DiE: Glarin Ungard the Berserker

by InsaneJustin

Broken ribs and the return of a demon

The new doctor for the morning shift was looking at a chart as he read everything aloud to the nurse who was scheduled for midnight to noon.

“His rib cage on the left side broke loose so he had Flail Barrel, and the ribs that are still where they should of been are broken in several areas. The fractured ribs punctured one lung while the other collapsed and his stomach had a large gash in it. Several of the muscles were also ripped in several places... It looks like his entire Barrel was subject to some kind of train wreck. Was this pony involved in some kind of train wreck?”

“Actually Doctor, Applejack just bucked him in the chest... 3 times. Also, he’s not a pony, its Sir Glarin. He was just released into this room an hour ago after his 7 hour reconstructive surgery.” The Doctor dropped the clipboard in shock.

“Applejack did this to him? What did he do to her?”

“Thats the thing, no one wants to talk about it, and the surgeon said he would probably be asleep for at least another day or two.”

“Well this is...”

“Oye! What’s this thing in my arm!?” The nurse and doctor turned to face the room as the alarm went off. Sounding the patents heart had flat lined. “Oh sweet Berronar, there’s blood everywhere!” The Doctor and nurse rushed into the room to find Glarin had ripped all of the medical devices out and off of him and tore one the veins in his arms doing so.

The unicorn doctor levitated a thick towel over, and held it against the new gash on Glarin’s arm as he cast a mending spell.

“Please get back into bed Sir Glarin. You’re still fresh from intensive surgery, and you need to rest for the recovery to be completed.”

“What are you talking about? What surgery, I thought I just had a few broken ribs, maybe a punctured lung or two.” The doctor cleared his throat as the Nurse directed Glarin back into the bed.

“Yes well, your ‘few’ broken ribs, turned out to be more than that. Your entire rib cage was broken with the left half of it free floating, held only in place by what little muscles were left. The fact you’re even moving around right now is a medical mystery to me.”

“Thats it? When I puked blood I thought it might have been something more serious... I can eat still right? You didn’t have to remove anything?” The doctor rubbed a forehoof against his head.

“Yes, everything seems to be in order now, you will just need to allow 2 months of rest minimum to heal. I however suggest 4 months, just too be safe. With the amount of damage your rib cage took... Might I ask what provoked Applejack to injure you to this extent?” Glarin rubbed his chin in thought for a moment.

“I don’t rightly remember. It might have been about an apple barrel. But I’m pretty sure it was well deserved... I think I said something bad about her apples. I can’t be sure.”

“Wait, she nearly killed you because you talked badly about her apples?”

“Well I wouldn’t say killed, but I’m not quite sure, I do know it was a well deserved beating.” The doctor raised an eyebrow at Glarin.

“Have you heard of Stockholm Syndrom before Sir Glarin?”

“Can’t say that I have. Why?” The doctor shook his head.

“Nurse is anyone still here?”

“Well there’s 30 guards in the waiting room still. I think they spent the night here actually.”

"And what of Applejack?"

"I'm not sure, she said something about going to the farm this morning to acquire some funds for the medical bill. She looked devastated when the surgeon told her what he had to do."

"I see, have the guards said anything?"

"Not that I know of, but they came in with Applejack and Sir Glarin who was unconscious at the time." The doctor thought for a moment about what he knew.

"Nurse, follow me outside. Sir Glarin, Stay in bed and rest."

Glarin watched them leave after they had finished talking with each other like Glarin wasn't even there.

"Rest huh... why can't they just use magical healing on me again? Is arcane healin different from holy healin? The way these ponies go about things is so confusing." Glarin sat up in his bed. His entire chest area was warm and covered in bandage wraps. Some spots had blood in random areas... and moving was a bit difficult as it seemed the bandages were placed to prevent wide movements. As he laid back in the bed the door opened and in walked Princess Twilight Sparkle.

"Oh hey Twilight. You come to use a healing spell on me so I can get this bothersome healing phase over with?" Twilight gently shook her head.

"I cant just keep using magical healing spells on you Glarin. The more magical healing you receive the more likely you are to be subject to some kind of magical backlash in the form of cancerous growths or incorrect healing. In the end, Healing naturally is the best way if its possible." Glarin gave a heavy sigh.

