When all you've got is time, power, and political influence, how do you keep yourself from getting bored? For Twilight Sparkle, the answer was simple: hire a love sla-er... apprentice.
I have officially lost my clop-writing virginity. I'm no stranger to writing smut, however, but I await the scathing abusive words from my over-expectant and over-entitled readers.
"Author's Note: I have officially lost my clop-writing virginity. I'm no stranger to writing smut, however, but I await the scathing abusive words from my over-expectant and over-entitled readers."
I feel entitled to more clop now darn it! You and your smutty expertise.
Only thing is, I didn't see anything about them removing clothing. So I assume they weren't wearing any, which seems strange for a princess, but whatever. overall, very enjoyable.
I have a theory now. SB gets the proper savant apprenticeship. Vinyl gets in due to her skills in theory and tech and other things. Trixie gets in due to comparable power if not skill...and other things. Fluer is accepted less for magical skill and more for political savy which is something twi needs.....and other things. This looks more like it will become a haram story than any thing else.
Also interesting way to nuke the Tavi Vinyl fan pairing.
“I have been positively aching for somepony to roll around in the hay with! Do you have any idea how annoying it is when somepony tells you ‘Oh, hey, we’re giving you this round-the-clock guard unit of really attractive and muscular stallions that all have like, years of endurance and strength training, but you can’t touch or flirt with any of them!”
Okay.
You know what? I now think Princess Celestia has a huuuuuge sexual frustration fetish she indulges in by keeping a big harem of studly guards that she herself can't touch.
You know with Trixie gunning, Fleur amours, and Vinyl humping over Twilight, Sweetie Belle would be curious unless Twilight and Rarity set her up with Spike.
Vinyl smiled, happy to answer the question. “Well, you see this flat panel here?” Twilight nodded. “That’s actually a micro-lattice of thousands of tiny photocrystals
wel considering that in real world terms this would describe a TV, I'm going to have to go along with that ESPECIALLY with this
I’m working on a partner device that’s still wayyy in the alpha stages that is designed to capture live pictures of real-time events, translate those images into a series of color-coding spells, and transmit that information to the base control node here
I like how you're toying with the character stereotypes here. Octavia isn't a 'proper lady', Vinyl isn't an idiot, and Twilight isn't socially retarded. It's nice to see things being shook up a bit. The clop was good, and it's nice to see this somewhat uncommon pairing. Definitely good for a first try, but it seemed a bit lacking in detail. It sort of ends up as "Twilight and Vinyl are having sex", and not much else. Anyway, I definitely like what you're doing here, and I'll be keeping an eye out for updates.
I think it will be easier to get more detail out of Trixie's and Fleur's scenes, especially since I'm planning something specific with them. Vinyl is more the vanilla contender with an edge in magical know-how.
Not a bad first attempt at writing clop (Celestia knows my first attempt at a sex scene was terrible, but thankfully there's no public record of its existence so we'll pretend it never happened)
You have some good action and reaction going on during the scene which is good, you never just want it to be a series of actions without how the other characters are reacting to it. You would just end up with Twilight did x, then Twilight did y. Vinyl moaned and then did z. nopony wants that The only advice that I'd give for future scenes is to try to add a bit more detail (you're okay on this, but more is always better when setting a clop scene), don't be afraid of purple prose just make sure that your description is as vivid as possible. Also try to include more feeling in the scene; you have some great ideas like using a pulsing beat spell, but you don't capitalize on these by describing how it feels to your characters. Emotion and tactile description can help to bring your scene to life and keep it from feeling like a "clop-by-numbers" story.
Okay. I haven't read the clop, yet, but I like what I did read. The idea of Vinyl and Octavia (Melody) being sister did blow my mind. I wonder what the second round (of interviews) will be like.
3587258 Hehe, I too deleted (kinda) my first attempt at clop. It was only three hundred words in my first story on here, and I took that part out to turn into its own story. After some major revisions, that story now has well over 22k words. It just takes work and a TON of time to get anywhere with writing clop.
3610493 realy?i do that all the time to better understand endorphins and such. odd... i mean, most say yes if you ask politely and honestly. and i think the heat pulse spell is best used for muscles and such, like restarting the heart of someone who is frozen. or fighting off frost beings by making a sheild. all it really is is a very thins series of fire balls or heat waves.
Yo! Just wanted to say, [insert scathing comment here].
JK. I'm loving it so far. Keep going.
Ohai
actually dude, this wasn't half-bad.
I'd comment on how good the chapter is, but I'm still snickering about its title.
Out of all of this one thing comes to mind. Is vinyl trying to make a t.v or a computer?
Also good job with the clop
"Author's Note:
I have officially lost my clop-writing virginity. I'm no stranger to writing smut, however, but I await the scathing abusive words from my over-expectant and over-entitled readers."
I feel entitled to more clop now darn it! You and your smutty expertise.
3567321
I got the sense that it was/is supposed to be something like a CCTV setup. Maybe.
3567432>>3567321
Well, what is a computer, but a TV connected to a processor? From the description however, I'd say it was some way to record video.
