DiE: Glarin Ungard the Berserker

by InsaneJustin

Some stuff happened with a Time Skip

Author's Note:

It BEGINS! The Triple Chapter Release! Took an extra day and a couple hours as I forgot to include editing and stuff with my time estimate...

As Glarin awoke he groped around trying to figure out why his blanket was so heavy and fuzzy, only to find out it also had a styled mane.

“Mm, didn’t you have enough last night Sir Glarin...?” Said a pink and blue mare lazily. Glarins eyes shot wide open as he looked around “Well, not that I mind having another go at it.” Glarin looked at the mare he had inadvertently been groping for the past few minutes. It was some pony he had never seen before. He quickly wiggled his way out of the pile he was in and made a break for the barn door.

“I did it again! HAHAHA!” As he ran out the barn door yelling at the top of his lungs, he woke up the rest of the ponies and Spike who were also in the barn.

“Argh, my head, what happened last night?” said Spike in a daze, feeling probably the worst hangover ever. The light coming from the barn door caused his eyes to burn with a searing pain that also enveloped his brain. “I’m never drinking again!” yelled Spike as he bent over and began to vomit. A few of the mares came up and began to rub his back or pat it gently.

“Aww are you ok our purple scaled Stud?” Spike ceased vomiting long enough to respond with a highly confused tone.

“Wait, what?” Spike wiped the bit of vomit still hanging on his mouth as he tried to focus on what she had to say.

“You’re our Stud now.” Five of the mares went up to Spike and just smiled at him. “All of us agreed to have you!” Spike looked between the five mares in total confusion.

“What the...” As Spike looked between the five different mares another thought occurred to him, they were all sexy. “...perhaps I will drink again.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glarin had stopped running once he was outside the barn and in front of the apple’s house. Boy it was a mess. They must of had some crazy party last night, ponies were strewn out all over the yard and some were even in the trees, while a few hung out of windows. As Glarin looked around he saw that rainbow maned pony looking around in total shock at the mess around the house.

“What in the hay is going on here?!” Rainbow Dash looked around and saw Glarin walking toward the house

“You! What did you do!? Where is Big Mac?! And wheres my little colt and filly?!”

“I didn’t do nothing! I was just enjoying myself a drink that Granny Smith made and then, some stuff happened, I’m not sure what though.” Rainbow Dash groaned as she threw her head back in anger.

“I swear if something happened to any of them I’ll...” Glarins eyes went wide as she stepped closer to him in a threatening manner. Strong visions of him being bucked into the endless void known as the sky flashed through his mind. When all of a sudden the front door opened with Big Mac walking out. “...Mac! You’re alright!” Rainbow flew over to Big Mac and gave him a hug with several kisses.

“Yeah I’m alright, and so are the rest of us. Grannies new drink seemed to be a hit. Besides the mess, every things alright. Welcome home by the way.” Glarin waved his hand in an effort to brush it away as he tried to walk inside.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

“Uhh, inside?”

“I don’t think so! You clean up this mess! I know you were responsible for it!”

“Take it easy on him Rainbow, he’s still injured after what Applejack did to em.”

“Injured? He doesn’t look injured to me! He was running over here from the barn!”

“The barn? Oh yeah, how did it go for you and Spike?”

“How did what go?”

“The herd party Pinkie threw for you two.” Rainbow jumped up into the air in surprise.

“Pinkie did WHAT?!”

“Now wait a minute honey, everyone had quite a bit to drink yesterday, things did get a bit out of hand, and that’s why Pinkie decided to throw that party...” Big Mac thought for a minute. “... Oh yeah, Princess Luna decided to go home last night after you started flirting with Nurse White Sir Glarin.”

“Garh! I did what!” Glarin grabbed what little hair he had on his head in fustration.

“She seemed awful depressed...” Glarin took a deep breath and just shuttered.

“I guess she’s fed up with me...” Glarin was sad for a moment before he shook his head and threw his arms up in triumph “Haha!” Big Mac stepped aside in order to let him pass while Rainbow just gave him a death glare.