"Arcane healing is so weak compared to holy healing. This world is so boring, and slow paced as well. I hope you know I don't plan to lay in a bed the entire time."

"I figured as much. As such, I brought somepony you might remember from Canterlot." Glarins eyes went wide as he felt a shiver down his spine. In walked that demon nurse, Rose White, with a wheelchair.

"Hello Glarin. Princess Twilight has told me that you might need my help to get around again. Since you have things to do and places to go, but no time to wait and properly heal. Princess Twilight has set me in charge of your health, again."

"You're going to wheel me around in the wheelchair again?" Glarin started to sweat nervously

"Yes I will. I'm surprised though, all it took was like 4 days for you to become a cripple again. Most wait at least a month." Glarin gritted his teeth.

"Twilight, I can take care of myself perfectly fine. I don't need her help." He huffed as he crossed his arms and laid back in the bed.

"Yes, I'm sure you can handle yourself perfectly well Glarin, and that’s what I'm afraid of. You'll ignore your current injures and thereby re-injury yourself or worse, destroy the 7 hours of reconstructive bone surgery all those ponies put into you last night to make it so its even possible to move. Don't worry about the bill, I will take care of it, and I'll also need to go speak to Applejack about this. One more thing..."

"Yeah? What did you wanna know?"

"Did you really egg her on? Some of the guards said you provoked her into hitting you harder..."

"Knowing me, I probably did."

"Wait, you don't remember?"

"Not quite, but its no matter. I do remember telling her that her 1st buck was weak. Might of been a bit of a mistake on my part though." Twilight Sparkle sighed

"Hmm, your slight memory loss might be partly related to the anesthetic spells they had to use on you last night. I'll need to speak with Applejack and figure out what happened exactly. According to the Doctor, he thinks's you're suffering from Stockholm syndrome..." Glarin just gave Twilight a confused glare.

"Where did the Doc come up with that? Just because I recently got a small stock of gems and rocks he thinks I'm stockpiling them or something? And how does he know I even have them, is he spying on me or something?" Twilight sighed yet again. She understood he was... unsmart, about the world outside of dwarves but, sometimes it seemed to be a little extreme.

"No it's, never mind Glarin, I know Applejack wouldn't do anything like this without some kind of reason, but I can't imagine why. And that’s why I am going to speak with her about this." Glarin just nodded his head as he turned to face that nurse who had stuck to him like ugly on an orc before. As Twilight walked away leaving Glarin and Nurse White, he continued to look at her with a bit of suspicion.

"I can kind of understand how you feel Sir Glarin. You don't want to be seen as weak when I push you around in the wheelchair correct? You wouldn't be the first. But know that Twilight told me that you had basically been put in charge of training some guards by the other two princesses."

"Aye, I'm supposed to be charge of training some green horn guards. Such a bother, this lifestyle is." The nurse sighed as she went up to the bed Glarin had been laying in.

"I understand Sir Glarin. I've had to care for a few griffins in my time as a nurse. They say the same things. As an active race where being a warrior or a fighter is common, downtime with them showing weakness, makes them feel weak or vulnerable. But that’s why I'm here, I help you get over those feeling of weakness and overcome the hurdles you can't handle alone until you finish healing. I just wish you would understand that. I don't want a repeat of what we did in Canterlot." Glarin sighed as he listened to Nurse White.

"Alright Nurse White, just don't make it look like I can't do anything. Since Twilight brought you, I'm hoping you at least understand the basic's of what I’m trying to do." Nurse Rose White sighed

"Don't worry Glarin, I wont embarrass you. I'm just going to push you around and just so you know. From what I heard, the fact I'm even pushing you around is astounding within itself. So you shouldn’t have to worry about what others think of you." Glarin nodded in understanding then turned to look at her.

"Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about the other two Princesses would you?"

"What do you mean exactly? It was all over the papers a few day's ago about Princess Luna being the very special somepony of the only dwarf in Equestria. Oh, it would seem Luna put something inside of Celestia’s shampoo yesterday. Made her right fluffy it did. Pictures of her covered in white fluff were all over the tabloids." Glarins heart stopped for a moment from that news.

