Dogs and Bar hopping
"TO THE NEAREST BAR!" Shouted Glarin at the top of his lungs soon as they exited Celestia's throne room.
"A bar? what would we do with a bar?" asked Daidein as Glarin chuckled
"No Lad, a place to get a drink. I'm sure you've never had a real drink before!" Daidein got wide eyes and looked over at Glarin.
"You speak of Stout and Ale Mor one? We've heard stories of it, but never had any. Besides the first generation..." Glarin wiped a tear from his eye
"You poor soul, Come let us get you a drink! But first we need to find that Lad Ozzy! I haven't seen him in almost a year now... I think. I don't have any way to track the months. Being a different realm and all, for all I know it could have been a few years already in their time. Haha!" Daidein just thought about all the stories he heard that were passed down.
Stories of how just the aroma would get the smallest Kobold drunk. Sadly he would be disappointed in Equestrian drink. As they are nothing near the same strength.
Glarin was planning to give the little kobold and a couple of Luna's Kin the hangover of a lifetime. And what better way to introduce yourself to a culture and its locals than going from bar to bar in its capital with some of its royals?
Nothing of course.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moe sat in his cage watching the ponies go about their jobs. They cleaned and fed all of the dogs. The pegasi left out the window in the ceiling and came back with food for the other ponies. Everyone got food except him! He still had the magic muzzle on as well.
Moe sat grumpily in his cage. He was used to not getting something to eat, but not when everyone else around him was eating.
Why wouldn't they share it with him?
After the ponies had finished eating they began to circle around the cage.
"What do ya think he eats?"
"Meat, did you see those teeth? You don't need that kind of sharpness for plants." Moe could actually eat anything he wanted, besides metal and stone.
A Flash of light blinded him for a second with a plate appearing in front of him. A large bright red slab of meat was then slipped through the cage bars and placed upon the plate, followed by his muzzle disappearing.
"Not true meat, but even a griffin can't tell the difference." The unicorn just watched Moe's eyes follow it around.
Red Meat, Moe had never seen red meat before, The occasional stray tunnel crawler scout was the closest thing they had to meat, but it was a blue/white color. It was about as bad and tasteless as the roots were.
Kobolds possess the unique ability to eat and digest anything they can put in their mouth. Even dirt with the occasional worm was enough to keep a Kobold alive till he/she died of old age.
Moe was fascinated by the red coloration of the meat. And the smell of it was making his mouth water.
He realized the ponies were watching him stare at the meat with his mouth hanging open. He smacked his lips closed and looked between them all before leaving the bright red meat where it was.
On the Plate.
It was being nudged in his direction via magic...
Moe lost himself to the primal urge to sink his teeth into such tender looking meat. So he did so with a gusto and a growl, to the horror of some watching.
"He cut it like butter!" Moes tongue was coated in a layer of flavor he had never experienced before.
"Gonna leave that muzzle on, yer head moves pretty damn quick. Don't it?" The unicorn was giving Moe a raised eyebrow. Moe continued to eat, lost in its savory smooth texture. It felt like it was melting inside his mouth with more flavor dancing on his tongue.
The meat was so tender and juicy, a huge step up from the crawler meat. It didn't make him want to retch, he only wanted more.
Having lived on such flavorless food his whole life, Moe had figured that was the norm.
He didn't know eating could be, enjoyable. He thought the food the Mor one had was special for such a happy day. Yet this uncooked and raw looking food tasted just as great, if not better.
As Moe licked the juice from his lips he saw the unicorn's horn began to glow again. Followed by a bright flash the muzzle was placed back on his mouth.
Moe had a change of plans, as soon as it got dark, He was gonna find more of those red meats.
Then escape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glarin, Daidein and several of Luna's kin were all walking down the road, much to the confusion of the ponies in the town. They had never seen such a group, and Glarin was going out of his way to make sure everyone noticed them. He set his voice to shout and didn't seem to know how to turn it off.
