Finally, he cuffed a hand to his mouth and looked around to make sure no-one else was in the room. “It floats.” A stunned silence descended upon the room, broken only by the buzzing of nymph-wings and a single whisper from Morning. “You Bastard,” she insulted, her eyes narrowing and her voice returning to full volume. “You actually went through all of that just to play me along?”
I was wrong. This is just awesome!
Edit: I was proven wrong again.
“Yes Commander,” Morning eagerly answered, jumping down from his arms. “But how?” “Simple,” Chalmers replied, walking over towards a rock on the shore. Everyone held their breath while he tugged at an item hidden behind it, wondering what other amazing device he had. He stepped back and pulled a plain, wooden, rowboat from behind the rock, the small craft easily capable of seating them all. “I call this, the ‘rowboat’!” he announced while holding up two oars. “We already have rowboats,” Sunflare deadpanned, Nigel shrugging his shoulders. “I know, but ‘I borrowed this from a fisherman’ sounds a lot less dramatic.”
Double edit:
“By the Gods, it’s on me!” “Ignore him,” Nigel reassured after a mouthful of his own noodles. “Spyglass just likes to play with the nymphs.” “There’s more of them! They're coming out of the walls!”
While i'm disappointed that Nigel didn't destroy Sombra, I realize that it would have meant the end of the story right there. Also I'm pretty sure that Sombras defeat will be much much sweeter, when he realizes that allying himself with Nigel was not a very good idea.
YES! UPDATE!!!
P.S.: Schemes and plots are the same thing.
1: sombra + nigel = best partnership ever!
2: celestia and luna don't stand a snowballs chance in hell!
lol plot twist :D
4869365 nah more like a donut in front of 3 starving people
the fun is just oozing
can't wait
This is gold. Sea Biscuit, bwahaha!
How fast will chapters be coming out? Do you work on all your stories at once, or take turns? I can't wait for the next chapter!
Celestia and Luna 'fight' Nigel, hit him with some Omni-Level spell then somehow a fragment of Nigel's chaotic being merges with the spell, Creating/Bringing in to being The Discord we know but with a inspired father complex to Nigel.
Spell does nothing to Nigel and in the time Discord is done coming into being, Nigel has beaten and tied up Celestia and Luna then starts spanking them while saying "You Naughty Naughty Girls".
You have little error in "eat or eat" Should be eat or drink I think
Anyway like always great chapter :D
Oh no... Is this going to go the same route as your other story? Or will a younger, more inexperienced Celestia fail to deal with him?
Btw. That part with the rowing boat was freaking. Hilarious.
Those nymphs are heart clenchingly adorable. The adult ponies are cute too, but those nymphs have the limelight.
Sombra is delightfully evil. A devious ally for Eviltopia. Will he be Sombrah, or will he be Sombitch?
Chaos? Looks like Nigel is bringing order...as net gain. Freaking Alicorns. Would they help keep discrimination, and slavery around for a long time?
Find out in future chapters of PPaPP!
Different story and Celestia still can't get her head out of her ass
And now, the real fun begins...
The legend of Sea Biscuit lives on…
Uh oh. The sisters deem him a threat. They're screwed. Best chance for them is to not see him as a evil person of chaos, and more like a chaotic neutral or a chaotic good fellow. Although it's hard to say when it's Nigel we're talking about. Let's hope they don't try to banish him to Tarturas like the other sisters from another story. Otherwise they're damned.
I expected Nigel to just show Sombra how he can replicate all the gold he wants. I guess it just doesn't work that way.
Nice to see this again. Sounds like we're getting closer to the "war against the world" part of the story. Looking forward to that.
4869446
Well, I've got another four that I have to work on, so it may be another few weeks.
4869526
Oh, I doubt Celesita is ready to take Nigel (and now Sombra) on. Keep in mind, she's pretty much a teenager in this, so she lacks any experiance. Still, she's bright enough to wait it out, so who's to say that she won't find a way to win if she's cunning enough.
4869492
Whoops, thanks for that.
4869947
At least this time she can blame her lack of experiance. Besides, who said that it was Celestia to be the one stuffing things up?
4870672
There's an idea:
What if in this universe Discord doesn't exist, and instead Nigel take his title as chaos-bringer?
4871967 fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/267/9/9/admiral_garp__wtf_expression_by_zendoren-d2zecbb.png My mind just broke.
Instead of chocolate rain, it will be cheese. Raining cheese.