Not only did the news of this newish world say he was going steady with one of its princesses, But he was also its only dwarf. Also Luna used the beard grow on Celestia’s entire body. Something that hit a little harder than the news of his interspecies relationship with the princess of this country.

Glarin just calmly climbed into the wheelchair she had brought along and sat quietly after that. It had finally come full circle to him that he was the only dwarf on this hell hole of a plane.

No booze of anykind to be found yet, and it would appear he had nothing that came close to it.

"Please Rose White. Take me back to the Applefarm, and make sure we stop by to pick up all of the guards that came with me, I'm supposed to train them." She nodded in agreement.

"Of course Sir Glarin, I was told that I would be helping you as well." Glarin just nodded his head until she said she would be helping

"How exactly are YOU going to help me?" She grinned as she looked him straight in the eyes.

"I was a combat medic in my younger days before I became a nurse for Canterlot." Glarin smirked at that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glarin was sitting under an apple tree while inside his wheelchair with Apple Bloom, Big Mac and Spike as they put together the next phase of his training plan for the 30 volunteer guards. All the while he was greatly enjoying the way the nurse handled the guards. Not only did she remind him of the ferocity his mother had, but the way she spoke and changed her attitude depending upon the situation.

"You call that galloping?! Sir Glarin is going to need another lap around the orchard before he gives you something new!" Glarin looked at Nurse White as he nodded his head in agreement.

"When they finish this lap, that should be enough. We’ll have enough of these completed by then." Nurse White nodded her head with a large smile upon her face.

"I'm just glad to be of help Sir Glarin." Glarin just acknowledged her how he always did, with a simple nod and smile. For the past 2 days he had been tying the rocks they gathered together with the rope he had recently bought.

For the last 2 days the guards had been running around the entire apple orchard. It would take them 40 minutes to run a single lap, and they were promised water breaks every 4th lap. They had improved thier time slightly, it only took about 39 minutes to finish the laps now.

Every guard expected to have like a month off until Glarin had healed enough to not need help, Twilight made that impossible. Her excuse was that Glarin wouldn't stand for that, and that he would force the work upon himself.

Celestia and Luna thought Twilight was just being impatient at first, until they found out Glarin woke up an hour and a half after his 7 hour surgery. Something unheard of within the current Equestrian medical history.

Needless to say, After hearing of Glarins near death experience, Luna set up a time to visit him as soon as possible. He was after all, her very special some dwarf. Even though Luna thought it would just be a silly joke, Celestia suggested she just go along with it as long as possible.

This could of just been Celestia's way of getting back at Luna for the prank she pulled half a week ago. Putting a few drops of Glarins beard growth potion into Cesltistia’s Shampoo had far better results than she ever thought possible. Celestia looked like some kind of fluffy toy pony that had gone through a heated drying cycle. The way her body fur had fluffed up was entirely to hard too NOT laugh at.

Celestia had figured it out almost immediately who had planned such a good prank. But Celestia had Twilight upon her side, and therefore made it easy to set up pranks. As she had always heard as she was a child, two heads are better than one. The new prank she would pull upon her sister Luna would be flawless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glarin began eating another piece of chalk as he inspected the rough weighted vests they had just finished making. They had just finished tying rocks into all of the rope he had bought before being confined into a wheelchair. The guards themselves finished their 20th lap around the entire west side of the apple orchard before collapsing upon the dirt floor in front of Glarin and Nurse White. Glarin was the first to speak out loud before they could all catch their breath.

"Good job Gentle dwarves! You passed the basic endurance training portion. Now come over here and I will fit you with the custom weight suits I made for all of you today!" One of the guards perked up his hoof half way in protest.

"What do you mean weighted suits? Why do we need special uniforms for this?" Glarin looked at the pony with a combined look of disgust and support.

"For the simple fact that you arn't even close to being strong enough. For even the simplest of trainings I had set out, you are all too weak. With this new training you should all be perfectly fit for what is to come." All of the guards looked at each other before slowly nodding at each other again.