"FIRST BAR OF THE DAY, AND I GOT THE FIRST ROUND!" Shouted Glarin as he booted the doors wide open with his left heel. He almost ran to the counter dropping a heavy bag of bits onto the counter.
"Uhh, Can we...?" The bartender was then rudely interrupted by Glarin as he turned around.
"A DRINK FOR EVERYONE IN THE BAR! MY GOOD SIR!" The 4 ponies and lone griffin in the bar suddenly liked this loud obnoxious group that just came into the bar.
The Bartender opened the bag before bringing out a row of glasses.
"Any preference to what goes into the glass?"
"WHATEVER'S STRONGEST!" Shouted Glarin as he raised his fist into the air with a howl. The Bartender cringed a little, his shift just started and he was already being yelled at. He cleared his throat as he began to fill the glasses with a shimmery silver liquid.
"Is yelling necessary Sir?" Glarin just hummed in thought for a moment.
"No, I suppose its not. BUT WE NEED DRIINK!" Said Glarin in the most upbeat and happy sounding yell he could.
Everyone was rather rigid around Daidein much to Glarins disappointment. Kobolds weren't scary looking to a veteran like Glarin, who had seen unspeakable horrors in the Underdark during his early military career.
Nothing should ever have more than one mouth, let alone all over its entire body, and each with an unnecessary amount of teeth... Glarin gave his head a slight shake as he finished his shiny drink in one gulp.
After everyone in Glarins group finished their drinks he stood up with such a purpose that it brought all the attention on to him.
"TO THE NEXT BAR!"
"How many bars are you planning to visit today?" asked Gizmo Gears. His face was already looking a little flushed.
"ALL OF THEM! OR TILL WE CAN NO LONGER WALK!" Glarin gave out a big heartfelt laugh as he put an arm around Daidein and Gizmo.
"THE GUARDS SHALL CARRY US HOME!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was Finally dark.
Now was the time for Moe to make his Escape!
The ponies have been missing for a long time now, and they even turned off the lights before leaving. He was sure they wouldn't be back until morning now. Even all of the dogs had gone to sleep, Moe was able to stay awake cause he was no longer some hatchling.
He reached out and opened the latch on his door. He was glad the ponies thought him stupid enough to not know how to open his cage. The only thing was the muzzle he had on his face.
But that problem could be fixed once he got home, He was sure the great one would be able to take it off. He would get in trouble for sure if Daidein found out.
He hoped Glarin would keep quiet about it...
Moe shook his head and slowly opened his cage door and stepped outside. He made a B-line for the back room where the ponies went to get that red meat. They seemed to keep all the good stuff in the back.
Moe tried to open the door but it was locked!
If the back door was locked... Would the other doors also be locked? But he had no key!
He continued to jiggle the handle until he heard some of the dogs begin to stir. He stopped moving completely and slowly turned his head to look at the nearest dog cage.
Inside was a small dog, about one-third Moe's height, it had long fur over its body and looked rather shaggy. With his Darkvision he couldn't exactly see any colors, but he could clearly see the dog looking directly at him.
It didn't bark, it tilted its head at Moe and slowly walked up to its cage door to try and see Moe closer in the dark. It then sat down in front of the cage door and whined quietly.
Moe tried to open the door again to no avail, He thought it best to ignore the small dog until he could find a way to open the door. Any door really, otherwise he was just locked inside a bigger cage. When moe began to walk away, the small dog began to whine louder.
Moe stopped walking when the whine became so loud it might wake up the other dogs. So he turned around and looked at the dog again. The dogs whine slowed and quieted down.
Until Moe tried to leave again. Only to hear the dog go back to whining. He groaned and went back to the front of the cage.
The dog was up on its hind legs, dancing back and forth for some reason. Did it just want him to watch it do some stupid trick? Moe turned around to leave once again only to hear it let out a low bark that sounded almost sad.
Moe saw that the dog was just looking at him and at the cage door...