“He didn’t do anything while I was gone did he?” Big Mac just watched him walk into the kitchen and shook his head

“Nnope.” Rainbow just sighed as they heard him rummaging through the fridge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of morning went by rather roughly as the ponies began to wake up and get themselves home. Rainbow Dash was a welcome sight for the apple family as she had been gone the past few days due to a Wonderbolts show that was held in Manehattan.

Spike also had one heck of time explaining to Twilight why five mares followed him home to the Library. One of them was disappointed he didn’t have a place of his own, while the other four offered he move in with them. Twilight was less than thrilled about what was transpiring in front of her home.

Glarin gave the guards a 3 hour break from starting as it would seem they all had some kind of hangover. He sent the 1st fifteen toward the Spa with Nurse White and the 1st half of the bits they had agreed upon for payment. The second half got back to work.

As he stood around directing the fifteen he still had working, one of them decided to ask a question.

“Why aren’t you using the wheelchair today Glarin?”

“Well one, I can’t find it, and two, after all the drinking I did yesterday. It feels like my ribs healed up quite a bit...” Glarin reached into his pocket and pulled out the large flask and started unscrewing it. “... sweet magical healing elixir.”

“How can you still drink...” the guard made a gag sound thinking about it. “...that stuff? Aren’t you feeling sick at all?”

“Na, it actually brings me back. I can finally get back to 100% with this. I’ll be taking it a bit slower today though, probably only drink half the barrel.”

“H-How can you stand to drink more than a single mug?” said the guard with a confused look on his face

“How can YOU stand to only drink a single mug?” said Glarin with a confused look on his face causeing the guard to sigh.

“N-never mind...” Glarin just watched him walk away and get back to work, Glarin shrugged it off as he drank from the flask. As he stood there watching them work, Rainbow Dash flew by and landed right next to him.

“I just came to say I was sorry, and to thank you for all the money you gave to Applejack, it’s really gonna help us out!”

“What money? I didn’t give her anything...” Glarin thought for a minute. “...besides some gems that I got while digging some time ago. How much did she get from them exactly?” Said Glarin as he raised an eyebrow suspiciously

“Uhh, I don’t remember the exact number, but she said a couple thousand bits, and even more once she finds someone to buy the other 2 gems in Canterlot.”

“WHAAT!?” In frustration Glarin chugged the rest of the flask.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A month and a half has passed and Glarins new home was finally starting to look like a home instead of just a massive hole in the ground surrounded by bricks and dirt. His ribs had also completely healed up to the confusion of the entire equestrian medical world. They couldn’t believe he had fully healed after only a month, filled with binge drinking no less. Yet a full scan showed he had in fact finished healing quite nicely. His bones also seemed to be stronger than they were before.

The entire equestrian medical world was baffled and he had actually started a nation wide research based on the Granny Daniels to find if it really did have healing properties.

It didn’t. The Millions of bits that were thrown into the research were wasted. Anyway...

The 1st couple of days after that herd party passed by awkwardly between Glarin and Nurse White. She wasn’t sure how to react to Glarins drunken flirts, yet she also attended that herd starting party. Only to wake up to him running out the barn yelling like a mad man. In the end he had told her it was nothing more than a night filled with drunken lust...

That would probably happen again if he ingested enough Granny Daniels.

Luna had a similar plight, after realizing he was drunk she tried several advances yet none of them seem to take, and when he started flirting with Nurse White, well she had enough and decided to head home in defeat. Glarin actually hadn’t heard anything from Canterlot the entire time, nor had he heard anything about them being broken up like he had heard about them being together. After a few days he had completely forgotten about the ordeal and kept on with his own life.

He had been having strange dreams though. Mostly about some kind of moon goat with rippling muscles and a glorious beard.

The Main hallway of Glarins grand home was finished with several side rooms and of course, a massive gym. Glarins home gym was actually bigger than The Ponyville Gym and Fitness Center combined. It had three Sauna’s, five shower rooms, and even a snack bar. The snack bar was Spikes idea.

It even had such great airflow that the smell of sweat and hard work wouldn’t make the place stink up. Being a Dwarf, Glarin had placed all of the air vents so that they would have maximum efficiency in keeping air fresh within his massive underground home.

