Early Equestria, full of dangers ranging from monsters to pirates. The last thing it needs is for a crazed human wearing a suit of battle armour to appear and claim to be the 'Lord of The Sea!'
Another Funny, Random and Great chapter. Also I think Nigel should break off Sombra's horn, making get a cursed replacement, with makes him crazy about crystals and slavery (and Nigel + slavery = ends BADLY) and with said horn (of Sombra's) Nigel makes a gel that can heal and repair a horn at the cellular level slowly (for Sunflare Because he can).
Nigel you stupid son of a bitch. You have a super sexy Changeling Queen lusting for you and you go for the pony version of Kim Kardashian instead; for shame.
4327219 That would be the greatest ending to this story imaginable. Nigels Gene Mods resulting in mutated and enhanced super ponies aka Alicorns.
Twilight: "Princess, I know that your mother was princess Platinum but who was your father".
Celestia: "My dear student that's simple; He was a bipedal hairless monkey from outer space who crashed here and united Equus beneath the banner of his evil empire".
Twilight:..."Wut".
Celestia: "Yes, in fact your ancestor Morning Sparkle served under him as one of his captains when he was king of the pirates. He was a pirate by the way did I mention that".
Twilight:..."Wut"
Celestia: "Oh yes I remember all the fun times we had together. Blowing up Griffin ships with Plasma mortars, conquering countries with Aunty Chrysalis, and the constant drunken bar brawls. Sigh... Good times".
Twilight:..."Wut, Wait did you say Aunty Chrysalis".
Celestia:"Yes, that's why Luna and I are only Princesses and Chrysalis is a Queen. After father returned to his space empire he left her in charge as his regent. She's secretly the ruler of the entire planet".
I did spot one mistake however, I think you put Sunflare instead of Morning Sparkle around the part where Nigel is stroking her head.
And Nigel is getting too many prisoners, I mean when the prisoners are coming to Nigel, it just defeats the purpose... Sunflare, Spyglass, Clover, Platinum, and probably Forecast .
I really want Nigel to be the father of Celestia and Luna. It would explain so many of their fanon personality traits. Celestia inherited his love of messing with people and Luna inherited his love of mayhem and destruction. In other words Nigel is the father of Trollestia and Nightmare Moon.
This is how I'd explain it. I envision Pony DNA as having 3 main Gene groups. An Earth pony Gene, A Pegasus Gene, and a Unicorn Gene. All ponies carry the 3 Gene groups but only 1 can be active at a time and family ancestry plays a factor in which trait becomes dominant during the fetus stage. This is why Mr and Mrs Cake can have a Unicorn and a Pegasus foal despite being Earth ponies. Nigel has several genetic modifications to enhance himself as a soldier, enhanced strength, speed, intelligence, stamina, etc. These Gene mods would react with Platinums DNA and activate her dormant ancestral Genes and all 3 pony Gene groups at once. They would then supercharge them to beyond pony limits creating a pony with the magic of a Unicorn, the wings of a Pegasus, and the strength and stamina of an Earth pony, all enhanced to a supernatural level. So even though they didn't inherit any Human DNA they did inherit his enhancements.
Celestia and Luna would simply be Fraternal twins with Celestia born first and Luna second. Maybe the reason Celestia doesn't like Chrysalis is because her father loved her instead of her biological mother (typical step-mother step-daughter issues) and the reason Luna didn't show up at the wedding is because she was cool with it and they get along well (I see Luna being a total daddy's girl).
I would like to ask that you don't bring all the humans in at any point in this story or the empire story, or if you have too, just one or two. I think the fans agree with me when I say that they are a bit much.
4331394 Meh, he shows some intelligence when he comes up with strategies and operating high tech equipment. His intelligence simply isn't universal and is instead focused towards certain fields, the rest of the time he's an idiot.
I just really want him to be the father of Luna and Celestia, mostly because I want to see this scene.
Nigel on his pimped out flying pirate ship firing a Plasma minigun on the invading Griffin forces.
Nigel: "Wahahahaha, who wants fried chicken".
Woona: "Daddy daddy, can I shoot the gun too".
Nigel: "Now what kind of father would I be if I said no".
Woona: "YAY". [mounts minigun and starts epically pwning Griffins] "The kill count has been doubled".
Huh, mind giving me an example? I've tried asking multiple people in the editor group but I seem to get conflicting advice. I really want to earn what to do right.
4334066 Like the misuse of then. You use it 30-ish times and use number 1, 3 16, 23 and 28 should be "than". (I would love to use quotes, but I'm reading on an iPad, and it keeps reloading the pages, effectively deleting what I write)
Ps. I know that particular mistake is a low blow, but it is one of the easy ones to point out quickly.