Moe slowly opened the latch and opened the door for the little dog. To which it responded with dancing on two legs around him once it was outside. The little dogs tail was wagging so furiously that its back feet would slide back and forth on the tiled floor.
Moe was suddenly happy, The little dog seemed to be absolutely smitten with him, and its enthusiastic behavior was helping him stay calm in this situation. He admits that the only part of his plan he was 100% sure of, was getting out of his cage.
Knowing they put locks on the doors, He would have to find another way out. Moe walked around the room with a claw on his newest friend. Moe looked around the room and saw what looked like a hole in one of the walls!
The hole reminded him of all the holes he saw in the buildings when he was walking around Ponyville. What were those called again? Moe shook his head cause it didn't matter what they were called, he just knew it would be the way out now.
But, how would he get up there? Moe pondered for a bit and decided to just pile junk up until he could reach the hole.
As Moe began to grab things and pile them up, His new friend also began to grab anything it could carry in its mouth to the pile as well. All of the movement began to wake the other dogs, who started to whine at the sight of them being outside of their own cages.
Moe looked around and saw that most if not all of the dogs were awake now. Many didn't bark but instead would stare at them while making a whine noise, even more of them were excited and couldn't sit still in front of the cage doors.
Moe Gulped and wondered if letting all the dogs out was a good idea.
He looked down at his newest buddy who hand a thin pointy stick in his mouth and patted him on the head.
Moe let the Dogs out. Who let the dogs out? (the answer is Moe)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Do dwarves have any good songs? Like something you all hum while you work?" Glarin drank only half of his glass before musing to himself for a moment. This strange pony had just come out of the blue and starting asking all kinds of questions pertaining to his culture's music.
"WE HAVE MANY SONGS LAD! ALL OF THEM BETTER THAN GOOD! MADE BY MASTER CRAFTSMEN OF THE DWARVEN WORD AND SONG!" The pony was a bit taken aback as that was the first response Glarin had given him.
But then it was also the first time he let him say something. He was overly excited about meeting Sir Glarin in the flesh. After reading so much about dwarves in the newspaper and even some things that Princess Twilight Sparkle published about the new race called dwarves. But nothing about their music!
He decided to take it upon himself to discover some traditional dwarven music.
"Could you give us an example Sir Glarin?" Glarin gave a slight grin as he scratched his chin.
"OYE YOU LOT! FLOYD, PJ, ECHO, PINK! WE NEED YOUR MUSICAL TALENTS!" The four ponies slowly cantered up, they were clearly feeling the 4th drink of the night. Glarin was the only one that got everyone a glass of firewater. Everyone else seemed to be buying normal strength drinks.
Much to Glarins displeasure, he would never get drunk at this pace.
He went to each one and gave them a quick intro to follow.
"YOU LOT WILL MAKE THE BEAT! WHILE I SING THE TRADITIONAL MINING SONG!" They began to beat tables and mugs together to make the sounds Glarin had instructed them to do. Everyone in the bar stopped what they were doing to watch as Glarin climbed up top the bar and began to clear his throat.
"BROTHERS OF THE MINE REJOICE!" Diggy Diggy Hole
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Letting all of the dogs out was the best idea Moe ever had.
He was upset about not being able to find those red meats though. But knowing he helped free a bunch of good creatures made him all fuzzy on the inside. It gave him the energy he needed to make sure every dog could get out... Moe looked to the back room where they took the older dog.
Moe looked through the pile of junk they had collected for him and found a large stick with a big soft thingy on the other end that flopped about loosely. He stood in front of the locked door in the back and stared at it for a minute.
Many of the dogs followed him and whined as he got closer to the door. Moe took his big stick and began to wack the door with it in a frenzy.
The door wasn't very sturdy and seemed to be hollow with its outside surface being very thin. Moes Flop Stick, as he called it. Worked just well enough to break the door down after a hole was made. A few of the dogs began to help him by grabbing at loose parts and tearing the door apart.