Above ground his house looked like a small cottage similar to Fluttershy’s home, except it was made from brick and stone. A small home that looked completely unimpressive to those unknowing of the contents within. The air vents that went to the surface were also disguised as large boulders on the surface.

All of the guards lived on site inside bunk rooms. Ten to a room with plenty of extra rooms, just in case. The underground portion of it was massive compared to the top. Thanks to the lay lines map he had gotten from the princesses, he was able to build close enough to access them but not break them by accident due to careless building/mining. He just had to find a pony that could give him the hook ups so he could also get one of those magical ice boxes they called a refrigerator, and some lights.

But mostly a fridge so he could keep the Granny Daniels cold. Lights he could live without, with his dark vision and all. He wondered how the lay lines worked to get running water. Did the lay lines have some kind of magical stream running through them? Or was it some kind of fancy magic that literally created water from nothing? Well, he would find out once he found someone to set it up for him.

The guards were now covered in thick muscles that were visible for all to see. Where they once had cut muscles they now had bulking cut muscles. It would seem the amount of muscle a pony had directly affected the ponies overall size, or perhaps it was based upon their overall strength. The end result was that all of the ponies he had trained, were now at least 5-10 inches taller than him now. He would have to adjust the armor he had been making for them.

The earth ponies seemed to gain the most muscle mass and size increase. The pegasi were strong and fast fliers, way more than they were before, with a moderate muscle and size increase. The unicorns had gained the smallest amount of muscle mass and size, but had a large boost in magical power even though they hadn’t been training with their magic.

Spike was an entirely different story. Not only did he gain in muscle mass and size, his voice deepened and wings had begun to sprout from his back. He couldn’t quite fly yet but he was getting the hang of it. The mares around Ponyville would gawk when Spike traveled through town. Even Rarity was flustered around him when 2 months ago she would have nothing to do with him. Spike wasn’t sure what to do with his new found looks, and the mares that followed him around since the party Pinkie threw would jealously stick close to him on his free time.

Now that they had the muscle mass and endurance built up, it was time for some actual training with weapons and live combat. Good thing he had them build a obstacle course outside his home. They wouldn’t be able to use the underground facilities until he got the lights installed. As the ponies couldn’t see in the dark like he could, and torches got expensive even when bought in bulk.

He had hired a few Doctors to visit once a week so they could learn basic pony medical knowledge and anatomy. It would seem he would need to hire a few as permanent staff for the injures they were going to sustain during the next part of his training.

Should he also get to work on a medical ward... na, the hospital was close enough. But he would certainly need his own personal forge though. What kind of dwarf would he be if he didn’t even have his own forge? Also a few shrines to some of his dwarven deites would also need to be added.

Anyway, Glarin still also had to buy things like blankets for his bedroom and such, most of the gym equipment and other furniture was easy enough to make with the left over construction materials. After all, Glarin didn’t mind if everything was made from rock and dirt, reminded him of home and the gym equipment just needed to be heavy and have a place to hold on too.

The only thing that upset him while they were making his home, was that they didn’t find a single deposit of ore, gems they found. Gems seemed to litter the underground everywhere. In Equestria, Gems seemed to be common everywhere with certain places having very high concentrations of them. Where as metals were hard to come by in this world. Or was he just perhaps not looking in the right direction for metals?

He needed to look into the whole unicorns with magical finding spells. Like how Rarity had a spell that could locate gems, he just needed a unicorn with a metal finding spell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glarin had gathered all of he guards outside the obstacle course as he was going to have their first mock fight, with clubs.

“Alright listen up, were going to be having 1 on 1 fights. I don’t wanna see you holding back. I’m expecting bruising, concussions, and possibly broken bones, hopefully we won’t have any deaths.”

“D-deaths sir?”

“Aye, it can happen, a hard enough blow to the head can cause death. Now you will fight each other until I say to stop or one of you becomes unable to fight. Understood?” The guards had finally come around to be more accepting of Glarin, so far he had taken great care of them. And they expected him to take care of them if they did become injured from his training exercises.