3567305
Hey, recognize the character from you profile pic.
Awesome. Intentionally funny smut is my favorite smut. Bring it on.
Only thing is, I didn't see anything about them removing clothing. So I assume they weren't wearing any, which seems strange for a princess, but whatever. overall, very enjoyable.
I have a theory now.
SB gets the proper savant apprenticeship.
Vinyl gets in due to her skills in theory and tech and other things.
Trixie gets in due to comparable power if not skill...and other things.
Fluer is accepted less for magical skill and more for political savy which is something twi needs.....and other things.
This looks more like it will become a haram story than any thing else.
Also interesting way to nuke the Tavi Vinyl fan pairing.
3567770 I can see it
As far as clop goes I feel its more like forplay, not bad for a virgin I guess =P I look forward to more.
.......this was a yummy chapter
I like it how you make the Vinyl character Keep going.
If this is your "first" time, then your already better them most writter's I've read, keep up the good work!
Okay.
You know what? I now think Princess Celestia has a huuuuuge sexual frustration fetish she indulges in by keeping a big harem of studly guards that she herself can't touch.
Ya dun good thar, son.
You know with Trixie gunning, Fleur amours, and Vinyl humping over Twilight, Sweetie Belle would be curious unless Twilight and Rarity set her up with Spike.
3567321
wel considering that in real world terms this would describe a TV, I'm going to have to go along with that ESPECIALLY with this
put just lines afterwords
3567817 sounds right to me as well
3568984 actually I can see her figuring things out and ending up making a bundle off of princess/Vinyl/Trixy/Fleur pornos
I loved this update especially the part there at the first with the sisterly love interaction because of the roasted flowers
I like how you're toying with the character stereotypes here. Octavia isn't a 'proper lady', Vinyl isn't an idiot, and Twilight isn't socially retarded. It's nice to see things being shook up a bit.
The clop was good, and it's nice to see this somewhat uncommon pairing. Definitely good for a first try, but it seemed a bit lacking in detail. It sort of ends up as "Twilight and Vinyl are having sex", and not much else.
Anyway, I definitely like what you're doing here, and I'll be keeping an eye out for updates.
3569797
I think it will be easier to get more detail out of Trixie's and Fleur's scenes, especially since I'm planning something specific with them. Vinyl is more the vanilla contender with an edge in magical know-how.
3567616 most people do
3569956 I think you mean Vinylla.
3570846
You. I like you.
3570960 Yay! I feel so loved.
I GOT excited!
AWESOME!!!
Well let's see how far this story can go! I can't wait for the others interviews!
oh damn
oooohhhdamn
that's what my mind is going on right now.
THATWAS COOL BUDDY
Not a bad first attempt at writing clop (Celestia knows my first attempt at a sex scene was terrible, but thankfully there's no public record of its existence so we'll pretend it never happened)
You have some good action and reaction going on during the scene which is good, you never just want it to be a series of actions without how the other characters are reacting to it. You would just end up with Twilight did x, then Twilight did y. Vinyl moaned and then did z. nopony wants that
The only advice that I'd give for future scenes is to try to add a bit more detail (you're okay on this, but more is always better when setting a clop scene), don't be afraid of purple prose just make sure that your description is as vivid as possible. Also try to include more feeling in the scene; you have some great ideas like using a pulsing beat spell, but you don't capitalize on these by describing how it feels to your characters. Emotion and tactile description can help to bring your scene to life and keep it from feeling like a "clop-by-numbers" story.
Okay. I haven't read the clop, yet, but I like what I did read. The idea of Vinyl and Octavia (Melody) being sister did blow my mind. I wonder what the second round (of interviews) will be like.
for a first, this isn't actually that bad. i've read much worse! good job!!
that's a rather interesting way of putting it.
3582295
I deleted my first clop attempt. THAT'S how horrible it was. (being a virgin is NOT helpful to the clop writing process.)
I was thinking of getting someone else to write the clop for my series.
*Pushes read later* Thisss....
Thiiissss is getting interesssssssssting....
3587258 Hehe, I too deleted (kinda) my first attempt at clop. It was only three hundred words in my first story on here, and I took that part out to turn into its own story. After some major revisions, that story now has well over 22k words. It just takes work and a TON of time to get anywhere with writing clop.
3597633
Plus having first hand experience helps.
3610419 True, although it's not necessarily needed.
3610427
Well, it's not like I'm going to ask someone, "Hey, can I watch you have sex, for science? Oh, and can you describe every feeling you get? Thanks."
Yeah, not gonna happen.
(Dear Celestia, the sarcasm, oh the sarcasm.)
3610493 Lol
3595741
Just read later?
I'm faving this!
3610495
Came close to asking my parents that.
That could have awkward. (to say the least)
3610493
realy?i do that all the time to better understand endorphins and such.
odd... i mean, most say yes if you ask politely and honestly.
and i think the heat pulse spell is best used for muscles and such, like restarting the heart of someone who is frozen. or fighting off frost beings by making a sheild.
all it really is is a very thins series of fire balls or heat waves.
3610493 You mean you've never done that? Or you've never gotten a yes?