Once they were inside Moe looked around and saw many cabinets filled with small containers and wondered where they put the dog from earlier... and where the red meats were.
He began to open every door he could in search of the red meats with the other dogs copying him as well. Opening or scratching at things they couldn't open.
After a solid 15 minute's the entire room was in ruins, but they found the red meats!
Moe was unable to eat any because of the muzzle, So he just tossed everything out of the big cold metal box they were all inside of. The dogs began to bark excitedly as they began to eat what Moe tossed into their direction. Moe had to walk inside of the huge metal box to make sure he took all of the red meats. He wasn't sure what any of the other stuff was, but the dogs seemed to like it as well.
All of the dogs eventually had their fill and took to leaving the room once they ate. In the end, the only one who ate nothing was Moe. But it was ok. He already ate one of the red meats earlier today. And making sure his new friends were fed and safe was now his top priority.
Once they were all out of the back room the Dogs were more than glad to help him drag or push large heavy objects so they could reach the window. Moe was the first and only one to reach the top. He climbed up to the hole and felt some kind of invisible barrier!
He felt around and looked for some way to open it, it felt pretty solid and seemed to have some kind of metal frame. He saw something that looked like the latch on his cage and opened that, causing the invisible barrier to give way. Moe pushed as hard as he could and fell outside landing on his back a couple feet down.
He looked up to the window and waited for his new friends to follow him out...
They weren't coming, In fact, he could hear them barking. They were panicked he had disappeared. Moe ran around and grabbed all the trash he could find in the ally and piled it up until he could reach the hole again and pulled himself inside again.
The dogs stopped barking at the sight of Moe. Moe realized the pile he made really only made it possible for him to escape out the window, he would have to rebuild it so they could all follow him out as well.
At first, Moe was only concerned for his own safety. But these dogs were in the cages just like him. Did the ponies just enjoy locking up those they thought weren't as smart as them?
Moe puffed out his chest and mentally prepared himself for the task ahead. He couldn't leave until every single one of his new friends was out safe and sound.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"NO WAY YA CAN LIFT THE TABLE WITH ONE ARM LITTLE GUY!" The night had been going strong for a few hours now and everyone was thoroughly drunk.
"Wanna..." Said Daidein with a sly smirk growing across his lips. He reached to his back and pulled out some gems from behind his armor, and tossed em onto the table. "...Bet?"
Canterlot seemed to have an abundance of bars near the castle for some reason. A group of earth ponies had come to chat with the mares of the group since all the boys left to get drinks.
All with the exception of Daidein. He didn't know it, but he was reaching drunk. He stayed behind convinced that leaving the females alone would be disastrous.
Which put him into his current situation.
And to think, it all started when Daidein announced that none of the stallions who approached them were worthy of mating with any of the females he was traveling with. This of course, brought all the attention to him. As every stallions masculinity in the room was challenged by that statement.
It was quickly de-evolving into a pissing contest between every Stallion/Griffin that thought he was 'worthy' of being with the mares.
Without hesitation, the stallion who had challenged Daidein to a strength contest tossed down a sack of bits as well.
"120 BITS! 120 BITS IF YA LIFT THIS HUGE TABLE WITH ONE HAND LITTLE GUY!" The Stallions all burst into laughter at Daidein. The table was actually rather big compared to him. It was about half an inch taller than Daidein himself and looked to of been built pretty solidly. It was big enough for six chairs after all.
"BET ACCEPTED!" Roared Daidein grabbing the entire bar's attention. Glarin and the others who went to the bar to buy drinks were arriving back just in time to see it unfold.
Daidein crouched near one of the tables and put his claw on the tables front right leg. He looked over to Kira and Maggie Pie, motioning them to pick up their drinks.
They quickly took their drinks off the table with the exception of the stallions that tried to move in.
With a savage hiss and grunt Daidein quickly lifted the table up off the floor knocking over all the drinks that were still on it. He widened his stance and leaned back slightly to give himself more leverage as he then slammed the table back to the ground, breaking the two legs on the other side of the table.
