Autumn of love

by TokusatsuKuuga-RX

1

As it was in Ponyville like almost any other day, a young Alicorn named TokusatsuKuuga-RX worked hard removing rocks at Sweet Apple Acres, he only began to work there a month ago after Princess Celestia and Luna gave there permission for him to live in Ponyville.

On his down time he and Big McIntosh would race around Sweet Apple Acres, one day when
Apple Bloom called both of them inside for supper while eating TokusatsuKuuga-RX noticed Applejack and got this weird tugging feeling coming from his heart, not wanting the others to notice he excused himself and went to bed early. But then at 3:00 AM he woke up, trying to cover his face did not help getting him back to sleep, to calm his nerves he started to pace back and forth from one end of his room
to the other. He had been pacing for what seemed like an eternity then looked at the clock and to his surprise it was only 3:30 AM, so brushing off the anxiety went back to bed and fell asleep again.

It was now November and apple picking was ending, Granny Smith gave out who would be working
with who, she would help Big McIntosh and Apple Bloom keep away rabbits from eating the apples
Applejack and TokusatsuKuuga-RX would be harvesting, on and on it went for three weeks until all
the apples were off the trees to celebrate Granny Smith made apple pie with vanilla ice cream, afterwards TokusatsuKuuga-RX went outside to look at the sky and stars, noticing that he was not inside Applejack looked then found him sitting on the porch she walked up to him when he noticed her,
startled TokusatsuKuuga-RX ran like thunder until he was at the Cutie Mark Crusaders club house.

Still trying to catch his breath from running and gathering his thoughts he still had this feeling
every time Applejack was around. After a long search Applejack finally caught him and began to
speak,

“Why y’all run off for?”

TokusatsuKuuga-RX could not speak the words, then Applejack said,

“I got worried looking for and thought I might have upset you some how.”

then TokusatsuKuuga-RX said,

“No you have not.”

then wanting a better reason Applejack asked,

“Why?”

finally knowing he could no longer hide it he said,

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU APPLEJACK!!!”

shocked and blushingApplejack replied,
“I do not know what to say.”

then TokusatsuKuuga-RX gave his explanation,

“I have liked you the moment I came to Sweet Apple Acres but have not had the courage to say
anything.”

then Applejack kissed him, left in a daze TokusatsuKuuga-RX asked why she just kissed
him, she replied that she had also liked him but was also too afraid to say anything also, then the others
got worried and searched until they found hoof prints Apple Bloom noticed that the prints went to the
club house then finally they found Applejack and TokusatsuKuuga-RX talking, then upon finding
them Apple Bloom started waving and shouting at them to come back home with them and so they
all went home but both Applejack and TokusatsuKuuga-RX walked just a bit closer together that night.

And so they started going out on dates with each other until TokusatsuKuuga-RX asked Applejack
to marry him she said yes, they got married at Sweet Apples Acres with all of Ponyville there
with Princess Celestia presiding and the Cutie Mark Crusaders spreading rose and cherry blossom petals all along the aisle, as it was almost time for Applejack to enter TokusatsuKuuga-RX started moving his tie around wanting to look his best but was actually nervous about everything happening
then noticing what he was doing Spike said,

“Dude I know you are worried about everything but remember you are going to marry Applejack you should be happy.”

TokusatsuKuuga-RX replied,

“I know that Spike and I am happy but still this is a big change in my life I just wondering if I can be a good Husband for Applejack.”

“I know you will or else Applejack would not be marring you.”
said Spike.

Then music started to play and ponies stood up, appearing with Big McIntosh was Applejack in a white satin dress with a daisy crown as they started to walk she gave her soon to be
Husband a comforting smile which dissipated any remains of nervousness. As Big McIntosh
handed his sister over he told TokusatsuKuuga-RX,

“Yeap now you take good care of her.”

to which he replied,
“I will Big McIntosh.”

“Gosh man call me Big Mac you are going to be my brother soon”
and with that said he had renewed courage.

With the ceremony underway and the rings were given to both ponies then Princess Celestia said,

“The couple have each prepared there own vows and will now say them to each other.”
speaking with his most confident voice,

“Applejack when I first came to Sweet Apple Acres I felt nervous and scared at the same time then over the months of helping you out apple bucking my feels started to change from that of nervousness to one of gladness and so I hope to spend the rest of my life with you.”

also speaking with her most confident voice said,

“TokusatsuKuuga-RX I to was nervous when I first saw you but grew to respect you not just for apple bucking but for being kind and so I hope to also spend the rest of my life with you.”

and so with the rings on both of there hooves said,

“I do.”

and the guests cheered there loudest to which could be heard all the way to Canterlot.
With the ceremony over and reception underway in the barn Princess Celestia gave a toast,

“To both TokusatsuKuuga-RX and Applejack may they both live in happiness for the rest of there
lives”

the ponies toasted there cups and cheered once again.

When the party was over the happy couple was showered with daisy petals as they entered the
carriage for there honeymoon in the Crystal Empire Applejack tossed her flower bouquet it landed
in Spike’s claws with Rarity next to him both blushed and so with there friends and family waving to
them they smiled at each as the carriage went into the sunset knowing in there hearts that there love
would remain strong in any hardship.

THE END

Comments

[lmagine]

Uh... get a cannon ready.

This is terrible.