*In my mind*
mv.com/ipusers/ullr/BSOD.gif
*Reboots*
Well...Lets hope he doesn't get turn to stone..............Right?
4871992
Let's just say that i've got a solid plan in mind, and you should remember that this also serves as a 'Chrysalis origins' story. Look at how her character started off, and her overall behaviour and attitude. Then compare it to how she acts in the show itself.
But don't worry, I'm not going for a sudden left-hook like I did with NMC,E.
4872104 Huh. Well lets hope that the sisters won't be ignorant foals when meeting Nigel or Chrissy, better yet let them try to meet diplomatic instead of invading. Because that will do much good, otherwise, well they may be a seat for them in the 'too be killed on sight' spot like the other celestia is in your other story.
media.giphy.com/media/AZ1PPDF8uO9MI/giphy.gif
4871739 still can't figure out who is the enemy.
Not Sombra because he will most likely die next chapter anyway
Plot twist within a plot twist...img.pandawhale.com/72964-mother-of-god-leonardo-dicapri-whZU.jpeg
4869296 oh no allying himself with Nigel WAS a good idea.it's his plan to betray him that's not a very good idea.
I wonder if Nigels insanity will cure Sombras sociopathic mind....
And Celestia better still lose, cause she lost against him even WITH her experience. I giggle at the thought of Nigel working with all of them. Since this all takes place over 1000 years in the past, are the ISA a thing yet? I mean assuming that Nigel went back in time. Somehow....
4873359
For one, I don't recall Celestia ever losing against him when he's by himself.
Secondly, with the time thing, he's not in the past or the future, it's just a different setting.
4873359
if the UIP can traverse dimensional boundaries than I doubt that something as trivial as time would be much of a hindrance to them.
4873649
Nah... not even they're crazy enough to try to time travel.
That stuff never ends well.
I'm not sure what to think of Nigel getting into an alliance with Sombra.
It:s kinda like the EQG movie.... -.-_-.-
4874203
... How so?
Both are going to be constantly trying to out-do each other, both are plotting against the other and everyone around them is going to question just what the Hell they're thinking. With the possibility of adding world-wide war and the Pegasi into the mix (and my... strange take on Commander Hurricane's character) it can only lead to one thing:
Potential comedy gold.
4874261 It's just... I really dislike sombra for some reason and I don't know why
4874462
They don't know all of the details, but you have to admit that on a first impression he would look to be rather evil.
I mean, he is kind of hamming up the whole 'evil' thing a bit, with the black tower and such.
I seriously wonder what it is you may change in regards to the show with this origin story? Will Sombra still live to become King of the Crystal Empire? Will the ponies unite under Chalmer's banner and leave Celestia and Luna without a kingdom? I really hope this isn't just a prequel to the original story of the show and will have all of Chalmer's accomplishments and technology fade away after he somehow loses to Celestia/Luna/Sombra/Discord/whoever. Keep up the good work!!
The princesses are going after Nigel? BRING OUT THE DUCT TAPE!
Cover them so completely that they'll never get the sticky feeling out of their fur!
4873521
I won't lie, I assumed this was in the past so the UIP don't get involved. I personally really hate it when you have two minute characters popping up so you can stage a whole world war thing. Like general Achemdies or something. There are characters you NEED like the kings and such, but with the possibility of AI robots for war, it seems needless for those kind of characters to pop up.
The same reason some people hated the fact Shining Armor came out of nowhere. I mean sure, they needed to give Cadence a back story, but goddamn at least have him mentioned. It also pissed me off Cadence the alicorn came out of nowhere too, but that pissed less people off just because they found her good fap material.... You know who you are.
Course with the "4 horsemen" James, Orthadox, scientist ethanol or something, and Nigel, you did good with them just because they're not overwhelming, and you had Nigel at least talk about their specific characters. (And they have personalities. They're not just calculative robots.)
(And yes, a whole fucking army showing out of fuck ton nowhere space to overthrow an entire planet was PRETTY FUCKING OVERWHELMING!)
Course these are just my opinions, and we won't know if it's a popular one or not until we start seeing a decent thumb count....
(No but seriously, the fact Cadence and Shining Armor coming out of nowhere really pissed me off since they weren't even talked about.)
And yes, while he hasn't beaten her alone, he's technically still not alone. He's got a fuck ton of guard robots and an entire crew of loyal pirates, who don't take to kindly to authority of the kind Celestia wishes.
Just feel like I should clarify and change up what I said a little bit. Throw in an opinion to hope that the story plan doesn't throw me out the window. Then wait and watch the thumb count to see if anyone agrees with me.