It would seem that they all had some kind of co-dependency upon each other. Something he would have to break within a few months. A warrior that depended upon other nearby warriors before jumping into action was a weak link. He wouldn't allow any weak links to be sent back to the Princesses and rulers of the world he now currently lived in.

But then he could also build upon that to a certain extent... All a matter of how it should be approached.

While Nurse White had been running them haggard around the farm. It gave him and his new helpers some time to make the proper preparations, having help was nice. One of the guards, a Unicorn, stood up before he spoke a little informally to Glarin.

"Glarin, we've been running around since you got out of the hospital two days ago. Are we going to be doing anything besides run?" Glarin chuckled at the officer pony along with everyone he was with.

"I'm Glad you asked! Now come here, let me see if this fits you.” the Unicorn walked over with a bit of a disappointed look on his face.

Glarin had Big Mac pick up the vest behind him and place it over the guards back. The guards legs bowed for a bit at the sudden increase in weight.

“Oh Celestia, how much does this thing weigh?” Glarin thought for a minute as Spike and Apple Bloom brought some more things of rope with rocks in them.

“It weighs as much as a bunch of rocks and rope, anyway, Spike and Apple Bloom here are gonna tie some more to your legs and neck. Make sure it fit’s snugly we don’t want them to rub you too much. Cause your gonna be wearing them for a long time.” The guards eyes Widened in shock

“What?! I’m gonna be wearing this all the time? What about when I need to sleep?!”

“Well you sleep with it on of course! Sheesh, and I thought Unicorns were supposed to be smart.” some of the other guards snickered in the back. “You only take it off once a week to bathe and that’s it. Wearing these for a few months should build all the muscle you need...” Glarin thought for a moment. “That reminds me, We need to go shopping for some extra food for you guys along with your own stock of chalk to strengthen your bones.”

“Wait, your gonna give us special food too?” the guards mouths began to water at the thought of eating good healthy food during training.

“Of course! I need to make sure you’re all strong and healthy. Twilight gave me a list of everything I need to ensure you all eat properly. I also got a bit of money to help with expenses. Now if you’ll excuse Nurse White and I, we’ll go shopping while Big Mac, Spike, and Apple Bloom suit you up.” The Guards happily waved Glarin and Nurse White off as they traveled to Ponyville.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glarin was wheeling around the Bargain Mart when he finally found an employee.

“Excuse me! Miss!?” The pony turned around a bit confused. While Nurse White whispered down into Glarins ear.

“Actually that's a stallion...” Glarin grunted in frustration.

“Can I, help you sir?”

“Yes, I hope you can, I’m looking for...” Glarin pulled the list he had written after Twilight told him what was needed to build muscles, and began to read it out loud. “Protein, calcium, Phosphorus, Vit-a-min A, D, E, B12, Thia-mine, Rib-o-flavin, and Pant-o-the-ric Acid... You ponies eat some strange foods.” Nurse White Rolled her eyes while the Pony who had been stopped stood in utter confusion.

“He means to say, do you have any Athlete supplements and muscle building supplements?” The pony employee seemed to sigh in relief at that.

“Yes, right this way, the Pegasus Pony Bulk Biceps buys it all the time from us.” Glarin just grunted as he followed the employee with Nurse White trailing behind him.

When they arrived the pony waved his hoof at the vast selection of supplements they had available.

“If you don’t need anything else, I’ll be on my way.” Glain waved him off as he left and picked up the nearest supplement that happened to be in a bucket.

“Hrmm.. I still can’t read this chicken scratch, think you can help me Ms. White?” Nurse White chuckled as she looked at the bucket Glarin had picked up.

“Hrmmm, looks like it has everything that's needed, besides the Calcium.” Glarin set the bucket down and slapped his knee.

“Thats perfect! We can just buy those calcium carbonite sticks to make up the calcium deficiency!” Glarin began to fill up the cart with the various buckets of supplements before he began to wheel along looking for the chalk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at the farm it was starting to get dark as Big Mac finished fitting the last guard with their weighted suit.

“So hows it feel?”

“Hmm, kind of loose around the withers...” Big Mac grabbed a small piece of rope sticking out and yanked on it. The vest tightened around the ponies withers.