[Blackguard]

Here's a suggestion. Don't make self-insert fics with your screen name especially if it's something as stupid as "TokusatsuKuuga-RX" unless you're specifically trolling and trying to rustle jimmies. In which case, mission accomplished but you're going about it all wrong.

[FellFour]

>a young Alicorn named TokusatsuKuuga-RX
>young Alicorn named TokusatsuKuuga-RX
>Alicorn named TokusatsuKuuga-RX
>named TokusatsuKuuga-RX
>TokusatsuKuuga-RX

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgzqj7UdD91qd10xu.gif

[KiltedKey]

You know, I've wondered one thing about writing troll fics...

You could have masturbated several times instead of writing them.

I'd rather get two or three orgasms off then write this.

[Willow the Pegasus]

3472194 You speak for us all as women and men.

[KiltedKey]

3472271 Twenty five years of wisdom at your service.

[FicusCat]

Idiotic story, especially without any sort of context or background.

Who is TokusatsuKuuga-RX ? Why this fucker doesn't have a PONY name ?

[For The Plot]

3473155 Look at the author's name.

[FicusCat]

3478119

The question was rhetoric.

[For The Plot]

3478145 Alas, rhetoric internet questions do not translate well.

[FellFour]

I'm gonna be a nice guy and tell you what I think about this story TRUTHFULLY.

1. I see what you are trying to do here and I think it would have been a decent story, IF you would have worked on it a little more. A self-insert fic if I'm not mistaken. I don't really see those that often, but whatever.

2. If you ARE going to make a self-insert fic, try using your first name or something. Don't use your username is it's as stupid as yours. I mean, look at my name! If I was to make a story kind of like yours, I would use my first name. I mean, putting the name 'FellFour' for an OC character wouldn't be the best name for an earth pony/pegasus/unicorn/Alicorn. It just doesn't fit in right. that's what she said.

3. Give a little more background with your character, which is yourself. That's the most important thing that you should put into your story. There isn't exactly a message in this story.

4. The description should be in the story itself.

5. The grammar. ...Jesus Christ. Listen, if you need a proofreader/editor; I'm more than willing to help you out with that. Send me a message if you do. I'm also more than willing to give you some advice when it comes to making a story. Either that or you could go talk to the following for advice:
Radiant Dawn
RainbowBob
Pen Stroke
(Radiant Dawn and RainbowBob are both great guys and I love their work. The same goes to Pen Stroke; great guy and writer. Been around WAY longer than I have and are obviously better writers than I am.)
--------------------------------
Like I said, you can ask me for help and I'll be more than willing to help you out. If you do want my help, than just send me an email containing the text in a Microsoft Word document and I'll gladly fix any grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors.

Aren't I such a great guy?

[HyperBlossom7]

This story makes me sad, and no it's not because of the plot, it's because of the horrible grammar and everything.

By the way, it's one thing to insert yourself into a story, but it's a whole another thing to put your USERNAME in the story. That's just really stupid. This story shouldn't even be on here. In fact it should be deleted ASAP before you bring harm to anyone else.

By the way, think about how it would sound if someone was calling your character's name, and in the presence of others. For example:

"We have to find TokusatsuKuuga-RX!"

"TOKUSATSUKUUGA-RX WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Wow you said a mouthful."

That just sounds really odd. Automatic dislike from me.

[Flint Sparks]

How did this pass moderation? I've seen better fics get rejected from submission. Is this one of those stories where the mods just... give up?

[FellFour]

3481947

As long as the story is set in the Friendship is Magic universe, whether it be good or bad, it will pass moderation.

I know, it sucks doesn't it?

[Spike3113]

You should do a sequel starting from when the bouquet landed in spikes claws.

[TokusatsuKuuga-RX]

I will think about it Spike3113.

[spideremblembrony]

Wow... this is not a good start.

First off, the run on sentences are just nauseating. There need to be punctuation marks at the end of every sentence. Be it a statement, a question or an exclamation, there needs to be something ending the sentences. When one idea is finished and another one starts, it is separated by one of the following. (.) (?) (!) These show that you are ending one sentences and beginning another.

Next is the story itself. I'm not against self-inserted characters within a story. After all, don't we put a little piece of ourselves into the characters we create. The problem is that this character receives no development beyond being in love with Applejack. There is no backstory, no delving into his psyche, not one piece of interesting character development is introduced within the confines of the story. The story moves by so fast that we are never given enough time to breath and absorb what we just read. It goes from one point to the next without stopping to know why we should feel for these characters. In order to become invested in the characters, we need to know about them and we need to relate to them. We need to know why they are doing something and what drives them to overcome the obstacles that stand in their way.

This was not a well written story and not a good self insert. If there had been more depth into the characters, the situation and the history of why we should care, it would probably have been better received. Although the grammar and spelling wouldn't have hurt either. I'm sorry I'm being so harsh, but these are things that need to be address for next time. Have a good day.

[ThatCrazyPerson]

Listen... stop fucking writing. You can't. It's that simple. In fact, this fic was so bad that i nearly shot my balls off. You get a dislike, you worthless piece of shit. Fuck you. You shamed Applejack, you little bitch. Who the fuck upvoted this worthless-alicorn-OC bullshit? Really, I must know.

[ThatCrazyPerson]

3962548
Anyway, how the fuck does someone just say "TokusatsuKuuga-RX"? That's right!
YOU FUCKING CAN'T. What a retarded name.

[Dancing Dead]

Kill yourself.