Everyone in the bar instantly shut up except Glarin and others who simply cheered at the sight. Daidein took the bag of bits with the gems.
"Not Worthy..." Said Daidein as he began to count of the bits out of the bag. "I cover next round Mor One! Also how much to fix table?"
Glarin burst into laughter as he handed Daidein his drink. All of the stallions and griffins who had gathered around stepped back when Glarin entered the scene.
"THEN FINISH MY BOY AND LET US HEAD TO THE NEXT BAR!" The boys began to chug their drinks while the girls drank with a gusto.
So far, The ponies were able to keep their own against Glarin, but that probably had a lot to do with the fact they were buying weak common beers.
"Oh Jeez, My stomach is full..." said Maggie Pie after chugging the beer. She was the only Mare that was drinking at the same speed as the boys.
"TAKE STEADY BREATHES MAGGIE MY GIRL! CALM THE STOMACH AND MAKE MORE ROOM!" Said Glarin as he chugged his beer in one gulp. Then slammed the mug onto the table upside down.
"NEXT BAR WE HIT, YALL BETTER SET EM DOWN UPSIDEDOWN! IF IT LEAVES A RING ON THE TABLE YOU GOTTA GET ANOTHER!" Glarin was feeling it, all of the yelling and quick drinking was helping reach an early buzz.
Several bouncers and the barkeep were standing near them waiting for them to finish.
"92 bits and 3 of those gems for the Mahogany table, and then you all need to leave." Daidein started to slowly count the bits out one by one...
Shame he couldn't count past 23.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moe had no idea how much time passed since they began to rearrange all the junk so they could all escape.
But it was done. Everyone was out safe and sound.
All of the dogs were watching Moe, waiting for him to take the lead. Moe may be a teen in Kobold years, but now he has responsibility. He would hate to disappoint Daidein. If Daidein ever found out, he could say he at least stuck to the morals he learned. Maybe then his punishment wouldn't be so bad...
Moe lifted his Flop Stick up over his head in both hands and began to jump and dance in place. The dogs also joined him and ran around him a few times.
After the small celebration at their freedom, they headed out. Moe needed to find that train thing, it was the only way he knew how to get home. He began to run in the direction he thought the train was in with all of the dogs following him.
Some would scout ahead with others running beside him. Many were right behind him.
It was dark and the city seemed to be mostly asleep. They had free reign of the city streets.
The mob of 30 dogs and Moe moved semi-silently through the night.
Moes mind was racing about how he was gonna get them all home. He had no idea how to get home on foot. He was positive it would be impossible to sneak all of his new friends along with himself onto the colorful train.
With the magical muzzle on he couldn't speak. If the ponies had a problem with him and his new friends, then he would take the color train by force if he needed to...
He just really hoped Daidein wouldn't find out about this. Perhaps he could just say all of these dogs simply followed him home when he went out for a stroll...
Moes thought process stopped when he heard one of the dogs up ahead release a high pitched bark followed with a whine.
Moe stopped running and made a B-line in the direction it came from. Every single dog followed Moes lead and soon came upon a pegasus who had the dog trapped in a net.
"What the Fu..." The pegasus had gotten a call about a stray dog barking around the area waking up some ponies. He didn't expect to see a pack of them with some Lizard holding a mop.
Moe lowered his head and bull rushed the pegasus jabbing him in the face with the mops floppy end. The pegasus dropped the net he was holding in his hooves and stepped back in surprise more than actual pain.
Several of the dogs rushed to Moe's side and began to Bark and growl at the pegasus. Moe used this opportunity to slash the net apart with his claws.
The trapped dog happily jumped out and gave Moe a lick before running back to the pack. Moe raised his Floppy stick up into the air and grunted as loud as possible gaining the attention of the dogs and the pegasus.
He then pointed his floppy stick in the opposite direction, directing the dogs away from the pegasus and back to the pack. Moe shook his floppy stick at the pegasus and then turned around leading all of the dogs back down the street.