“Better?” The guard moved around for a bit then smiled.

“Yeah that's much better.” As they all looked at each other, the unicorns were having the most trouble with the weighted vests while the earth ponies seemed to not really notice the extra weight. The pegasi had somewhat of a neutral look until one of them tried to fly.

“OH CELESTIA I CAN’T FLY WITH THIS VEST ON ME!” some of the other pegasi guards began to panic along with all the bat ponies as they struggled to get off the ground. As they were panicking Glarin and Nurse White were half way back to the farm when she could hear the pegasi panicking. Nurse White perked her ear's back and forth each with way for a bit before turning to Glarin.

“Sir Glarin, I can hear the pegasi complaining that they can’t fly with the vests on.” Glarin thought about this information for a minute then nodded his head.

“Alright, hurry on ahead and I’ll tell em how to fix that.” Nurse white nodded her head until she remembered all of the stuff they had bought.

“But, what about everything we bought? You can’t carry it all.” Glarin pulled out some more rope he had bought at the Bargain mart.

“Just tie this to the cart and to my wheel chair, I’ll pull it with me. I can do it, don’t worry.” Nurse white gave him a hard stare then finally nodded her head as she tied the rope to both the cart and his wheel chair.

“Alright, I’ll see you in a bit, don’t strain yourself.” Glarin just waved her off as he put his hands on the wheels and began to wheel himself over. Nurse White had taken to galloping over in order too calm the panicked stallions.

Glarin was taking his time as he thought of what to tell them. The fact the Pegasi couldn’t fly with the vests on could only mean one thing to Glarin.

They were as weak as goblins! That had to be fixed as soon as possible. Glarin wheeled himself over until he was visible to all of the ponies. The Pegasi and bat ponies slowly walked up to Glarin with desperate looks on their faces, hoping he had some kind of cure all answer.

“The answer is simple. Make your wings stronger until you can fly with the vests on.” All of the pegasi had looks of hopelessness on their faces while the earth ponies simply gave a smirk.

“Now that the nonsese is out of the way, its time to get you guys the food Twilight recommended for you.” All of the guards slowly walked up eager to see the new food Glarin got them. All of thier faces turned sour when they saw it was nothing but buckets of supplements.

“Lets see here...” Glarin looked at one of the buckets and it had picture instructions with words he couldn’t read. “According to the picture, we put 2 scoops into a cup, and you eat it from there...” Glarin looked the bucket over some more and shrugged as he opened it. “ How interesting, it’s a white powder, looks kind of like limestone.”

Glarin got some on his finger tip and shuddered at the taste. With one eye half closed he gave a thumbs up to the guards.

“Tastes good. Don’t forget to eat half a stick of this calcium carbonate as well. I’m gonna go inside and have some of that famous apple family dinner now.” As he wheeled himself away Nurse White stopped him.

“Glarin they are supposed to mix two scoops with water or milk. I’ve used this stuff before...” Glarin nodded his head as he waved them off.

“Get to it then, I’ve got Delicious apple pie to eat!” Glarin Quickly wheeled himself away as the guards looked to the buckets of supplements they were left with. One of unicorns brought his hooves to his face as he began to weep. Big Mac cleared his throat as he headed back to the house with Apple Bloom, Spike, and Nurse White so they could also enjoy some Apple Pie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All of the guards were huddled around a fire outside the barn. They had taken to sleeping inside the barn as it was close by and free. They couldn’t believe they weren't being provided with a proper place to sleep.

“Why don’t we get Apple Pie?” asked one of the guards as he choked down his liquid and chalk dinner.

“Its slave work I tell you. So far all we’ve done is run. And now we’re eating this slop that I wish was at least tasteless.”

“Well think of it this way guys, Princess Twilight told him what he needed to get to ensure we have proper health and diet, I’m sure this was all unexpected for him...”

“Didn’t he get any funds from the princesses in return for training us? What did he do with that money.”

“Probably sunk it into this nasty tasting supplement, I mean really, why did he grab the hay flavored ones. I know they have alfalfa and even chocolate ones.”