Sorry if I sound pompous. (I think that's the right word.)
*edit*
Just thought I would point out that it wasn't the planet being overthrown that was overwhelming, it was the fact you had shit tons of people come in with different personalities, crap tons of names, giant fucking mechs.
The reason robots right now aren't bad was because he built it, everything didn't fucking drop on his lap like the entire UIP fucking army.
You could do the army showing up at around the end, but not to involve in the main goddamned story. I don't know if you'll have Nigel betray the entire UIP government, or if you'll just have them come in to wrap the end of the story up, but just don't put them smack dab in the good part of world conquest and shit.... Just saying.
*Bonus edit*
And yes, with that technology Nigel could easily conquer the planet.
4877499
Relax, the UIP won't even make an apperance in the story.
Besides, in S&D, it was made known at the start that they were coming and throughout the fic it was constantly referenced. Also, a few of the characters brought in via that fic have already made apperances in others. For instance, it was the fic where James' character was first explained, it had Colonel Straken (who is now a main character for another fic of mine), and by using that fic as a
'introduction' if you will, I can futher elaborate on things with more detail.
You know those HIEs where 'tank crew is transported to Equestria and surrenders tank', 'navel fleet is teleported to Equestria,' or the ever-hated 'pilot crash lands in Equestria' fics?
Think of the potential you can make with those if instead of using ordinary forces that act with the general intelligence and tact that you'd expect from a modern day army (usually american or british), you use a violent, fascist. self-rightous, multicultural and egotistical space empire. Hell, some of them are probably just as unhindged as Chalmers.
The point is, i guess, is that I tend to introduce characters and backgrounds in one fic, then branch out and fill in the gaps with other fics.
An example would be that in 'Fall of the Caribou' (FOE parody), Elijah is show with a metal glint on his left arm. In 'Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold', you then learn that it's a replacement limb and how he got it.
It's a system that rewards regular readers with a deeper understanding of characters and backstories, and it may even change their perspective of other fics. A bit risky,but it's just how I feel like doing it.
Anyway, back to the main point, don't expect any UIP to show up in this fic, it's just Chalmers. I've talked to a few readers of mine who have been following me from the beginning, and we've come up with what we believe to be a fitting end to the fic...
And the start of a sequel...
4878331
Alright, So glad the UIP don't get directly involved. That is also a neat idea too, the whole revealing more and more and stuff....
Just.... I knew that you were referencing that the UIP would show up and all, but it's like.... Something just really bothers me when they pop up, even when it's explicitly hinted throughout the story that they will come....
I THOUGHT it was because it was out of nowhere. I know it's SOMETHING that bothers me about it, I just can't place what....
Still, really good chapter, keep up the good work. cheerio monocle monocle top hat monocle and all that.
i have a head canon for this story and so far its going just as planed......get out of my head
4880512
That is kind of what we do, as well. It's hardly a fault, I mean, would you swim up to a tiger shark thinking:
"Oh, well it has a lot of teeth and looks like it could eat me, but maybe it's just a nice shark wanting a hug?"
Besides, Celestia and Luna are young and overconfident.
Was wondering when those two would show up.
let's the piracy begin!
I would LOVE to see something where all the Nigels in the multiverse, male and female, met for a convention. Call it Nigelcon, where they discuss being hammily evil, the better parts of changeling sex, and which cheese is truly superior. As well as how to deal with Sunbutt and moonbeam.
5242971 the universe would die. Slowly....
...
...
...
...
...
All for the glory of the U.I.P
4870867 yes but if he replicates gold he could crash the economy.
For once I'd actually want to see Celestia and Luna being a friend towards Nigel. It's really tiring to constantly see Celestia being a complete idiot when it comes to meeting the main character in other fics. The only way she would ever get along with them is if they're complete saints and wouldn't hurt a fly or if she has complete control over them and they bow to her submissively and if they don't do what she says, she ends up winning any fight afterwards, even if she's completely outclassed. It would be nice to see the main character win and show her she's wrong.
Also is like to think celestia has a playful side that would go great with Nigel's own comedic one.
Gosh, please don't turn out in another "Luna and Celestia storm in and kick everyone's flank to win the day" fic, please!
I doubt that you'll kill them but still... Fuck off Celestia!
Huh, I was wondering if those two were gonna show up
I thought that this was the greatest scene so far.
I was wrong. This is just awesome!
Edit: I was proven wrong again.
Double edit:
And again.
4876862 not even douchlestia deserves that... horror