“Sir yes sir!” they had also begun starting to sound like a military unit instead of a bunch of green horn guards.

“1st things 1st , put these on!” Glarin opened up a crate he had been standing next to “I had em all special made for you guys, I got tired of seeing you carry everything around with your teeth, this will also help you adapt to the new armor sets you will be using in a another month of so. It will also help keep you from losing too many teeth when your are disarmed... Actually I’m not even sure its possible to be disarmed with these unless it breaks.”

The ponies reached into the crate and pulled out what looked like some kind of harness with various pieces of metal worked into it. An earth pony began to strap it on after inspecting it for a minute. The harness seemed to go around his entire body with the front part having metal sleeves.

On closer inspection it would appear the front ends had what seemed to be metal springs and a few other contraptions that they couldn’t quite figure out at the moment. Once everypony was strapped up Glarin began to explain the device to them.

“Alright now, these here harnesses I made will hold your equipment, I’ll have to make some new equipment so they fit inside the harnesses gripping mechanism. You’ll also have to thank the towns Clock work pony for making these, hes good with all the little gears and delicate parts. He actually improved my original design for them. Now...” Glarin took one of the clubs he had near the crate and went up to an earth pony, and forced it into a hole in the harness near his shoulder.

“Ok, now, Stamp your hoof down as hard as you can, make sure the back of your hoof touches your barrel.” The earth pony complied and heard a small click when the back of his hoof touched his barrel. He then stomped his hoof down as hard as possible, cracking the earth beneath his hoof. At the same time the mechanism within the harness came to life and the club swung down, and with a loud click and a whirr the club positioned itself facing outward midway down his forearm.

“Ok good, looks like its working, now lift your hoof above your head for me...” As the earth pony lifted his hoof above his head, another click was heard and the club moved to the bottom of his hoof so it looked like he was holding the club with a single hoof above his head.

“Excellant! This way you wont have to worry about holding the weapons with your mouths, I’m sure after a bit of time you will get used to them and your fighting ability’s will improve. Tell me if you have any ideas on how to improve them or if something is wrong with it. Still have a few kinks to work out of em. I also still need to work on the speed so they can be used in actual combat better. Or maybe just rework the entire design, Not sure exactly. So we need to run a few trial runs is all.”

“Wait, you’re planning to build something like this into our armor?”

“Yeah, you’re all going to get a full helmet, so you wouldn’t be able to carry anything in your mouth, and seeing you ponies fold your arms all funny around poles and handles...” Glarin just shook his head. “...I don’t know, I don’t trust you to hold on to a weapon in the heat of a real battle like that without any fingers...” Glarin wiggled his fingers while looking at them for a moment. “...Anyway, I’ll let you guys strap your selves up and get used to them for a bit before we start the matches.” The guards all saluted and began to test them out.

Glarin watched as most of them seemed to fumble around while getting the harnesses to work. He was just glad that once he had it implemented into the armor everything would just click and snap into place. Unless Princess Twilight Sparkle got involved in the design again. He had asked for her help before, and she went and gnomed up his original design.

For those unfamiliar with the term ‘gnomed up’. It basically means taking something that could be simple, like making a sandwich, into something overly complex and a complete waste of time. Like building a complex machine the size of a house to make sandwiches for you, but only to have the machine break repeatedly or make half destroyed sandwiches.

Yeah, gnomes suck, and Twilight seemed to have the mind set of one when it came to mechanical designs. Magic on the other hand was a completely different story, it was best to leave her out of any and all mechanical designs.

Anyway, the 1 on 1 fights were a complete disaster. They were bloody scared to hit each other! And when they did, well... it looked more like love taps. Glarin briefly wondered if they would start kissing at the end of the match. They didn’t, much to his disappointment... perhaps hes had a bit much to drink today. He had starting drinking the 7 barrels of Granny Daniels 2 weeks before the ready date and was already almost through with it. He was on his last barrel and the next batch wouldn’t be ready for another 2 years.