4334146 Oh, well MS word's grammar correction states that is should be how I wrote it. Thanks, I'll have to check it out and see what's going on. I was actually debating about buying actual writing software so I can actually have it tell me why it's incorrect.
Edit: Ah, never mind, I see it now. Thanks, I'll try and fix this up and remember it for next time.
4334165 The Danish word for "then" and "than" are very different, "så" and "end". So it is very easy for me to spot the difference when I translate it in my head. If you are ever in doubt, just use google and pick one of the 100 million times someone else has asked the question and gotten an answer in return
Thanks again. After 26,000 words, which had been completed at 11:30pm, my editing may not have been the most sound. Always keen for people to point out issues.
4334229 No worries, it is 2 am here, so it is probably not the best time for me to proofread anything. ps. You know, if you continue with your current word increase curve, you'll need to write around 35-45k words for the next chapter.
4334251 No, I mean it's starting to kill me. I think I need to stick to around the 10,000 - 15,000 mark. Every story needs some love, and i'd like to get three chapters out a week.
Yup, I see Sombra as the type of guy who was able to convince everyone that he was in the right. Imagine, if his 'heroic victory' over the 'monster' got him that much support, what would a failed Pegasi assasination do for his popularity?
4360821 It's fine. Metric system is better than our U.S. Customary Units or something like that XD I think a kilogram is like two pounds or close to that.
*Edit* Just looked it up and yes a kilogram is 2.2 pounds.
Yay for for character development and seductive princesses!
Another Funny, Random and Great chapter.
Also I think Nigel should break off Sombra's horn, making get a cursed replacement, with makes him crazy about crystals and slavery (and Nigel + slavery = ends BADLY) and with said horn (of Sombra's) Nigel makes a gel that can heal and repair a horn at the cellular level slowly (for Sunflare Because he can).
4321801 is it weird i have a scene in my head of nigel curb stomping the strongest beings currently on the planet ,probably the princesses to this music?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwr3Gzgm_bM
Nigel must get all the mares!
You are the greatest comedy writer I've ever seen.
And tell me if I'm wrong, but wont Nigel and Platinums one night stand result in Luna and Celestia?
4327219 This idea. Hilarious.
4327219
4327251
Wow, you can imagine that talk that Celestia will have with Twilight:
Twilight: Princess, where did alicorns come from? I mean like you and Luna?
Big C: Well Twilight, when a unicorn Princess and a human-pirate-supervillain don't love each other very much but drink a lot of booze...
Nigel you stupid son of a bitch. You have a super sexy Changeling Queen lusting for you and you go for the pony version of Kim Kardashian instead; for shame.
4327219
That would be the greatest ending to this story imaginable. Nigels Gene Mods resulting in mutated and enhanced super ponies aka Alicorns.
Everything you touch is gold, Dropbear271. Keep up the good work.
Ah, Nigel being Nigel, another great chapter.
I did spot one mistake however, I think you put Sunflare instead of Morning Sparkle around the part where Nigel is stroking her head.
And Nigel is getting too many prisoners, I mean when the prisoners are coming to Nigel, it just defeats the purpose... Sunflare, Spyglass, Clover, Platinum, and probably Forecast .
4328992
Forecast might not be a prisoner, he hasn't really crossed Nigel after all
Thanks for catching that mistake also, with all these names it's bound to happen.
Nigel x Platinum feels right to me, like it was meant to be. This is my favorite ship now.
I really want Nigel to be the father of Celestia and Luna. It would explain so many of their fanon personality traits. Celestia inherited his love of messing with people and Luna inherited his love of mayhem and destruction. In other words Nigel is the father of Trollestia and Nightmare Moon.
This is how I'd explain it.
I envision Pony DNA as having 3 main Gene groups. An Earth pony Gene, A Pegasus Gene, and a Unicorn Gene. All ponies carry the 3 Gene groups but only 1 can be active at a time and family ancestry plays a factor in which trait becomes dominant during the fetus stage. This is why Mr and Mrs Cake can have a Unicorn and a Pegasus foal despite being Earth ponies.
Nigel has several genetic modifications to enhance himself as a soldier, enhanced strength, speed, intelligence, stamina, etc. These Gene mods would react with Platinums DNA and activate her dormant ancestral Genes and all 3 pony Gene groups at once. They would then supercharge them to beyond pony limits creating a pony with the magic of a Unicorn, the wings of a Pegasus, and the strength and stamina of an Earth pony, all enhanced to a supernatural level. So even though they didn't inherit any Human DNA they did inherit his enhancements.