“Well, I’m sure we will have tomorrow pretty easy right? I mean we just got these vests, were probably just going to wear them as we go through the day. I don’t think we’ll be doing anything heavy until we get used to these vests.”

“I suppose your right. Wearing these vests is like learning how to fly again. I feel like a foal.” the Pegasi guard began flapping his wings in a failed effort to get off the ground.

“I know what you mean.” said one of the bat ponies as he also tried to fly.

“Well, lets get some sleep, hopefully tomorrow won’t be as bad.” The other guards all nodded in agreement as they choked down their ‘dinner’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the apply family and guests sat around the dinner table eating. Applejack decided to say something that had been bugging her for the last few days.

“Glarin do ya, Hate me?” Glarin began to cough as he started choking on the apple fritter he was eating. After he finished choking and swallowed it he gave Applejack a confused look.

“Why in the heck would you think I hated you?” Applejack timidly rubbed her hooves together

“Well on accounta what I did to ya a few days ago...” Glarin furrowed his brow in thought.

“You mean when ya hit me and sent me to the hospital? I don’t care about that lass. So don’t worry your pretty little head over it.”

“A-are ya sure?” Glarin nodded his head as he shoved another slice of apple pie into his mouth. Half way through chewing he spoke again

“I could never be mad at someone who makes food taste this good. Oh! Before I forget...” Glarin finished the slice before continuing. “... Did you ever take the bag of gems you wanted?”

“No I uh, kinda forgot.”

“Well make sure you do that tomorrow. I gotta head into the town and exchange some more as well. All those bits the princesses sent me were used up today.”

“You spent 5 thousand bits on supplements and chalk?!”

“Of course not! I bought a bunch of mining equipment and other things I’ll need to build my house. Most the money was sunk into overnight delivery for everything. I’ve got plenty of work lined up for them for the next month or so. I paid extra to have everything arrive super fast.” The Apples just looked at Glarin with wide eyes.

“You’re gonna have em build your new house?” Glarin pointed a finger at Nurse White as he finished eating.

“I may not be very smart to you ponies, but I’m smart enough to know free labor when I see it.” Nurse white shook her head

“You’re not gonna give them time to get used to thier new vests Glarin?” Glarin just scoffed as he set down the slice of Apple Cobbler.

“The best way for them to get used to em is to work with em on! Besides, with everything I’m giving them they should be grateful. All they gotta do is build a house with a basement. Twilight said I should also set up a time for them to visit the town Spa and receive massages for muscle stimulation or something...” Spike decided to speak up next.

“Um, Glarin, Arn’t you supposed to train me as well?” Glarin furrowed his brow then smacked his forehead.

“Damnit all, I forgot about that! I’ll make ya something with what I got left tomorrow Spike. In the meantime, enjoy your last easy day.” Glarin grinned at Spike while he pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket and ate it. Daring Spoke up as he saw him eat the chalk.

“Why do you eat chalk Sir Glarin? Does it taste good?”

“Not quite, but my bones have been breaking far to quickly as of late. I’ll need ta increase my calcium intake if I ever hope to fix it...” As Glarin finished eating the piece of chalk he looked around for a bit. “...Wheres that Rainbow one? I have't seen or heard from her in 3 days.” It was Stars turn to speak next.

“Mom went to Manehatten for a performance, she should be back Thursday.”

“Ah, so that's why she has multicolored hair, She’s a traveling clown...” Glarin continued to eat while the rest of the Apples jaws just dropped along with Spike.

Somewhere off in the distance, a rainbow maned pony sneezed.

Author's Note:

mmm, with the money I made in San Diego I bought some mead making supplies. Carboys, yeast, honey, etc. etc. the basics. Gonna see how it turns out in 2 months. 1 month of ferment and 1 month of ageing after its racked.

Pic is from this comic I found on Dev art

Comments

[mapu]

Try making some kvass. Great chapter.

[InsaneJustin]

4004895 Had to google it, looks interesting. I'll have to pick up some gallon jugs and try it out

[droid]

“Ah, so that's why she has multicolored hair, She’s a traveling clown...” Glarin continued to eat while the rest of the Apples jaws just dropped along with Spike.

🤣