The guards may have looked fearsome due to their sheer size and muscle volume, but their personality left a lot to be desired. They had become something like gentle giants. At least he hoped that was what they had become. He just needed to find a way past their timid nature. He would probably have to find a way to get them to become serious during these mock fights. If they didn’t learn how to fight each other, they would most certainly have trouble when a real fight broke out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toward the end of the disastrous training day, Spike came up to Glarin and asked what he had planned for later.

“Hey Sir Glarin, did you um, have plans for later tonight?” Glarin just looked at Spike with a raised eyebrow.

“Sorry Lad, my axe doesn’t swing in that direction...” Spike began to blush from embarrassment

“T-That isn’t what I meant! I was just wondering if you heard about the show Sweetie Belle was going to put on. I thought maybe you might want to go.”

“Show? What show?”

“Sweetie is going to be singing on stage tonight at the Watering Hole.”

“Why would she sing by the towns well?”

“No its not a well. Thats the name of the place. It’s a drink bar, they serve food as well and sometimes they hire ponies to provide entertainment. Sweetie Belle has been trying to get her singing career off the ground for years now. So far she’s only done small town gigs...”

“Oh that lass Sweetie Belle huh? Do you still fancy her? How about those other mares you already got a hold of? Or are you looking to expand your clan still?” Glarin gave Spike a big Grin “Oh to be young and fertile. Such an exciting life it must be. Tell me, have any of those mares gone and taken to your seed yet?” Spike’s face began to turn beat red

“N-No. I mean, we haven’t done much since that night and well... I’m not really attracted to them anymore. I just don’t know how to tell them.”

“Just go on an’ tell em! No point in dulling a blunt axe boy.”

“Well, what about what you did with Princess Luna? Isn’t that what you were doing at first?”

“That was diffrent lad! She was a Princess, royalty! She could of had me killed if it ended badly!” Spike just raised a scaly eyebrow at Glarin.

“I’m pretty sure it did end badly... what with you flirting with everyone in town except her...”

“What!? I did no such thing! It never happened as far as I’m concerned. Luna and I just went separate ways is all...”

“Big Mac told me you flirted with him as you groped his arms...” Glarin threw up his arms in defiance.

“I told you my axe don’t swing that way boy!”

“I don’t know... You kept telling him something along the lines of, and I quote ‘how do you know you don’t like dwarf, if you’ve never tried it?’” Some of the guards overheard what was being said and began to snicker.

“Boy, I swear it was the drink, also all of the ponies look like females to me, I still can’t figure out the difference between the boys and girls here. Besides lookin’ between the legs...” Spike just sighed as he shook his head.

“Look, did you wanna go see Sweetie Belle sing or not?”

“Hrm, yeah why not. Maybe I’ll find something new to drink there.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glarin and Spike were sitting at the bar, Spike needed a special seat to fit his increased size. But most of spots in Ponyville that Spike visited often had adjusted since he’s been this big for about two weeks now.

“I say Spike, this growth spurt of yours is most astonishing. Why just last week you wern’t much bigger than I was!” said the barkeep with a hearty laugh.

“Heh, yeah. I’m not sure what caused the sudden growth spurt and either does Twilight, she had to get me a new basket.” Glarin looked over at Spike for a moment in a bit of confusion.

“You sleep in a basket lad?”

“Uhh, yeah?” Glarin just shook his head.

“Well, to each his own I suppose. Hey barkeep, what do ya have thats good?”

“Hmm, well that depends. We have all kinds of juice from far and wide. And we have a bit of the apple family Cider still. We don’t carry Granny Daniels though, as far as I know it isn’t mass produced yet like the Cider is during the Fall.” Glarin just grumbled to himself a bit and looked over at Spike who just shrugged as he wasn’t sure what to get as well.

“Just give me a glass of yer finest cleaning water...” As the bar keep spun around to fill up a glass from the sink a very pale yellow pony, who was almost white in color, troted up to the bar. The pony had an electric blue mane and some crazy looking glasses that were tinted a pink red color. The pony pulled up a seat next to Glarin and smacked her hoof down on the table with a smile on her face.

“Yo Barkeep Jimmy! Give me the usual with a glass of Cider would ya?”