The pegasus just watched em all leave, stunned by what he just witnessed.
"Not exactly sure what's going on, but I think I need to get some help..." The pegasus took to the air and got a pegasus's eye view of them.
He wasn't sure what their intent was, or even what the lizard was, but they seemed to be heading in the direction of the castle. He sped off in the direction of the nearest guard post.
Moe was basically in the middle of the pack, some of the faster dogs were running in circles as they kept up with the pack, Making sure the slower ones weren't forgotten or left behind.
Moe made it a point to not leave any of them behind. If there was one thing he read on the wall of knowledge, it was that no one gets left behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glarin was wondering why so many bars happened to be around the Castle. He wondered why until he saw the Princess of the night at the next bar they went too. She was just sitting at the bar of a place called the Prancing Pony.
For the first time in the night, Glarin stopped yelling.
"Lets go to a different..." Glarin was interrupted by all of Luna's adopted kids as they all rushed forward to greet her.
Luna turned around and began to laugh as she hugged the ones who ran up to her.
"My, I was wondering when all of you would make your way here. Ever since the Prancing pony moved closer to the castle I've been able to pop in for some drinks. Being able to teleport large distances has its advantages. But something closer to home is much easier." Said Luna as she sipped from a large glass she held in her magic. She was eyeing Glarin in the background.
"Soon as I awoke this evening I was told all of my children and newest guests were out traveling the town. Knowing our knight of Equestria, I figured it was to go to every bar in town." Luna gave a sly grin knowing that her guess was spot on. She looked over and saw the Lizard creature Celestia had told her of and smiled at him as well.
"Daidein the pony over there with the dark blues and shiny wavy hair is Princess Luna. It would seem she was expecting us..." Said Glarin. Daidein took no hesitation and approached the Princess when they made eye contact.
All of the ponies made room for him. Daidein kneeled in front of Luna and just stayed silent.
"Stand Daidein, Begining now you and all of your people are equals among us. The rest of the world won't know of it till the morning when my sister does the heavy speaking. As such, your armor suggests you to be a warrior correct? Perhaps we should go around to..." Luna tilted her head back and finished her drink "...knighting you as well."
The barkeep refilled Luna's glass when she levitated it closer to him. He seemed to of been used to doing it as he didn't even look as he filled the glass to the brim.
"Iz... it would be an honor." He stood and realized the world seemed to be slightly titled. Daidein was trying to figure out why his balance and speech was so hard to keep straight. He was spending so much of his energy on them he was starting to wonder if it was worth keeping perfect manners.
He didn't know it was the alcohol, he just read about it being a drink of the gods, and how much fun one could have whilst drinking it. He was having fun no doubt. The locals were more than friendly with him and very talkative as well.
"Then so be it. I'll make the arrangement for it to happen tomorrow as well. It should be an eventful day to be sure." Luna drank half of her newly filled glass. Then cantered up to Glarin and gave him a peck on the cheek.
"I must hurry back to the castle now, to make the necessary arrangements. In the meantime, all drinks are on the castles tab." She moved her face over to Glarins and quietly told him a tidbit of information.
"We can have an after party in my room later. Just the two of us..." Glarin nodded his head making her give a happy grin. Luna turned around to go talk to her children giving Glarin a decent look at her backside.
Glarin couldn't help but notice the definition on her. She was no longer perfectly smooth all over, she looked like his guards did when they started training. Did she start working out?
Glarin was deep in thought. If he could get drunk enough with this free tab...
She should still have the hair grow as well... She could get the beard back!
...and with the sight of her lean muscle mass... Maybe.
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Luna just has to hope drunk Dwarf gets into the castle before everything goes to the dogs now.
Yep... That's a kobold alright.
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Arrrrgh you mendûnost!
I'll never be able to get rid of this frickan Ohrwurm.
I already had diggy diggy hole stuck in my head for about six chapters and now you even use it in a chapter