Celestia and Luna would simply be Fraternal twins with Celestia born first and Luna second. Maybe the reason Celestia doesn't like Chrysalis is because her father loved her instead of her biological mother (typical step-mother step-daughter issues) and the reason Luna didn't show up at the wedding is because she was cool with it and they get along well (I see Luna being a total daddy's girl).
Damnit I hate when pony gets in my soup.
4330384 That's one heck of an idea. Not very likely, but entertaining nonetheless.
4330577 It's completely crazy. But in this story crazy is normal so it would fit perfectly.
4329428 That summary at the end.... Its nice.
I would like to ask that you don't bring all the humans in at any point in this story or the empire story, or if you have too, just one or two. I think the fans agree with me when I say that they are a bit much.
4330384
Um, what?
4330814
Nah, I got something worked out. Besides, I prefer writing a small number of characters anyway.
4331398
If thats a yes to only one or two humans, then thank you. 3 in the morning, comprehension will improve with sleep.
4331488
No extra are going to show in this fic at all. It's only going to be Nigel.
I love you.
4331394 Meh, he shows some intelligence when he comes up with strategies and operating high tech equipment. His intelligence simply isn't universal and is instead focused towards certain fields, the rest of the time he's an idiot.
I just really want him to be the father of Luna and Celestia, mostly because I want to see this scene.
26k words in this chapter!?! Oh how you spoil me! ^.^
4331496
4333687
I'm cheesy, but I don't think i'm that cheesy.
Awesome chapter! Except for them minor grammatical errors.
Anywho, hopefully Sombra will die in the next chapter >:D or at least lose all his teeth.
4334031
Huh, mind giving me an example? I've tried asking multiple people in the editor group but I seem to get conflicting advice. I really want to earn what to do right.
4334066 Like the misuse of then. You use it 30-ish times and use number 1, 3 16, 23 and 28 should be "than". (I would love to use quotes, but I'm reading on an iPad, and it keeps reloading the pages, effectively deleting what I write)
Ps. I know that particular mistake is a low blow, but it is one of the easy ones to point out quickly.
4334146
Oh, well MS word's grammar correction states that is should be how I wrote it. Thanks, I'll have to check it out and see what's going on. I was actually debating about buying actual writing software so I can actually have it tell me why it's incorrect.
Edit: Ah, never mind, I see it now. Thanks, I'll try and fix this up and remember it for next time.
4334165 The Danish word for "then" and "than" are very different, "så" and "end". So it is very easy for me to spot the difference when I translate it in my head.
If you are ever in doubt, just use google and pick one of the 100 million times someone else has asked the question and gotten an answer in return
4334212
Thanks again. After 26,000 words, which had been completed at 11:30pm, my editing may not have been the most sound. Always keen for people to point out issues.
4334229 No worries, it is 2 am here, so it is probably not the best time for me to proofread anything.
ps. You know, if you continue with your current word increase curve, you'll need to write around 35-45k words for the next chapter.
4334251
No, I mean it's starting to kill me. I think I need to stick to around the 10,000 - 15,000 mark. Every story needs some love, and i'd like to get three chapters out a week.
ROLF!
Keep on pumping these chapters out and they'll be more likes, favs', and views in no time!
Ahhh, the Middle ages. Where you could trick uneducated peasants into believing anything with barely any evidence or supporting argument.
4344513
Yup, I see Sombra as the type of guy who was able to convince everyone that he was in the right. Imagine, if his 'heroic victory' over the 'monster' got him that much support, what would a failed Pegasi assasination do for his popularity?
4344580 *CUE DARK SUNGLASSES* Mein gott....
100m in 10 s its not that fast you know, but 36 km/h going straight up can be quite strange.
4327508
Oh god I nearly sprayed soup on my laptop when I read that one xD
4347968
Oh I know, Morning was just over-reacting as she did not expect to feel it move. No one else had an issue with it.
4355268
Did you catch the joke?
4355622
Bit of a warning, the first one is by far the worst. First fic and all that jazz.
4355580
Pffff. You clever, clever son of a bitch. I love you like a brother.
4355628
First fics, we all have 'em.
This may have been addressed but how much does the suit weigh?
4360784
Around 100kg (not sure what that is in pounds) I guess, never really thought that much into it.
4360821 It's fine. Metric system is better than our U.S. Customary Units or something like that XD I think a kilogram is like two pounds or close to that.
*Edit* Just looked it up and yes a kilogram is 2.2 pounds.
4360841
Righto, I could have done that as well I guess.
``Horns don not grow back'' is cliche.
that is all i have to say about this story
4399520
You do realize unicorn horn is most likely bone.
Bone doesn't grow back.
It's like losing an arm or a leg.