“Coming right up Vinyl, Glad to see you’re back in town.”

“Yeah but just for the weekend, I got a show to put on in Las Pegasus in a few days, so I came back to relax for a bit at my favorite Watering Hole.” The bar keep just nodded at her and passed the glass of water over to Glarin. Vinyl looked over at Glarin and took her glasses off as she looked at him.

“Oh hey, I know you man! You’re that new knight of Equestria the princesses made a few months ago. I didn’t know you were in town! How long you gonna stay?”

“I live here, My new home is just about finished actually.” Glarin began to sip the water from his glass slowly.

“Aww no way man for real?! That’s awesome! I had no idea I was living in the same town as a Princess and the first Knight from another race!”

“You seem very excitable. What was your name again?”

“Vinyl Scratch is the name, My stage name is DJ-Pon3 though. But you can just call me Vinyl, or Scratch. Doesn’t matter to me.” The bar keep brought over the drinks she ordered. One of them was on fire while the other had a plant of some kind in it. She also got a mug filled to the brim with a golden frothy liquid.

“What in blazes is that drink with the fire lass!?” Vinyl looked down at her drink and just grinned as she put her glasses back on.

“This is called Fire Water, its made in Stalliongrad. This other one I got is called Loco. The last drink I got is some classic apple Family Cider to wash it all down with.” She picked up the flaming drink and threw her head back as she tossed it down her gullet with it still on fire, followed by downing the drink called Loco. She made a loud exhale as she slammed the empty glasses down onto the table.

“WOO! That hit the spot. I suggest the fire water Sir Glarin. Loco is kinda just a drink for ponies as the loco weed extract in it doesn’t seem to have the same effect on non-ponies. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go help my friend Octavia and the band set up. Some young mare named Sweetie, is supposed to be singing tonight. Oh yeah, If you ever wanna hang while I’m in town drop me a line. Same to you Spike.” With that she hopped off the seat and went up on the stage behind some equipment. Glarin and Spike just looked at each other then over to the barkeep.

“Hey can we get some fire waters as well?” The Barkeep just nodded his head.

“Two fire waters coming up.” As they got their drinks, they both picked em up and slung their heads back as they threw the drink into their mouths. With loud exhales they set the glasses down.

“This fire water... Isn’t water at all! Barkeep, keep em coming!” As the barkeep got a second round going Spike tapped Glarin on the shoulder.

“Hey, Sweetie came out on stage.” Glarin turned around to see her up on stage, she looked a little nervous as she cleared her throat before speaking into the microphone.

“Hello everyone, My name is Sweetie Belle, and I was going to sing a song for an old friend of mine who can’t be here with us tonight... Her name is Scootaloo.” Glarin grabbed his drink as the Barkeep set it down and quickly downed it. Spike just sat in his seat a little bummed looking.

As the song began Glarin held off on drinking the next Fire Water as he listened to the lyrics she was singing. 30 seconds into the song, Glarin understood what the song was about. He quickly downed the firewater again and set the glass down. Then indicated he needed another one.

Glarin turned around and watched as she sang. She had a beautiful singing voice. A huge contrast to her normal speaking voice that would squeak from time to time.The sad song made him think of his family who had long since past.

As the song ended Glarin spun back around and threw his head back to drink the next firewater.

Only to have it miss his mouth and land on his beard.

Sweetie Belles sad song ended with Glarin Screaming at the top of his lungs.

“OH SWEET MERCIFUL BERRONAR!” Glarin began to run around slapping his beard and face trying to put out the fire on his beard. “SOMEONE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY SAVE MY BEARD!” Vinyl Scratch took it upon herself to throw the remainder of her Cider into Glarins face, effectively putting out his beard fire.

“Way to change the mood man.” Said Vinyl with a grin on her face.

Comments

[Nihatclodra]

Wait, wut? Scootaloo's dead?

[InsaneJustin]

4292347 This story is heavy on the alternate universe tag, as its the same universe one of my older stories was in. so yeah, she is. Honestly I don't even know why I got rid of my fav CMC

[Zemez]

Woooow, way to kill the mood man.